**Rant**

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

GRR! I am really mad at my mom.

She comes to pick us up from my dad's and I go, "Mom, have you at least changed Charlie's water since I've been to your house? (Which was Wednesday). She goes "No."

Now, I may be wrong, but the water needs to be changed every day in my mind. She just DOESN'T UNDERSTAND that she NEEDS to take more responsibility with this bird. The cage hasn't been CLEANED since I've been here. It makes me so mad. I know the cage is supposed to be cleaned every week, but GRR! She makes me so mad!

But THEN-- oh yes, there's a "but then"...

We go to KMart to get my bro some jeans. I ask for this Digi camera (Canon Powershot a10 I think...) They KNOW I've wanted one for so long... and it was on sale for $105... I was in shock! I was like "Mom, this is the best camera you can get, it comes with a hook up and a memory card." She says no, she can't afford it. I understand, and we keep moving.

Don't call me selfish, but wouldn't you be mad? Keep reading.

So we can't afford this camera right now (understandable.) But then, she goes and picks up a rug (FOR OUR CARPETED LIVING ROOM) and some stupid cushions, and all together, she buys this crap and it comes out to $167.

AND WE CAN'T AFFORD IT, HUH?

Then on top of that, she buys my bro some Pokemon cards.

:mad: :mad: :mad:

[popcornbird]

She hasn't changed the bird's water since Wednesday?!?! :eek: WHAT?!?! :(:(:(

Is the water in a bowl or in a water bottle? If its in a water bottle, it can stay ok for several days because the bird cannot get anything in it, and mold/bacteria takes longer to grow in closed bottles, however, if its in a water bowl, it needs to be changed once a day at minimum. I change my birds' water sometimes even 3 times a day, because they like to throw food in it, which can cause bacteria growth, and can make the animal sick. Bacteria grows FAST in water, and not changing his water can be harmful for his health. You NEED to have your mother change his water on daily bases. Seriously.

Food and water should be changed daily.

:(

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

I know, and I'm trying so hard. She can't get it through her head that it needs to be changed. And Charlie has a dish, not a bottle. Well I cleaned up his cage and his water and food dishes.

I was putting the paper on the bottom, and I taped the paper (I always do, just so it stays on) and she goes "You don't need that much tape and paper" and I was like "Mom, if you aren't going to clean his cage, then I am, and I will do what I want."

GRRRR! I'm off to lecture her now.

[popcornbird]

Be careful about the tape. Some tapes are toxic and cockatiels like to chew on such things. I've never taped the paper onto their cage tray...........its stays there just fine. What kind of paper are you using? Kitchen paper towel, or newspaper with black print only make the best and safest cage liners for birds.

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Yep, we use newspaper. And I only put tape on the side that Charlie doesn't step on. He likes to read the newspaper... hehe..

Please don't be mad at me about this whole situation.. :(

[popcornbird]

Originally posted by ILoveMyAbbyGirl


Please don't be mad at me about this whole situation.. :(

I'm not mad at you at all. Just upset about your mom not changing his water for 4 days. That is something that's obvious.........common sense, that one should know even if they don't know a thing about birds in general. Bacteria grows fast in water, and it HAS to be changed EVERY day, no matter what. Birds can get sick by drinking dirty water, just like humans can. The rule is, if you won't drink it yourself, don't give it to the bird either.

[catnapper]

Well, ask her if she wants to drink the same water every day for a week that has backwash in it as well as a myriad of other things. EEWww.

And from a mother's point of view: She's trying so very hard to make her new apartment feel like a home. I have area rugs on my wall to wall carpets... thats because these areas are either
1. high traffic areas and I want to protect the carpet from wear/constant stains
2. The carpet already has stains that I want to cover... my bedroom has an area carpet because I dropped a hot iron that melted the fibers (I dropped it a few times) and I spilled a bottle of India Ink on the same carpet. :o I'm a klutz, what can I say?
3. The carpet is not something she'd have chosen herself, but the area rug will blend the furniture and her carpet ok and she'll be able to live with it.
I have bought these carpets while shopping with my kids. Each time, they wanted something too that got answered with "We don't have the money." What you don't know is that perhaps your mom worked overtime last week just so that she could get this. Ot that she saved $20 here and there just for the carpet.

Now, that said, if she bought the carpet on the spur of the moment, then you have reason to be annoyed.

I've thought about that camera for my daughter, but won't because she'll be costing me a fortune in ink and paper to print everything or another fortune running to Walmart for prints every week. She'd take a gazillion pictures (like I do) but instead of chosing one or two to print, she'd print them all:rolleyes: I know that and so does she.:D

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Originally posted by popcornbird
I'm not mad at you at all. Just upset about your mom not changing his water for 4 days. That is something that's obvious.........common sense, that one should know even if they don't know a thing about birds in general. Bacteria grows fast in water, and it HAS to be changed EVERY day, no matter what. Birds can get sick by drinking dirty water, just like humans can. The rule is, if you won't drink it yourself, don't give it to the bird either.

Yep, that's what I told her. If you won't drink it, don't make him. Hopefully she gets it now. Charlie's peacefully sleeping on my shoulder now. :)

[popcornbird]

Awww. He sounds so cute! I thought we were getting pics of him on Saturday (today). ;)

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

:( Dad forgot to bring the digi cam home. That's why I asked my mom to buy that one for me :( Sorry guys. Maybe we can hold off till next weekend?

[popcornbird]

Awww. :( I was so looking forward to seeing pics of him today! Guess I'll have to be patient. :p

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

I know! And I've been DYING to show off my birdie boy... :) Sorry guys! Maybe I can get him to bring home the cam sometime this week. :)

[Twisterdog]

Now, that said, if she bought the carpet on the spur of the moment, then you have reason to be annoyed.

I'm sorry, but speaking as a single parent, I have to disagree with that. I don't think a child ever has a right to be annoyed because his/her parent refused to buy him/her a $100 digital camera. Perhaps the parent has good reason to say no.

Parents are in charge of the money, the bills, making ends meet. Parents are also the ones setting the budget and prioritizing spending. If her mom felt that items for the home were more important than a digital camera, then that is her right, as a parent. It is not a child's right to expect expensive purchases that aren't necessary.

My son wants a cell phone. He is not getting one. I have valid reasons for saying no, and that is my right as a parent. I feel he is not old enough to need one, or responsible enough to take care of one. I also think the ongoing expense of a cell phone bill is more than we can afford ... the monthly bills, the extra minutes, etc. Just like the good examples of the printer paper and cartridges associated with the digital camera. Many times the initial cost of the item is small compared with the ongoing expenses.

Maybe you could offer to pay part of the cost of the camera yourself? If you get an allowance, you could save the money and show your mom that you can contribute some money towards the purchase. Or, you could offer to do extra chores or work to "pay" for part of the camera. Parents often want to see responsibility and initiative displayed, more so than they just don't want to spend the money.

[Corinna]

AMEN Twisterdog! I say if you need it find odd jobs and buy it yourself.

[GoldenRetrLuver]

Why can't Charlie stay where you are?
I'm sorry. :( Your mom doesn't sound like a very responsible person. Like PCB, I change Piper's water about 3 times a day. I can't stand water to be *that* dirty; same with the dog's water.

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Originally posted by Twisterdog
I'm sorry, but speaking as a single parent, I have to disagree with that. I don't think a child ever has a right to be annoyed because his/her parent refused to buy him/her a $100 digital camera. Perhaps the parent has good reason to say no.

Parents are in charge of the money, the bills, making ends meet. Parents are also the ones setting the budget and prioritizing spending. If her mom felt that items for the home were more important than a digital camera, then that is her right, as a parent. It is not a child's right to expect expensive purchases that aren't necessary.

My son wants a cell phone. He is not getting one. I have valid reasons for saying no, and that is my right as a parent. I feel he is not old enough to need one, or responsible enough to take care of one. I also think the ongoing expense of a cell phone bill is more than we can afford ... the monthly bills, the extra minutes, etc. Just like the good examples of the printer paper and cartridges associated with the digital camera. Many times the initial cost of the item is small compared with the ongoing expenses.

Maybe you could offer to pay part of the cost of the camera yourself? If you get an allowance, you could save the money and show your mom that you can contribute some money towards the purchase. Or, you could offer to do extra chores or work to "pay" for part of the camera. Parents often want to see responsibility and initiative displayed, more so than they just don't want to spend the money.

I am. I'm saving up for it myself. I offered to pay her back.

And no, I think I do have the right to be annoyed, because she tells me she can't afford it, then she goes and spends $167 on stupid crap like seat cushions and the rug.

[K9soul]

Since having my own home, I have come to understand how much little things to make a home a more enjoyable place can be. I don't know both sides to this situation and I dont' know the people involved so it's hard to make any real judgement on it.

I do know that my own mother would plan and save up sometimes to get things that she would really like for the house, like a new carpet for under the dining room table or nice sofa cushions to replace the old ratty ones. Things like that I didn't really see the point of until I got my own home. Now I really understand it a lot better.

It could be your mom was going to the store with plans to get a few things she had been wanting to for the house, and when she said she 'couldn't afford' the camera, she meant could not afford it in addition to what she already had planned to buy?

If she really could have afforded it easily, but didn't want to buy it and then impulsively bought the other things, that's of course within her rights, but in that case I think she should be up front with you and say "I'd rather not spend the money on that right now." But then she might not have wanted to say that for fear of causing conflict and argument, so she just said she couldn't afford it.

Again it's hard for me to really come to any conclusions. I don't know your mother or you personally.

Anyway, I do wish you the best and hope you will end up with the camera you are wanting soon :)

[catnapper]

Originally posted by ILoveMyAbbyGirl
I am. I'm saving up for it myself. I offered to pay her back.

And no, I think I do have the right to be annoyed, because she tells me she can't afford it, then she goes and spends $167 on stupid crap like seat cushions and the rug.

Great for you to save up... you'll appreciate it all the more when you finally get it.

As for your right to be angry, just wait a few years til you're out on your own. Just wait til you have kids someday. Its a whole different world. I suggested that she had been saving for it for a while, as did k9soul... please be honest with your mom and say that your hurt. Ask her if this was an impulse buy or if she really had plans on doing that. I know that it may seem unfair.

I myself have done the exact same thing your mother did, my kids weren't happy either. But they understand that the house is important. They too want the house looking nice so that they can be proud to bring their friends home, and feel comfortable. Before I spent any money on the house, none of my kids ever wanted to bring anybody over. They were embarassed. Maybe your mom is embarrased that she left her home - her ESTABLISHED home that was done and everything just her way. She left to go to a small apartment that is not what she is used to. Indulge her for a while. This is a time that everyone is hurt, and everyone is not going to understand each other.

Like I said, you will find a huge sense of satisfaction and pride when you buy it for yourself. Its one thing to be handed something, another to work very hard for it.

Oh, and an added bonus? By the time you have enough money, it should be on sale (technology tends to go on sale real fast once its considered "old" - there's nothing wrong with the camera, its still the same great camera, just considered by techies to be old:D ) You can use the extra money for an unexpected splurge!;)

[Uabassoon]

And no, I think I do have the right to be annoyed, because she tells me she can't afford it, then she goes and spends $167 on stupid crap like seat cushions and the rug.

While I think everyone has the right to be annoyed because everyone is entitled to their own feelings, I don't think you should be mad at your mom for this. That is HER money, she works for it and it's her desicion to decide how she spents it. As a parent it's her job to give you the things you NEED not want. So you shouldn't be upset because your mom doesn't want to use her money to get you something that you want because she wants something for herself. You mom deserves to buy the things that she wants with her money.

[guster girl]

Someone else asked this already, but, I didn't see an answer yet. Why can't Charlie stay where you are? If the bird is yours, and, he has daily care needs, why can't you take him with you? Some people just don't have the desire to take care of pets and it doesn't make them bad people, just people that shouldn't own pets. If it's your mom's pet and she's neglecting it, than bad on her. But, if he's your bird, you should find somewhere to take him that he will get the care he needs, if you can't take him with you. I've had to take my pets in the past to friends or kennels or the vet's office because my brother or other family member in my home would not take care of them like I would like. I'm not saying it's not irresponsible of your mom to not change the water, but, if you know that she's not going to do it, maybe next time, you could find a friend that would take better care of him.

And, as for the whole camera/carpet thing. It's her money and she should be able to spend it as she wants. As for her wording as to why she wouldn't get you the camera....she could have said something like "I've been wanting to get these things for my home, and, I can't afford to buy you a camera and myself the decorations", instead of just saying she could not afford it. It's just sometimes better to specify. But, just because it's not something you want, it's not fair of you to say the decorations are "stupid crap." It's kindof disrespectful. I mean, I don't know you or your family, but, that's just a typical kid reaction. Try putting yourself in her shoes. I mean, if she's not feeding you because she spent all her money on rugs and pillows, that's completely different. Anyway, just my thoughts.

[Dogz]

I am not going to touch the camera thing, although I hope you get one!:)

As for Charlie, I hope you can talk your mom into changing his water. I change Nelly's water 1-3 times a day. As for taping the newspaper, I think that would be ok for in my cage, since my newspaper is under his top tray.:)

Good luck with your mom!