lovemyshiba
12-13-2003, 09:53 AM
7 reasons not to mess with a child:
>
>1) A little girl was talking to her teacher about
>whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible
>for a whale to swallow a human because
>even though it was a very large mammal its throat
>was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
>whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not
swallow a
>human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I
>get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
>The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
>The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
>
>2) A Kindergarten teacher was observing her
>classroom of children while they were drawing.
>She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
>work. As she got to one little girl who was working
>diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
>The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
>The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what
>God looks like."
>Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
>drawing, the girl replied,
>"They will in a minute."
>
>3) A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
>Commandments with her five and six year olds.
>After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
>Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a
>commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
>Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered,
>"Thou shall not kill."
>
>4) One day a little girl was sitting and watching
>her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
>She suddenly noticed that her mother has
>several strands of white hair sticking out in
>contrast on her brunette head.
>She looked at her mother and inquisitively
>asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
>Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
>something wrong and make me cry or unhappy,
>one of my hairs turns white."
>The little girl thought about this revelation for a
>while and then said,
>"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>
>5) The children had all been photographed, and the
>teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy
>a copy of the group picture. "Just think
>how nice it will be to look at it when you are all
>grown up and say, There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,'
>'or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
>A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
>"And there's the teacher, She's dead."
>
>6) A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation
>of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said,
>"Now, class, if I stood on my head,
>the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I
>would turn red in the face.."
>"Yes," the class said.
>"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
>the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
>A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
>
>7) The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
>Catholic elementary school for lunch.
>At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
>The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
>"Take only ONE. God is watching."
>Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of
>the table was a large pile of chocolate chip
>cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
>God is watching the apples.
>
>
>1) A little girl was talking to her teacher about
>whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible
>for a whale to swallow a human because
>even though it was a very large mammal its throat
>was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
>whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not
swallow a
>human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I
>get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
>The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
>The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
>
>2) A Kindergarten teacher was observing her
>classroom of children while they were drawing.
>She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
>work. As she got to one little girl who was working
>diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
>The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
>The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what
>God looks like."
>Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
>drawing, the girl replied,
>"They will in a minute."
>
>3) A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
>Commandments with her five and six year olds.
>After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
>Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a
>commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
>Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered,
>"Thou shall not kill."
>
>4) One day a little girl was sitting and watching
>her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
>She suddenly noticed that her mother has
>several strands of white hair sticking out in
>contrast on her brunette head.
>She looked at her mother and inquisitively
>asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
>Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
>something wrong and make me cry or unhappy,
>one of my hairs turns white."
>The little girl thought about this revelation for a
>while and then said,
>"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>
>5) The children had all been photographed, and the
>teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy
>a copy of the group picture. "Just think
>how nice it will be to look at it when you are all
>grown up and say, There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,'
>'or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
>A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
>"And there's the teacher, She's dead."
>
>6) A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation
>of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said,
>"Now, class, if I stood on my head,
>the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I
>would turn red in the face.."
>"Yes," the class said.
>"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
>the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
>A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
>
>7) The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
>Catholic elementary school for lunch.
>At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
>The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
>"Take only ONE. God is watching."
>Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of
>the table was a large pile of chocolate chip
>cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
>God is watching the apples.
>