How do you want your funeral?

[Tonya]

I hope this thread isn't to depressing. To me it isn't because I believe there is a better place. After going through my grandfather's death and Mike's cousin's this year, I am realizing how important it is to let your loved ones know what your wishes are. It is really overwhelming when family is grieving to try and figure anything out.

We were talking about this after Guy's funeral yesterday, and sharing our wishes. I said that I just want to be cremated and the money to be donated to an animal shelter in lieu of flowers. I said that they can either throw a big happy party or donate some time to a shelter. Everyone (except my MIL who is an animal lover) burst into laughter. They thought I was joking. :rolleyes:

[catnapper]

Well, first off, everyone knows that I want every usable organ to be donanted to another human in need. I don;t know about cremation vs. burial. I guess I'd leave that up to the remaining family.. whatever would make them come to terms best. Would they feel better burying a casket or scattering my ashes somewhere they thing I'd be happy? I do know that if they had a casket I do NOT want an open casket. A huge family fight happened when my grandmom died. It was her last wish to have a closed casket and my uncle ignred it and made the funeral home have an open casket viewing.

I want a huge party CELEBRATING my life afterwards. I don't want people sitting around bawling their eyes out I want them to laugh and tak about how their lives were touched by me. Tell funny stories of the dumb things I've done (I'm an airhead who means well, so I tend to do some really air-headed things.) I want them to talk about those things and walk away with happy memories instead of sad ones. That is also why I don't want an open casket... because I don't want their last memory of me to be one of a waxen looking body in a casket.. I want them to remember me as a lively vital person.

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

Originally posted by catnapper
That is also why I don't want an open casket... because I don't want their last memory of me to be one of a waxen looking body in a casket.. I want them to remember me as a lively vital person.

Very good point. We were with hubby's Granny when she passed. Having emigrated at a young age, she was like my granny too, and I was deeply upset by her passing. But worst was having seen her all wrapped up in preparation for being taken to the funeral home. I would rather have had a happier "last picture" in my head.

I argue with hubby re organ donation. I want every useful part of my body to be used to improve or save another life. He is concerned that it will influence the amount of effort put into saving me, if the doctors are aware that I have authorised multiple transplants.:confused:

I want to be cremated, and have my ashes scattered at St Andrews in Scotland. I agree with Tonya that I would prefer donations to an animal welfare organisation instead of flowers.

BTW my MIL has a pace-maker and she made my SIL (who is ALMOST a doctor - 5th year medical student) promise to take the pacemaker out when she dies - she is terrified it will start up and she will wake up in a coffin:eek: :eek: :eek:

[Tonya]

Yeah! I forgot a few things. I want my organs donated. BUT I don't want doctors to know about it until after they know they can't save me. I have heard stories about how they don't try as hard if they know you are a donor. AND, if for some reason, my family just must have a casket, it'd better be closed casket or I'll come back and haunt them!

[sirrahved]

I don't really care what my relatives do with me. It's their money now. I won't be there. What ever they do they do for themselves.

Jason wants his head cut off and to have a giant cold cut and veggie spread in place of his body :rolleyes:

[sammy101]

Well i dont really want to think about that now.Im still yound.I will be 14 in September and have a long way to go as long as i stay healthy!!:rolleyes: but i dont think that i want an open casket.

[sirrahbed]

Originally posted by sirrahved
I don't really care what my relatives do with me. It's their money now. I won't be there. What ever they do they do for themselves.

Jason wants his head cut off and to have a giant cold cut and veggie spread in place of his body :rolleyes:

I *hope* you are joking as that is pretty gross:rolleyes:

In our denomination (Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod), at least where we belonged, there is no open casket because we do not believe the person is any longer there. Some people may have a viewing but I have never known of one. There are also no flowers. The "funeral" is a rather comforting and joyous occasion and is referred to as a "coronation' since we know that the believer has gone to eternal life and the funeral is to celebrate that fact. My hubby and I do not want a funeral however - simply a graveside burial that will already be paid in advance so nobody has to think about planning or be stuck with the cost. We will have vaults (so the ground does not cave in) because they are required by law but only wooden non pressure sealed boxes.

[Freckles]

Originally posted by catnapper
Would they feel better burying a casket or scattering my ashes somewhere they think I'd be happy?
A third option is cremation with burial. That's what my parents chose.

[tatsxxx11]

How do you want your funeral?

Later rather than sooner!;)

[Desert Arabian]

I would want my funeral to be held in the largest pasture on my horse farm (if I owned one at the time) and I would want all my horses and other animals there and I would want to be burried in that horse pasture under a large tree.

[Corinna]

I'm in agreement with a lot of you. My mom and I want a jazz funeral . Donate organs, cremate, then have a huge happy party . Mom wants to be scattered in her rose bed. I want to have mine sent to the Tillimock light house . The have a place to put a plaque in your honor and once a month they scatter the ashes into the Pacific ocean from the light house. Or you can have them inturned there. I want to be scattered. I love the whales and ocean life.

[Miss Meow]

I'm happy for my organs to be donated after I leave this earth. I'm a bit funny about donating my eyes for some reason, even though I probably won't need them where I'm going ;)

I remember someone in the media dying last year and his organs saved 18 lives - that's an amazing gift to give.

I think surgeons try hard to save people regardless of whether they're organ donors or not. If they allow you to die in order to harvest your organs, the remaining family will probably sue their asses off and there's no guarantee your organs will be a match to anybody on recipient lists anyway.

I'd also like to be cremated with a small headstone where my mother's parents are buried. It's a lovely, really small community cemetery.

My will already has Shane and then my parents as the main beneficiaries so that's all taken care of, but I want to add a clause so any pets I have will be cared for. I think Randi and I have spoken about this after a similar thread :)

[K9karen]

I'm serious...I want a Jewish Wake (probably the 1st ever)..lots of partying, clinking of glasses, funny stories, donations to Animal Sanctuaries and if the docs can find something that still works by then, some poor soul can have it and I hope it brings them health and happiness.
And I want to wear jeans and a tank top to be comfortable, not some fancy gown which I would never ever wear anyway. I'm gonna party where I'm going (I hope) anyway!

[micki76]

I *want* to be cremated and have my ashes mixed with all my pets who've gone before me, and then I want us scattered someplace lovely. :)

My husband wants me to be buried next to him. If I allow him to bury me (which I probably will), I must be buried with all my pets that have gone before me. I want them in the coffin with me. :) In Texas you can have your pets buried with you, but you must state that you want that done in your will. It's in mine. :)

NO FUNERAL. NONE. To me, it's a waste of money. It would only make me mad if they have a funeral.

[carole]

Tonya what an excellent thread, I don't find it morbid or depressing but rather practical.

I have only been to three funerals in my life-time so far, and each time I have written down things I particularly liked at that funeral, for my own funeral, of course I have made it well known that these instructions are to be followed to the best of their ability and finances.

I am going to be cre-mated, I have been to both burials and cremation and find burials a whole lot more sad and stressful for the family.

I have left directions down to the flowers I wish for , the colour of the hearse, the music to be played at the after get-together , which will suprise some people, the prayers and hyms, which will be kept to a minimum.

And of course there will be a scottish piper, to pipe people into the proceedings, I keep making changes to my preferences with every funeral I attend, and keep it updated, thankfully I have not been to many, and hope not to go to many more.

I do however wish my husband, and my parents would make their wishes known to me, it takes a lot of stress and organising off an already difficult time, and my beliefs are well you cannot always have want you wanted in life, so at least maybe you can in death.

P.S i wish to add I never ever want my casket to be open and have myself viewed, that would be so awful, I would probably rise from the Dead it would upset me so much, no kiddin, and also I want donations to the neurological foundation and of course animal welfare, and cancer society rather than flowers,most important.

I like you ally want my ashes scattered over my place of birth Ellon Scotland, one day I will make it over there lol., one way or another.

[BitsyNaceyDog]

I've never given it much thought. The only thing I know it that I want to be buried, not cremated. Reason being is ever since I was little I have had nightmares about fire and even tho I will be dead, I don't want to be burned.
Oh, and I defiantly want anything and everything that can be to be donated.

[anna_66]

I said that I just want to be cremated and the money to be donated to an animal shelter in lieu of flowers.
This is exactly what I want done Tonya. And if any of my organs can be used I will donate them.
And I don't want any type of funeral sad kinda thing (I hate everyone crying and being sad, it hurts the heart so much). I want everyone to get together and share pictures and stories about the good times we've had.

I'm happy to have such a wonderrful husband who says he will honor my wishes:)

[Rachel]

I have also opted for cremation and having my ashes mixed with those of my deceased pets. Any donations in my memory should be made to Hearts United for Animals or a shelter of the donor's chosing. Really I don't care for any kind of memorial service either. Just remember me kindly.

[carole]

I have mentioned this before, but when my husbands mother died, she was lying in state at her home,(that part i did not really like ) for a few days, all the family, grandkids, including my daughter were down there decorating her coffin, it was bright blue, as she was a music teacher, of course there were lots of things relating to that, we could all write messages inside the coffin, which I did.

It was the most unusal thing I have ever seen, all while granny was lying there, :eek: but it seemed to be very good for the children, it was my daughters first experience of death, she was nine years old at the time, and when our cat Sooti died, she did exactly the same thing for him, made a coffin out of a box and decorated it with messages inside and out from us all.

Granny was a very eccentric old lady, and she would have been thrilled to bits if she knew, that all her family did this for her.

[petlover]

I want to be burried in my most loved place... When we move there is going to be a huge tree in the main beautiful pasture where the horses would mainly graze, and where the old owner's dog would lay and watch the cows. I have been to my new home so many times that I have grown to love that place. But, I know it would be great to have the animals there.. But I really don't want them there. I want all of them to have already passed on. That way I will have all of them to look forward to, and they won't go through the sorrow and sadness of not having me there. I just could not put them through that. Getting old and still having animals would only make me scared to pass on without them. If they have already passed I can only think of the happiness of seeing them again.

[Pam]

Originally posted by tatsxxx11


Later rather than sooner!;)

LOL! Me too Sandra! :)

You will all probably think this weird and I do too, but my mother-in-law always takes pictures of people in their caskets at the viewing. When I first observed this about 30 years ago it made my skin crawl. Now we have all seen her do it so often it almost seems "normal." The last person to be photographed in such a way was her husband, my father-in-law, this past March. Nowadays the grandchildren simply say "oh here comes Grandmother with her camera." :rolleyes: I hope she goes ahead of me because I don't want her taking pictures of me!

[cubby31682]

I refuse to donate organs due to a very bad past experience. I would also like to be cremated, and I would like for my ashes to be spead through out the pacific ocean so I could be with dolphins.

[teenster3]

This is a difficult thread to answer & hard to think about for my own family members.
My grandma (who is sick) has asked us not to put her on any sort of life support. She said she is not scared to die & would like her last days to be peaceful when the time comes. So far she has been ok but, if & when the time comes to get her brain tumor out we are all hoping for the best!
My dad also is sick with prostate cancer but says he'll beat it & be around for many years to come but also does not want any life support.
As for what my mom, dad, & grandma want: they want to be cremated.
My dad's ashes will be spread across a beautiful golf course.
Not sure about my grandma & mom.
I too would like to be cremated & spread in the ocean with the dolphins.
My husband however would like to be buried. He can't stand the thought of being on fire!:rolleyes:
I can't come to terms with wanting to donate organs.
I had this discussion with my dad once & he said "if they were to go to a good person" than that's fine but, it either seems to go to someone that has loads of money 1st or some evil criminal that doesn't even deserve to be around. I know there have been success stories as well but, this is just how I personally feel about it!
I used to think I had "no fear" of dying but now I'm not so sure. I always wonder....what EXACTLY IS GOING TO HAPPEN when we die?
Tina B.

[Aspen and Misty]

Micki - I think that you having your pet cremated and then burried with you is beautiful thing, this has now become my wish thanx to you (hope you don't mind me useing your idea!).

Just a little storie to all you organ donars-

My brother broke his arm, for a second time, in a bad car crash when he was 16 or 17. One of his bones completly broke and they had to remove it. They used bone's from someone else to re-make that bone that he lost. I just want to thank you all who are going to donate, without you who knows where my brother and his arm would be today, you truly are a blessing.

Ashley

[MariaM]

I am also donating my 'parts' to research..and then I guess I'm going to have the rest of me cremated. No plans other than that..yet..

[CathyBogart]

I want every bit of me that anyone could use to go to them, and I want my friends to celebrate my life, not mourn my passing. :)

[neko1]

Originally posted by Pam

You will all probably think this weird and I do too, but my mother-in-law always takes pictures of people in their caskets at the viewing. When I first observed this about 30 years ago it made my skin crawl. Now we have all seen her do it so often it almost seems "normal." The last person to be photographed in such a way was her husband, my father-in-law, this past March. Nowadays the grandchildren simply say "oh here comes Grandmother with her camera." :rolleyes: I hope she goes ahead of me because I don't want her taking pictures of me!


Yeh and think about the poor soul at the photo store who has to process those pictures.....

I worked at motophoto for 2 years, we processesed each picture individually for color, brightness...etc..and those pictures would always creep me out....those and the naked people....but that's a different topic;)

[DJFyrewolf36]

Originally posted by sirrahbed


In our denomination (Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod), at least where we belonged, there is no open casket because we do not believe the person is any longer there. Some people may have a viewing but I have never known of one. There are also no flowers. The "funeral" is a rather comforting and joyous occasion and is referred to as a "coronation' since we know that the believer has gone to eternal life and the funeral is to celebrate that fact. My hubby and I do not want a funeral however - simply a graveside burial that will already be paid in advance so nobody has to think about planning or be stuck with the cost. We will have vaults (so the ground does not cave in) because they are required by law but only wooden non pressure sealed boxes.

I was taught the same things. I myself would rather have people have a good time instead of them being sad. I dislike it very much when people are sad and try really hard to make people well...not sad lol. I'd want people to rember that and all the goofy stuff I've done and in general get a good laugh. I've been to too many sad, teary funerals and I wouldn't want to put that burden on to anyone else.

[lizzielou742]

I'll have my organs donated, then I'd like to be buried / cremated and be placed under a beautiful tree somewhere...where depends on where I end up.

[Samantha Puppy]

I am petrified of dying, so I try not to think about it too much anymore. Of course, during my "darker" times I did and this is what I figured out (plus one revision):

If any of my organs are good, I'd like them donated.
I want a wooden casket.
I want the flowers to be medium pink and white roses.
I want my favorite hymns played at the funeral ceremony.
I want people to cry like crazy.
I want to be placed in a private mausoleum big enough for my casket and my husband's (you know, one of those little above ground mini-"house" looking things that they used to have all the time).

And within the last two years, I've decided I want Samantha's ashes to be placed in my casket with me (in an urn).

But most of all, I just REEEEEEEEEEEEALLY don't want to die. The thought of it terrifies me.

[cloverfdx]

I want all organs that are able to be donated to be going to a good cause, and then i want to be cremated and then scattered with the ashes of all of my pets "Kids" somewhere special to us all. (I dont want to be stuck in a wooden box under 6 foot of dirt *Shudders*)

I too dont want people sitting around crying i would love for them to remember the good times and celerbrate life. :)

[robinh]

I've already purchased plots for Dick and I near my dad's family. Sounds kind of morbid, but I feel better knowing my son won't have to make that decision. If I don't get it pre-taken care of, I don't care what happens with cremation or burial. Since many of my family have died young, I've talked to Dick (SO) and my son about what I want when the time comes. I'm in great health right now (knock wood) but you just never know. I've signed a donor card for whatever is usable - so that's already taken care of.

[RICHARD]

I want to be stuffed, dressed like an Indian with a fistful of cigars and placed in front of a cigarette store in Baker, California.

[cloverfdx]

Do you have a serious bone in your body Richard??? :confused: j/w

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by cloverfdx
Do you have a serious bone in your body Richard??? :confused: j/w


Actually, you don't want to see my serious side.

1. Funerals are for the living. I could be left by the roadside in Georgia. It won't hurt me one bit. I'm dead.

2. What good does it do to be buried in the dirt? Aside from donating organs, you have no more purpose in life.

3. My friends could stop by for a smoke and a visit while they are on their way out to Vegas.

4. I'll keep a taxidermist busy for a few weeks.

5. My childhood friends always wanted to be the 'cowboys' while we played CBs and Indians-I'll still be playing an Indian.

6. Desert sunsets!

7. I have always wanted to have my picture on a nickle.

8. Have you ever worn anything made out of buckskin??

9. Imagine all the people that will talk about you!
"Mom, is that a 'real" Indian??

10. I love Baker, http://www.virtualguidebooks.com/SouthCalif/SouthernDeserts/KelbakerRoad/BakerStreetBaker.html



;)

[cloverfdx]

Ah i see ;).


8. Have you ever worn anything made out of buckskin??
Nope cannot say i have.