trayi52
04-18-2004, 01:56 PM
Ladies vs. Real Women
Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,
drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
instant
"fix-me-up."
Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too
damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and
you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
************************************************** ***********
Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You
might
still have the headache, but who cares?
************************************************** ***********
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to
prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
Pete's sake. You are probably lying your ass on the couch, with your
feet up anyway.
************************************************** ***********
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
the
potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry
about
the potatoes growing arms and legs.
************************************************** ***********
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
bit
of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the
inside of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery -- they'll even decorate the son*******
for
you.
************************************************** ***********
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
yield
a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites over ****, so I don't do it.
************************************************** ***********
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
dishwashing
gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.
************************************************** ***********
And finally the most important tip....
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes
for
future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine??
************************************************** ***********
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend
will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
:p ;)
Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,
drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
instant
"fix-me-up."
Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too
damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and
you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
************************************************** ***********
Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You
might
still have the headache, but who cares?
************************************************** ***********
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to
prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
Pete's sake. You are probably lying your ass on the couch, with your
feet up anyway.
************************************************** ***********
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
the
potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry
about
the potatoes growing arms and legs.
************************************************** ***********
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
bit
of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the
inside of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery -- they'll even decorate the son*******
for
you.
************************************************** ***********
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
yield
a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites over ****, so I don't do it.
************************************************** ***********
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
dishwashing
gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.
************************************************** ***********
And finally the most important tip....
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes
for
future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine??
************************************************** ***********
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend
will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
:p ;)