North VS South

[trayi52]

The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses

The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has double last names, The South has double first names.

The North has Ted Kennedy, The South has Jesse Helms.

The North has Indy car races, The South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.

The North has green salads, The South has collard greens

The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads.

The North has the rust belt, The South has the Bible Belt.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH -----------

In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they
live for

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store
....do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's"
is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round c'heer, are ya?"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to
use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. Theycan't
understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," as in "big'ol" truck or "big'ol"
boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way.
All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should
stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever
say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest
accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery
store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have
to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns,
they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn
is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:

If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will
accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the
oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

[Pam]

Very very cute Tray! I can't wait for Logan to read this!!! Though I am a northerner by birth, my mom and her family are from Virginia which we all consider South (after all it is south of here!) I love the southern accent! When my mom would go spend a week or two with her sister she always picked her accent right back up, although many people could still detect it up here even after decades of being a northerner! Thanks for the laughs this morning! :)

[jenluckenbach]

CRAWDADS.........LOL LOL

I love it :D:D:D

[catnapper]

Originally posted by trayi52
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to
use it.

Grant's making breakfast right now... bacon and eggs. What should I do with the grease? Anybody interested can PM me and I'll send it to ya'll ;)

[micki76]

Originally posted by catnapper
Grant's making breakfast right now... bacon and eggs. What should I do with the grease? Anybody interested can PM me and I'll send it to ya'll ;)

Now see, that's a Yankee for ya. You misspelled y'all. ;) LOL

Willie those are too darn funny! And true, too!

Mmmm crawdad’s. Monday night is all you can eat at Pappadeaux here and we go once a month. Hubby would go once a week. :)

[catnapper]

Originally posted by micki76
Now see, that's a Yankee for ya. You misspelled y'all. ;) LOL


Oh well, I tried! they didn't teach Southern Contractions in school:D

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by Pam
Very very cute Tray! I can't wait for Logan to read this!!! Though I am a northerner by birth, my mom and her family are from Virginia which we all consider South (after all it is south of here!) I love the southern accent! When my mom would go spend a week or two with her sister she always picked her accent right back up, although many people could still detect it up here even after decades of being a northerner! Thanks for the laughs this morning! :)


He he he...we consider Kentucky, our bordering state not 10 minutes away the south!

[bluekat]

LOL, those are interesting:D

[Corinna]

My Arky son -in- law to be will love this. I'm starting to hear ya'all 's from the daughter. and big-oles too.

[amoore]

LOL! That is cute Willie! Thanks for sharing.:)

[trayi52]

I have a friend here that I talk to on messenger, and he used to would start talking ''red neck'', and I told him one time, ''I just love it when you talk red neck to me, it just turns me on'', his wife said he spent an hour writing me a letter trying to get it just right in red neck. I thought that was so funny, and Becky, his wife was just rolling because it took him so long to write the e-mail. Its funny, he really has that accent!

Willie

[amoore]

Funny! LOL! :D

[Fox-Gal]

Originally posted by trayi52

The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.

The North has green salads, The South has collard greens




LOL

It's true, I never had grits or collard greens till I moved down here. I use to think collard greens was just something they made up on the "Beverly Hill Billy show", that a possum stew. :o

[Lissa]

I moved from a small town south of Dayton Ohio to Michigan, and I couldn't believe how different it is! I got teased a lot about my accent to contractions....They did forget one on that list. If it ends in -ing, remove the g and add an '.
Oh and in the north you drive your new car to school. In the south you drive your new tractor. And yes they really did that at my school.

[Cincy'sMom]

Originally posted by Cataholic
He he he...we consider Kentucky, our bordering state not 10 minutes away the south!

We are you kidding? Kentucky is just a suburb of Cincinnati!!! Don't try to claim yourself as northeren!!!

[Twisterdog]

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

*snort*

If that were only true! ;)








Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns,
they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

This is also applicable in Wyoming and Montana.

[Desert Arabian]

That made me laugh, JA DER HEY! :D

[trayi52]

YellowLabLover, I love your Sig!

[2kitties]

This is wonderful! I'm going to print it out and keep it.

I'm southern born and raised. I feel completely misplaced here in Wisconsin. Even waitresses just look at me as if I'm from outer space when I speak. And, please understand, while I speak "southern" I do not speak "redneck." I manage to complete sentences and use correct grammer, save a few slang words. I don't know what the people here in Wisconsin would do if they actually came face to face with a real redneck!

I "came out" like good southern girls do in a lilly white dress on the arm of my daddy. I have a college degree and no part of my family is inbred. I do not own guns, nor was I taught to shoot them as a child. However, I fully believe that- yes- some people just need killin' so havin' a gun round the house might just come in handy!

One more thing- I DARE ya'll to present me with a man I cain't charm out of 20 bucks just by talkin' shuuugary to 'im!

I can do almost anything with sweet potatoes, and shrimp & grits is my on my list of favorites.

And catnapper- you'll want to use that bacon grease to make gravy or to season your green beans. :)

[trayi52]

2kitties, Now that is funny!! I have a couple of brother-in-laws that was delivering furniture into Canada, they said that people was asking them if they wanted some ''taters'', I thought that was just the funniest thing.

Yeap, those thar dripping sure do make good gravy and make them beans taste mighty good!! ;)

Willie

[Desert Arabian]

Originally posted by trayi52
YellowLabLover, I love your Sig!

Thanks. Ma took the picture on Sunday. :D

[Logan]

Too funny, Willie!!!! The only thing wrong is that we did finally get Jesse Helms to retire. When are you Yankees going to do the same thing with Ted Kennedy????? :p

[trayi52]

I nary knew I was a yankee, I thought I'se was a red neck!! All deses yers, I been believing I was a red neck. I'se from Tennessee!;)

[trayi52]

Besides I thought that old geezer, Ted Kennedy was daed already!!;)

[ramanth]

Originally posted by trayi52
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH -----------

In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they
live for.
FOR SOUTHERNERS MOVING NORTH.....

If you're flying down the highway with snow on the ground and you end up in a ditch, don't be offended when a Michigander will slow down long enough to make sure you're still breathing, and then will smile and wave and drive off. It's what we live for. :eek: :p ;) :D


(Yes, my dad does this to those that speed on icy roads)

[micki76]

Great, it's 9:30 in the morning and my tummy is growling for good green beans!

[2kitties]

Originally posted by ramanth Originally posted by trayi52
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH -----------

In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they
live for.
FOR SOUTHERNERS MOVING NORTH.....

If you're flying down the highway with snow on the ground and you end up in a ditch, don't be offended when a Michigander will slow down long enough to make sure you're still breathing, and then will smile and wave and drive off. It's what we live for. :eek: :p ;) :D

I guess what strikes me is that while these are seemingly similar situations- the southerners are being helpful and the northerners are begin mean.:D

[ramanth]

Originally posted by 2kitties
I guess what strikes me is that while these are seemingly similar situations- the southerners are being helpful and the northerners are begin mean.:D
Not all us northerners are mean. I stopped for two accidents this past winter. Both happened right in front of me.

But seriously.. if you had someone in an SUV riding your bumper on an icy road and they passed you going 100 mph and ended up in a ditch... wouldn't you clap too? :D

[2kitties]

Na, I probably wouldn't clap. I'd just yell out the window at them and tell em they need killin! rofl!:D