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Karen
11-05-2003, 07:38 AM
Just a word to everyone, new and old.

When someone new comes, be nice to them. Assume the best until proven otherwise. Do not assume anyone has bad intentions, is someone else "in disguise" or is a bad person just because you do not yet know them. And if there is someone here - even someone who has been here a long time - that you do not like, then please avoid that person's threads, or at least try to look at each one as a new start. People learn, people grow, and we can help each other do so!

Pet Talk is meant to be a friendly, welcoming place. We are all here because we love animals, love pets. Let us extend that to our fellow human beings, and be kind to each other.

If you are thinking of posting something unkind or hurtful, remember, that may be the first impression someone will get of Pet Talk.

I am not saying we cannot have heartfelt discussions, debates or disagreements, I am just saying we should be polite when we do.

I want Pet Talk to be the happiest place for pet-loving people it can be!

Ally Cat's Mommy
11-05-2003, 07:46 AM
Well said Karen.....

Ok everyone gather round....... ***(((group hug)))***

stacwase
11-05-2003, 08:05 AM
Thank you, Karen.

ramanth
11-05-2003, 08:11 AM
Group Hug! :D

micki76
11-05-2003, 08:13 AM
Well said Karen.

We all need to take a step back and look at our posts before we post them. Ask yourself if this is a constructive post. Will it make someone feel better? Will it change someone’s viewpoint? Are you just simply complaining and not really bringing anything to the thread?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it here again, Pet Talk is what you make of it. You can take whatever you want from it; we all get something different from being here. If you no longer like the atmosphere of PT, then don’t stop by anymore. It’s a choice we all can make.

Of course, speak out about things that you’re passionate about. It would be a boring world if we all were sugary sweet all the time, and always agreed. But the nastiness towards others must stop. If you don’t like them or their threads/posts, don’t read them. Use your Ignore feature.

Thank you all for being fellow pet lovers!

*steps down off soapbox*

robinh
11-05-2003, 08:34 AM
Ditto!

(I couldn't improve on what everyone else has said)

G.P.girl
11-05-2003, 08:42 AM
i agree

Karen
11-05-2003, 02:27 PM
Thanks, let's hope everyone agrees.

Amber
11-05-2003, 02:36 PM
I agree too:)

slick
11-05-2003, 02:58 PM
I always read my posts over before posting, mainly for spelling errors and to make sure the content won't offend anyone.

I do have a bit of a sarcastic side so I'm sorry if I've offended anyone in the past with my sarcastic remarks.

Hugs to all.:) :)

aly
11-05-2003, 02:59 PM
THANK YOU KAREN! I completely agree!

Some advice to everyone if you have a hard time keeping your mouth shut ... what I usually do is I'll click reply to a thread that makes me really angry. I'll type out a long reply and instead of pushing the post reply button, I just close the browser, deleting the post before I even submit it. It makes me feel a lot better and causes no harm :)

carole
11-05-2003, 03:09 PM
I second that, I think as people we can learn and grow from other peoples situations, opinions, I myself have learnt some things on here of great value, your'e never too old to learn or be told, thanks for the gentle reminder Karen WELL SAID.:)

primabella
11-05-2003, 03:52 PM
Originally posted by aly
THANK YOU KAREN! I completely agree!

Some advice to everyone if you have a hard time keeping your mouth shut ... what I usually do is I'll click reply to a thread that makes me really angry. I'll type out a long reply and instead of pushing the post reply button, I just close the browser, deleting the post before I even submit it. It makes me feel a lot better and causes no harm :)

I usually do that too. But mainly because I'll type up a big response and then realize it may be offending or that I know that I have no way to back up my opinion. Lol. Better than getting put on the spot after. ;)

I really love Pet Talk because there are so many different opinions. If everything here was so sugary-sweet, I think I'd go crazy. I just think sometimes things can be handled better. Not to say that sometimes I don't loose it...:p

I agree Karen.

Logan
11-05-2003, 03:59 PM
I think it is a shame that you even needed to make this post, Karen, but thank you for doing it. I am in total agreement!!! :)

Cincy'sMom
11-05-2003, 04:01 PM
Originally posted by aly
THANK YOU KAREN! I completely agree!

Some advice to everyone if you have a hard time keeping your mouth shut ... what I usually do is I'll click reply to a thread that makes me really angry. I'll type out a long reply and instead of pushing the post reply button, I just close the browser, deleting the post before I even submit it. It makes me feel a lot better and causes no harm :)

I thought I was the only one who did that!!!

Thanks Karen!!!

Rottieluver45
11-05-2003, 05:21 PM
Well said Karen, I completely agree!!

stacwase
11-05-2003, 05:27 PM
Originally posted by aly
THANK YOU KAREN! I completely agree!

Some advice to everyone if you have a hard time keeping your mouth shut ... what I usually do is I'll click reply to a thread that makes me really angry. I'll type out a long reply and instead of pushing the post reply button, I just close the browser, deleting the post before I even submit it. It makes me feel a lot better and causes no harm :)

I do that too!

popcornbird
11-05-2003, 05:43 PM
Originally posted by Cincy'sMom
I thought I was the only one who did that!!!



Nope! I do that too! It helps me get whatever I want to say out, without ever posting it. :o LOL

Thanks Karen! I totally agree! I think its wrong to be so harsh with new members, because we really don't know them when they're new, and its wrong to make judgements.......plus, if the new members are young, its not so difficult to hurt their feelings even without intending to. Kids are sensitive and should be treated with kindness.

Just a few years ago, when I was around 12-13 years old, I was VERY sensitive, and the slightest mean comment would hurt me enough to make me cry. Honestly, I'm still a sensitive person and get upset easily, but not like I was before. I really think we should be nice to everyone here, but especially the younger members.

carole
11-05-2003, 05:58 PM
PCB you are so right, and one does not need to be young to have their feelings hurt, It's sad to see as this post was written, another was starting, where young girl, a relatively new member as well, was being treated unkindly, I guess some things never change.:(

Amber
11-05-2003, 06:02 PM
Originally posted by popcornbird

Just a few years ago, when I was around 12-13 years old, I was VERY sensitive, and the slightest mean comment would hurt me enough to make me cry.

Im 13 and Im just like that now, Im way too sensitive and rude comments hurt me terribly! Glad im not the only one! :)

Kfamr
11-05-2003, 06:31 PM
People 13 and under aren't supposed to be on PT though, I thought? :confused:

I think this should apply to people creating the threads as well.
Some people just post things that shouldn't be posted or start a thread about. And some people just post threads that they KNOW will get people heated, then complain and say they're leaving because everyone is "SO MEAN".

But, overall -- I do agree.

popcornbird
11-05-2003, 06:35 PM
Originally posted by Kfamr
People 13 and under aren't supposed to be on PT though, I thought? :confused:

I think this should apply to people creating the threads as well.
Some people just post things that shouldn't be posted or start a thread about. And some people just post threads that they KNOW will get people heated, then complain and say they're leaving because everyone is "SO MEAN".

But, overall -- I do agree.

Its *under* 13...........I think(?), and the new girl is 13. She's perfectly welcome. Besides, I know that many girls are sensitive even years older than 13, and even if someone isn't, its still wrong to be rude to someone, especially a new member, IMHO.

I don't believe any new member made a thread with the intention to get people heated recently.

GoldenRetrLuver
11-05-2003, 06:36 PM
Originally posted by Kfamr
People 13 and under aren't supposed to be on PT though, I thought? :confused:

I think this should apply to people creating the threads as well.
Some people just post things that shouldn't be posted or start a thread about. And some people just post threads that they KNOW will get people heated, then complain and say they're leaving because everyone is "SO MEAN".

But, overall -- I do agree.

Actually, I think it's 12 and under. :) But I agree overall, sometimes I think I judge people to quicky, but I have to say, I think a few threads posted were meant to get people angry. IMHO.

Kfamr
11-05-2003, 06:44 PM
In the resitry it says

You must be over the age of 13 to register.

So I assume it's 13 and under.

carole
11-05-2003, 06:48 PM
I think one thing I would like to point out, if you are new here, you don't know exactly what is what, and how people become upset, over certain things, everyone is different, what upsets one does not another.

The whole point regardless, is Karen our moderator has specifically asked everyone to BE NICE, and we should all be listening to her, and trying to go along with her wishes, as she is the person who began it all, and her wishes should be respected in MO.

Who are we to say what a person should start a thread on, really we should all use self-control, myself included and stay away from threads that bother us.

Karen
11-05-2003, 07:00 PM
Originally posted by Kfamr
People 13 and under aren't supposed to be on PT though, I thought? :confused:

I think this should apply to people creating the threads as well.
Some people just post things that shouldn't be posted or start a thread about. And some people just post threads that they KNOW will get people heated, then complain and say they're leaving because everyone is "SO MEAN".

But, overall -- I do agree.

The age limit is 12 and under cannot be here without special permission. It is US Law, a policy called C.O.P.P.A.

I think we should never assume someone new is posting just to upset people, but if you honestly think that's the case, do NOT post in the thread, PM me, and I'll handle it. Let me moderate, and it can stay a happier place.

Kfamr
11-05-2003, 07:01 PM
K-- i won't post my opinions anymore!

GoldenRetrLuver
11-05-2003, 07:04 PM
Originally posted by Kfamr
K-- i won't post my opinions anymore!

Same for me too.

Karen
11-05-2003, 09:01 PM
I did not say not to post opinions, I did say to be nice about it. That's not impossible, I know you both can do it!

Kfamr
11-05-2003, 09:06 PM
It's not always possible.

GoldenRetrLuver
11-05-2003, 09:16 PM
Sometimes I HAVE to say something if it makes me upset, it's how I vent. But, I don't want to start a fight on it....so I'll try to be nicer next time.

captain
11-05-2003, 09:24 PM
Karen - great post, and YES, it is sad that it had to be done.

Shelteez2
11-05-2003, 09:34 PM
Keeping eyes wide shut, mouth zipped closed and fingers taped together.

babolaypo65
11-05-2003, 09:39 PM
Thanks Karen. Wish it didnt need to be said, but it does.

Karen
11-06-2003, 07:38 AM
Originally posted by Shelteez2
Keeping eyes wide shut, mouth zipped closed and fingers taped together.

That image just made me grin! ;)

2kitties
11-06-2003, 08:27 AM
Rocky and Taz (knowing their meowmie has a big ole mouth) promise to keep careful eye on meowmie when her eyes start to bug and her face gets red and her nose twitches. Something wicked this way comes!! And they will put 4 furry paws on meowmie's mouth, and the other 4 on her typing fingers.

Vio&Juni
11-06-2003, 09:11 AM
When I see posts and members that keep going on with the same thing, when everyone has had enough already, it reminds me a thing I learned about myself. A thing that helped me grow - inside and carrierwise too.

I had a boss, she was the nicest person. I liked her very much, maybe because she was in many ways just like me. She was very passionate about everything, esp. about work. There were times when I knew I was right and she was wrong, there were times when I THOUGHT I was right and she was wrong, and there were times when I just couldn't get my mouth shut :rolleyes: And I HAD to tell her that. So, you can imagine, it didn't really matter WHO was right and who was wrong, this always brough a long discussion on why, how, when, where etc. Then, one of our office translators read a joke once about what you "should" do if you want to be in "good" terms with your boss :) It was exactly what I was doing :eek:

I laught at the joke, thought about it and in the future, I tried to not argue anymore. When I knew she was not right or I had a suggestion, I would let her go through the wild mood and then go to her office and mildly propose my opinion. She really appreciated that. We became the bestest friends. I understood that you can give your opinion, but it's not always absolutely necessary and the BIGGEST THING about growing up is NOT to say it everytime. I noticed people started putting more price on my opinion and ME TOO. And it never hurts to think twice.

You talk about teenagers being sensitive. Everyone is sensitive and we should all keep in mind that when stating different opinions, esp. about life style. Tolerance is one think that makes an individual to be a special person.

amoore
11-06-2003, 11:51 AM
Oh yes i do agree ! If i ever read someones post that was all out cruel and mean ,I would not read any of their posts again . I expect we can have different opinions and discuss them like adults . I don't see any reason why people that love animals ..........can't get along . After all don't our animals represent the softer side of us ? (The part of us that is compassionate and loving ). Every one has been very nice to me ,no one has said anything rude to me, but i have looked at a post or two that were cruel and ugly, aimed at somone else .
There is a peaceful way to talk about things that bother us without being cruel . There are ways to accept the differences in each other.. ..... we all can't be just alike !
I think a group hug would be great ! :)

Truffles
11-06-2003, 12:38 PM
i agree w/ karen it is a well said and true statement.and the idea about just typing out your anger but not submiting it is a great idea as well i do that alot and it does help.take care:)

truffles

lynnestankard
11-06-2003, 02:28 PM
Thanks Karen - it needed sayng and was so well said!!

Lynne

trayi52
11-06-2003, 03:49 PM
Anybody that loves and respects animals can't be all bad.:)

amoore
11-12-2003, 10:28 AM
well i just had my first experince of a rude person ! I asked a question , and got attacked . I only asked someone that I thought had experience with cats , because I had been wondering about declawing. I never have had it done , didn't know anything about it , and got told I shouldn't own a cat !
I have a problem with a cat I love very much. My husband has some of his mother's furniture here that he has sentimental feelings about. And also Sunny has been slashing at my chihuahua . Sunny just gets carried away when playing with Tiny and I have been worried because I have seen him kill bigger things than Tiny. I would be the same if another creature I love was doing that to Sunny ! I deleted my reply from her post since it made her so mad .
The way i will handle this is never ask this rude person again about anything , and to stay away from her posts. I wanted her opinion not rudeness . :rolleyes:

slick
11-12-2003, 11:00 AM
Amoore: Please don't let one bad apple spoil your opinion of Pet Talk. Some of us here have very strong opinions and sometimes it comes across as rude and insensitive.

Subjects such as declawing, spaying and neutering are "hot" topics and sometimes we can get carried away. I apologize for that person. Please don't leave Pet Talk because of it.

PM me if you want to and I'll see what assistance/alternatives I can offer. I take it Sunny is the cat and Tiny is the dog??:confused:

micki76
11-12-2003, 11:04 AM
Well, at least now you can feel you’re really a part of the PT family! LOL.
Seriously though, could you just put the sentimental furniture away? Declawing really is a painful and yucky thing to do. I had a kitty that I adopted already delcawed. I doubt your kitty will harm your chi on purpose. If you think that the kitty really will harm Tiny, I’d seek out some professional advice from a behaviorist.

amoore
11-12-2003, 11:19 AM
thank you for being nice , but i only ask her about it cause i knew nothing about it , I cared enough about Sunny to ask about it . I hope the vet don't react the same way . I just thought that a person with so many cats would know . I had admired her ever since i had been in pet talk . tiny is the little chihuahua ,and Sunny is the cat .
Yes, I would like to know about declawing . I love sunny very much ,he is my sweety . I was there when he was being born .His mother needed help when she was giving birth to her kittens . I held him in my hand still wet from his travel .:) He is very special to me . I would never hurt him .

amoore
11-12-2003, 12:10 PM
I have found a place to find out more about declawing , and all kinds of pet questions . Thanks for understanding . I do value opinions , and advice . I just think if you ask a question , it's because you want that ,not hostle comments .
The link i found is great for answering questions is here .



http:www.petplace.com

trayi52
11-12-2003, 01:39 PM
Well if you were only asking for advice or just an opinion, you should not have been treated so rudely. Just stay away from that persons opinion, because if they have to be so rude about it then they don't know that much about cats anyway, or just don't understand the difference between a question, only wanting advice or what a statement is. Don't be discouraged, everybody on here is not all bad. Afterall, the reason we are here is because of our love of animals not the other way around. Nobody is perfect, as demonstrated to you already.:)

11-12-2003, 05:17 PM
:) Karen, thank you so much for this thread...I just hope it will be heeded...this should be a friendly place. As amoore said so well, "doesn't our animals represent the softer side of us?" Yes, amoore, they do. I was hurt by members in the beginning, and can't even remember their id's anymore (thank God for that), but I decided to not let a hatelful person run me off from what I loved talking about, my April. amoore, please don't let the mean cat person drive you away. I think most of us agrees that we want to keep you. Your Tiny stories are so cute. I have defended myself and my aunt on here before, and I hope I didn't take it too far...Karen, i will remember what you said. I do want this to be a friendly place to visit and express my love for my pet, and express the pleasure I receive in reading other's expressions of love for theirs. I give you five stars for this thread, Karen.:)

Felicia's Mom
11-12-2003, 08:38 PM
One person rudely answered one of my posts. It hurt me so bad that I thought about leaving PT. Instead, I put her on my "ignore list" and that is where she will remain.

11-12-2003, 10:04 PM
:) You did the right thing...don't leave us and stop doing what you like and talking about your babies! You know that will make the rude person's day if they succeed in running you off. Hang on with us and keep ignoring the rude people. Most of us are pretty nice. Keep on sharing your stories, and be unmoveable! You are one of the nice one's and we don't want to lose you.:)

Tonya
11-12-2003, 10:39 PM
Thank you, Karen. I agree 100%. Although we may not all raise our pets the same, we are all here for the same reason. We love animals.

Lillycat
11-16-2003, 08:45 AM
these are not the easiest of times in the world and i believe things will get worse before they get better. many of the things i am thinking of are for the most part out of our individual control ........but being kind to each other is something we can all do......it is the little and sometimes not so little difference we can make in each others world as well as our own world. always, be kind, and especially at this time practice it as if your life depends on it......

trayi52
11-16-2003, 01:32 PM
I agree with you Tonya, we all love our pets or we would not be here. We all have different ways of handling the way we take care of the pets we love. We should all respect each other for that. At least we love and take care of them, and from the pictures I have seen on pet talk, they are all loved and very well taken care of.:)

amoore
11-16-2003, 02:16 PM
Trayi52, Anathiona, Felicias'mom, lillycat, and Tonya , You are all so so right ! Compassion is the key word here . As you say, some cats & dogs would be eating out of trash cans if no one gave them a home . Everyone that has cats and dogs may have different opinions about how the cats and dogs are to live in their home . But one thing we should agree on is that they need a nice warm home, clean food and water, and health care .We all should care about each other , and try to help if we can . Not lash out . I certainly will try to help if somone needs me . My favorite quote Is " Friends are better than gold ".

amoore
11-17-2003, 08:18 AM
Thank you Karen ,you have such a beautiful heart ! Im so thankful that you wrote such a nice post .
I think we all have a great deal of love in our hearts . All of the things written in this post expresses that . All of us has made mistakes . But i never want to hurt anyone . I don't think any of us wants to hurt anyones feelings . :)
This post has made me see how nice everyone really is . Again thanks Karen .:)