jonza
11-23-2003, 12:54 PM
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the
blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now,
class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would
run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the
ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not
swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask
Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of
children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk
around to see each child's work. As she got to one little
girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing
was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks
like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the
girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds. After explaining the
commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked,
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest
of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do
the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in
contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and
inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while
and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are
white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was
trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a
lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's
the teacher, She's dead."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the
apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had
written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
apples."
blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now,
class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would
run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the
ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not
swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask
Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of
children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk
around to see each child's work. As she got to one little
girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing
was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks
like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the
girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds. After explaining the
commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked,
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest
of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do
the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in
contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and
inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while
and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are
white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was
trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a
lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's
the teacher, She's dead."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the
apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had
written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
apples."