Your thoughts, please...

[Tonya]

I have so much going on in my life right now. I am not going to get into all the woes, but you have all heard a few of them. I am so stressed that I feel like I am going to snap. There is so much that I need to take care of and do, yet it is like I'm shutting down. All I have really done is stared at PT and slept when I should be dealing with all these issues. I've been binging on food, sleeping excessively, and not giving my family the attention they deserve. I am really overwhelmed right now. -More so then ever in my life.

I really wish I can calm down enough to get my thoughts all lined up and all these things taken care of. I am just asking for some thoughts and prayers. Thank you.

[KYS]

Tonya,
Sending many good thoughts that your life
calms down and everything works out.
Please don't shut the people who love
you out. Do you have health-mental coverage for therapy?
Sometimes talking to a professional
can help, and they can give you the tools
to help you get through the bad times.

[Tonya]

Yes, in fact, someone reported sexual harrassment anonymously at work, so I was in a four hour meeting this morning. I pretty much had to tell everything that has happened to me over the past four years. I was so sick when I was done that I came home. (Again.) My work is sending me to some therapist that they send "victims" to.

It's not the actual sexual harrassment part that is making me psycho, it's dealing with all the B.S. that is coming along with this at work.

[trayi52]

Tonya, I don't know what to say, except to say I am very sorry you are going through such a bad time. I am sure your family understands completely.

I guess maybe you are just trying to solve everything at once and it feels like a couple tons of bricks has fell on you, and you are just struggling trying to find you way out from underneath all the stress. Right now you have too much on you, too much going on in your life at the same time.

Just don't try to do everything at once. Try to take it slowly. I know that is easier said than done.

I will be thinking of you Tonya, and worrying about you too. Let me know if you have a particular problem that you want me to take over and worry about. I am really a great worrier!! You can start out with one problem at a time. Trying to solve and work on all at one time can do nothing but confuse you.
My heart really goes out to you.

Willie

[Cataholic]

Tonya,
I know when I am stressed, I find myself in the same self defeating routine you are in now. I eat, procrastinate, stay on PT, sleep. I stop actively participating in real life. I do not think that exercise is the ONLY way to work anything out, but, I do know that a nice walk, run, sweat, whatever it takes keeps me going, keeps me focused, keeps me from sitting in my own stew.

I will be praying for you.
Johanna

[Corinna]

May be that some one did you a favor , it shows it wasn't your imagination. I know its a pain in the arse but it could be a good thing . They can not ignore it any more. talking may help you may not realise how it reall afferted you, I know it was about 6 years before I realised how my incounter affected me.
Your body is telling you you need to relax before it does something you won't like. The body has an early warning system but we mostly ignore it.

[Tonya]

Thank you. My boss told me this morning, "Tonya, you can't take vacation forever, you'll run out of time eventually...You need to try and deal with this." (I have been suspended and/or on vacation days since last Monday.)

Well, I just made a to-do list and a schedule of what I'm doing each day this week. I am going to go lay down, take a fat nap. Wake up, hit the gym...and hope that Dusty and Roxy have the house cleaned and all my issues dealt with by the time I get home. lol. I can hope for a miracle, can't I?

[K9soul]

Tonya,

Sounds like a really rough time for you. I'm not the best at holding up under emotional stress myself. I can handle certain stresses, like challenging 'get something done fast' stress, but when it comes to personal stress such as conflict and emotional stress, I have a really hard time. I get extremely anxious and edgy, don't enjoy anything much, and am consumed by constant nagging thoughts about various situations and worries.

The only way I can really cope during these times is to really get super organizational and take things one bit at a time. I will go so far is make a check list of normal activities, including eating lunch or taking a 15-minute break from working, and check them off as I go. It keeps me focused on the next thing on the list and helps me to take things one step at a time. Every time I cross something off the list, I feel a certain feeling of accomplishment that can really help.

Different things help different people in times of stress, but this is one thing I have found helps me to get focused on the here and now, and leave later for later.

I really feel for you, and hope things get worked through quickly and you can get on with enjoying life.

[K9soul]

OMG you replied while I was replying talking about exactly what I do during tough times.

Geez, I think there's a mental connection between us going on. :p

[lovemyshiba]

Tonya,
I am sorry you are having to go through this rough time right now. Unfortunately, it sounds all too familiar to me. When I'm stressed or upset, I just zone out completely, talking to no one, staring at the tv but not watching it, not wanting to do anything.

I hope you can find someone to talk to, that's what it took for me--and time.

I will keep you in my thoughts, hoping that you can regain your strength and get through this time.

You know I'm only a pm away, and I can give you my email too, or my phone number if you really feel like you need to talk to someone. Don't hesitate to pm me if you feel the need to talk--I'm done with work for the day, and won't be going in until 5pm tomorrow, and I'm sure I'll be around.

Your friend,
Emily

[dukedogsmom]

I don't really have any advice but I do have sympathy. I went through a rough time in my life right after my divorce. I was like you are now for about six months. Don't let it get you too down. It does pass and hopefully, yours won't last as long as mine did. Eventually, you will just realise you can't live like that anymore and will snap out of it. Or at least that's how it was for me. Also, don't be afraid or ashamed to go to counseling. I've been before and it does help.

[tikeyas_mom]

i think that if this job you have is giving you to much stress then quit. Thats a good way to deal with it, by leaving all of it. JMHO

[catland]

It sucks when life gets so overwheming that even simple tasks seem huge.

My recommendation - first a few deep breathes.

That's it.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.


Now, find one simple easy task to do. Really simple. Like cleaning one dish or opening one single piece of mail.

Now you've accomplished something for today.


Take care - you've been through a lot.

[bluekat]

Tonya, I'm sorry that you're going through a rough time.:( I will be sendng good thoughts to you, hop things get better for you soon. I don't really have any advice for you either. Whenever you need to talk or anythig, just remember that we're all here and we'll listen:)

[Fox-Gal]

Again I'm sorry you are going through this all and I know how it some how feels like the whole world is fallling on you, but it's not.

Try to look at each thing seperate see what the worse is that can happen and the best that can happen. Even at it worse I'm willing to bet it not so bad that you can't handle it. If the best comes out of it all, then all the better.

What ever your problems are take each one of them at a time starting with the smallest. Never take on all of them at once you will just get so bogged down that you feel you can't get out and the truth is you can. Solving just one small problem can sometimes give people the strength to handle the next one.

Find someone you trust and respect to talk to when it gets to much, someone that will be honest enought to maybe have to say "Tonya give this one up. Move on"

One day at a time.
One step at a time.
That is all anyone can do.

I'll be thinking about you with finger's X for only good things to come.

[anna_66]

Tonya,
I'm sorry to hear that your having such a hard time with life lately.
I know it's not easy to try and go on, but you have to for you and for your family.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Anna

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Tonya, I know exactly how you feel. I haven't gone to a doctor but I'm sure I have some sort of depression. I break down easily, have mood swings, everything. [[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]] Please feel free to talk to me. :(

[Kfamr]

Tonya --


I'm very, very sorry. I honestly know how you feel to some point.

I know my opinion is nothing of value to you, but I really think you need a new job. I've probably read every single one of your posts, and most of them contain something negative/bad about your job. Just about the only ting I've read good about it is the pay. I really honestly think you need to find a less stressful job, one that fits you more, because you can find good pay somewhere else.

Maybe i've just read it all wrong, but that's what i've gotten from it all. Sorry if I have read it wrong and sorry you're feeling so down.

You have my thoughts. :)

[Tonya]

Originally posted by Kfamr
Tonya --


I'm very, very sorry. I honestly know how you feel to some point.

I know my opinion is nothing of value to you, but I really think you need a new job. I've probably read every single one of your posts, and most of them contain something negative/bad about your job. Just about the only ting I've read good about it is the pay. I really honestly think you need to find a less stressful job, one that fits you more, because you can find good pay somewhere else.

Maybe i've just read it all wrong, but that's what i've gotten from it all. Sorry if I have read it wrong and sorry you're feeling so down.

You have my thoughts. :)

Thank you. Actually, my job is my dream job. I love it. The only two things I've complained about is this particular guy, and that I can't get bit by dogs. Things are just coming to a head with this guy. All the drama that I've had has been somehow related to him. Everything else about my job is humorous and adventurous. :)

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

How do you feel today?

[Tonya]

I'm ok...thank you.

Today wound up being just a phone interview with some guy and my union steward. It's odd because I feel guilty...Like I'm the one that has done something wrong. I hate to bring back the past, but I'm kind of feeling the same emotions that I did when I was raped when I was younger...like people are thinking "She asked for it..." "She's lying..." "She is exaggerating..." etc...I'm so scared and I have a feeling that people are going to have memory lapse. I'm so scared that they aren't going to believe me. I almost feel like I shouldn't have said something. It's hard to explain I guess.

On Monday, the people are coming. They're going to interview everyone at work. My union steward just informed me that Friday is her last day. Then WTF did you take my case for?! It's going to last months I am sure.

[Tonya]

Bump

[trayi52]

Thats something that seems like has been bred into a lot of women, this little doubt inside that makes them believe they were at fault. Look deep down inside of yourself, Tonya. You done nothing wrong!!NOTHING!!

Maybe someday all this bullcrap will quit falling on women, that always makes a man like that butthead try and blame a woman. You were able to perform your job! Just because he thought a woman should not be doing that job made him feel like less of a man. Women were not made to be kept at home and Barefoot and pregnant, like so many buttholes still think. Yes there are still men like that out there..

It has always been my belief that a woman can do anything a man can do, and sometimes better, if she chooses to do so.

Guess what? Men can't do the same thing we can do......LOL!

[Tonya]

LoL. You are so right. I always tease the guys at work. (Well, before all this drama...) that women are much better....We are capable of working, being a mother, a wife, running a household, etc...all at the same time. All men are capable of doing is working. lol.

[trayi52]

Remember the little sign that said something about women work all the time, when men work they put up signs!

My daughter printed that off and hung it in her bedroom. I have tried to teach my daughter to never think themselves to be lower than men. You would think that it would have changed by now. But it hasn't! I think that is the saddest thing.

My husband says he hates to deal with women, like I told him women have to fight to get the respect they deserve. It is men like that, that make a woman have to be tough. I admire tough women. I think they are the greatest. Some men are so dumb, they don't realize they make us have to fight back and if we have to we will fight dirty and go for the jewels.

Jimmy, my hubby knows how to get me riled up. All he has to say is, that is womans work, and he knows I will go off on him...

Willie