My friend died from drinking and driving...

[Tonya]

If you don't read any of this, just please hear the first paragraph. This story is more of a plea then for sympathy. Don't drink and drive. Don't let your friends drink and drive. Please.

I just got news last night that a very good friend of mine died two weeks ago. It took me so long to find out because I don't normally read the obitiuaries and the story of the accident didn't have her name because it took a week to identify her car and body. Also, I don't know if you all remember my friend that I let live with me a few months back, but she was the one calling me like crazy to break the news. I wasn't prepared to talk to her, so I didn't return her calls. I hadn't hung out with Jenny or called her lately because like my other friend, they were starting to party to much for my liking.

Jenny was at our friend Diane's birthday party. She got drunk and left the party in Diane's car. She hit a telephone pole. The power transformer fell on top of her car and exploded. Her body was to badly burned to recognize. The only thing that didn't burn was a ring on her finger that my friend Elly had given her. That is how Elly was able to identify her.

The ironic part is I went on that call out. (I work for the phone company.) We always go out for downed poles. It didn't even (and it never does) cross my mind that someone died when they knock down a pole.

Jenny left behind a two year old son. She had a rough childhood with drug addict parents, so she really didn't leave much family behind. Her only brother died of a drug overdose last year.

As of right now, her loser boyfriend is going to raise the son. I haven't said anything to anyone yet, but I'm mulling over the idea of taking her son. I bet the bf would let me have him. That's a big commitment, so I really have to think about it.

Jenny and her son:

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid96/p92571118818aa3334d3d413e67912cd1/fa1f6868.jpg

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

I am so sorry for such a tragic loss. :(

I will be praying for you. It is a big decision to take her son... but he deserves the best life possible. What a rough time for you..

{{{HUGS}}}:(

[CatDad]

I am so sorry to hear, and my condolances on the loss of your friend.

Thank you for sharing your story. The more that people hear that drinking and driving kills, hopefully, the less it wil happen. Also, when it is a personal story

Good luck in your decision, it is a big one. I'll be praying for you.

[robinh]

Such a tragic loss! For your friend's son and for you, her friend.

My nephew lost his left leg almost to the hip to a drunk driver in May. He's still recovering.

You are a good friend to even contemplate taking her son. He deserves a good life. Sounds to me like he has enough going against him.

I'll echo your works "Please don't drink and drive!" New Years' Eve is the most appropriate time to say that to people again.

[mugsy]

Tonya, I'm sorry for your loss. I have never lost a friend or loved one to a drunk driver, but, still feel very strongly about drinking and driving, and like robin said....a very appropriate time to post. I have decided that we will be in the house by dark and won't go back out until tomorrow. I think we will watch movies at home. Please know that you and your friend will be in my thoughts and prayers.

It is an incredibly generous thing for you to even consider taking her son. I'm sure that he will be much much better off with you and your husband as parents rather than a loser boyfriend (who I am guessing is a partier too).

Good luck and let us know please what you decide.

[ramanth]

Oh Tonya, I'm so sorry. :( *hugs*

My parents and I were first on the scene of a drunk driving accident. A drunk guy in a huge truck hit a car full of students head on. :( They guy even tried to run from the scene.... :mad: The gall of some people.

Never ever drink and drive. :(

[catland]

I feel so bad for that little baby who will never see his mommy again. You are very kind to consider taking him in.

One word of advise on this, get a lawyer. I would hate for you to take in the child, only to have the dad show up on your doorstep in two years demanding his son back. So please, if you do this, get it legal. It would be awful for this little boy to lose his second "mommy" due to a legal technicality.

Also, yes, we all do need to be reminded over and over of the importance of not drinking and driving.



:(

[primabella]

I'm so sorry Tonya *hugs*

Taking in this boy is very considerate of you, but seeing as I don't know enough about you or the boy I can't give any advice on whether you should take him in or not. I do hope that your decision will be the right one. You'll be in my prayers.

[Corinna]

Sorry to hear your story. Glad you are thinking of the boy, but please remember Why you want to raise him,and if he was born to drug addicted parents and grandparents he could have a lot of medical and mental problems. They don't always show up, untill much later. Do also get releases from grandpaernts and father (NOt boyfreind unless he is the father)
I have a freind who raised 2 girls that her boyfriend had after 5 years the mom came back for them , when she had a abusive new husband. My girlfreind had been a stable home for the girls but the stupid state gave them to the bio mom. my freind has since found out that CPS has been 2 steps behind trying to get the kids back . They have been stolen from hospitals as they were being treated for beatings and broken bones from beatings. The oldest was piced up for chold postiution. All becouse My girlfreind and the father never wrote up any legal documents. He had cusdy but when arrested with out the kids , the state of Washington had to be stupid and find the runaway mom.(she left when the younest one was 2 weeks old.) My girlfriend dropped out of school to raise them.
Please get with a Lawyer to do this if you decide to go though it. You can pm me with questions or need ton talk and I'll give you my phone#.
I had to work as the advocate between the familys and court in the case as I was chosen to be a non biased party. I was only 18 at the time. What a mess it was. I always wonder what could I have done differently. I pray for those young ladies always.

[Hoozdat]

I lost my cousin to a drunk driver many years ago. It was on his graduation night. He was the passenger.

People Please dont drink and drive!

What a wonder full thing it would be for a child to have a special person to care and give them the love and influence they will need groing up.

Good Luck

[Kirsten]

I'm so very sorry! :( So sad to learn about such a loss!

It's a tough decision to make about her little son! Poor little boy!

Kirsten

[G.P.girl]

I'm so sorry about your loss:( it's a big decision to take care for her son:( {{{hugs}}}

[green_chameleon_girl]

OMG im so sorry Tonya *hugs*:(

[wolfsoul]

Again, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. :( I really hope that you can get her son; I bet you would take good care of him. :)

[slick]

That's so sad Tonya. I pray that this tragedy does not leave deep scars on the son.

[luckies4me]

I am so sorry for your loss. :(

[trayi52]

Tonya, that is so awful, a nightmare come true. I think we were discussing drunk driving in another thread, favorite drinks I think.

I hope everybody on PT reads this thread, it sure puts another scare into me, something I have always worried about with my kids. I worry so much about them being killed in car accidents I cannot go to bed of a night until they are back in the house. Of course two are living in their own homes now, but anytime I hear a siren and I know they are away from home, I worry.

So many of our young people are killed in drunk driving accidents, like somebody said on here out partying after proms, and nights like tonight. How I wish they knew how dangerous it is to even be on the highway with these drunk drivers.

I am so sorry to hear of your friend dying so tragically. Poor little child to have to be without his mother all because of drinking. I just hope everything turns out good for you and the little boy.

Willie

[kingrattus]

Tonya, I'm sorry for ur loss, & I hope all goes well with her son.

Personally I have no pity on drunk drivers, but the ones they leave behind.

A few years back a pickup truck filled with drunk HS teens were speeding on a HWY (I think it was a HWY), turned off the road & flipped the truck killing everyone but the driver (I think it was 5-7 kids that died). It was put in all kind of diff town news papers, & all they could say was PITY the kids, PITY the driver, boo hoo hoo, the POOR kids & blah blah blah...

I have NO feelings towards drunk drivers at all. One killed my great grandmother, she suffered for 6 years until she finally died from the internal damage & emotional damage. She was stuck in a wheelchair & back in those days they didn't have special transportation for her, so she stayed at home all day long & she use to be very active & out going. One of her legs had to have the bone shortened casue of the damage so thats 1 thing that stopped her from getting around. From that day on she grew iller & iller until she died. I was only 5 & I had spent every summer up north with her, my grandma & my great aunt & great uncle. after she passed I hardly ever went up there.

Drunk drivers deserve what they get & esp if they hurt someone else. :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Tonya]

Thanks everyone. It just makes me so mad that Jenny chose to drink and drive when she had a little boy to take care of. I talked to Mike about it. He says that I should give the father a chance. Perhaps this will be a eye opener for the father and he'll straighten up. Mike says that he has no problem raising the child like his own, but that we should give things time and see how everything turns out.

[Tonya]

Also, I have to vent. WTF were my friends doing letting her drive?! She was driving the birthday girl's vehicle. They gave me the attitude "Well, she insisted." I don't care. I would rather get physical and knock the crap out of my friend...have her hate me a bit then hand her the carkeys. This is exactly why I don't hang out with that crowd anymore.

[Tonya]

Jenny and her baby:

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid96/p92571118818aa3334d3d413e67912cd1/fa1f6868.jpg

From http://www.legacy.com/ModestoBee/LegacySubPage2.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=1726991

JENNIFER SINCLAIR SEPT 2, 1980 - DEC 21, 2003

Jennifer Sinclair, 23 of Modesto passed away early Sunday Morning, December 21 in a single car accident.

She is survived by her 18 month old son Joshua James Walker, her mother Cindy Borba, her father Donald Ray Sinclair, and her sisters Sunshine LeBorde and Christina Martinez.

Memorial service will be held Saturday December 27 at 1:00 pm in Riverbank at Christ The King Church 6443 Estelle. Following service, reception will be for Jenny's friends and family at 2237 Southport Ln., Modesto.

[trayi52]

Tonya, Jennifer was so beautiful. What an awful waste. That is so sad to see that precious little baby, now without his mother.

I am so worried tonight. My daughter Lindsey is having to work tonight at Mcdonalds and she is a closer, so she is going to be on the highways tonight, scares me to death. If something happend to my baby.....I just don't think I would or could survive. I am one of those worriers that imagine horrible things happening and then I sit and wait and worry. I just wish she didn't have to work tonight, this is the first New Years I have been without my little girl.

Sorry I am rambling, like I said I hope EVERYBODY reads this thread tonight! Reality sucks sometimes, and young people need to do reality checks every once in a while.

Willie

[Tonya]

I know what you mean, Willie. I worry too! She'll be fine. Just have to be extra careful tonight.

[trayi52]

Thanks Tonya, for helping me worry! I am just a natural born worrier when it comes to my kids. Did you ever tell you child, 'No don't stand to close to the edge or you'll fall' and sure enough they fall! Power of suggestion? I don't know..

Thank Tonya

Willie

[Tonya]

BUMP

[Miss Meow]

Tonya, I'm so sorry to hear about Jenny.

I hope things work out for the best with her son and his upbringing. Maybe his dad will straighten up and take his responsibility seriously. If not, I'm sure Joshua will need people like you and Mike around to look after him.