Edwina's Secretary
02-25-2004, 04:35 PM
I know, I know...there is a joke thread somewhere...indulge me. I'm starting a new one....
Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road.
The
sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home.
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Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
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**************************
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a
pair of
genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the
high
prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of
the
shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own
alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and
catch
yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the
swamps,
set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the
young
woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw
a
huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the
creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.
Lying
nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in
amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and
frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
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**************************
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show
in a
small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's
going
through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row
stands
on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde
jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does
the
color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's
guys
like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the
community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and
your
kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but
women
in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde
yells,
''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your
knee!''
************************************************** ******************************
***************************
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a
baby.
One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to
the
hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end,
there
were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the
other
father!?!"
Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road.
The
sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home.
************************************************** ******************************
**************************
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
************************************************** ******************************
**************************
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a
pair of
genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the
high
prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of
the
shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own
alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and
catch
yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the
swamps,
set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the
young
woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw
a
huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the
creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.
Lying
nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in
amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and
frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
************************************************** ******************************
**************************
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show
in a
small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's
going
through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row
stands
on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde
jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does
the
color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's
guys
like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the
community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and
your
kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but
women
in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde
yells,
''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your
knee!''
************************************************** ******************************
***************************
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a
baby.
One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to
the
hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end,
there
were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the
other
father!?!"