NOOOO! Come Back, Edges!!

[sandragonfly]

too bad the world exists PAIN - why....?

(for whose didn't know I was here, this place before - I came back..because while I was hoping for some "hugs", I remembered "pet talk site". no one in my family understood how dearly I love my furhearts).

I just lost my three month and three weeks old kitten, Edges Tahoe last July, 27th. *8,564,377,210,460th tear coming..* pain...go away, please...!

on 25th of the July, he was not eating his breakfast for first time, (lightly soaked dry food), he was cold..slow. not moving much, or chasing his brat sister who loves to tease him, or able to climb up the cat-tree to be with other several bigger furhearts. just staying so quietly in one position, looking at me, meows..*hold me..please*. I didn't like this at a BIT, I called the vet right away, lucky, an available for us on sunday. we got there in two hours later, even though Edges thought and knew he's not going to make it, he purred loudly ever, even vibrated the vet-room, nudging his head onto me to pick him up a bajillion times, I thought..he must be talking to me, telling me how a great mother I am. I couldn't resist amusing, muscles are so powerful at that time. everything, results came out negative. "I'm not sure what's wrong with him..'no idea'. he's suppose to be at least 100F but he's 96F and he looks, sounds, feels normal. well, take him home and keep him warm..", the vet said. I got him home, made sure he's under my heart, wrapped in his little blanket on my lap, doing homeworks, studying. he began to lick and licking my face when laying down. "hey hey, what's going on, what have gotten into you, Edges??" I didn't know he was saying: *I'm just saying ...good-bye because I just love you!* and the day passed to 26th, he continued licking, purring louder more than ever I could believe..with that VERY little heart, he demanded to be on me and nudging his cold face on my nose.. "whoa, whoa hold on --" *licking from cheek up to my forehead* "-- you need a break and rest!! I know and always will know that you love me, edges!", bringing him down to my chest where I laid on my back/side. jeez, he amazingly purred for another two hours. at around 7PM, I got so tired, (I didn't sleep for two moons) decided to take a nap and passed out. it wasn't a nap...it was a nightmare -- the next thought I thought while half sleeping up at 8AM.."oh wait a min.., my face, nose usually feel this little motored-boat sweetheart but where.." I stretchheeed, yawned..rubbed my eyes, lifted my head a little more, looking around..no needed to look around, before I know it, he was right there..right by above my head. SO cold..pale..stiffy..all gone. and you saw my reaction above..

I wanted to go with him, he was MORE than just a dear kitten..he's something I couldn't ever describe that I will, never, never ever forget him. I wish to cease this painful moment, wish I let him do the more lickings. I still coudn't get over with it, I have already flooded my apartment with my tears.. I don't and never want to understand why he had to go..his vet never understood why, either. I regretted for not saying a goodbye or how much I love him, napping was suppose to be just a couple of hours!

Edges, I'm so sorry if I have ever done something to you.. bathe with you, holding you too much, or whatever pressures I have put on you that have killed you...I wish I knew. wish..wish..wish..*sigh* COME back, please...god. help me get over with this?

*weakly 'hey'*, among the other cats who died on the owners, I have spend hours today reading the "In Memories of" Threads, I wish it's easy to say something right now, but.. I feel you, I'm EXETREMELY sorry - take care.

Edges Tahoe: April 14th 2004 - July 27th 2004

[sandragonfly]

as you can see he was beloved by this dog and all of his friends from our zoosquad -

[sandragonfly]

be well, I'll see you soon!

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm so sorry to hear about Edges passing.:( He sure was a cutie pie and I can tell he was loved very much. It's very sad when one of our furkids leaves us but especially sad when they leave us way too early.:( I can relate because my Pepper left me too early too and I never found out what was wrong with him either.:( RIP sweet little Edges. You'll never be forgotten. Please take care Gina.

[carole]

I was so sad to read about Edges and your pain you are feeling from the loss of this beautiful wee fella, he was simply gorgeous, I know nothing anyone can say will help heal your heart right now, and I just want to send you lots of love and a big hug, to let you know we are thinking of you and sharing your sadness. RIP darling Edges, my RB Sooti and Romeo and Rusty are all there waiting to show you the ropes sweet furbaby.

[Soledad]

This is so sad and so unfair. What a little sweetie he was. You were so lucky to have him, no matter for how short a time it was. I know that feeling you're describing, that connection you can have with an animal that goes being description. I have it with my Boo. When he goes I won't know what to do with myself. Please, Gina, don't blame yourself. You were a great mommy.

[NoahsMommy]

Gosh, I'm so sorry about Edges. :( :( :( I wish we could say something, anything, to make you feel a bit better.

I'm sorry. :(

Please take care and know it wasn't your fault. You did all you could for your sweet little angel.

[slick]

I know there is nothing I can say to take away the pain, but please try to take comfort in knowing that Edges is now happy and healthy at the RB and will grow up to be a very handsome Tuxie. You are an angel for loving him so much and now Edges has his own set of angel wings.

Hugs to you and please stick around. We can continue to offer an endless supply of love and support.

[gini]

Oh, he was so adorable. I am so sorry that you have lost him in this life, but I think Slick is correct.

You have your very own furry angel that is in full health looking down on you and remembering just how much you loved him.

[RedHedd]

RIP sweet little Edges who was taken from us way too soon. I guess God needed another little kitten angel. Play hard at the RB and say hi to my RB Goldie.

[Karen]

Oh Edges, we know you were telling your mom you loved loved loved her,
and were trying to purr a lifetime enough to hold her over when you had to leave.

We know your heart is terribly sad right now, but know also that he was sick, and it was nothing you did or didn't do.

There's another sweet tuxish angel playing at the Rainbow Bridge, I am sure my Uncle Mac is sneaking him treats.

[AmberLee]

{{{hugs}}} Sorry, I'm rather speechless now.

[emily_the_spoiled]

Words don't begin to describe what I am feeling as I read your story. Although I do not understand the depth of your pain and loss, please know that I am very sorry that Edges had to leave this Earth too soon. He is now in RB looking down over you and the zoo crew...

[QueenScoopalot]

It's always a huge heartbreak to lose precious babies. Sweet Edges is playing with the many babies and big kitties I've lost over the years. Cry all you need to, and we'll be here for you. (((HUGS))) :(

[sandragonfly]

thanks very, VERY much for the hugs and support!! I've cracked a smile couple of times!! *really smiling* now, I see my dog wagging, *hey! look! the mother is smiling now! I wonder ..what's on the screen that made her looking at us!* and several of cats just psst to each other *geez, humans..she just heard Edges! at least she's a little jiggly--so we can get the treats!*.

yea.....I know I should >think< (all the time) that edges's watching and smiling over me, I have been talking to him, remembering how adorable he was, how he always wanted me.. I'm trying..but it's hard! when I came home, I hug each, count to the heads, one is just missing..or the whole zoo is wildering around because of that enegritic edges...it is different! he use to follow me around, to the kitchen..bathroom..shower, ALWAYS right by me.(he must think 'That Huge Tan Feet' is his mother too!). if I ever need to get up, he'd always tell me *hey! don't forget to carry me!!* and snuggling into my arm/shoulder, sleeping, purring..*sigggh* -- I can't wait to see him again.....!! now I wanna go and make sure I feel their purrings, squeaks (rats), bubbles (fishs) waggings and then hug EACH of them for five minutes! ...THANKS again guys for the amusing words.

[wolflady]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss of Edges. He was absolutely the cutest little thing! I got a lump in my throat looking at those darling pictures that you posted of him (especially of the one with the dog licking Edges! Simply precious!*sigh*).
It's always hard and always too soon to lose a loved one, but please know that he is now your little fur-angel looking down on you.
**hugs**

[jenluckenbach]

OMG :(:(

I am so sorry about Edges. It is so much harder to lose a bay, isn't it?

No words. Just {{{{HUGS}}}} I know how hard it is.

[leslie flenner]

well I am tearing up and tearing- your loss reminds me of mine with a baby I had years ago. the vets dx with fip, no spinal fluid when a tap was done but I would not euthanize him. I brought him home and having dragged the futon into the kitchen where the source of heat was from an old stove (truly!), lay there with him for 2 days while he was in a coma. Turned him over often, changing towels as urine just came out of him. Cheops was his name. He was only a kitten, like your boy. I hope they now know each other and are romping over the RB! They know we love them! How can they not! I know it doesn't seem possible now, but what gave me the motivation to keep going was knowing I would see him again one day- it was all I could think of or I thought I would die crying! (By the way, I called in late to work the day I did decide to let the vet let him go, my supervisor was Cruel! Said I had a "problem", "For God's sake Leslie, it's a CAT, I think you should deal with your problem, I expect you hear no later than....!" (Bitch). That felt good. I don't think I've talked about that in years.....

[sandragonfly]

Originally posted by leslie flenner
well I am tearing up and tearing- your loss reminds me of mine with a baby I had years ago....

wow..stove and coma. thanks for sharing...I like it when I know someone who has a similar experience! (your boss could my teacher, too! but I decided off to not tell, "personal problem" so can I make up and take the missed quiz? eh..)

[Mandy-Lee]

I'm sooo sorry for your loss. I am so choked right now...holding in my tears so much that my head is hurting. I'm at work, so I don't want to start crying in front of everyone...since I am supervising. It's so unfortunate that he had such a short life because he looks like he enjoyed it as much as he could. I can only imagine how much you miss him! Hang in there!
I keep photos of my baby girl all around the house in her memory. It was 1 year on the 5th of July since she went missing..she was 3.
May the lil' guy RIP
:) :(

[catmandu]

As a Cat Lover,I too know the pain,of losing a Cat,but losing a KItten,that young ,makes it a lot worse! You shouldnt feel Guilty,Edges was carrying,the illness in him,it was nothing,that you did,to make him passon! I have if,from Mister Scrappy,and Mr.Fluffy,my Old RB Cats,that they have Edges,with them,at a Fancy Resort Hotel,in Cancun,Mexico,and he is having Fun,with the Pet Angel Army!He misses you,and says that one day,you will be together! Now he is getting seconds,at the Breakfast Buffet!

[smokey the elder]

I'm so sorry about your little kitten Edges. He was such a pretty kitty.

[sandragonfly]

Originally posted by Mandy-Lee
I can only imagine how much you miss him! Hang in there!
I keep photos of my baby girl all around the house in her memory. It was 1 year on the 5th of July since she went missing..she was 3.
May the lil' guy RIP
:) :(

*goosebumps* - I seem find it hard to place/see pictures or frames anywhere! this voice in my head "NOOO!" is still there when I see a picture of him. but ..someday I know I'll be able to handle it. I have had fours who died before him, they're all up and I surely miss them. I hate hate when it's hard!

thank you and everybody else who I haven't thanked yet - those hugs were wonderful.

[leslie flenner]

Put all his pictures together with a pretty bow around them. If you go to a walmart or any dept store in the craft section, they have really beautiful clothe colorful ribbon there. You may even find a nice box that will fit both pictures and toys. Some boxes come with a little slot to slip a photo into so it shows on the outside. Sounds like this great guy is going to be with you forever so it may help in the long run to both honor him and start putting his life together the way you remember? Maybe it is too soon, if so I am sorry to suggest this but you can put it on the back burner (I have 3 cremated cats here with toys and photos- it helped me some to gather the things and photos...).

[Buddy Blaze Lover]

Awww...I am so sorry about Edges, he was a cute little thing!! I remember when I lost my cat, Snowball...she just disappeared one day and never came back. It was so hard, and I had lots of tears. I'll never forget her though, so don't you forget Edges! He will always be in your heart! ;) royal blue

[Buddy Blaze Lover]

Awww...I am so sorry about Edges, he was a cute little thing!! I remember when I lost my cat, Snowball...she just disappeared one day and never came back. It was so hard, and I had lots of tears. I'll never forget her though, so don't you forget Edges! He will always be in your heart! ;)

[felinefanatic]

I am happy to see you are feeling a little better, your other pets still love and need you. I am truly sorry you didn't have more time with Edges, he was so cute!! Many of us know exactly what you are going through, I am also greiving the loss of my Kitty (Skootch) I am so glad we have our friends here at Pet Talk, they more then anyone know how much we love our Cats.:) :)

[Cataholic]

It took me several times to make it through your post. The pain was just too much for me to handle at one reading. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby, Edges. Sometimes, we are not to understand what happens. He was needed more somewhere else than he was on this earth. I am so sorry for your loss.

[sandragonfly]

thanks more!

the more *hugs* I get, the more I feel better. I'm getting somewhat.......okay, I guess. update on crying: last night. am I such a babycry? -- :rolleyes:

[slick]

Originally posted by Gina's Ark Inc.
thanks more!

the more *hugs* I get, the more I feel better. I'm getting somewhat.......okay, I guess. update on crying: last night. am I such a babycry? -- :rolleyes:
Not at all! I'm such a sap and cry at the drop of hat. That's why I'm glad I have an office door to close. While reading PT Memorials, I've been caught one too many time with tears rolling down my face.

More hugs coming. In this world you can never get too many hugs.:)

[kuhio98]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Edges is an adorable tuxie beauty and will be greatly missed.

[QueenScoopalot]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v128/QueenScoopalot/ThisremindsMeOfAshes.jpg

This was from an email circulating with cute pictures of kittens etc. It reminded me so much of Edges and his dog who loved him so. :(

[leslie]

http://www.whiskersinheaven.com/main.htm
Jan (queenscoopalot) posted this on a different thread so if you are unable to open here- go to members and you will see whiskers in heaven as the title of a thread! It looks really nice and comforting and it's better than a cemetary!

[sandragonfly]

queenscop, I just saw that picture before I had that picture (mine one) and I just totally forgot about it. when I recollected all pictures of edges for scrapbooking, I found mine :eek: then thought of that picture you just sent! I was looking for that picture in my e-mail account, now you have it! here's something to look at.... *sitting back... staring... awwwe* :(

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid135/pa894fc4d518a7d02ec0b21329d922eb6/f768a5ca.jpg http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid135/pfe49810ae59e76e8e42c50aa6acce8fe/f768a5cd.jpg

those days are getting easier and easier...a little bit!

[sandragonfly]

leslie, thanks for the link, just looked it up and will think about posting my little edges up..

[leslie]

So is Edges in one of those 2 pictures? I am getting confused! Yes let us know how the website goes as there are plenty of us losing loved companions and looking for comfort where we can! If they seem helpful to you- please post! (or not too!) Hope you are ok!

[sandragonfly]

sorry about that, edges is in right one. don't they look so much alike? unbelievable..

[leslie]

They look very much alike! I wonder if you can get the photos published somewhere? With a memorium of Edges? What do you think? Seems to be very sweet and darn tear-jerking to me! Have you put together a bit of a memorial for him?

[carla and mike]

Oh Gina,I'm so sorry that happened to poor Edges.Boy did I cry reading this.I really wish I knew what went wrong to make his temp go down for future kitty's.To bad the Vet couldn't of thrown some ideas out to you as to what may of happened.Sounded like Edges loved you so very much and vice versa.