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lovemyshiba
12-11-2003, 10:26 PM
I got this from my shiba group:

does this sound familiar ?????????????
>
> YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN DOING RESCUE TOO LONG WHEN:
>
> You have a mental list of people you'd like to spay or neuter.
(my personal favorite)>
> You stopped at a house with a "Free Puppies" sign in the yard to have an
> Educational "Chat," and your kids had to post your bail.
>
> Running out of paper towels is a household crisis.
>
> You not only know all the characteristics of a good "stool," you discuss
> them at dinner.
>
> Your checks have messages on them like "Subtract Two Testicles For Every
> Four Feet."
>
> You have a bumper sticker that reads "My German Shepherd Is Smarter Than
> Your Graduate Student."
>
> You secretly wonder about such things as how animals can manage without
> wiping.
>
> You pray they will someday manufacture Teflon furniture.
>
> You have phone calls forwarded to PetsMart.
>
> You absentmindedly pat people on the head or scratch them behind their
> ears.
>
> Given the choice of having your teeth cleaned or their teeth cleaned,
> they
> get their teeth cleaned.
>
> You not only allow pets on the couch, guests have to sit on the floor
> because
> the dog has "territorial issues."
>
> Your spouse missed the final game of the World Series because the cat
> wanted
> to watch his favorite video, "Birds of North America."
>
> Anytime the animal appears lethargic, you go on-line and investigate
> vetmed
> websites, pose questions to your address book and on e-lists, and by the
> time
> you digest all the information and field the correspondence, the animal
> has
> torn out the window screens, masticated a couch cushion and left something
> disgusting in your favorite pair of shoes.
>
> Your chatroom handle is "Queen of Spayeds."
>
> You and your vet are on a first name basis and he genuflects when you
> enter
> the waiting room. His daughter at Harvard refers to you as "Auntie."
>
> You needed a prescription to recover from "Old Yeller."
>
> You've forwarded more warnings about the dangers of chocolate, onions and
> mistletoe than the National Center for Disease Control has issued about
> anthrax
> and smallpox.
>
> You wear white year 'round, not because you are flaunting a fashion law
> or
> belong to a religious sect but because you have a Dalmatian, Great
> Pyrenees,
> Samoyed or white Persian at home.
>
> The world would never guess from your "dog or kittyspeak" posts to
> e-lists
> that in reality you are chairman of the IBM corporation.
>
> By the time you investigate different flea control products, their
> advantages and potential risks,natural versus chemical methods, and study
> the life
> cycle of the flea, any fleas have died of old age.
>
> You tell your children to "heel!" in a grocery store.
>
> For relaxation, you went mall hopping with your girlfriends. Your eyes
> glazed over when you saw a sign in front of a pet shop, "20% Off All
> Puppies &
> Kittens," and you slapped three security guards before they got you safely
> contained in the manager's office.
>
> People are still talking about your spay-neuter holiday greeting from
> last
> year, "Deck the Halls with Balls of Collies

aly
12-11-2003, 10:45 PM
Originally posted by lovemyshiba

> You not only know all the characteristics of a good "stool," you discuss them at dinner.

> You absentmindedly pat people on the head or scratch them behind their ears.
>

> Anytime the animal appears lethargic, you go on-line and investigate vetmed websites, pose questions to your address book and on e-lists, and by the time you digest all the information and field the correspondence, the animal has
torn out the window screens, masticated a couch cushion and left something disgusting in your favorite pair of shoes.

> You needed a prescription to recover from "Old Yeller."

> The world would never guess from your "dog or kittyspeak" posts to e-lists that in reality you are chairman of the IBM corporation.

> By the time you investigate different flea control products, their
advantages and potential risks,natural versus chemical methods, and study the life cycle of the flea, any fleas have died of old age.

> You tell your children to "heel!" in a grocery store.


Hehehehehe :D I thought the ones I quoted were especially funny, but they were all great!

A couple weeks ago, my friends threw me a surprise party for my birthday. We were all around the dinner table yacking about roundworms and hookworms. Most of my friends there were from the shelter so we didn't think twice about it until we saw the looks of disgust on all the husbands' faces! HAH!

CatDad
12-11-2003, 10:48 PM
That is GREAT!!!

The scary part about it is that I think some of it is true.:eek:

Thank you very much for the laugh.:D

Pam
12-12-2003, 06:34 AM
Emily they are hilarious! Thanks for the big laugh this morning!! I love Queen of Spayeds! :D Aly your story is a riot too! LOL!

delidog
12-12-2003, 06:34 AM
Too Funny!!!!!!!!
Love The Last One!!!!

lbaker
12-12-2003, 07:20 AM
Hysterical! I want to get t-shirts made with each and every one. Must copy the list and print out in fancy letters to frame and give to "special" friends that would understand.. actually, anyone that I call a friend WOULD understand and appreciate. THANK YOU!!! Excellent!!

lizbud
12-12-2003, 12:04 PM
These are very funny.....Thanks for the chuckles. :D :D

amoore
12-12-2003, 01:44 PM
That was great! I really liked all of them. LOL!

trayi52
12-15-2003, 03:26 AM
That is just so funny!! I loved it, thanks for sharing!

moosmom
12-16-2003, 08:16 AM
Boy does THAT hit too close to home!!!

I have one to add:

You know you've been in rescue too long when:

You discreetly tell a woman who just bought a kitten for her grandson from a cheesy pet vendor at a mall, to IMMEDIATELY take the kitten to a vet to make sure nothing is wrong with it.

The good news is, the woman said that is exactly what she intended to do!! :)