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emily_the_spoiled
08-16-2004, 12:10 PM
Over the last year I had been fostering (through a military foster program) Bigodinho on and off for a number of months and grew to love him very much. Last Monday (August 9) he passed over the RB due to liver failure :( :(

I feel really bad about him and am very sorry that he suffered, but I am feeling very attacked by the soldier's mother. Over the months she wanted to know if I knew anyone who wanted to take two older cats. She also spent alot of time out of the country and I took care of them. Unfortunately the last time she was gone he came to me with an undiagnosed UTI and wasn't eating. I waited too long to take him to the vet and he developed hepatic lipidosis due to anorexia. She wrote the following message to me:

"He developed a condition called Hepatic Lipidosis which is caused by prolonged anorexia. Those 35 days back in May-June were determinant to cause this disease and consequently his death. I just wish you had called me in Brazil to discuss his health care needs. The clinical assessment done back on June 12 was too late and not appropriate at all."

Now she is more concerned about the money that she is out rather than the loss of a wonderful companion :mad:

This is the last picture I have of him...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v173/cfahlman/definitely_kitty_approved_bigodinho.jpg

May he find peace and friendship at the RB :( :(

AmberLee
08-16-2004, 12:14 PM
Frolic well, dear Bigodinho, at the RB. You were loved and will be missed.

{{{cyberhugs}}} to you, e-t-s, for taking on a difficult fostering situation. So sorry you are being blamed. :(

Cataholic
08-16-2004, 12:48 PM
I am so sorry to hear of Bigodinho passing on to the RB. How very sad. May he be met by all of ours that have gone on too soon.

Please don't take to heart the mother's comments. Perhaps she is grieving, too, just in a way we don't recognize, and is unintentionally taking it out on you. It was a very difficult situation for all to bear.

jenluckenbach
08-16-2004, 03:28 PM
RIP sweet kitty :( You will be missed. :(

People who have suffered loss often say things that are not completely thought out and end up causing hurt feelings. Try to forgive her for blaming you, but from her point of view, it might in some way ease the pain of loss by being able to point a finger at a so-called cause.

Looking after someone else's pet always comes with risk. Thank you for being there for him when his own dad could not.

kuhio98
08-16-2004, 05:12 PM
I'm so sorry for the loss of Bigodinho. I know you all did the best you could. He is much loved and will be missed.

slick
08-16-2004, 05:52 PM
I'm so sorry for the passing of dear Bigodinho. You are not to blame so please don't let her make you feel bad. Everyone else is right; sometimes when we grieve we say things we don't mean. I remember the night my father died, I screamed at the nurses because he was dead for 15 minutes before they noticed him gone. I later apologized and felt horrible about the way I treated them.

Hugs to you. You did the best you could.

emily_the_spoiled
08-16-2004, 08:13 PM
I just feel so bad because he was still a young guy (only 8 yo). I am going to miss him, but I also know that I should have taken him to the vet sooner. Even if I had phoned her in Brazil, she would not have wanted me to take him to the vet (because it cost money). I just wish he didn't have to suffer at the end :( :(

krazyaboutkatz
08-16-2004, 10:47 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about Bigodinho's passing.:( Please don't blame yourself. Now he's painfree and playing happily at Rainbow Bridge. RIP sweet Bigodinho.

Killearn Kitties
08-17-2004, 12:56 AM
I'm so sorry for the loss of Bigodinho. He looked a lovely boy. I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation when you are grieving for him too.
Rest in peace sweetie.

catmandu
08-17-2004, 09:21 AM
What A Big Gorgeous Cat,and now he is a big,Gorgeous Angel.And he knows what you did,for him,and Biogoinnho.apprecaite is,moe than he can say!He was a honored Guest,at The RainbopwBridgeBanquet,and Julia Child,personally created a dish,for Him!

smokey the elder
08-17-2004, 12:32 PM
I'm so sorry about Bigodinho. He'll have lots of company at the RB, though.

ps. I saw a REAL rainbow last night, and thought of all the kitties at the Bridge.

emily_the_spoiled
08-19-2004, 07:27 AM
I am asking for some advice here. This situation has gone from bad to worse. The woman now wants me to pay for 50-75% of Bigodinho's vet bill. I don't know what to do...

I am having a very hard time with the fact that he is gone and this just adds another level to it :(

Tubby & Peanut's Mom
08-19-2004, 08:57 AM
Oh my, I'm just seeing this now and I'm so sorry to hear this news. Bigodinho was a beautiful furball. RIP sweety. :(

As for this soldier's mother, I would tell her how he came to you with an undiagnosed UTI and that certainly contributed to the problem also. If you had called her in Brazil, would she have reimbursed you for the long distance call - I think not. You were in a fostering situation and it is not your fault, so don't let her bully you into anything. And then read her the riot act about how you're devastated over the loss of such a sweety, and how she only cares about the money. I'm wondering what the soldier himself would have to say about all of this.....

It's just so sad that you have to deal with something like this when you're just trying to deal with his death. :(

QueenScoopalot
08-22-2004, 03:36 PM
Please don't blame yourself in any way for Bigodinho's passing. Hepatic lipidosis is one of the toughest things for a cat to overcome. Most don't make it, and those that do usually have to have a stomach tube put in, and it's very time consuming trying to reverse this condition. And please don't let that woman bully you into paying those bills. You did more than your part IMO. RIP Bigodinho. :(