Homeless on street corner...

[teenster3]

What do you do when you see someone on the side of the street with a sign in their hands that reads: no job, no food, no shelter...please help!
I have seen this many times before in Madison near the Wal-mart.
I just don't know what to do. I know that I feel very sad & want to give what I can afford but, should I?
I've called my friend before & asked her what she would do. She said there's been times when she's given money but, other times not.
My husband on the other hand says; they're total scammers! Well, how do you tell?
I asked my friend's sister-in-law (she's a cop) & she said to call the police to have them removed.
Geez, I don't want to be cruel....I saw 2 people give money to a man standing by some stop lights in rush hour traffic today & felt like I should too but, I completely froze up & did nothing. I feel just awful.

[NoahsMommy]

You can always donate to local homeless shelters, soup kitchens or other programs. That way you know where your money is going.

While its very, very sad there are homeless people in America, we have a ton of programs and services to help them. (At least in the area I live in...)

[teenster3]

I just didn't know if I should stop & give him money as well or just keep going on my merry way.
Yeah, you're right....there are groups out there. I was just talking about the situation at hand.

[Kfamr]

The sad thing is about homeless people, is even if they really need the money and need help, when people give it to them, they use it to buy drugs, alcohol, cigarettes. not all of them, but a majority of them can always be seen with a beer or smoking something. You'd think if they really, really wanted help and were really desperete enough to ask others for money they'd use it for good, not bad.


But then again, drugs, alcohol and cigarettes are hard for some people to take out of their lives.

[davidpizzica]

Originally posted by NoahsMommy
You can always donate to local homeless shelters, soup kitchens or other programs. That way you know where your money is going.

While its very, very sad there are homeless people in America, we have a ton of programs and services to help them. (At least in the area I live in...) While there might be people out there that really need the money, there are plenty that are con artists just out to scam you. I say donate to the homeless shelters and other programs NoahsMommy is right.

[binka_nugget]

I don't give money cause frankly, I don't have much of it myself and in the area I worked in, a majority of them could be found with alcohol so I didn't want to support that.

The area I worked in had a lot of homeless people. So instead of money, I'd give them my free lunch from work after my shift. I knew that I was helping them but I still didn't support any bad habbits. It's not exactly practical to carry extra food with you though.. but if you know you're heading to that area, then maybe you can bring some food if you don't feel comfortable with giving them money.

[sirrahbed]

I remember years ago seeing people with signs "will work for food" and I always felt so bad. A couple times my husband and I stopped and gave people money and they grabbed it with no thank you and moved on to the next car and I felt it was a scam. Later on, our pastor told a story where he stopped and offered to buy the guy with a sign some food and the guy refused. So, I guess it can make you cynical after awhile. I usually won't give money anymore. We have bought food for people in fast food restaurants before and they seemed to appreciate it. You can tell when you see someone in there huddled over nothing but coffee that they are just in there to keep warm and could probably use a sandwich - but we don't give cash any more, except to well known charities. I hate to be that way - but hate to feel used also. I bend sometimes on certain occasions.

[delidog]

I know this scenerio all too well,having worked in N.Y.,L.A. & Miami..

A few years ago,I worked in Miami & Lived on S.Beach...every night i drove home past a Walgreens...sometimes I would have to Stop to pick up a couple of things....there was Always this couple there...Homeless...with a dog...a Border Collie Mix...Humans have a Choice to be Homeless,Dogs do not....so I would go to walgreens and buy them canned goods....like soups,Spaghetti os,Beef stew and the like...and I would Always buy 4 or 5 cans of Dog Food....it made me feel a little better,at least I thought he was being fed that way....To everybody eles' point...I Never give money....this walgreens' had a liquor store next to it....
So I go home after stopping a few times,I tell my room mate what I've been doing...

He was like NICOLE,How Could You be So Cruel????????

I wasn't understanding WHY he was saying this to me....
He then Bursts out laughing and asks...Did you THINK to Buy Them a Can Opener???????????
(Slaps forehead!!!) Duh!!!

All I wanted to do was help the Poor Dog!!!!!:o

[ticosmyham]

:( My gosh, I know what you mean..I go into Madison a few times a month..it's hard to see. I just always assume that they really are homeless, because how profitable do you think begging on the street corner could really be? I dont know, maybe I'm just being dumb, but I always give them something....I'm just trying to help out. And if even if they are scamming me, I can spare a few dollars.

[Aspen and Misty]

Originally posted by delidog

He then Bursts out laughing and asks...Did you THINK to Buy Them a Can Opener???????????
(Slaps forehead!!!) Duh!!!

All I wanted to do was help the Poor Dog!!!!!:o


LMAO!!!! That is sooo funny! You are cruel!! LOL :p


Hey, you had good intentions!

Ash

[Uabassoon]

I know that it's sexist, but I'm so much more likely to give to a female then a male. I think because homeless men scare me and I always walk away from them as fast as possible. Once I had a lady tell me she needed money to buy things for her baby so I took her into the store and got her some baby supplies instead of giving her money. She was very thankful for my help.

[AmberLee]

Some friends of mine through a church group put together a booklet of local resources and gave it to the church to use when people come to them for help. Then we put together a summary one page of resources and made copies for all in the group. We tied them around granola bars and gave them out instead of money. If those we gave them to were scammer we were out little, and if they really needed help they may have gotten help from the list.

It's tough to know what to do in these circumstances sometimes.

:( :eek: :(

[sirrahbed]

Originally posted by Uabassoon
I know that it's sexist, but I'm so much more likely to give to a female then a male. I think because homeless men scare me and I always walk away from them as fast as possible. Once I had a lady tell me she needed money to buy things for her baby so I took her into the store and got her some baby supplies instead of giving her money. She was very thankful for my help.

I am the same way, guess it is sexist but it is how I feel. I also agree that you really can't go wrong by offering to buy food or supplies rather than hand over money! If somebody is conning for money - I doubt that they would bother going to the store with you for supplies or to a coffee shop for food, etc. Good idea.

[carole]

If I had some money to give, I probably would regardless, I would hate to think I was helping someone with their drinking habit, but that is something I cannot really know, I would just want to help, you can never really tell if it is genuine or not, but I would give anyway in the hope that it was.

One thing bothered me the other day in the city, there was this guy sitting with a hat and a sign give money to the un-employed, this angered me, as one we have benefits in NZ that can provide for him until he gets work, begging is not necessary in this country , yet, my attitude was get off your backside and start looking mate.

My uncle was visiting south america, and that was the one thing that really bothered him was the young children in genuine need of help.

[RICHARD]

Many years ago a couple, sitting near a HUGE convertible asked me if I had some change, they had run out of gas because they had driven across the valley to go to the movies.

It sounded good, the movie house was across the street and it being the Christmas season, I was feeling in a real generous mood.

I gave them three bucks, wished them a Merry Xmas and went on my way.....I drove out of the parking lot with my heart filled with love, Goodwill Towards Men, and the feeling I had done a good deed.

A few weeks later, at the same store in the front parking lot, I was approached by a kid who had run out of gas and asked if I had a couple of bucks for gas...He pointed to the woman that he was with sitting in a car.

It was still Christmas, I was feeling in a real generous mood so I asked the kid-

You couldn't make it home with the money I gave you three weeks ago???

Now, when I am asked for change my heart strings tugs at me and I remember the couple who took my money, took three weeks to get home and took any "Goodwill Towards Men" that I had up until that point.

Of course,
If someone DOES ask me for change and I do feel the need to ask them what it is for, more often than not they will get it if they answer....

"I won't lie to you, I'm gonna get high (buy beer, booze, etc....)"

Who can turn down an honest drunk?;)

[cali]

a simple test is if they ask for money for food, offer to take them out for dinner, but do NOT give them money plain out.

[trayi52]

My daughter and her husband make quite a few trips to Nashville, Tn to take their daughter to a kidney specialist there. Whenever they see somebody like that, they always go buy food and take it to them. They don't give money, but will go to a store and buy food to give to them.

The people they have encountered this way, have all been very thankful for the food they get.

My son does the same thing, never giving money, but buying food, for these homeless and hungry people.

It make me feel very proud of my daughter, her husband, and my son.

It always breaks my heart to hear of things like this, but when my kids tell me what they have done, I just feel so good!

Willie:)

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by cali
offer to take them out for dinner, but do NOT give them money plain out.

I won't kiss on the first date tho......


And If you DO give them money, it's not a date!

:eek: :rolleyes: :confused: ;)

[ticosmyham]

Originally posted by RICHARD
I won't kiss on the first date tho......


And If you DO give them money, it's not a date!

:eek: :rolleyes: :confused: ;)

Lmao!

[Katiesmom]

teenster, I feel the same way...I feel I should donate and then again I don't...Some people do it just to get extra money they really don't need it but just like to scam and some do need it..I don't know...when I can I give a dollar or two I know its not much but I don't know if that person really is homeless or not so If I give that much I don't feel like I've lost much but sometimes I wonder..

[teenster3]

Carole....
My husband feels the same way. He says: there's so many jobs that other people are unwilling to do & so on. I say: I can't help but wonder, how can someone get a job if they don't have clean clothes, a resume, shelter, or transportation?
I don't know, it's just very sad to see men, women, & especially children desperate for food & shelter while we sit here with so much!!!:(

[carole]

Teenster I know what you are saying, but here in NZ there is really no need for anyone to be that bad off, there are of course exceptions, and I am not looking through rose coloured glasses, My husband lost his job a few years back, they just did not need him anymore and we had to rely on unemployment for a while,it sure was tough , and yes we did not have money to throw away, but we survived.

Here in NZ you get grants, that you donot have to pay back, to help you buy clothes for a job interview, so except in special circumstances there is no excuse really.

Like all welfare systems, it gets abused far too much.

I was thinking about what you were saying Richard, and how people scam people, the bad apples always spoil it for the ones who truely need it, this is typical of human behaviour, but if it is only a couple of bucks, i figure I can take the loss, even though I would far rather it went to someone who really needs and deserves it, I think the homeless situation is far worse in the US, than here, but only because you have a bigger population.

[leslie flenner]

Your husband is right, there are menial jobs out there. However, the people you see with cups are, (99% sure here from my 20 year work experience) unable to get those jobs. Yes, some are scams. But most are not. most are people that cannot stay in shelters due to paranoid schizophrenia, or other psychiatric disabilities. the system can not help those who refuse (because their minds don't let them accept help- they think others are out to hurt them, kill them, it is not a fake thing- their minds truely lead them to believe that this is the way it is- many of them freeze to death here in boston every winter- they refuse to go inside.
HOWEVER- I do not give money in those cups. they have other resources and even though they are paranoid about using them, I know they are there and cannot give money when I know they are not using them. I tell them (and it's a daily thing for me) to go to the shelter for help- shelters don't just give shelter anymore- they help with job search, life skills, getting housing vouchers etc.

[Lillycat]

i agree w/kfamr