Feeling pretty rotten right now

[LorraineO]

Well,, after all this excitment over Rose,,,, girls,, I dont feel the connection .... you know that feeling you get when you see the right one? I thought I had it,,, I dont,,, now I feel terrible... REALLLLY terrible,,,,
Am I such a bad person for not having that feeling???:( :( :( :(

what do I do now??? We havent adopted her yet.. this is just a overnighter,,, Oh man,,,,

**Lorraine slinks off into a corner***

[Uabassoon]

I think you should give it some time. When I first agreed to take in Corkscrew, I did not like him at all and I couldn't believe that I agreed to take him in. Now I couldn't image my life without him and he turned out to be the most amazing thing to ever come into my life.

[kingrattus]

Like Uabassoon said, give it some time. The dog isn't acting her normal self yet & just might be shy & not knowing that u want her, so shes not getting too close.

Just try to be her friend for the weekend & the true Rose may comeout & u just might like that Rose.

[LorraineO]

It sounds so stupid,, but its the hair thats overwhelmed me too,, We took her to the groomers just to look at her,, no time for anything else,, and she is apparantly LOADED with excess hair,,, I good grooming and bath should take care of most of it she says,,,

Maybe I am just scared........ of having 2 dogs... never done this before.....

Uabassoon... kingrattus ,, thank you for your support.... I posted her newest pic on an the other thread called Rose is here today.

[chocolatepuppy]

Lorianne, I agree with the others, give Rose some time. As for the hair, maybe once you have been brushing her regularly it won't seem so bad. I've always had long haired dogs until Lacey. But then came Mandy, the one with the coat of a golden in the summer and the hair of a newfie in the winter and well ya just adjust. With regular brushings it's not that bad. When Mandy sheds woo hoo but it's only for awhile. I personally don't let hair bother me because I figure when you die you aren't taking anything with you, like that clean sofa, clean carpet, but your soul will take the love of your dogs with it. But everyone's different.

[dukedogsmom]

Chocolatepuppy, great way to think about the hair! I just didn't know what to say. Don't give up on her. I'm sure she and you will adjust just fine.

[kingrattus]

I saw that thread bbefore this one, she is a cuttie.

Don't worry about the hair, if u brush her once a day for 20 mins, it'll be all good. Also remember when dogs r scared or nervuse (sp) they shed like MAD!!!

Max was a moncho dog & hardly ever shed at all so brushing him was pointless, so we vacuumed him insted :) But when we would take him to a strangers home, we swore he was gonna go bald!!! The hair just wouldn't stop falling off of him.

See if u can foster her for a couple of weeks (just say u want to see if her & ur dog really can stand eachother on a day to day bases).

My old shelter did that. They also gave out "some" dogs for xmas. But only to young couples or single adults who want a friend for xmas. or if the person seemed to be a good person, but the dogs only went as a tryout. Except for this one dog. I'll share the story cause I was the one who found her a great home.

The young man & his girlfriend had just baught a house in the country. & were looking for a nice doggy to add to it.

I showed them around & none of the dogs were right for them. I told them there was 1 more dog, but shes very shy & scared right now. I told them that I personally knew nothing of the dog, but found away to get the dog to come to me without force.

I told them to copy me, & they did. I sat on my feet & did puppy calls & used an excited high pitched voice. She popped her head out of the doggy house & dragged herself over to me (she wasn't hurt, just scared).

I said watch me. She would lay about 5 feet infront of me & drop her body & lay on her back. I crawled up to her on my hands & knees & geve her a tummy rum & she started to give me kisses.

The couple did the same thing as me & she gave them both kisses to. But the second u stand up, she runs away into her doggy house scared again.

They said they wanted her & wanted to give her a scared free home. The shelter manager said come back in a week to let us know if u like her. They came back the next day. I was so upset cause they had her with them.

But they said we want her now. They said after a couple of hours of crawling around on the floor She was no longer scared of them & she was running around their home getting into things like a doggy should & they took her to a groomers (she was FLITHY) & bought her the cuttest bandana, a hat, a new collar & a new matching leash. The owner said they don't addopt dogs out at xmas time, but in her case he saw just how happy she finally was & said shes urs :)



So give ur new doggy a chance, she'll show her true collours in a few days :)

[LorraineO]

you ladies are the best,,,, I will sleep on it,, she has to go back to her foster mommy tomorrow at 3,,, already arranged and all...

I will still think,, I hope ono one is rolling thier eyes at my hair issue,,,, it sounds soooo dumb when youre not here and all,, but this is really a new territory for me... and get this,, my couch is black,,, :D and rose is a blonde rust color.... what a combo....

i posted this pic on the rose is here thread,, but I will post it here too.. Hubby took it today...

[kingrattus]

I'll solve ur couch problem right now.

Go buy a little love seat at a yard sale, doesn't matter the colour at all!! This is why. Go buy a bed sheet that matches ur room & only let her up on that love seat. Kick her off of ur couch & bring her to her couch & praise her to death on it.

Here was RB Max's 9 year old couch. It did look new several years before we got him (the couch was over 20 years old)
http://jess.iahu.ca/max/albums/album07/MAX4TH12.jpg

This was RB Max's chair after we tossed his 9 yr old couch out (we didn't always do the blanket thing cause we never really used that couch, so we just gave it to him & never cleaned it (not recomended, do clean it hehe or its get gross & smelly)..
http://jess.iahu.ca/max/albums/album04/IMG_0258.sized.jpg

I know the chair look sthe same, but its not. This was the chair Max had at moms house
http://jess.iahu.ca/max/albums/album08/Max.jpg

& this was the love seat Max also had at moms house incase he wanted to strech out.
http://jess.iahu.ca/max/albums/album08/max_at_moms_5.jpg

[Glacier]

Give her some time--how does your other dog feel about her?

If it's just the hair, get her groomed and bathed. If you keep up with the brushing, it won't seem so bad. Trust me you get used to it! I have lint brushes scattered throughout my house, office and truck! Also remember that she is likely still blowing off some of last winter's coat. My huskies look a little mangy right now, but once the cold weather comes they won't shed much til spring.

But if it truly doesn't feel right to you--take her back before you adopt her! She has a nice foster home and is safe there. If she's not the dog for you, she will be for someone else. Not fair to any of you to keep her if you don't truly want her.

[LorraineO]

Glacier,,,

Dont think I truly dont want her,, just was and still sort freaked about the hair,,, BUT,,,, We will take her to the groomers,, have her bathed and brushed,,, the lady said today she was loaded with hair,,, couldnt get over it!!! I will hold onto that thought.. she is truly a sweet dog,,,, hubby and my son just took both dogs out for a walk,,,

The two of them (the dogs) played together today,,, they like eachother... for sure,,, Lucy is a bit confused as to why there is another dog here and all,, but hey..... Maybe both of us will adapt...... eventually..:)

Again,,, I Really appreciate the words and advice,, experiences etc.... its helped alot......

BTW,,,, the groomer figures she is most likely 90% cattledog.....

[Smilla]

LorraineO, kudos for you for being so honest. Frankly, I didn't feel a connection with Lefty right away either. It actually took a couple of weeks for me, and there were times when I was afraid we hadn't done the right thing. (Though since we'd already made the step, I was going to see it through. I believed we really were Lefty's last chance.) Luckily, things have worked out. Just a half hour ago my husband and I were saying we couldn't imagine life without him. He's got his flaws, but he's part of our family now and we're happy that that's the case.

You haven't gotten to the "point of no return." You have time to change your mind if you feel it's the right thing to do. Is there any way you could keep her for a little longer, if tomorrow arrives and you're still not sure?

[LorraineO]

Well,, what we will do I think,,so far,, is keep her tonight as planned,,, she has to go back with foster mom tomorrow,,, this will give me sunday night, monday and tuesday and then the vet visit to decide... We can also ask foster mom if we can try keeping her for 2 or 3 days after that before signing any papers.....

I guess we could go ahead with the grooming anyways,, no matter what we decide,,,,whats a mere $40 to 50 ontop of the almost $200 we have spent already on a crate, dog sish collar ID tag and dish mat,, comb from the groomer and this funky sponge cleaning thingy,, removes hair from most stuff with relative ease!!!?

I think this grooming and good cleaning just might turn me over .... This is also my first really what I would call a long haired dog,,, its all new to me,, I get a bit frazzled with new.....

she is sweet.... really,, and I still do really want to give her the home I know she deserves... if you only saw the pics I have of her when she was found,,, its so,,, sad.

[Samantha Puppy]

I felt the same way after we took in Lila earlier this summer. I didn't give it that much time, because Samantha's demeanor changed, so five days later we gave her back. There is not a day goes by that I don't regret it... but it's too late now. Lila's been adopted by another family, so she can never be "mine".

Please don't give up so soon like I did. You *will* regret it.

[Shelteez2]

It took me a long time to truly bond with Clipse. I like him yes, but to really feel a connection.......? Now I can't imagine life without him.

As for the grooming I would get her professionally groomed and then to keep up with it I would get a zoom groom. A zoom groom will be your best friend. It really makes the hair fly and you can use it on your dobe as well.
Do you know what kind of food she has been getting? Changing her diet may help with the hair as well.

No matter what anyone here says though just go with your heart, you have to live with her afterall.

Good luck in your decision!

[micki76]

Originally posted by Shelteez2
As for the grooming I would get her professionally groomed and then to keep up with it I would get a zoom groom. A zoom groom will be your best friend. It really makes the hair fly and you can use it on your dobe as well.

So true! We have two zoom grooms. Best thing ever invented, IMO. ;) We use one on them dry and one in the bath tub when we're bathing them.


Originally posted by LorraineO
I think this grooming and good cleaning just might turn me over .... This is also my first really what I would call a long haired dog,,, its all new to me,, I get a bit frazzled with new.....

Lorraine, I get freaked out by change too. I hate the stress that comes from change, and the time that it takes me to adapt to all of it. To me, it should happen faster, but life doesn't happen in "Micki time" as my husband calls it.

Give it a bit of time for the "dust to settle" and see how you feel. If you still feel it's not right, then it probably isn't. Just don't jump the gun out of your fears. You might miss out on a once in a lifetime. :)

[Harmanie]

perhaps you should give her a chance ya know. Maybe you will get that connection. I mean if you thought it was there, maybe it is. Maybe you gatta find it ya know??
{{{hugs}}}

[anna_66]

Well I was just wondering how things went last night ans so far this morning with Rose. She is a gorgeous girl!
I totally understand about the hair and all and as everyone has said a good grooming and daily brushing will really take care of most of that. But that being said, don't just keep her because you feel guily. It wouldn't be fair to her or to you.
Whatever your decision, we'll stand behind you:)

[LorraineO]

Taking HUGE breath here.....

We have decided that we wont keep her... I just cant pretend to feel what I dont feel... With every dog I have owned,, I have had an instant connection,,, with rose,, I dont. My son feels the same way.... My hubby likes her just as we all do,, but *ITS* just not happening...

she does indeed deserve a home that can give her the total love she so richly deserves.. I cant provide that fully. My heart isnt there. shes a lovely dog,, perfect for someone,, just not us.

Now if youll all excuse me.. I think I will go wallow in th guilt I cant seem to shake..... :( :( :(

Thank you,,, You just have no idea of just how much all of your thoughts and inputs have meant to me.... thank you a million times.

[Albea]

If the long coat is a problem, try this:
Dual Action Undercoat Rake
I just bought one at Foster and Smith and is terrific ( I doubt very much any dog can shed as much as a Golden) It's easy to clean and comfortable to handle. It 's sold for $ 7.99 through the catalog, but if you have a pet supply store near by they might carry it.
Also, dogs can adapt quickly to new environments, but depending on her past, Rose may take a bit longer. Give both of you some time.
Good luck.
Doctors Foster and Smith (http://drsfosterandsmith.com)

[LorraineO]

Originally posted by Albea
If the long coat is a problem, try this:
Dual Action Undercoat Rake
I just bought one at Foster and Smith and is terrific ( I doubt very much any dog can shed as much as a Golden) It's easy to clean and comfortable to handle. It 's sold for $ 7.99 through the catalog, but if you have a pet supply store near by they might carry it.
Also, dogs can adapt quickly to new environments, but depending on her past, Rose may take a bit longer. Give both of you some time.
Good luck.
Doctors Foster and Smith (http://drsfosterandsmith.com)

the hair is a problem for me,, but not the deciding problem. I just dont feel what I should feel.... thats the bottom line.

[lute]

LorraineO, i'm terribly sorry it didn't work out. i bet you'll find the right dog soon.

[caseysmom]

Now that you have made your decision I can say that I have also felt an instant bond with my dogs, maybe it has something to do with the fact that you already have one I don't know. You did what you felt was best don't feel bad, she is with a rescue they will find her a loving home.

[Kfamr]

It's really too bad you guys aren't keeping her.
Do you plan on looking for another dog? Maybe this time you could just visit shelters and all and wait til one just grabs all of your hearts and fits in with what you want.


I don't mean to sound rude if at all, but I truely hope that Rose find a family that will give her more time. :)

[LorraineO]

Originally posted by Kfamr
It's really too bad you guys aren't keeping her.
Do you plan on looking for another dog? Maybe this time you could just visit shelters and all and wait til one just grabs all of your hearts and fits in with what you want.


I don't mean to sound rude if at all, but I truely hope that Rose find a family that will give her more time. :)

no,, it doesnt sound rude,, we had enuff tine to know for sure that it wasnt gonna happen,, thats why we had an overnight visit arranged before signing any papers and all.. We thought that was the most responsible thing to do.

for now,, I dont feel very good emotionally so I wont be looking at any dogs,,,, for a while anyways. despite what you might think,,, it was very hard on me personally to have to say no to thisadoption,, I honestly thought it felt right... but in the end,, it want. I didnt enter this lightly is what I mean.

[DogLover9501]

I think you made a good decision, especially since you made it based on(mostly) what is best for Rose.

I know exactly what you mean though.

I didn't have a chance to connect with Jasper right away, as he was in another province(your province :p), I watched him get bottle fed on webcam, and watched him playing with a bullmastiff, and chasing other dogs, all on webcam, and I was in love with him just with those little daily videos of him growing! But it was SO hard not to be able to reach in and grab him :D

I agree with Kay, you should just go shearch the shelters/rescues..etc, I have decided to do the same with my next dog, instead of another breeder like I was going to do.

Im sure you'll find a dog perfect for you :)

[Tonya]

Originally posted by Kfamr
I don't mean to sound rude if at all, but I truely hope that Rose find a family that will give her more time. :)

It is kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. Look how much time and effort Foam gave Ozzy, and it was heartbreaking for her to give him up. (PLEASE don't start a debate on that.)

It may be more painful and confusing for Rose if she's at Lorraine's for a while and then suddenly rehomed at a foster home again. I think if someone isn't going to keep a dog, the sooner the better for the decision making.

Lorraine, I respect your decision. I am confident that Rose will find a wonderful home. She is to sweet and beautiful not to. Getting a new dog is a huge commitment and you are stuck with it for many years. You have to find an animal that works right for you.

[LorraineO]

thank you Tonya for your words andsupport,, I am very happy to know you saw our point of view on this very painful experience....

Trust me,, I shed a tear or two,,, but how else does one learn .....

Rose will indeed fine her perfect forever home.

[lovemyshiba]

That's too bad.
I'm glad you did decide to take her for a "test drive" first.
That's what we did with Abbey. We only had Kito, and wanted to get him a friend (yeah, right). We took her on a Friday, and were to report in with the rescue on Sunday. It was hard at first, and I'm glad we had the weekend to decide, because based on initial reactions, I'm not sure if she would be here now:)

I'm sure you did what was best for her and your family.

[anna_66]

Well of course I'm sorry to hear that you won't be keeping her because I know how much you wanted her to "fit" into your family. Sometimes it's just not right. Don't wallow in th guilt, this girl obviously just wasn't meant to be with you if no one else felt the connection either. I'm sure she'll find a great forever home!

[Smilla]

Lorraine,

I know it was hard to make the decision you did, and no matter what anyone says, I'm sure it will be hard for you NOT to feel guilty. I'm sure Rose will find her fit--she's a gorgeous girl. I think it's great that you put so much thought into this, and I hope you can feel better about your decision soon.

S