simpsons and family guy quotes

[guster girl]

Ok, I used to love, love, love the simpsons. It's just not as funny to me anymore, though. The Family Guy has become my favorite tv show. But, I still love watching the simpsons. And, I was just cruising the net looking at old quotes, and, I found this conversation from the simpsons. I'll prolly post more of my favorites from both shows, too, but, just wondered if anyone else likes these shows.....

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

[Cincy'sMom]

I don't watch the Simpson's (or any show for that matter) the way I did in college. We used to watch it all the time!! One of my favorte quotes was grandpa telling a story. I don't remembet he whole thing but part of it was

"So I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time..."

[guster girl]

Originally posted by Cincy'sMom


"So I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time..."

I just love that, even out of context, this crap can make me bust out laughing. it's just so completely random!

[Amber]

I love The Simpsons and Family guy

Funny shows!

[bluekat]

I LOVE the Simpsons:D I've never watched Family Guy though lol. I don't watch alot of TV now, but when I do its probably the Simpsons:D

[lizzielou742]

This is my all time favorite quote from The Simpsons. If you saw the whole episode, it was absolutely hilarious. It had me rolling on the floor in tears!!!

Homer : Kids, Kids! I'm not gonna die! That only happens to bad people!
Bart : What about Abraham Lincoln?
Homer : Err...He sold poisoned milk to school children.
Marge : Homer!
Homer : Hey, I'm just trying to make it easier on them.


The Family Guy rocks!! Stewie and Brian crack me up. This is my favorite quote, where Brian the dog is trying to talk to a Spanish-speaking bellboy:

Brian: Hola, me llamo es Brian...Nosotros caramos ir condustedes...uhhhh...
Bellboy: Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.
Brian: Oh, oh, you speak English?
Bellboy: (sighs) No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.
Brian: You...you're kidding me, right?
Bellboy: Que?

:D :D :D :D

[guster girl]

Originally posted by lizzielou742

The Family Guy rocks!! Stewie and Brian crack me up. This is my favorite quote, where Brian the dog is trying to talk to a Spanish-speaking bellboy:

Brian: Hola, me llamo es Brian...Nosotros caramos ir condustedes...uhhhh...
Bellboy: Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.
Brian: Oh, oh, you speak English?
Bellboy: (sighs) No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.
Brian: You...you're kidding me, right?
Bellboy: Que?

:D :D :D :D

omg. i'm dyin', i love that show!

[Aspen and Misty]

I LOVE the one Simpson where Lisa and Bart are taken away from Marge and Homer and Homer goes to Lisa's room and picks up her Sax. and says I miss her playing this (or something like that) then puts it to his lips and goes "Saxamaphone Saxamaphone"

LOL

I also love the Family guy and Aqua Team Hunger Force!!

Ashley

[guster girl]

Originally posted by bluekat
I LOVE the Simpsons:D I've never watched Family Guy though lol. I don't watch alot of TV now, but when I do its probably the Simpsons:D

You HAVE to watch the Family guy. In my opinion, it's funny the way the the simpsons USED to be. In the last three or four episodes of the Simpsons that I've caught, I've only laughed on average like three times. I used to just roll around crackin' up when I watched them. Now, it's the Family Guy, for sure, that gets me laughin'! But, I'd still take the Simpsons over almost every other show on TV. Still in my top five! I don't watch tv much at all, but, I always try to catch Family guy.

[guster girl]

Originally posted by Aspen and Misty

I also love the Family guy and Aqua Team Hunger Force!!

Ashley

ATHF is awesome, too. And, the little snippets between shows during the adult swim cartoons. Like the emails from viewers. those are great! ANd, i think the show's called home videos, it's funny! Even that sealab one and the new one called venture brothers. a lot of those adult swim cartoons are fantastic! oh, duh, and, can't forget futurama!

[Aspen and Misty]

I love futurama but hate Sealab, with a passion. LOL.

I LOVE the emails from viewers!! They are the best!! LOL.

Ash

[lizzielou742]

Family Guy:

Lois: I just wish my opinion mattered to you.
Peter: Well, the important thing is, it matters to you, and that's the greatest gift of all.

I could post a lot more funny quotes that I found online, but most of them are either too racy or I haven't actually seen the episode yet (but they're still funny)!!! :D

[lizzielou742]

OK OK OK just one more...

Lois: Peter, you're bribing your daughter with a car?
Peter: Ah, c'mon, Lois, isn't "bribe" just another word for "love?"

:D

[Amber]

Stewie: What the h*ll is this?
Lois: Sweetie, that's tuna salad.
Stewie: Oh, is that what it is? Really? Because I could have sworn it was mayonnaise and cat food.


:D

[flamepony12]

LOL! ive never seen the family guy but i love the simpsons. :)

[BitsyNaceyDog]

From the Simpsons-
Ralph- "that's my sand box, I'm not allowed to go in the deep end"

It used to be more about Bart, now the episodes seem to revolve around Homer. They were better when they were more about Bart.


I love Family Guy, I'm glad it's back on t.v.
We have the season 1 dvd set and watch them all the time.

[animal_rescue]

I like these from Family Guy!

[Chris jumps on Peter's lap]
Chris: Dad, the scouts are no fun. I just want to draw. Oh, and...
[kisses Peter]
Peter: Son, I am going to stand up, walk out of this room, and we are never to speak of this again.

Psychiatrist: Does Stewie have a history of violence?
Lois: Oh no, this is Stewie's first violent act.
Stewie: Actually, my first violent act involved that ticking time bomb that I left in your uterus when I left. Happy 50th Birthday, Lois.

[slleipnir]

'ahh beer the cause of, and solution to all of lifes problems'

[kingrattus]

Love futurama, simpsons & family guy!!!

No one gets funnier then Dr. Zoiburg!! (sp) hes a stupid Dr. Crab type thing & he cut off Frie's arm once & once he sewed Fried head on on, umm that girls body heheh

I have alot of time on my hands & took some pics of Family Guy several months back

Peter
http://jess.iahu.ca/albums/album81/august13_142003_053.sized.jpg

Quagmire (sp) & his usual date hehehe
http://jess.iahu.ca/albums/album81/august13_142003_054.sized.jpg

Brian & his gay Cuz.
http://jess.iahu.ca/albums/album81/august13_142003_056.sized.jpg

Forget the guys name beating on Peter
http://jess.iahu.ca/albums/album81/august13_142003_062.sized.jpg

& my all time fav, Lois kicking Peter in the head
http://jess.iahu.ca/albums/album81/august13_142003_069.sized.jpg

Tom has lots of these types of pics including South Park.

We have 4 DVDs of Family guy. It was a box set & I think each DVD is 1 seasons worth.

[primabella]

I love all of the quotes posted so far. I'm a total Simpsons junkie and cracked up at each one of these. :D I admit, the newer ones just aren't the same but I never get tired of he first 6 (or maybe more :p) seasons. Family Guy is a great show too but I don't get the channel for it anymore. Argh.

Homer:

"God bless those Pagans."

"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'"

"I want to share something with you - three sentences that will get you through life:
Number one: 'cover for me.'
Number two: 'Oh, good idea, boss.'
Number three: 'It was like that when I got here.'"

"Now remember, if you ever get into trouble at work, blame the guy that can't speak English. Ahh Teebor, how many times have you saved my butt!"

"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.'"

Bart: "You mean it ain't be noggin, it's me peepers?"

Ralph: "Why do people run from me?" *wets pants*

I could go on and on and on.. :D

[The Cat Factory]

I love The Simpsons and Family Guy! I have all of the Family Guy DVD's and I love to watch the episodes with the Commentary on...


Stewie: There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore.

Peter: Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happend to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard.
Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter: I drift in and out.

Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?
Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.
Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy.
Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire."
Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.
Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible.
[Pause]
Quagmire: Oh god. Oh my god. I've got all these magazines. Oh god.

[kingrattus]

Homer: sung to the Flintstones song; Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history. From the, Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree! hits tree

Homer: Is this episode going on the air live?
June Velany: No Homer, very few cartoons are broadcast live. It's a terrible strain on the animator's wrist.

Homer: Please, turn me back into the blissful boob I was.
Scientist: Sorry, we don't play god here.
Homer: Huh? You do nothing but play god! And I think your octo-parrot would agree with me.
Octo-Parrot: Awk! Polly shouldn't be!

Homer: I offer you the guidance of my daughter, Sacagawea. In our language, that means "know-it-all who never shuts her maize-hole".

Homer: Now, before I abandon you in this cornfield, does anyone remember the way home?
Homer clone: I do.
Homer shoots the clone.
Homer: Anybody else?
Another clone raises his hand. Homer shoots him.
Homer: Anybody else? Come on. Come on.
Another clone raises his hand ang gets shot.
Homer: Okay, everybody out.

[kingrattus]

SOME BLACKBOARD QUOTES


I will not torment the emotionally frail
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
I will not spin the turtle
This punishment is not boring and pointless
I will not yell "She's dead" during roll call
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
I no longer want my MTV
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
Sherri does not "got back"
I have neither been there nor done that
I will stop phoning it in
Substitute teachers are not scabs
My suspension was not "mutual"
A belch is not an oral report
I will not waste chalk
"Non-Flammable" is not a challenge
I will not surprise the incontinent
The nurse is not dealing
Science class should not end in tragedy
Network TV is not dead
"Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap
I will not scare the Vice President
Nobody reads these anymore
The giving tree is not a chump
This school does not need a "regime change"
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive

[kingrattus]

For all of u who know this character should know that his RL wife killed him. I miss this character & that Radio show he was on.



Hi I'm "TROY McCLURE"; Quotes

Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off
Gladys the Groovy Mule
Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die
Lead Paint, Delicious but Deadly
Here Comes the Metric System
Dig Your Own Grave and Save!
Dial M for Murderousness
Alice's Adventure through the Windshield Glass
P is for Psycho
The President's Neck is Missing!
Out with Gout '88
Get Confident, Stupid!
The Boat-jacking of Skyship '79
Good Time Slim, Uncle Doobie and the Great Frisco Freakout
Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun
Five Fabulous Weeks of the Chevy Chase Show
The Greatest Story Ever Hula-ed
Locker Room Towel Fight: The Blinding of Harry Driscoll
The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Huffengal
Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp

[BitsyNaceyDog]

Quagmire: "oooh rriiiiiiight"

Stewie: victory is mine"

Stewie: "no sprinkles, for every sprinkle i find, i shall KILL you."

Peter: "Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?"
Brian: "That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible."
Peter: "Wrong, the ugly one! "

and the best-
Stewie: "What the hell is this?"
Lois: "Sweetie, that's tuna salad."
Stewie: "Oh, is that what it is? Really? Because I could have sworn it was mayonnaise and cat food."

[smokey the elder]

Stewie is such an evil little football-headed kid!:D

[PJ's Mom]

I love Family Guy and I'm so glad it's coming back next year!


Brian: Uh, how was your shower?
Peter: Oh, I tell ya Brian, all the rumors about dropping the soap are true.
Brian: Really?
Peter: Oh yeah, you can't hold onto that thing to save your life. Oh, it was slipping all
over the place. Guys were laughing.



Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bi***.


Stewie: Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.


Stewie (picking his nose): Does this not disgust you?
Brian: Kid, you're talkin' to a guy who uses his tongue for toilet paper.

:D