Brothers... love 'em hate 'em

[catnapper]

Right now, I'm not too fond of my only sibling. He and I have always been opposites. I spent my childhood thinking life was good and he spent it counting the ways mom was just terrible. He started making mom misreable and feeling guilty in his late teens/early twenties and mom is now to the point that she bends over backwards to make him happy. And now that he gave her a grandson, she's been even more annoying.:mad:

Anyhow, he sees my mom all the time since they live only a few miles apart. I am not at all jealous of their ability to see each other since I live nearly 2 hours away.

Now that you have a bit of background and set-up, here's what I'm mad about (and I'm hoping for some suggestions as to what to do) I am planning on renting a booth at the Baby Expo - there'll be 10,000 people roaming through the expo center that weekend. I will be showing my portraits and hoping to get some exposure and lots of new work. Its from Friday morning to Sunday afternoon.... a looong weekend. Mom is taking off Friday to be there for me, and will spend most of Saturday. I will be having my husband and step-daughters there throughout the weekend too. On Sunday, Grant is taking his entire class to a baseball game (so he obviously won't be there.) I told mom that he had this set-up months ago and asked her if she could please sit with me again Sunday. She immediately agreed... both because she wants to help me on "my big day" and because she wants to be with me as long as possible because she hardly ever sees me anymore.

Anyhow, my brother got tickets to the circus for the same weekend. He asked mom and she told him no, that she'd be helping me. Then he must have laid a guilt trip on her because she called me asking if I'd mind her not coming Sunday. I said, "yes I do mind because I really really need you there." She told me that she honestly doesn't like the circus and that she thinks the baby's too young to enjoy it anyway. So she agreed to stay with me.

Half an hour later, my brother calls flipping out about it!:( He said that mom wanted to go but is making light of it because she doesn't want to upset me. Then he told me about how she promised a long time ago that she'd go with him to the circus (BTW - all his inlaws will be there with their kids, etc. Why should my mom tag along? Sounds like the perfect day for the wife's side of the family.) He's laying a major guilt trip on me. I don't think I can do anything but agree to let mom go with him (the big drama king that he is.) If I still request mom spend the day with me, then I come across as a slefish inconsiderate person. His rant was left on voince mail since he called my other line and I didn't hear it ring.

If any of you have ever worked a whole weekend at a convention or trade show, you know that they are emotionally and physically draining. I REALLY could use anybody and everybody whenever possible. My brother has worked trade shows and is more than aware of how exhausting they are... last year, he worked the same expo (his company was a sponsor) and he had to take 2 days off from work to recouperate (poor baby)

Please - I need opinions as outsiders see the situation. I know my brother and I have our "issues" so I don't want to react based on our history.

Sorry I went on so long.:(

[wolfsoul]

I think that your brother is being very selfish. Don't be afraid of what he thinks of you. Your mom already said she'd go with you, and that's that. End of conversation. If he wants to complain, let him complain to your mom. In the end it's really her decision. But try and explain to her that you need her at the expo much more than he needs her at the circus. As you said, he already has a group going with him, and techinally he doesn't even need them there with him at all. You need all the help you can get. Don't think your being selfish. :)

[catnapper]

Thanks wolfsoul. I just got off the phone with my mom. I told her about his phone call and she was surprised to say the least. She had no idea he would have called and said that to me (my brother has called my house all of three times in the last year--- once about the cirus.:rolleyes: ) She says that she'll talk to him and tell him that even though she'd like to go to the circus with him, that she really thinks she should be with me. I'll let you know how THAT conversation goes!!!

Why does family have to be such a difficult thing? Hmm.... we all know each other's hot buttons and know exactly how to push them to get a reaction.:p

[lv4dogs]

Sounds like your mom bneeds to stand up for herself & sounds like your brother needs to grow up. I think this would be good for both of them (no matter what they may say).

it sounds like it would be good for you too, you need the help & you get to spend time together.

I wouldnt let this bother you.

[Killearn Kitties]

Based on what you have said here, I would call my mum and say "I really need you to support me at this exhibition. Brother has heaps of people with him." At the end of the day, I really wouldn't worry all that much about what he phoned me to say. Yes, these things are upsetting, but that's the way it goes. You can't please all the people, all the time! Families are difficult. We are never going to get on with everyone just because we were born into the same family!

And, yes, I think your brother is being phenomenally childish.

If I lived closer, I would be there!

[catnapper]

Originally posted by Killearn Kitties

If I lived closer, I would be there!

Aww... thank you for the offer!:) If you lived closer, I might take you up on your offer. I am looking forward to the weekend because it'll be my first major thing for my art business, but I'm not looking forward to it because conventions and shows take sooo much out of a person. After a while, you get tired of hearing yourself saying the same spiel.

As for my brother well, he's him. Even my mom said "don't worry about it. He's just being him." But Grrr.... if I had pulled the same stunt with him?

Oooh, good story about my brother,. A few years ago, we had a big party for my daughter's 13th brithday. We bought tickets to a local hockey game and told him a million times what day & time they were for. the NIGHT BEFORE, he calls and asks if we mind if he doesn't come because (get this) the Eagles were in the playoff game and <gasp> he'd miss the Eagles play to go to a teenager's party. Well, sorry, it was a big deal to her and me. So he stayed home, we paid for two un-used tickets, and the Eagles lost.

On my son's 16th brithday party, they decided to announce they were pregnant, complete with passing around pictures of the ultra sound. I thought they could have waited until the next day because everybody except my parents, me, hubby, and the kids were complete strangers.... here he is passing pictures around to strangers! He couldn't stand the thought of letting my kids have a nice day for themselves without stepping up and making about HIM. :rolleyes:

That is my brother... so of course he'd have to pick that weekend to go to the cirus... because that weekend is MY big weekend, and obviously Kim can't have something nice for herself.:rolleyes:

[rg_girlca]

Brothers eh Kim, you're lucky you only have one. I have four.
You're brother IS very selfish. I'm so glad that you're mom, in the end, stood her ground and is staying with you. As you have said, your brother, that's him. So let it be.
So if I were in your situation, I would enjoy my day with my mom and leave everything else behind me.
BTW, I hope that you have a super weekend and that you're works of art do well. Which i'm sure they will.
Good luck to you and enjoy your weekend.