Parents And Unruly Kids

[RICHARD]

What is the reasoning behind people 'bragging' about how unruly their kids are?

My 'boss' walked in to day and asked me when I went on vacation.

He stated that I was going two days after his kids were leaving with his mom on their vacation...

He smiled and said he was getting a vacation away from his 12 and 4 year old. His four year old is daddy's girl and won't behave for the mother and the 12 year old was threatened with jail for skipping school, again! He made the 'jail' statement with a little smirk on his face, kind of like 'Oh, well...."

I told him it sounded like he had his hands full - he got ticked off and started to defend his kids. "They aren't too bad..."

Why talk about them and when someone agrees, get ticked off??

[thelmalu99]

I hear ya. LOL, don't even get me started on the topic of children without discipline.

I know a few people with impossible children, and when they complain, I just sit there and smile and nod my head, putting on my best 'kids will be kids' face. If I voice my opinion, I know I will get the, "What do you know? You don't have any kids", so I just zip it.

I have learned my lesson. I once worked with a woman who sat there complaining that she couldn't get her 5 year old out of her bed and into his own. Of course, in my mind, I'm thinking, it's her own fault for letting the child get used to sleeping in the bed with her and her husband every night. Now, after 5 years, she wants to complain?

I made the mistake of voicing my opinion, nicely, but saying that she must put a stop to it, because it's not healthy for the child, nor is it healthy for her marriage to have to leave their own bedroom and go to the couch any time they want to have a little intimacy.

Why did I bother? This woman had a fit and said that she was very "proud of her child-rearing decisions". So why on earth was she complaining? If she's so proud, she should be very happy that her child will probably be in high school and still be sleeping between mom and dad. :rolleyes:

From then on, I learned to keep my mouth shut about other people's kids.

[G.P.girl]

lol! i think it's more annoying when people won't shut up about how great their kids are...actually it'd be better if they wouldn't talk about then at all....JMO. it's ok if they mention them every once in a while, but no one wants to know what little Johmmy had for breakfast, lunch and dinner in the last 3 weeks :rolleyes:

[catnapper]

Ugh! Another huge problem with our society! My husband was reading the paper the other day and there was an article that interviewed three of the area's best retiring teachers. They said that as little as 7 or 8 years ago, they could walk into a room, shut the door and the class would be quiet. Today, they'd have to slam the door twenty times and the class still wouldn't become quiet. The kids today are not reprimanded for misbehaving and everyone's too quick to call someone a child abuser when they are trying to correct their children.

My Sister-in-law has the BIGGEST brat. My daughters both refuse to babysit her. She has never been told NO. Then if they manage to say no, its relented a minute later to give her what she wanted. They are SO going to have a problem with her in a few years. Once I took her to the grocery store when I was abysitting. I had told her No a hundred times - no cookies, n candy, no, no, no. She cried the whole time. I wanted to strap her to the roof of the car on the drive home just so I could get one second without a screaming three year old who should by then know that she can't get everything she wants! I understand they cry... really I do. But EVERYTIME I said no sent her in convulsions like I had just smacked her.

[PayItForward]

IMO it is just as abusive to never teach your child about sharing, patience, waiting for things etc than it is to smack them.

In both case you are not teaching the child any thing constructive :(

[Kfamr]

"Oh, my daughter almost went to jail... she's not that bad!"


Yeeeeeaahhh...... OKAY.

[Kfamr]

Originally posted by catnapper
They said that as little as 7 or 8 years ago, they could walk into a room, shut the door and the class would be quiet. Today, they'd have to slam the door twenty times and the class still wouldn't become quiet.


When I had Art 2d & 3d, the kids in my class would NEVER shut up for the teacher. I mean NEVER. I love art class, and things dealing with art.. so I always wanted to get started quickly. Yet, the teacher had to stand there in front of the class wtaching as everyone flapped their lips. After a few days of that, I started telling them to shut up. They stoppped talking after I told them to.

It's sad that our teacher couldn't get the class to be quiet, but she loved it... she didn't have to scream.

[dukedogsmom]

He sounds like a breeder instead of a parent. That 12yr old isn't too old to have their rear end torn up. Sounds like that's what they both need. It's their own fault for letting them grow up that way. Now they're getting payback.
LOL @ Kay. One time, in 2nd grade, the kids wouldn't shut up for my teacher either. So I stood on my desk and yelled "SHUT UP!" as loud as I could. Got me a trip to the principal. Are you sure you're not my daughter somehow??

[Lillycat]

dont get me started.....todays children and discipline are virtual strangers to each other.....as a nearly retired teacher i can testify as to "how it is".....and mostly it isnt good!

[moosmom]

It's plain and simple.....stupid parents, unruly children. I would've said, "Excuse me, I need to make an urgent phone call," and then call ANYONE!!!!!!

[AvaJoy]

I'm brat-free and thankful for it!:D

[Sirrahsim]

good grief! that reminds me of a horror story that one of my friends who works at the "Child Development Center" here on base told me. They are an accredited institution and because of that they have a million stupid rules to follow. The stupidest rule of all: They are not allowed to tell a child "No". This place is supposedly all about positivity. An employee can get fired on the spot if they tell a child "No". One of my friend's coworkers was working with the 3 year olds one day when one of the little curtain climbers (:D ) decided to climb up onto a bookcase and jump off into a pile of pillows. The employee's only choice was to try to redirect the children's attention to something else. But then you know three years olds, if one jumps off a bookcase, they all want to. It's so dumb. The employee was not allowed to tell the kids to stop climbing on the bookcases, but then she still got in trouble when a parent saw what was going on in the moniters. (there are cameras in every room hooked up to screens in the main lobby). How in the heck are kids supposed to learn right from wrong if you can't tell them "No" or express any negative emotion at them.... Holy cow, a swat to the butt isn't going to emotionally scar a child and neither is being told "no" if they are misbehaving... *sigh* what kind of world are my kids going to grow up in :( :(

[DJFyrewolf36]

I sure wouldn't send my kid to be watched in a place that couldn't tell them "no". Positive environment my @$$! I'm positive that telling the kid to stop acting like a pill will acomplish more for his self esteem than letting him get away with EVERYTHING.
I'd be expressing some negative emotion at the place that made up all the rules to begin with :mad:

[carole]

I hear ya Richard, I think they feel it is ok for them to criticise their kids, but when you Agree with them they just don't like it, silly I know, but people are like that, as long as they do it and no-one else, then they get all defensive and try to make out their kids are not so bad after all.

It sure is nothing to be darn proud of, maybe he was just venting, inside he is probably just as worried and upset as any parent would be, its his strange way of getting it off his chest,but as I don't know the guy, who know's. Just my thoughts.

PS Avajoy, not all children are brats, and its not fair to label them as such., none of us are perfect, or have the perfect kids,but some of us are trying to raise acceptable members of society.:)

[luckies4me]

Originally posted by thelmalu99
I hear ya. LOL, don't even get me started on the topic of children without discipline.

I know a few people with impossible children, and when they complain, I just sit there and smile and nod my head, putting on my best 'kids will be kids' face. If I voice my opinion, I know I will get the, "What do you know? You don't have any kids", so I just zip it.

I have learned my lesson. I once worked with a woman who sat there complaining that she couldn't get her 5 year old out of her bed and into his own. Of course, in my mind, I'm thinking, it's her own fault for letting the child get used to sleeping in the bed with her and her husband every night. Now, after 5 years, she wants to complain?

I made the mistake of voicing my opinion, nicely, but saying that she must put a stop to it, because it's not healthy for the child, nor is it healthy for her marriage to have to leave their own bedroom and go to the couch any time they want to have a little intimacy.

Why did I bother? This woman had a fit and said that she was very "proud of her child-rearing decisions". So why on earth was she complaining? If she's so proud, she should be very happy that her child will probably be in high school and still be sleeping between mom and dad. :rolleyes:

From then on, I learned to keep my mouth shut about other people's kids.

This women practices what is not as Attachment Parenting. I did it with my son and plan to do it with my future children, should I decided to have another go. It's based on intamacy with the child. Babies are held constantly, carried in baby slings close to the body, breastfed in bed, giving constant love and attention when appropriate and parents usually co-sleep with their child. I co slept with Dylan until he was 1 year old and the bond we have is truly amazing. Though I would not plan on having my five year old in bed with me, it was their decision so who are we to critisize? Sometimes parents just need to talk to someone who will listen and shut up because they are feeling stressed on that particular day. Personally I wouldn't mind letting my child sleep with me as I love spending time close to Dylan snuggling, but Dan will have nothing of it now as our bed is much too small. There are days that go by that I really miss cuddling and sleeping next to Dylan, just holding him and ejoying him while he is still small and still wants to be close to me.

[luckies4me]

Originally posted by Sirrahsim
good grief! that reminds me of a horror story that one of my friends who works at the "Child Development Center" here on base told me. They are an accredited institution and because of that they have a million stupid rules to follow. The stupidest rule of all: They are not allowed to tell a child "No". This place is supposedly all about positivity. An employee can get fired on the spot if they tell a child "No". One of my friend's coworkers was working with the 3 year olds one day when one of the little curtain climbers (:D ) decided to climb up onto a bookcase and jump off into a pile of pillows. The employee's only choice was to try to redirect the children's attention to something else. But then you know three years olds, if one jumps off a bookcase, they all want to. It's so dumb. The employee was not allowed to tell the kids to stop climbing on the bookcases, but then she still got in trouble when a parent saw what was going on in the moniters. (there are cameras in every room hooked up to screens in the main lobby). How in the heck are kids supposed to learn right from wrong if you can't tell them "No" or express any negative emotion at them.... Holy cow, a swat to the butt isn't going to emotionally scar a child and neither is being told "no" if they are misbehaving... *sigh* what kind of world are my kids going to grow up in :( :(

That is just ridiculous!!! OMG I cannot believe that. How much stupider can it get? Dylan has very stern discipline. He is NOT allowed to do whatever he wants, knows the values of please and thank you and communication. There is no whining in my house. Either you tell me what you want or you don't get it at all. We are very strict, but in a loving way. When my child acts well, he gets rewarded with plenty of time coloring, painting, a trip to the park etc.

[wolfie]

Originally posted by luckies4me
When my child acts well, he gets rewarded with plenty of time coloring, painting, a trip to the park etc.

That's how positive reinforcement is SUPPOSED to work! It's not just never using the word 'no.'

[RICHARD]

http://www.worldmagblog.com/archives/006186.html

Some interesting thoughts on the recent ban of spanking in England....

[DJFyrewolf36]

I wonder how the youth will turn out if this becomes a worldwide mandate :confused:

I really don't know!

[carole]

Richard they want to ban spanking here in NZ too, it is sure on the cards, I see nothing wrong with a spank now and then, I guess that day comes i will have to hang up my rights as a parent to discipline my child as I see fit.

I certainly donot believe in corporal punishment, but sometimes a spank , just a quick one is all that is needed.

[anna_66]

Because they're stupid, just plain stupid:rolleyes:

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by carole
I see nothing wrong with a spank now and then, I guess that day comes i will have to hang up my rights as a parent to discipline my child as I see fit.



If you give up your 'rights' remember you still have a LEFT hook, jab and uppercut.;)

[carole]

Gee thanks Richard I will keep that in mind lol.;)

[RICHARD]

ugh.

I went to a kiddy party yesterday and one little kid really irritated me.

I told him to go grab something to eat, a burger or a dog.

He looked at me and said, "I DON'T LIKE THAT KIND OF FOOD."

I then asked him if he liked MacDonald's, this six year old answered, "Chicken Nuggets is the only thing I tolerate, I won't eat anything else from the menu."

After he got into a fight with another child, He went to throw rocks at the concrete pillar that held the drinking fountain while staring at the boy he fought with. .

"Please don't throw rocks at the fountain."

Clack, clack, clack.

"Please don't throw rocks at the fountain."

He turned about and gave me a look - If he could have he would
have pitched one at me. I could see the hate seething from this kids eyes!


Talking to one of the parents I found out that he had spent the night at their home. At four thirty in the morning the 'Bad Seed'
walked into the bedroom where he and his wife were asleep, woke them up and demanded to be taken home.

Everytime I glanced around to check on the kids this one was
hitting, breaking or throwing something.

Normally I like kids, but this one truly scared me.

I found myself worrying about where he was at all times and towards the end of the party I never let him walk behind me.

I laughed on the way home.

It had been a while since I felt threatened by a 6 year old....


:eek: :confused: :o :rolleyes: :(

[DJFyrewolf36]

Kids like that make me scared to have children lol!

[Tonya]

I've had my fair share of unruly kids since my house went on the market. I think it is so rude to bring small misbehaving children into my house and let them run loose while you decide rather or not you feel like buying my house.

Last week, one of the kids let my snake loose.

Today, this family came with their realtor. They didn't call first. They walked in without knocking. They had a 5, 2, and 8 year old. The eight year old immediatly started digging into my son's toys. The five year old screamed bloody murder hysterically because I owned dogs. My dogs were secured away. But that wasn't enough. I couldn't hear myself think with her screeches. So, while I'm running back and forth babysitting the 5 and 8 year old, the 2 year old let herself in my backyard and let Sarah loose.

[Laura's Babies]

My grandson was always getting into trouble at school.. They would scold him and he would cry...He must have been 7 or 8 at the time.. He had the perfect answer for them when they asked him WHY he can't behave at school... He told them "I can't help it if YOU never taught me to behave!" He was soooo right! I left the room so no one would see me laughing..

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Laura's Babies
He told them "I can't help it if YOU never taught me to behave!" He was soooo right! I left the room so no one would see me laughing..


rotflmao,

From the mouth's of babes....

[chrissycat21]

We'll listen if there is a punishment or you did something to grab our attention (a little slap, no computer for a week, etc.)

We draw unwanted attention to ourselves for almost no reason ("I want the CD pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase!")

Our obstacle in life is to do something bad and not get in trouble.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not all kids are like that (not me, not me!) but some are. Some of my little sister's friends for instance.....

-Chrissy

[leslie flenner]

What in the heck were the parents doing? Did they make just gestures to control the kids? you know in the 60s it was safe to make the kids stay in the car- my mom sent me to the car plenty of times! Should be an alternative for the "Go to the car and WAIT!" punishment! Didn't you have a strong urge to discipline them yourself but didn't want to lose the opportunity to sell the house!?

[Tonya]

There has been many times where I've disciplined other people's children. I didn't want to lose my selling opportunity though.

If my son acts up in public, I don't care where we are, I sit him down in the closest most boring corner and make him put his hands in his lap. If it's real bad, we leave.

I must say, my son made me soooo mad last week. We went to Seaworld last week. We don't have much money or time because of this house selling thing, not to mention, being pregnant, I don't feel like walking in the sun all day....Well, at the end of the day; a sunburn and $300 later, Jaden was mad because we were leaving.

He yelled at me in front of everyone "I had a horrible day here, I didn't like SeaWorld at all!"

I thought I was going to abuse him for sure. It took all I could to not send him flying in the air. So, although we have prebought tickets, he is not going to the waterslides or the state fair this summer. My mom said that is ridiculous because we'd been plannig those trips for so long and because my husband and I really wanted to go. But I don't care. I think you have to make sacrifices in order to discipline your children. I don't want my child to become a spoiled brat.

[G.P.girl]

Originally posted by Tonya
I thought I was going to abuse him for sure. It took all I could to not send him flying in the air. So, although we have prebought tickets, he is not going to the waterslides or the state fair this summer. My mom said that is ridiculous because we'd been plannig those trips for so long and because my husband and I really wanted to go. But I don't care. I think you have to make sacrifices in order to discipline your children. I don't want my child to become a spoiled brat.
what my parents used to do was go anyway and leave me with a sitter or something. then when the other kids would come home they would talk about how great it was...it was really sad for me...but i turned out ok...i had a little mouth on me when i was little they nipped that in the bud almost before it started....unfortunatly for them they can't spank me when i talk back anymore. :rolleyes: not that i do anywayy......

[Pam]

Originally posted by RICHARD


It had been a while since I felt threatened by a 6 year old....


Unfortunately Richard this 6 year old will soon be a 16 year old and then a 26 year old and will probably seem very threatening to lots of people.

Sometimes I think my generation was raised on another planet. Things were so different way back when......*sigh*

[leslie flenner]

well you've already told him he's not going but I agree you should go and enjoy yourself! Give his ticket to a family friend. I think the punishment fits the crime. I know I would remember never to complain again! (He was upset because he didn't want to leave so he said it was horrible? Does he even know how that makes no sense? And how he could have gotten more "points" with you by just saying "Thanks for the nice day, I hope we can come back soon." Sorry, I forget how old he is....! How goes the deadline on selling the house anyway!!!???

[Tonya]

Yeah, we'll probably wind up going without him...Bringing my brother or something. The house deadline is scaring me! Someone told us they are making an offer though. But we haven't seen it.

[CathyBogart]

Hey Tonya: I just thought I'd pop in and say that I really liked your kid when I went to visit you, and I don't say that often. :) He's a good one, keep it up! ^_^

[Tonya]

Thank you! I try hard because I don't want him to turn out like me. :p Where've you been? I haven't seen you around in a while.