I'm depressed

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

I started to post this in JazzCat's thread when I saw the pic of Ripley and Jazz on the sink and the top of the toilet. But I didn't want to bring her thread down so I started a new one.

Anyway, I was just thinking this morning how Tubby always used to be right up on the sink or on the toilet while I get ready in the morning. He was always right there, every morning and I had to "work around him" while I got ready. Now he can't jump there, and if I put him up he can't sit comfortable since the sink is rather small, and he actually doesn't "sit" anymore. He'll sit for like a second or two and then lay down, even when he's begging for his treats. He is still sharp as a tack, but his body is getting old, and I'm so sad about that!

Another thing that really brought it to mind was Terry and I took Tubby for a walk the other day. Yes, we were going to go for a walk and we brought Tubby along on his leash. I used to do that long ago when he was a kitten, and he loved it. He enjoyed it this time too, but you could see that the extended amount of walking was troublesome for him. He was still all alert, eyes darting everywhere and ears and nose going 100 miles an hour, but he just walked like an old man, as if it was hard for him. :( I could tell he enjoyed the walk, but he was more than happy to go back inside and lay down.

I just about broke down right then and there because I don't want him to leave me and I don't want him getting old and frail. I want my young feisty active naw-tee boy back! I remember when I'd come home after being gone for a weekend, the apartment was a mess! The cushions from the couch were all on the floor, the rugs were in shambles and there was litter all over the bathroom from when he was sure the chinese mice tasted better. Now I come home from a weekend away and he's in the same spot as I left him, as if he hadn't moved all weekend.

I've started carrying him up and down the stairs with me if I'm going up or down so he doesn't have to navigate the stairs. He spends a lot more time downstairs now, where he used to always be right by my side no matter where I was. But now I think it's getting hard for him to do the stairs.

2 1/2 years ago when he was 15 1/2 he was diagnosed as being in the early stages of kidney failure. I accepted that and thought that was what would ultimately take him. But that's been under control ever since then, and now it seems like his legs are failing in front of my eyes...and I don't know if I can watch.....:(

I know I should be happy for the 18 wonderful years I've had with him, but I'm just not ready for him to start showing his age yet....:( :(

Sorry, I gotta go and find him now so I can snuggle and tell him how much I love him.....

[shais_mom]

oh Debbie,
I am sorry Tubby is having some troubles.
I don't really know what else to say, as Kylie is my first kitty and I have never had a kitty in old age.

give Tubby a scritch from me

[jazzcat]

Oh Debbie now I'm depressed and crying. I want to hug Tubby too. I'm sure it is so hard to see his body wearing out like that. Ripley is only 12 and I can already see some things are not as easy for him. He used to jump up on the dryer to eat but about a year ago I had to move his food to a lower spot because he can't make the jump that high.

Just reading what you wrote about Tubby not sitting long just breaks my heart. I know I'm not helping to cheer you up but I want you to know how bad I feel for you and Tubby andto some little part I understand.

This is different I know but my Dad has Dementia or early Alzheimer's and his body is still pretty strong for an 82 year old but I see his mind going and it's so sad. My brother is only 40 and has MS and has been wheelchair bound until recently. He's an engineer and has a mind as sharp as a tack but a body failing him. Both cases are so incredibly hard to watch but it is so much worse to see my brother who was so active lose his ability to lead the life he wants and he be so aware of it. I know this is completely different but your post just made me really think about it.

Okay, now I'm even more depressed.

{{{HUG}}}Debbie

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Thanks you guys. Peanut jumped up and started licking my hand just as I was finishing typing all that, and it made me feel a little bit better.

JazzCat, I know what you mean about your dad and your brother. Terry's dad has Alzheimer's and it's soo hard to see him like he is, but the one thing that makes it endurable for Terry's step mom is the fact that he (Terry's dad) doesn't know the condition he's in. He would hate being like that so she is just happy that he appears to be happy and doesn't know where he is or what condition his body is in. I'm with you that having the body fail is harder. I can tell Tubby wants to do all the things he used to, but he can't. :(

scritch delivered to Tubby and {{{hugs}}} back to you Jazz and thanks, I needed that. Now I'm going to get Tubby and go to bed.

[Corinna]

I understand Our Winky is going on 16 and I just dread the day . I saw a little of what will happen last year . After our flea med problem. I thought he was a goner then. All we can do is keep the happy thoughts and memories close in our hearts. We are now having to give Winky moist food to boost his weight ,he never has been a fat cat but the summer heat and old age he is having a too thin problem. In fact last winter he was too, and didn't go out as much .Thinking of you and Tubby((( (hug)))

[gini]

Debbie, I have been where you are and there is a sick feeling you get inside because you know you cannot hang on to them forever.

When I approached a similar season in my beautiful Magic's life and also with other cats who have owned me I tried to do several things.

I made a point to fuss over him every waking moment. I whispered more sweet nothings into his ear and told him how much I loved him. I lifted him up to places that he loved and tried then to keep an eye on him to help him down. I started feeding him special treats that wouldn't upset him.

The day that I lost him I gave him something he dearly loved that was just horrible for him - a huge bowl of milk. I figured why not?

I also kept some of his fur. I knew that he would tell me when it was time and he did.

The night before I learned something about him after all of those years...........he loved strawberries and I had never known that.

He also loved glazed donuts.............but that he made clear very early on in his life. It was a very rare treat that he was given.

I hope you do have Tubby for a long time yet to come.

[AmberLee]

{{{Debbie}}}, {{{Tubster}}}, {{{Peanut}}}, {{{Peanut's slave...}}}

I don't have any words, but if cyberhugs can help...

[catcrazylady]

Giant {{{{{{HUGS}}}}} to you Debbie! Mine are all still pretty young but I still get a sickening feeling when I think about them getting old and not able to be as active. You have obviously taken very good care of Tubby since he is still able to go on walks with you at his age. I know how much you love him and I hope there is still a lot of time for you two to share. Hopefully his body won't deteriorate any further. The thought of losing them is so heartbreaking and gut wrenching.
Give extra special kissies, hugs, and lots of snuggles to sweet Tubby.

[jenluckenbach]

{{{{{Debbie}}}}}
I know how hard it is. We want our babies forever but helping him to do the things that he can no longer do is a kindness you both will always remember. Each time you lift him to a favorite sleeping spot that he has touble reaching, you are repaying all the years of his unconditional love given to you. Each time you see him sleeping instead of playing you can be sure that he is dreaming of those days and reliving them in his mind.
Love him as much as you can and do not postpone taking some photos (no this isn't a plug for posting pictures). You will be glad you captured his life on film.

[Killearn Kitties]

:( Aww, Debbie, that must so hard to watch, but I hope you have Tubby with you for a while yet.

Please give Tubby hugs and snuglies from me too.

[boscibo]

I feel so bad for you, I know exactly how you are feeling.

The majority of my animals are older. With the exception of Hanna, who is only two, and Abby, who is nine, everyone here is in their teens. Even my horse is 22.

I try not to dwell to much on thinking this way, but since Bandit's diabetes and Bo's hyperthyroidism, the feelings rear their ugly head.

We (my SO, my animals, and I) have been together so long; this is my family.

I don't want to lose my friends, and I can't imagine life without any one of them.

It is so hard to see them grow old. :(

[catlady1945]

It's hard to watch a beloved pet get older. Our Patty passed on last December. She was with us over 19 years. Her body was failing her in her last year but her spirit was as strong as ever. We miss her greatly but we are grateful for every second she was with us.

[Barbara]

{{{{{{Debbie}}}}}

I don't have many words but I know your feelings. It is hard to believe how close to your heart a cat can come.

And a live without Filou and Tigris- I have no idea whether it could be called a live.

This is the only place where we can talk about how close they are to us (and compare them with our parents and other beloved humans).

I hope that the Tubster still has some time to enjoy with you- and it sounds like that. And when he'll go he will go with all the grace that makes cats so special to us.

[catmandu]

That is the hardest part,about being a Proper Cat Guarduian,when the Cats,get older! Iam sorry,to hear about Tubby getting older,as Michael,who has lost a lot of his teeth,is no longer the jumper,that he was once. Princess,who is older actually has more pep.But he is My Little Michael,and I will cherish him,as you do Tubby!

[Tonya]

Oh, Debbie. I am so sorry that you are feeling down. It must be so difficult to watch Tubby age. We'll pray for many more healthy Tubby years.

[catlover4ever]

Oh Debbie, {{{{{hugs}}}}} to you. I know exactly how you feel. It is so hard and unfair in a way to watch our "furkids" grow old.

Tucker is about 18 and to me she struggles so much lately. Everytime I see her I think back to when I found her and how fiesty she always was....now she goes a couple steps and stops and sometimes even falls asleep when she is going from point A to point B. She is going deaf (or maybe she is just ignoring me) and she is constantly sneezing, her ears are burnt and will probally need to be "tipped" off, and her hair falls out in clumps.

This may sound really silly but what about going to a yard sale or flea market and getting a used baby carriage and when you and Terry go for a walk you could still take Tubby along....just put his collar and leash on and put him in the carrage....you know, start him out walking on his leash but when he gets tired just pick him up, secure him in the carrage and keep going. Tubby would still have your wonderful company and be able to get some fresh air all at the same time.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me...I know just how you feel. Give Tubby a chin rub from me. {{{hugs}}} --- Meg

[K & L]

It so hard when our loved ones, be it pet or human, become this way. Hugs sent your way.

[aki]

Debbie, I know how you feel. I recently had to by a step stool so Chuck can get up onto my bed at night. I was about in tears when I realized that he couldn't do it by himself anymore. Chuck is 10. It is hard when you realize that you will outlive them but think of it this way, you lived some of the best parts of your life with them. They will never be totally gone.
((((((hugs))))))))
:)

[Randi]

Oh Debbie, I know it must be so hard on you to see Tubby getting old and tired, but I hope you can keep him a while yet. Carrying him up the stairs is a big help and I'm sure he appreciates it very much. :) Give him lots of loving and spoil him all you can! I know you will. :) I think you know that Tubby is one of my favourites. Please give him lots of kisses and hugs from me!

I'm sure you remember Pjevs in our backyard, he is at least 12 years old and seems to be getting smaller lately. I dread the day I have to say goodbye to him. :(

Debbie, I'll keep you and Tubby in my thoughts.

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}

I'll be here if you need to talk. :)

[christa]

I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out . . . death is a hard thing for anyone to think about . . . even when you think of your pets. Josie isn't even a year old yet, but it breaks my heart to consider not having her in my life. After the countless times that she has lifted my spirits out of depression and anxiety . . . I just couldn't imagine loosing her. But I do know how you feel . . . I've lost many pets in my 23 years. It's hard to know that you'll never have them again, but you have to believe that it's better that they don't suffer. Some have a strong will, just like people, and it seems that Tubby's strong will is carrying him along. Just pay as much attention as you can to him. And you never know, you may have him for a few more years . . .

My friend had a 21 year old cat . . . it was deaf and blind . . . they had to put litter on a newspaper on the floor, because it couldn't step over the side of a litter box . . . it had the run of an entire livable attic (they were lucky, wealthy people) and it was the sweetest cat . . .

Point being, you never know how long Tubby has . . . just enjoy every second that you have with him. You're in our thoughts!!! Sending Love & {{{HUGS}}} to you and Tubby . . . from me and Josie!

[catnapper]

Giant {{{{HUGS}}}} to you! I remember how heartbreaking it is to have a cat get old right in front of you. I am going through that right now, watching Nicki get older. She still shows signs of puppy, but she doesn't have the energy to be puppy more than a few minutes. I wonder how much time we'll have left with her. I know, morbid thoughts, and I should be concentrating on the fact that she's still healthy and here with us.

Tubby, I wish I could give you a pill that would give oomph back into your little legs and let you hover around your meowmie every morning.

[DJFyrewolf36]

I find that the key to being un-depressed is to think about all the wonderful times you had with your pet. 18 years is a wonderfully long time to have such a special relationship! As an avid caretaker *and maid mostly* to rats, I know what its like to lose that special pet. All of my rats were special to me, and dispite the time I did have, sometimes it feels as if it is never long enough.
I cry when I lose fish lol, I cry when I kill insects *ok ok so Im reeealy bad* When I was younger, my parents had a doberman, Hidi. Hidi was born literally three days after I was :). The dog lived to be 13 yrs old and my parents got her as a small puppy. I grew up with and was raised partly by this dog. Losing her was the hardest thing I ever went through. But when I think about all the time I had and the fact that she is at the RB waiting for me, It doesn't hurt nearly as bad.
Sigh, I'm rambling
*Hugs* to you! and feel better! *Scritches* to the Tubby man

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Thank you so much everyone. I try not to dwell on this and try to see how well he still gets around instead of always seeing the things he can't do, but sometimes it just hits me and I feel so sad. :(

He does have what seem to be good days and bad days. On the good days, I would say he's not a day over 10, but the bad days are the hardest - and the ones that creep up on you and hit you when you're vulnerable.

Terry was out of town last night so I slept in a little this morning - or I should say I tried to sleep in. No such luck though because Tubby was up and at 'em and right in my face, sniffing my eyeballs. I usually hate it when he does that (I don't know why but his sniffing me has always been a bone of contention between the two of us), but this time I just laughed and gave him a big hug and smooch, then proceeded to get up and give him his morning treats - after his morning medicine of course. :)

Gini, thanks for sharing the memories of Magic. What you did for him is basically what I'm doing for Tubby. Spoiling him as much as I can....as much as his sensitive tummy lets me.

Jen, thank you so much. Somehow the way you put it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Meg, I love the idea of a baby carriage! I hadn't thought of that, but it would be perfect for him! The only thing is, the neighbors will start to wonder about us having a baby! :eek: Imagine their surprise when their curiosity gets the best of them and they come out and see Tubby in the carriage. :D :D

Thank you all so very much. Tubby was pretty chipper this morning which helped a lot to push the sad thoughts to the back of my mind again. I did get some pics - which is another thing I agree with Jen on. Even though they look pretty much like others I've taken, I'm taking them anyway so I have as many as I can of my big boy....and I didn't forget Peanut in the photo session either so hopefully later today I can get those up before "somebody" starts whining. ;) :D

[mruffruff]

I too know the feelings you have. Dale was only with me for 15 months when she was PTS on this past Thursday. She spent most of the time sleeping, but she also liked to lay in the sun. She was 15.

I regret that I didn't take more pictures. Be sure to take lots of Tubby.

All we can do is love them as much as they will let us until it's time for them to go. Then let them go peacefully.

Hugs to you.

Mary

[nibblets]

My Julie is still very young, 1 year, but our little Buddy is 12 and he is showing his age more and more all the time. His eyes are beginning to cloud with cataracts, he has had two spells with his back which his Vet attributes to a ruptured disk. He is occasionally incontinent when he sleeps so I have to keep a sheet folded up under him to protect my bedding. He still has his spunk most of the time. You can tell he is a little old man though.

Its all part of lifes cycle...it doesn't make it any easier to let them go but when they live a nice long life there is satisfaction in that.

Jazzcat- I understand all too well what you are feeling with your Dad and Brother. I lost my dad in 2001 to Parkinson's Disease and Diabetes. He went from a strong life of the party type guy to a frail, quiet almost childlike man before he passed.

All we can do with our animals and our people both as they age and their bodies wear down is love them...and hope that we have someone to love us when its our turn.

[sirrahbed]

((((((Debbie))))))) The three kitties we now have are actually a very NEW family!! I can empathize with you - where you are. Several years back - we had two geriatric kitties, Bert and Ernie. Bert had cancer and Ernie had kidney failure. They were 16 and 17. Both had grown old as our children grew up. It hurt to see them failing - but as I work with elderly - the way I see it is natural I guess. I loved to help them do the things they needed help with like jumping up to the bed or couch. I carried them around more than before. I took lots of pictures but wish I had taken more!! It is sad and hard to watch - but I had to keep reminding myself of all the happy years they had. First, Bert started to outwardly show signs of pain, the tumor was rather large - so I got Missy out of school and we took him to the vet for his final exit so we could hold him while he died. With Ernie, we chose not to extend his life with fluids , etc - because of kidney failure and he never appeared to be in pain - only very slow. He died one night in his sleep - a few nights before Missy's wedding.
My point is writing all this is just to say that life and aging are all normal stages - and each can be enjoyed and made easier and it can be sad and also a joy to help make life happy for them!! They can't be kittens forever of course but they were happy and joyful kittens! Now they can be happy and dignified elderly cats!! They can enjoy ALL of their lives with you. I hope I make sense here.
I DO understand the melancholy though Debbie. I cried my eyes out many times over my old men:( I still cry for them at times. But I also know they had long and happy lives with us. ((((Debbie))))
It is OK and normal to feel sad. Please take extra pictures and spoil them extra!! Lots of love and special treatment that they deserve:) Watch them and savor everything they do so you never forget! Feel honored that they chose YOU to love:)

[gini]

Debbie, the baby carriage idea is brilliant. Who cares what the neighbors say?

I know a woman who has two small maltese and they are older and infirm. She takes them with her everywhere and she has a cute stroller and they just love it!

The only problem is that people do stop her because her pups are so cute. And then she must explain the stroller idea over and over.

But I like to think what a great influence she is on people and can show them the deep love of her pets.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Thanks again everyone. Meg reminded me of this "carriage" type thing on Drs Foster and Smith, but that made me think of a wagon - just a plain old child's wagon! Tubby would love it! I really don't think he would jump out at all - maybe at first until he got used to the feeling of the movement, but I think he would just sit there and take in all the sites while I pull him around! :D

Debbie, I'm hoping Tubby goes like your Ernie did, quietly, in his sleep, hopefully while he's snuggled up next to me in bed. Thanks so much for the comforting words. It is a natural part of life, but that doesn't make it any easier on us.

Again, thank you all. {{{hugs}}} You guys really are the best! :)

[RedHedd]

I know how you feel too. When my Goldie was getting on in years (she died at 15) I knew she was getting old and it just made me sad. I cherished every day I had with her as she drew near the end. Somehow I knew that last Christmas together that it would be our last and I made it extra special for my dear old lady. I wish I had taken more pictures - PT has taught me that! I did save some of her fur and it's tucked into her memorial photo album. All we can do is make their time with us more comfortable. I love the baby carriage idea too. Give Tubby and the Peanut lady some extra skritches from me and the M's.

P.S. I LOVE it when my kitties sniff my eyelids! It's the BEST way to wake up!

[gini]

Debbie, the only thought I had about the wagon idea is that you would have to PULL the wagon with Tubby behind you. Wagons can be bumpy.

If you had the stroller you could PUSH it and then know he was alright.

[sirrahbed]

How about looking at some consignment shops for that baby buggy? You can decorate it up and make it VERY comfy and grand:D

[kimlovescats]

Oh Debbie ... I'm so sorry to hear that you've been feeling down about Tubby. It is a natural thing for us to worry about our loved ones (of any kind) when they are advancing in age .... and I don't have the magic words to make you feel better. I guess just try to do what you can to cherish each and every day that you have with the Tubster and have no regrets! However ... I think that Tubby is one strong and healthy boy, and is just ready for a little extra pampering in his retirement!!!!;) :D

(((((((HUGS))))))))

KIm

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Originally posted by kimlovescats
I think that Tubby is one strong and healthy boy, and is just ready for a little extra pampering in his retirement!!!!;) :D


Good point, Kim, maybe he's milking it for all it's worth. ;) But I don't care. He's been such a good boy all these years that he deserves all the pampering I can give.

Gini, good idea about the pulling and pushing, and that, along with Deb's idea of decorating it all up makes me sway back to the baby carriage idea rather than the wagon.

You guys really are the best! :D

[stacwase]

I'm sorry you're going through this right now. It must be so heartbreaking.

It's heartwarming to know how much you love him and what a wonderful life you've given him.

[DJFyrewolf36]

If you get a buggy for Tubby, you most assuredly need to post pix of him in it!!

waaaahhhhhhh! *I'll start the whining off early :D*

[CatMama78]

Debbie,

I'm so sorry you are feeling sad about Tubby's age. Mercedes, which is my childhood doggie friend, lives with my mom and she is 14 years of age. It's so sad to see her not quite be able to do those things she used to do. She still thinks she's a pup and she runs around in circles and up stairs and tries to hop up onto the bed, but you can tell it hurts her physically. And to tell you the truth, it's hard to keep up a good attitude about the age. You know in your heart you should feel such gratitude for the times you've had and you DO, but you cannot help how it hurts your heart all the same to know time is creeping up on you. One thing you can know and be proud of is that Tubby is a happy guy and is loved not only by you, but by all of us.

[popcornbird]

Oh Debbie, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling down about Tubby's aging. :( Its hard to see any loved one age, and just as hard to see a beloved pet get older and more frail. May Tubby have many years ahead of him with you. One day, we will all leave this world, and though it is hard to think of, its true. I hope you find comfort in the memories of the many wonderful years you have spent with your Tubby, and pray that you have several additional years to spend with him, ahead of you.

{{{hugs}}} to you, and soft scritches to Tubby, and his beautiful little sister.

[ChrisH]

Oh, Debbie. {hugs}

Scritches to the gorgeous Tubbs, may he be with you for a good few years yet.

Chris

[Catsnclay]

My neighbor walks her 2 poodles every morning and also pushes a stroller....when the dogs get tired of walking, they hop in the stroller for the rest of the way! She is fondly called "the Stroller Lady" in our neighborhood.

Loosing a pet that has been with you a long time is never easy. And seeing them go downhill is even worse. You tend to feel very useless.

Is it Tubby that is on the Cosaquin? (sorry I can't remember) I've doubled the amount that Fluffy takes, and it really has helped him out. Its worth a try, it won't hurt him either.

[jenluckenbach]

I am now going to sit here and wait to see the new Tubby-mobile! :D:D

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Originally posted by jenluckenbach
I am now going to sit here and wait to see the new Tubby-mobile! :D:D

Go here (http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=54672) Jen, it's a hoot! :D

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Originally posted by Catsnclay
Is it Tubby that is on the Cosaquin?

Yes, Tubby is the one on Cosaquin. It has helped some because he's squatting again to pee - which is a good thing. I was wondering about increasing his dosage, but I want to check with the vet first because of his kidneys. I don't want to push them over the limit either.

Thanks again everyone. If you've seen the thread I linked to above, you can tell I'm feeling much better about my big boy. :D