*Rant Rant RANT!*

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

My mother is getting on everyones nerves.

[list=a]
She has yet to come to one of my numerous band performances. She came to the concert, but everyone in the city ALSO came.
She doesn't do anything on her own. If she needs cigarettes, my father gets them because she doesn't want to go anywhere. If we need groceries, my father does it. Who cooks? My father. If my dad's gone, we order pizza or get fast food. Who runs to the store when she all of a sudden wants a fricken Ho-ho?? My dad and I.
As I mentioned in the Christmas tradtions thread, we go to church every Christmas Eve. My grandma called my dad and asked if we would like to go to my aunt Deb's church this year instead of ours. My dad agreed, and then when he hung up he asked my mom about it. What does she say? "I don't even want to go, so it doesn't matter. I won't go."
[/list=a]

She makes me sick. Honestly. I asked her to come to my FIRST marching band performance ever, it was so important to me, and she goes, "Meg, I don't want to. Don't make me feel bad about it." I didn't talk to her when I came home.

:(:(:(:(:(:( *sigh*

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

You curse at me,
scream at me,
call me names.
Shatter all esteem I have.
You don't love me.
Don't tell me you do, either.
I see the hatred in your eyes,
burning into my skin.
I close my eyes,
still listening to you scream.
I mentally cover my ears,
for if you saw me cover them,
I would only get yelled at more.
My eyes are still closed.
Intercepting what you are saying.
I don't care.
Just like you've taught me to.
There's tears in my eyes now,
but I cannot let you see me weakening.
My eyes stay closed,
preparing myself for the worst.
The screaming then stops and I open my eyes.
The tears stream down my face. I don't care anymore.
You walk away telling me what to do.
I start to cry harder knowing you don't care.
I will never be exactly what you want.
I can't do anything right, you even told me so.
I can only be what you teach me.
But you teach me nothing.
So that's exactly what I am.
Nothing.

[GoldenRetrLuver]

Aww Meg. :( I'm so sorry. I hope you feel better. Just give Abby a big 'ole hug.


{{{{HUGS}}}} :)

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

She just told me that she didn't like my aunt's Christmas card because it was hand made, and she used torn paper.
:mad:

[Logan]

Meg, I wonder if perhaps your mother is suffering from some sort of depression? If she has lost all interest in everything, it could be that something is really bothering her that she might not even realize herself. I know you are very disappointed that she hasn't been there for you. I'm so sorry. Even the "best" mom makes their kids mad at times. Let her know that you miss having her be more of a part of your life.

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Originally posted by Logan
Meg, I wonder if perhaps your mother is suffering from some sort of depression? If she has lost all interest in everything, it could be that something is really bothering her that she might not even realize herself. I know you are very disappointed that she hasn't been there for you. I'm so sorry. Even the "best" mom makes their kids mad at times. Let her know that you miss having her be more of a part of your life.

As a matter of fact, she DID have depression, and I still think she is taking Zoloft. It is upsetting, but I don't think it is the depression anymore. It's just pure laziness.

<<Sigh>>

[ticosmyham]

Its ok lil Mack, I dont really know what to say, but I hope that you feel better soon!!

[RobiLee]

Meg, I wish I could reach out and hug you right now. I'm sorry that you are going through such a hard time and that you have to deal with this. Please, Please, realize that this has nothing to do with you and that you have done nothing wrong. Your mom sounds like she has some problems to deal with and work out for herself. It is something that she can only do for herself. Never ever say that you are nothing. You can be everything and anything you want to be. Hang in there and be strong. Feel free to rant all you want. We are here for you and if you want you can pm me anytime to talk.

Take care and lots of hugs.....Robin

[Kfamr]

Alot of time laziness IS out of depression.

[Tonya]

Originally posted by Logan
Meg, I wonder if perhaps your mother is suffering from some sort of depression? If she has lost all interest in everything, it could be that something is really bothering her that she might not even realize herself. I know you are very disappointed that she hasn't been there for you. I'm so sorry. Even the "best" mom makes their kids mad at times. Let her know that you miss having her be more of a part of your life.

I totally agree. Please *try* to be patient with your mom. That is exactly what my mother did. She used to be the best and most involved mom. I haven't had a sit down dinner, holiday, etc...with my mom in about 13 years. She never even wants to see my son. Once every few months when she sees him she refers to it as "babysitting".

Depression really can drag you down. I've went through it myself also. All I wanted to do was eat and sleep.

[Tonya]

Originally posted by ILoveMyAbbyGirl
As a matter of fact, she DID have depression, and I still think she is taking Zoloft. It is upsetting, but I don't think it is the depression anymore. It's just pure laziness.

<<Sigh>>

Maybe the zoloft isn't working. It didn't work for me. Prozac is what changed my life.

[Karen]

Have you/she considered that she might be agorophobic? People who are agorophobic do not like leaving their home, though it varies from person to person, but some only feel safe in a certain room, while others are fine as long as they are indoors. She can still be depressed even if she's takingmedication - anti-depressives work differently for different people, and the dose or medication may have to be adjusted.

In any case, I am sending you a great big hug. I was lucky to have a great mom, I thought everyone did until I grew up and realized how rare it is. Were she still alive, I'd lend her to you - Ma always took in strays. At her funeral, one woman drove for 6 hours just to attend, one man came without a baseball cap on in respect for her, and his wife said it was the only time she'd ever seen him in public without one. Both were other people's kids who bunked at our house from time to time.

Try thinking of her not as your mother, but maybe as some other relative ... an Aunt or something. That's what my friend does, and said it made it a lot easier - you expect less, so are dissappointed less ...

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

She's not agorophobic, she comes camping with us sometimes, we usually go every weekend in the summer, but she came once this year. She sits outside when the people are working on the house, etc.

Thanks for all the hugs guys. I really really really appreciate it.

[Dogz]

I am so sorry that you feel this way, Meg. -Hugs-

I hope everything gets better for you.

[Twisterdog]

Originally posted by Logan
Meg, I wonder if perhaps your mother is suffering from some sort of depression? If she has lost all interest in everything, it could be that something is really bothering her that she might not even realize herself. I know you are very disappointed that she hasn't been there for you. I'm so sorry. Even the "best" mom makes their kids mad at times. Let her know that you miss having her be more of a part of your life.

I agree. It sounds like classic symptoms of depression to me.

Not every medication works for every person. And sometimes it is something as simple as a different dosage being required. Many times several trial and error attempts are needed before depression can be controlled.

Perhaps you could talk to your father about your mother's behavior, and possible depression. Maybe he can encourage her to visit the doctor for a change in medication.

[Barbara]

Megan, I also thought that it sounded much like a symptom of depression.

Anyway you can't solve her problems for her. But you are much more than what she -or anybody else- taught you. Much more than nothing. For example you are a poet. {{{Hugs}}}

[lovemyshiba]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way Megan.
It sounds like depression to me too. When I was depressed, I didn't want to leave the house either, not to pick up a soda at the store, or to go see my boyfriend's band play. It didn't matter, all I wanted to do was stay home.

I hope you're feeling better today, and that your mom gets some help.

[Logan]

After reading all these responses, Megan, it seems to me that everyone is of the same opinion. This is not about you, but something that is going on with you mother. The best thing you can do is let her know that you miss her, and perhaps talk with your dad about what you are witnessing, even share this whole thread with him if you feel comfortable doing so.

In the meantime, we can be your cheerleaders, if you will allow us to be!! :) Just sorry that we can't be there in person.

Logan

[trayi52]

It does sound like she is going through some sort of depression.
My husband had the whole thing, depression, anxiety/panic attacks, for a very long time, he did not go anywhere, he stayed home all the time. It was such a hardship on the whole family. Getting treatment helps, but as somebody said, she may need to change medications, the zoloft may not be working anymore. It is pure hell for the whole family. We were afraid to even open our mouth in front of him, or he would start yelling at us. It got really bad.

Now I have went through it so long with him, about 15 years of it along with his other health problems, I am now suffering from depression too. I don't like going anywhere either, I will go sometimes, but strictly because I have to go or somebody makes me go. I hate it, it is terrible.

I am sorry that you are going through this, everyone in the family are going through this, it affects the whole family.

sorry

[K9karen]

Aw, Meg, I am so sorry. You're not alone. My parents asked me to stay to save money, plus we all got along famously. Since my dad got sicker and died last year, my mother has been next to impossible. Honey, I'm 52 years old and STILL listening to some of her crap. She is on Buspar, but takes it off and on because she doesn't feel better. She has side effects from shingles so now it's affecting her walk. She refused to go to another doctor, I have to drag her to the hairdressers, she dislikes people who disagree with her. In fact, the other day, after I commented on a great TV commercial (having been in advertising years ago), told me I was no longer as imaginative as I was. Now that I'm not working, I do all the cooking, cleaning etc. She wants no outside help "in her house". My older brother, who also moved back in to help, just takes off Fri-Mon, and deserts me. I know I complain to my friends sometimes, but then I realize, it's up to ME not to take it seriously. I know she has a problem. She is a grown adult and has to learn to deal with it. I can't force her to do what she doesn't want to. Period. My dad and I were more alike, so I miss him terribly. Don't misunderstand, I love my mom. She is a dear, sweet person. Like Karen's, our house was always open to everyone. But she needs more help that she refused to get. Can you speak with your dad when the 2 of you are alone? Maybe if you talk with him, it'll help. Please realize it's NOT you! DON'T let her change your personality. You are NOT worthless or unloved. Just remember that you may have to hold your tongue because arguing with a depressed person, makes things worse. They do not think rationally.
Please know that you are very much loved here on PT, and that we are here for you whenever you need it. You must build yourself up in order to survive, and you will. {HUGS} I hated talking about myself here, but I wanted you to know you're not alone and it can happen at any age :o