War on Chair-orism

[Lacey]

The War on Chair-orism, whose goal is merely human occupation of the Chair Territory, has had minor setbacks. General Mowgli of the Catistan forces has been stepping up his attacks on the Chair Territory. The human occupation, which has managed peaceful co-existance in the past with Catistani forces has found that when temporarily pulling back, General Mowgli moves in for a complete take-over. The human occupation setbacks began last night when General Mowgli called in reinforcements from General Zelda of Catraq.

http://img41.photobucket.com/albums/v127/lacey5480/ourchair.jpg

Their combined forces proved to be enough to repel the human occupation for a time, but as soon as they felt confident enough to slacken their hold on the Chair Territory, human occupation returned.

A delegate of the human occupation had this to say about the combined forces of Zelda and Mowgli. "It was an utter assault of cuteness! I was certain we were going to have to give up and go to bed, but then they just up and left!"

General Zelda, in a brief meeting, took the time to answer questions about the union with Catistani forces. "It was plain and simple revenge. After losing in a brief skirmish with the human occupation in Bath, I needed to do something to make up ground."

http://img41.photobucket.com/albums/v127/lacey5480/IM000342.jpg

General Mowgli declined to comment.

The human occupation once more has control of the Chair territory, but how long control will be maintained in such a tenuous position remains to be seen. If General Mowgli and General Zelda continue their alliance (according to the human occupation delegate), then the human occupation may have to begin negotiations with the enemy forces. The human occupation is currently stocking up on Whisker Lickin's and Temptations in preparation for negotiations.

[sirrahbed]

I don't know if negotiations are possible with such outright aggression such as claiming of previously owned territory! It will only lead to more and more demands! I suggest just giving in since you are outnumbered by obviously superior forces:rolleyes: Find another chair.

[catnapper]

ROTFL!!!

The state of the Catisani forces is bad. Just recently, we had two members of the local Catisani forces figting among themselves as to which member was the true leader. The power struggle is felt by everyone within the Chair's immediate area.

And who suffers during these squabbles for power? The Chair!

Here's an old Associated Press photo of a terrible chair massacre earlier this year:
http://img25.photobucket.com/albums/v74/kimmel101/misc%20nonsense/who_dunnit2.jpg
Please note that two of Catisani's biggest power mongers are seen at the scene of the crime.

Sirrahbed, with bleeding heart liberal thoughts like that, humans will never prevail over these terrors!

[sirrahbed]

Originally posted by catnapper

Sirrahbed, with bleeding heart liberal thoughts like that, humans will never prevail over these terrors!
ROFLOL-I am about as far from a bleeding heart liberal as one can get http://img56.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/1.gif...just reading that statement almost made me wet my pants :D...except when it comes to my kitties - then I am a total wimp.

PS Sara (ES) is online:rolleyes: and I don't want to start fighting:D

[catcrazylady]

ROFLOL!!! You ALL are too funny!!!

I too am very very far from the bleeding heart liberal but since I live with a BATALLION of Catasani members I have to go with the flow!!! I have NO territory!! I keep supplied with all the negotiation tools, (treats, nip, toys) but it is to no avail. These Catatoni's do not negotiate but they do take prisoners!!!!


:D :D :D :D http://petoftheday.com/talk/images/our_smilies/biggrin.gif

[jazzcat]

ROTFLOL!!!

My advice to the human occupation, it's white flag time. The Catistan and Catraq forces will cover everthing in hair and claim it as theirs. Resistance is futile!

[christa]

I think this is the funniest thread I've ever read! I LOVE IT!

[prechrswife]

All I can say is LOL!:D

[AmberLee]

Hee, hee, hee!

I've been getting 'durty' looks all day -- out of town guests this weekend took over several chairs that had been ceded to cats previously. With the hooman reinforcements, the cat generals retreated under the bed. Now that they are gone, I'm under seige and outnumbered! If you never hear from me again, I lost a gallant battle with furdom!

[catmandu]

That is Funny as Zelda,and Mowgli do make a Dynamic Duo! And the Found Cats Hotel,all the Chairs belong to the Cats!

[DJFyrewolf36]

General Remus has decided to leave the chair occupation to the rest of you and has opted to go after the more ambtious target of the BED!

How can one cat take over so much real estate? He must be learning from somewhere....

:D great thread and funny pictures!

[Kona & Oreo's mom]

Very cute! Good luck to the human forces--I don't think you have a chance!

Please tell General Zelda that I am so sorry to hear of her loss in Bath. :D

[Lacey]

The alliance between Catistan and Catraq has hit a slight bump as General Zelda cuts into General Mowgli's supply lines! General Mowgli has petitioned the human occupation for aid, and, in return, has promised to cede all future claims of the Chair Territory to the human occupation (provided he is allowed occasional visits to the Chair Territory).

In an effort to keep General Zelda out of General Mowgli's supply lines, two new weapons have been introduced: the AK27 Assault Bottle and the Bubble Bombs. Both weapons are guaranteed to send General Zelda fleeing from the battlefield.

http://img41.photobucket.com/albums/v127/lacey5480/weapons.jpg

General Zelda was unavailable for comment.

http://img41.photobucket.com/albums/v127/lacey5480/unavailable.jpg

"We are pleased," claims General Mowgli, "at the human occupations efforts to protect our supply lines. As long as General Zelda is taking what is not rightfully hers, we will remain united with the human occupation."

http://img41.photobucket.com/albums/v127/lacey5480/gen_mowg.jpg

However, sources close to the two generals reveal that General Mowgli has also been very aggressively attacking General Zelda's treat supplies. Whether this is in retaliation or pure and simple greed remains to be seen. The human occupation is taking a neutral stance on the treat issue. According to one delegate, "If General Zelda wants her share of treats so badly, then she'll need to eat them faster. General Mowgli is like a feline vacuum, so by the time he has finished off his entire treat supply, General Zelda is still on the first treat! If the situation escalates, however, we will step in."

[sirrahbed]

http://img56.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/1.gif
Never mind Fox News! I am staying tuned to Cat General to hear the latest on this alliance between Catistan and Catraq!! I am pretty sure this involves some WMD's (weapons of mouse destruction)!! This is SERIOUS :eek: :cool: BTW, what IS that gooey looking yellow substance next to the treat bowl? Is that chemical warfare?:eek:

[Lacey]

That would be the poor, defenseless catnip mousie, which went through water torture on General Mowgli's first night in Apartment. The dear little thing was dunked in the water bowl until it turned the water into catnip tea.

[catcrazylady]

ROFLOL!!!!! The next post is going to be from Mowgli telling us that General Zelda and the human occupation have been captured and he now has total contol of the "Chair territory"!:D :D http://petoftheday.com/talk/images/our_smilies/biggrin.gif

This is too funny!!!

[DJFyrewolf36]

Originally posted by sirrahbed
http://img56.photobucket.com/albums/v170/sirrahbed/1.gif
Never mind Fox News! I am staying tuned to Cat General to hear the latest on this alliance between Catistan and Catraq!! I am pretty sure this involves some WMD's (weapons of mouse destruction)!! This is SERIOUS :eek: :cool: BTW, what IS that gooey looking yellow substance next to the treat bowl? Is that chemical warfare?:eek:

This is far more entertaining for sure!!!!

[Lacey]

The leader of the human occupation had this to say on WMD's:

"While we have no actually, concrete proof of weapons of mouse destruction, we have found evidence of the possibility of such weapons. This poor minimouse ear was found very close to the Chair Territory. However, the rest of the mouse has yet to be found."

http://img41.photobucket.com/albums/v127/lacey5480/ear.jpg

"We are currently trying to determine whether Catistani or Catraqi forces are responsible for the minimouse devastation. Current suspicions are leaning towards a joint effort."

[DJFyrewolf36]

:eek:

The plot thickens!

[Lacey]

The war is over! An appropriate truce has been reached. Not a single WMD was ever found (though neither was the poor, earless minimouse).

http://img41.photobucket.com/albums/v127/lacey5480/truce.jpg

[sirrahbed]

What:confused: They have allowed human occupation of their territory????:eek: Unheard of! I don't believe it. A Catistani or Catraqui would NEVER allow this:o

[Lacey]

Human occupation was only allowed in exchange for prime lap space and a pouch of chicken and tuna Whiskas - the latter of which the two are currently devouring like it's the best stuff they've ever had. :D

[sirrahbed]

You negotiated with Chairorists? They will only demand more and more! :eek: You have become their puppet! Jazzcat was correct! Resistance was futile:(

[CatDad]

OMG!! ROTFLMAO!!!!

This thread is great, Lacey you should go write for for a news show, those were good. You too Debbie.

Now, I just have to think up a story as to why I was laughing so hard in my cube.:)

Thanks for the mid day smile.:D:D:D

[sirrahbed]

I want an explanation of the mouse ear. That is pretty hard evidence of WMD. The remains are likely hidden or eaten. Who is in charge here? A puppet government!! Ha! I am going back to Fox News:eek:

[Lacey]

After much searching, the human occupation managed to stumble across another mouse ear and an earless mouse. When asked about his earless state, the mouse only responded with, "Eh?" When presented with the ears, the mouse added, "Them's my ears!" Judging from the fact that the mouse appeared to be fairly healthy despite the missing ears, the human occupation could only guess that the ears were lost in a freak accident. There continues to be no sign of weapons of mouse destruction. Catastan, Catraq, and the human occupation continue to maintain an uneasy truce.

http://img41.photobucket.com/albums/v127/lacey5480/earless.jpg

[sirrahbed]

The human occupation obviously needs more experienced advisors. Has the chair been reoccupied? eh? Actually even though I am far from a bleeding heart liberal as previously accused - in this allegorical war, I am afraid I will have to compromise my politics:) I would never wage a war on Chair-orism as I know that winning it is impossible, since I am well aware that the Catastani and Cataraqui's are by far the superior occupants. Thankfully, they are a benevolent bunch and will allow the human ocupation to believe they are in control even though both sides know it is a mere deception. However, like the real thing - we can go on - but do get some wiser advisors because there ARE WMD's in this particular battle. I am sure it would be very easy to obtain video evidence of either General Mowgli or General Zelda in the very act!

[Lacey]

Alas, Deb, the human occupation should've heeded your warnings about WMDs! Just a short while ago, the deaf minimouse met with a terrible fate in a fierce battle with General Mowgli!

http://img41.photobucket.com/albums/v127/lacey5480/killed_001.jpg

http://img41.photobucket.com/albums/v127/lacey5480/killed_002.jpg

[AmberLee]

*Irk!!!* As horrible as this photo is, at least it's not one of those decapitation videos that's flooding the internet!