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trayi52
03-09-2004, 01:51 AM
...to make a life a little bit easier!



Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.

Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork and rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following morning you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).

Color coordinate your pet with your furniture and carpets. That way, the hair won't show if you don't regularly sweep it up.

;)

Cookiebaker
03-09-2004, 06:48 AM
:D

I loved this one:


Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

Randi
03-09-2004, 06:55 AM
Originally posted by trayi52
Color coordinate your pet with your furniture and carpets. That way, the hair won't show if you don't regularly sweep it up.
;)
I have already done that! ;) :D

amoore
03-09-2004, 08:19 AM
Originally posted by trayi52
...to make a life a little bit easier!


Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.



;)

LOL! I wonder if thats what some of the drivers here do? I have seen that kind of driving going here.:D

bluekat
03-09-2004, 03:55 PM
LOL! I love them all!:D

catnapper
03-09-2004, 04:19 PM
Originally posted by trayi52

Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).
;)

Well, my husband's been doing it ALL wrong for years! hmmm... how will I get his piggies red without him kicking up too much fuss....:confused:

Cincy'sMom
03-09-2004, 04:40 PM
Those are great!!! I have thought of doing the house in black and white to hide dog hair...problem is the white air would show up on black and the black hair on white. Oh well!!!