Please help me with David's birthday...

[Tonya]

My husband's bestfriend, David will turn 21 at the end of this month. He's a really good guy...I love him to death. So does my hubby, but he'll never admit it. lol.

It's kind of awkards right now, because he's in that make up and break up phase of a divorce...I know the final result will be a divorce, but his Christian beliefs are causing him to hold on a little longer and put up with ALOT.

Anyways, I want to do something really special for him. But I really don't know what to do. Gosh knows rather he'll be made up or broken up with the *cough* cheater wife. Odds are 99.9% that he'll be broken up, since she dumps him every day.

Anyways, how can we do something special for him. And *try* to as properly as possible exclude her? I can guarantee you 110% sure that if she's around, she'll ruin his birthday. She is VERY verbally and physically abusive.

[Kfamr]

It's really too bad that he puts up with that sort of stuff. :( No one deserves that.

Tells us more about him -- What he likes, what he enjoys to do and so on -- then maybe I could come up with some ides that could exclude the cheater.

[trayi52]

Tonya, he sounds so much like my son. He has a wife like that, except they are divorced now, but he is living with her again. She is abusive phically and verbally. I have had my battles with her myself. She is not the mother of my grandchildren. My son drove truck trying to pay for his children a trailer while they were broke up. I took care of 3 grandchildren at that time. She would always call back and say I love you please come back. So off went my poor old dumb son.

I told him she would take everything he had, well she did. While he was away, he sent the money to pay the trailer off, she went and paid it off, put the trailer in her name. So then she kicked him back out again. They stayed apart for a long time, almost a year. Divorce final, but he is back living with her again. Damn it hurts sometimes to be a mother!

I really feel for your friend David, and he is going through this at such a young age. Did I tell you? My daughter Lin is wearing an engagement ring. Her and her boyfriend are planning on getting married in about 18 months. I hope thay keep it a very long engagement.

I can't help with the party thing, but I can certainly feel sorry for the guy.

Willie

[DoggiesAreTheBest]

I am sorry to hear about the situation your friend is in. It is very difficult to see people you care for get hurt over and over again.
Perhaps a night or weekend with the guys is a good way to exclude the wife. That means you wouldn't be able to go along, though.

Maybe your husband can arrange something for the both of them to just get out of town on a guys night out.

Another idea. But I have to ask if David knows that you don't like his wife. If he does, you can just say we are having a birthday dinner for you at the house and your wife is not invited. That would be akward to tell him, but you have the right not to have her at your home.

Whatever you end up doing, I am sure David will appreciate it.

[ramanth]

What are his likes and dislikes? How about ya'll just wisking him away for the day and doting on him... dinner, movies, or whatever it is he likes to do in his freetime. :)

[G.P.girl]

take him to hooters! just kidding:o you could do something with him that the cheater doens't like to do. like if she doesn't like hiking nd he does, take him hiking. or just do it when she's not around...i'm not very creative whenit comes to stuff like this, sorry:o ;)

[Tonya]

Well, David knows we don't like her. She doesn't know though. We're nice to her when she comes over. They actually don't live together at the minute.

Just two stories (vent, sorry) that happened this week alone. She was graduating from her college. (I don't know what kind, wierd time of year to graduate...) Anyways, she never specifially invited David to the graduation and party. So David (I witnessed this) nicely said "Ummm, do you want me to go to your graduation, you didn't really invite me?" She goes "That's because you aren't invited." WTF!?

Another day, he calls her and goes "I'm going to watch Jaden for an hour while Mike goes to the doctor, and then I'll be home..." She goes "WTF are you telling me for?" David says "Because you are my wife." She said "So, I don't care where you are."

I could go on and on. You wouldn't believe what her four-five year old son told me the day I babysat him. I heard all kinds of "Shhh, we're not supposed to tell David, but guess what..."

[Tonya]

LOL, back to the subject...I got off track.

Hmmm, he enjoys...dogs, motorcycles, Xbox, movies, and my cooking.

I just discovered a dog park yesterday! I forgot to tell you all. Maybe I'll make him his favorite meal and surprise him with a trip to the dog park.

Aside from that, maybe this does need to be a guys trip. Wouldn't hurt. My husband never goes out without me much.

Trayi, I'm sorry to hear about your son. His wife sounds alot like Davids. It must be hard watching your child get hurt. Hopefully he'll get tired of it sooner or later. Congrats on your daughter's engagement...how old is she?

[DoggiesAreTheBest]

Now that I know that she isn't living with him anymore, then there is no problem of just inviting him to do something alone. I was under the impression they were still living together.

[Karen]

Absolutely take him to the dog park, make him his favorite dinner, then send him and your sweetie out for a "boys only" something. Letting him know he is loved and cared for is the best thing you can do, in my humble opinion. Try not to bring HER up in conversation unless he wants to, focus on him!

[amoore]

Tonya, I like Karens Idea really well. That sounds special.:)

[trayi52]

Yes, I like Karens idea too. Sounds like a winner to me.

Tonya, Lindsey is 18! The way she talks they are going to wait until one of Sams brothers is back in town, he is being deployed somewhere. I don't know where though, I forgot! But anyway he is supposed to be gone for 18 months, so hopefully that will give her the time to get to know him and see if this is really what she wants. The good thing is that Lin is a very responsible young lady. She works and is paying for her own automobile. I really am proud of her. But she is my baby, and I don't want her to get married until she is 30!LOL.

I told her the other night, that I wouldn't sign for her to get married and she said "Mama, you don't have to sign for me to get married anymore", and I told her"Lin, I have lied to you all these years, you were really born in 1987, and your adopted and your mothers name is , well I forget what I told her about that, and her dads name was Charlie Brown. She didn't go for it....Funny my kids think I am crazy?? I wonder why????

Okay, I am way off the subject here... Sorry about that!

Like I said that would be a very good thing to do for David, he might just open up to the guys about what his cheater is and actually take some advice from them, who knows, it could happen!


Willie