My grandpa broke his hip :(

[luckies4me]

Last night my grandpa fell and broke his hip. The ambulance had to come get him and in about an hour he will have surgery. He is 83. :( They also found the cause to his big belly, he has a huge hernia and they may have to do emergency surgery on that today. First they have to see how bad it is and finish his hip surgery first. His hernia is pretty bad though, to the point that all his intestines are just floating in his belly, which is why it's so bloated.

Please pray for my grandpa today everyone, please, and for my dad as my dad is the one who cares for him, and hardly can care for himself let alone my grandpa as well. Now my dad has to cancel his first oxygen treatment for his legs, which he really needs, to care for my grandpa. So they BOTH needs prayers!

My father was really emberassed at the condition of my grandpas trailor because it is so filthy. My grandpas toilet is broken so he pees in a bucket and covers the toilet seat with foil to go poop. It's really discusting and my dad has no one to help him clean. My stupid brother won't return his calls so now he has to find someone else to help him get my grandpas place clean while he's gone and he can actually do it. But it's very hard for my dad since he can barely walk, and his left leg is just huge right now. Ok I am sorry I keep going on, I wish I could do something to help but right now I just don't have the money to fly down there with Dylan and find a way to his house and everything. My brother is right there and won't do anything! :mad: He never answers his phone, ever. If my dad died he would probably never know for weeks.

[tatsxxx11]

:(:(:( This is so upsetting to hear:(:(:( First off, of course I will be thinking of your Grandpa and his surgeries and sending prayers for a quick recovery. I know it's a scary thought; such an elderly person undergoing surgery. But if he's in realtively good health, he should do just fine:) Honestly, I've cared for so many post op hip patients in the RR and the majority of them are elderly and it's amazing how well they do. You know, maybe in a strange way, it was a Godsend that he did have his fall, otherwise, his hernia might not have been treated until he was seriously ill.

My heart breaks for your Dad as he is alone in this right now and has his own serious health issues to deal with:( It's shameful that your brother is not there to help. Sometimes being family doesn't mean that that person can be counted on in times of need. Sadly, from what you have said, it doesn't seem like you will be able to count on him for much of anything and you probably have to let go of that hope as an option; as much as it hurts. It's so difficult for responsible persons to imagine that someone could be so callous, but so it is sometimes.

It's heartbreaking to know that your poor Grandpa has to live in such conditions as this point in his life. I'm sure he's doing the best he can but it doesn't sound like he's really able to live on his own any longer. Is there any chance you can discuss with him other living arrangements? He's going to need a lot of rehab and help post op. My best advice to you would be to speak with (or have your Dad speak with) the social services dept. and/or discharge planner at the hospital prior to discharge to come up some other option, either assisted living, a home health aide, etc. Does he have any health insurance/Medicare? And if he does return to the trailer, hopefully the necessary repairs can be made so he doesn't have to live under such deplorable conditions. But I think you and your Dad would feel a lot better knowing he's being cared for and watched over properly. Your Dad's just not able to be there for him now as I'm sure he would like to be. Please let us know how he's doing. {{{HUGS}}} Sandra

[tomkatzid]

I just sent you a PM.
Katz

[luckies4me]

Well we talked briefly about putting him into a home, where he will at least have meals everyday, and clean living quarters. Then my dad could sell the trailor, or move into that trailor after it gets fixed up, as it is bigger than the one he has now. Then he can give the smaller one to me. :D hehe.

Anyways, I haven't thought of in home care yet, but that could be an option. He can cook and clean for himself, he just will not fix the toilet because he is stubborn and spends his money on other things. I am sure he could have the money to fix it, he just won't. It makes me so mad sometimes. Other than that, he's fine to be on his own, but it would be great to know he is being taken care of and has people to motivate him to take a shower etc. That is just no way to live for an old man.

My dad made a promise to my grandma when she died, and that was so always watch over my grandpa, and he feels that if he does put him in a home he is letting her down, but he just can't do it anymore. It's too much for him right now and he needs to focus on his own health. Harry (my grandpa) will have to go through a few weeks of rehab.

My dad and I are already going to have "that talk" about what happens when he dies etc. Gosh, I really don't know what I am going to do if he died and I am stuck with all his bills. I am going to be a bum for sure, he has sooo many bills, I could never pay them ever. And chances are, it will be me paying for everything because my brother doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself. I don't even think I could have a funeral for him, would the state pay for a funeral?

I shouldn't even be thinking of this, I hate this. YUCK!

Katz, I got your PM. :)

Thanks everyone, I just really needed someone to talk to, this is all just so frustrating. :(

[KYS]

I hope that his surgery and recovery goes well.
I am also so sorry to hear about your grandfather's situation.
I think in home care is a great idea, or even someone
to check in on him, do the shopping, and clean the place for him would be a great help. It's not easy getting old.
Sending prayers.
Karen

[dukedogsmom]

So sorry to hear all this. I know your dad is having a rough time and now this. To me, it sounds like putting your grandpa in elderly care place would be best for him. That is, if you can afford it. Does he have any insurance to help with payments? One of my best friends lost her mother today and she's got a brother like yours. He didn't even want to give her a decent burial. I just don't understand people. Hope things get better for you.

[luckies4me]

Thanks Karen. :) I can't wait until I get to California. I was supposed to go this month but my mom wants me to go next month instead, on Christmas Vacation so the kids don't have to worry about school while I am visiting. Then I can help my dad with everything.

I talked to my mom tonight to see if she can get ahold of my brother and I guess that will be no help as my brother and his girlfriend are splitting up and just got evicted from their apartment. So now my nephew is going to stay with his mother I think and my brother will babysit when she works or what not, although I believe my Ethan is better off with my brother. My brother finally cannot take Pauline any longer..........wonder why it took him so long. :rolleyes:

Anyways tomorrow I will try to get ahold of my brother and see if he can go help my dad, as he still doesn't know what happened to gramps.

[luckies4me]

Originally posted by dukedogsmom
So sorry to hear all this. I know your dad is having a rough time and now this. To me, it sounds like putting your grandpa in elderly care place would be best for him. That is, if you can afford it. Does he have any insurance to help with payments? One of my best friends lost her mother today and she's got a brother like yours. He didn't even want to give her a decent burial. I just don't understand people. Hope things get better for you.

I am unsure whether he has any insurance, but am assuming he gets help through the state. I am sorry about your friends mom, how sad. :( My brother cares, just not enough.