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QueenScoopalot
09-23-2004, 12:58 PM
How To Write Good

- Avoid alliteration. Always.
- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
- Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
- Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
- Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
- One should never generalize.
- Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said,
"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
- Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
- Don't be redundant; don't more use words than necessary;
it's highly superfluous.
- Profanity sucks.
- Be more or less specific.
- Understatement is always best.
- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
- One-word sentences? Eliminate.
- Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
- The passive voice is to be avoided.
- Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
- Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
:D :D :D :D :D

Samantha Puppy
09-23-2004, 02:00 PM
LOL

tatsxxx11
09-23-2004, 02:12 PM
As a lover of language, all I can say is thank you thoroughly for your wonderfully witty words of wisdom regarding the right way to write...more or less...! ROFLOL!:D

Logan
09-23-2004, 02:21 PM
I could already imagine how fun this would be, because I could envision my mother saying "How to write well", rather than "How to write good". Hehehe!!! With a mother who majoried in English, you can imagine the corrections I received as I was growing up! :p I still get them from her!!!!! :p Too funny!!!! :D

QueenScoopalot
09-23-2004, 03:16 PM
Originally posted by tatsxxx11
As a lover of language, all I can say is thank you thoroughly for your wonderfully witty words of wisdom regarding the right way to write...more or less...! ROFLOL!:D

I wish I wrote it! I had it tucked away for a while, and before deleting it, decided to post it here. Glad you enjoyed it as I did! ;)