Behaivor Eliminating?

[shais_mom]

I know that Jen has covered this issue with her cats.
But......
One of my best friends has Kylie's sister, Tome. They are 3 1/2 years old.
She has never been an overly friendly cat. Has always been given an uncovered litter box to use. Once when she was a kitten ( I think) she peed outside the box, and Lorrie has tried everything short of ripping up the carpet, to get rid of the smell.
Well recently 2 stray kittens showed up at their house and having 2 active little girls, they of course brought them in the house. (:)) Well, Tome was one pi$$ed off kitty!
So they have kept them separated for the most part, and Tome seems to only be tolerating their precense. Recently, around Thanksgiving, the family went out of state for 2 nites and the kittens were in the basement with their litter box (that is hooded) and Tome was upstairs with her box (uncovered). So they never saw each other, tho of course Tome knew they were there I am sure.
When they came home, Lorrie decided to give Tome a bath (been giving her a bath since she was a kitten), she had fleas. Tome freaked out. Bit her 3 times. Bit her so hard on the arm it took her husband to 'unlock' her jaws. Bit her so hard she pooped a little bit! (Tome):eek:
Lorrie had to come to the ER and was put on antibiotics and is fine now BTW, tho a little leary of Tome.
So now enters the problem.
They have decided to keep Tiger ( the male kitty) inside and Tome has decided to start pooping and peeing outside of her box, right beside it, and I think she might have used the plant once or twice too, can't remember, I know that Ginger the female kitty did that but she is indoor/outdoor. Tome absolutely REFUSES to use the hooded box. I know this is a behaivor issue, but since I have only had one indoor long term cat in my life and that is presently Kylie, I have no idea how to fix it or tell her how to fix it. Lorrie has had several cats in her day and multiple cats at different times also. I really don't think that their house is made to be able to separate the cats either. Shutting one of them in the bedroom with a litter box, I am not sure would help, b/c Tome won't use the litter box if it has moved at all, so I don't think she woulduse it if they moved it upstairs. They sometimes keep the younger ones in the basement, with the kitchen door keeping them out of Tome's area, but with the winter coming, I don't think that is a feasible option either, long term anyway.
I think it is also a personality thing. Tome is COMPLETELY different from my sweet Kylie. Like Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde thing. Like I said Tome has always had a *itch of a personality.
Please know that I am asking for advice, I have no idea how to fix this. Like I said earlier, Kylie is my first cat.

Thanks All.

[bisi.cat]

Some cats will remain "difficult" their whole life...and I guess all Tome is trying to tell is that she wants to be an only cat...

Your friend can go through long turn methods, like keeping them seperate and introduce them again gradually, but Tome has clearly shown (as they have been seperated during their owners absence) that she's never fond of company...or they can try to medicate them...

In a tv magazine about pets I've recently seen a case of a cat behaviourist, where she recommended to give one cat into a new home, as some cats never would change their mind and their relation couldn't be fixed...and I think this is the same with Tome:( ...I guess she would only be happy as a single cat...

I am sorry, I have no different recommendation here...

[PayItForward]

Tome might be more accepted of the kittens once they are grown.

Our Treacle was clearly unimpressed with the kits, Bramble & Tigs and Treacle spend a lot of time hiding and being outside (but it was summer, nice & warm) Now the kittens are older, he doesn't mind them the same.

[jenluckenbach]

It is true that some cats do NOT accept kittens at a young age (I have found it is especially females) but as they get older and bigger those bad feelings go away. So this is hopefully what might happen.
In the mean time, they should be separated except when supervised because we would not want any serious fights when no one is home.
I would definitely suggest more boxes. Tome will still have hers, but the kittens should have SEVERAL others. This might help them NOT use Tome's. (That in itself might help)
Will they be keeping BOTH kittens? Because this may help relieve the stress on Tome. WHY? Because the kittens will want to play, and if they do not have each other they will seek out Tome and this could prevent good relations (It also could help,BUT not likely given her personality)
If your friend wants it to work she will definitely need to give it time. And there is a real possibility that it still may not work, but without time, you can not be sure.
Best of luck to them.

[catcrazylady]

No advice to add but I do wish her the best of luck because I think she is going to need it! I agree with everything Jen said but especially the part about keeping both kittens. I think just keeping one would be a bad idea. If Tome bit her meowmie that bad then imagine the damage she could do to a young kitten who only wants to have someone to play with. http://petoftheday.com/talk/images/our_smilies/frown.gif I really do wish her good luck though.http://petoftheday.com/talk/images/our_smilies/smile.gif

[shais_mom]

I forgot to mention that Tome is spayed but NOT DECLAWED. I could understand the behaivor issues better if she was. :(

Thanks so far for the advice, I am going to print this out and give it to her.

[emily_the_spoiled]

The one other piece of advice I might add to Jen's, is that your friend spend lots of time with Tome. She maybe feeling left out and this is partially her way of acting out (just like sibling rivalry).