I can't believe what happened last night:(

[anna_66]

Well, we went to Mark's moms with the doggies all dressed up to hand out candy. Well, we brought the dogs in (of course they were so happy to see their grandma;)) so I unhooked their leashes and they were going around visiting with everyone & Mark & I were chatting with everyone, playing with the new baby & didn't see the girls sneak off into the kitchen.
Next thing I know Dana (our niece) is bringing Roxey & Huney in the LR & tells me we need to take them outside:confused: I had no idea of what was going on, but hooked them all up & outside we went.
Well, come to find out Mark's mom didn't have one of her birds in the cage & Roxey got him. Poor little Baldey didn't have a chance:(
So of course I get to be the one to tell his mom. She was upset, but didn't get mad at us or Roxey.
The most terrible thing of this all is he used to be her mom's bird (she's been gone for quite a long time) and she's had him practly ever since we've been married (17 yrs). He was 19.
I/We feel so guilty. Of course we offered to buy her another bird, which she declined. And at the end of the night she actually thanked us for coming:o
I've been over it thousands of times & I keep coming to the same conclusion. It's our fault, we should have been more responsibe and made sure he was in his cage...no if's ands or buts.
I just don't know what in the world I can do to at least try to make up for this.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance & sorry it was so long.
Anna

R.I.P. Baldey:(

[green_chameleon_girl]

aww! its not your fault what kind of bird was it.?

[Logan]

Anna, this is one of my greatest fears. :( That one of our cats or dogs will get to one of the birds without our knowledge. We feel terrible, leaving the birds isolated, but to tell you the truth, I know it is in their best interest for us to do that.

It is not your fault, Anna. But I understand your guilt. You have all learned a lot from this experience, even though it is a hard lesson.

Much love,
Logan :)

[popcornbird]

OMG! :eek: :( :( :(

Poor poor birdie! And your poor poor mother-in-law! I can't imagine losing a beloved pet after 17 years to something so horrible. :( Of course it isn't your fault, just an accident, but such a very unfortunate one indeed. :( Mark's mom must be devastated! :( Keeping him out of the cage was being irresponsible, but it was an accident and what was meant to be. :( I don't think you can consider anyone responsible, because no one intended it to be this way. It just turned out to be so unfortunate. :( That's why I ALWAYS make sure to keep my birds safe and locked into my parents' room when we have guests with wild kids over. We never get doggie guests, but trust me, kid guests.....some of them, can be just as bad in regards to the birds!

What kind of bird was this btw? I would've declined getting another bird as well. Another bird is not the same bird. It can't replace her loss. Just like I could never replace a lost human by going out and getting another one, its the same for pets. :( So sad.

RIP poor little Baldey! :(

[Cataholic]

Oh, Anna, I am so sorry to hear this. No one could ever think this was anything but an unfortunate accident. I know you are devastated, and I am just so sorry for all of you.

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

:(

Anna I am so sorry. I really have no advice... sorry.:(

But I think Logan said it best...


It is not your fault, Anna. But I understand your guilt. You have all learned a lot from this experience, even though it is a hard lesson.

[anna_66]

He was a tiel.

Thank you for your kind words everyone.

Is there anything I could do for her as a I'm sorry gesture? I just don't want to say "Sorry" and that be it, but I don't know what else to do:(

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

maybe a card... just to let her know in words...

That will probably make both of you feel a little better...

[stacwase]

Oh, Anna - I feel so bad for you! I would be just sick over it, too. You know what they say - "If hindsight was foresight . . . ". You really had no way of knowing that bird would be out.

You know - even though she might not be ready for another bird right now, you could get her a gift certificate to a pet store or something so she could either get another bird when she felt ready, or she could pamper any other pets she might have.

[Soledad]

Anna, that's awful!!!

I agree, it was just an unfortunate accident. I'm glad she was reasonable enough even during her grief to realize that.


Accidents happen to all people, even kind-hearted well-intentioned ones. Next time we see an article about a pet's death or injury we should think about the feelings of the people involved rather than assign blame. It helps no one.:(

[Kona & Oreo's mom]

I think that a card or a handwritten note expressing your condolences on her loss would be best. Maybe just to comfort her while she grieves. What a terrible accident. :(

[popcornbird]

Originally posted by anna_66
He was a tiel.

Thank you for your kind words everyone.

Is there anything I could do for her as a I'm sorry gesture? I just don't want to say "Sorry" and that be it, but I don't know what else to do:(

Now I'm even sadder. :( :( Poor baby. *sniff*

I really don't know what you can do. I mean, if I were in her place, I know that nothing, absolutely nothing would be comforting to me. I agree on the card, and maybe visit her, give her some hugs, and cry with her. I'm really so sorry that you're in such a situation right now. She must be really devastated, but she seems to be very patient and considerate from her reaction. I would not have been like that. I really don't know what I would've done if I were in her place. :(

I know you must be feeling horrible and guilty right now, so here's a big {{{hug}}} to make you feel better.

Accidents happen, and when they happen, there's nothing you can do about it. It was just so very unfortunately, meant to be. As for getting her another bird...........a friend of mine lost her 6 year old cockatiel, a few years ago when they had guests over, and one of the 3 year olds decided to put a pillow on the poor bird and sit on it! :eek::(:mad: Of course the little one died immediately. She was so hurt, angry, and upset and still is. She hasn't forgiven the girl or her family. :( Her father got her another bird after a year, thinking she may accept it then, but no....she made him return it. :( I don't think you should offer another bird yet, even though I know that you do it with the best of intentions, it may be hurtful for her, you know, because no other bird can replace the sweet soul that she lost. Again, I'm so very sorry to hear this. So so sorry. :( I really don't know what I can say that would be of any comfort, other than its very unfortunate that this terrible accident was bound to happen. :(

[tatsxxx11]

Oh, Anna!:(:( Being the sweetest, most gentle and caring person that you are, I know how absolutely devastated you must be. But you can't blame yourself, or Roxey either:( It was an accident. You didn't know Baldey was out of his cage and Roxey just doesn't know better:( Mark's mom knows the loving and compassionate person you are and I'm sure she knows how awful you feel and the last thing she wants to do is to make you feel worse than you already do. I agree that a note to her, expressing your deep regret and saddness would be appreciated. And I think it will make you feel a little better too. Perhaps a small donation to a bird rescue group or your local shelter in Baldey's name? Please, don't blame yourself Anna. We all feel for you:( Baldey, rest in peace dear creature.

[lizbud]

Oh Anna, that's so sad. I'm sorry for you both.:(

It's very understandable, with company over & the dogs,kids,
a sweet baby to fuss over, etc. It's an unfortunate accident.
I 'd probably send or give her a card also, or send some
flowers & a note. R.I. P. little birdie.:( I know you must feel
as bad as she does about this, but please don't blame yourself.

[HoRsELUvR]

Im so sorry.dont beat yourself up about it,it wasnt your fault.

[lovemyshiba]

Oh, Anna I'm so sorry to hear of this.
How awful you must feel:(
Roxey didn't know any better, and all of the hoomans were so busy, it's no one's fault, but sad just the same.

Maybe you could donate to some sort of rescue (Best Friends comes to mind here) in Baldey's name for her, and send a nice card.
One of the vets here makes a donation to the SPCA for any animals under his care who pass on to the bridge, and the owners get a nice card and plaque with the dog's name on it...just a thought.


RIP Baldey:(

[Cheshirekatt]

Anna,

I'm so sorry for what happened. It was an unfortunate accident.

Maybe an engraved rock with his name on it that she could put in her garden or keep inside as a memory?

:(

[Amber]

Dont worry Anna, it was all a accident. It's not your fault...It Nobodys.

[Cincy'sMom]

How sad!! Don't blame yourself though, Anna. It was an accident that you could not have forseen.

[RubyMutt]

Anna, don't blame yourself :( IMO, if they knew 3 large dogs were coming over they should've put their bird away. It's no one's fault. Just an accident, it was Baldey's time. I like the idea of a card, maybe a boquet of flowers as well. I also love Kat's idea of a memorial stone. That would be sweet :) Maybe you could give her a copy of the Rainbow Bridge poem/story?

[2kitties]

ah anna, I can't imagine how awful you must feel, but you know it was an accident. Your friend knows that as well. She'll grieve for a while, but certainly she doesn't blame you.
Don't beat yourself up.

[gini]

Anna, you could beat yourself up forever about this, and I hope that you won't.

It truly was an accident and I am sure your Mother-in-law knows that.

I like the idea of giving her a personal card with your handwritten note telling her how awful you feel.

When the time is right and she is ready - perhaps then you can convince her to get another pet of her choice.

I do feel terrible for you it must have been so upsetting.

[shais_mom]

OH ANNA!
How upsetting.
I have to agree with Soledad. Placing the blame on someone doesn't help anyone or the situation at all. A donation in memory of Baldy is an excellant idea.
Roxey probably just thought that it was a toy. I think Keegan would have done the same thing.

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

As much as we all love our furkids we have to remind ourselves that they do have natural instincts, which they WILL follow.

I am so sorry this happened - but don't blame yourself - no one person is responsible - it was just a really terrible accident!

I agree with the others, maybe a card / flowers or something would be a nice gesture. Then in a few months, offer again to take her out and get a new pet. (Yes I know you can never replace any loved one, but it can help to fill the void, and give the person something positive to focus on)

[Rachel]

Oh Anna, I know how devastated you must feel. As far as what you should do, just let her know how badly you feel about what has happened. I know you have already done that, but as others have said a note or another call. Just so she is aware that you don't take the situation lightly. Then try to comfort her on the loss of her pet. Afterall, you are one of the people who truly understands the depth of a relationship a person can have with a pet.

But please do not feel guilty any more. It was an accident and not your or Roxey's fault.

[KYS]

How devasting for the both of you.
Poor thing, it was an accident.
I am so sorry. :(

[pitc9]

Oh Anna, I'm so sorry... I feel so bad for you!
I don't know what to say...:(

RIP Baldey

[Tonya]

Anna, I am so sorry that happened. I would get her something sentimental that has to do with the bird. Like perhaps a nice picture framed with the bird and a RB poem.

[GoldenRetrLuver]

Oh Anna. How devistating. :(
It was an accident...it wasn't your fault.

RIP Baldey.

[anna_66]

She decided she wanted another bird!

She said that she just missed him so much and so did her other bird (she wasn't eating). So we got her another one Monday night:D

She was so happy! We were going to let her pick it out, but we found one that we thought she'd like and Mark called her & she said "Bring it home!".

I haven't gotten any pictures yet, but when I do I'll post them.

Thanks again everyone for trying to make me feel better, but when I found out she wanted another bird, I think that's the only thing that made me feel that way.

[Cataholic]

Oh, Anna, I am so glad! Now the healing can truly begin for everyone!

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

Oh, Anna, I am so glad! Now the healing can truly begin for everyone!

Very well said.

Thanks for the update... can't wait to see the pictures.:)

[stacwase]

That's wonderful! I'm so glad to hear it. Has she picked out a name yet?

[Logan]

There is nothing like a new darling to help heal a grieving heart! :) Anna, I know it helped you to be able to do something for her that would make her smile. Can't wait to see the pictures of the new addition! :)

[captain]

Oh Anna,

Sorry I am only coming onto this thread now. I agree with Logan 100%, but think that CheshireKatt's suggestion of the memory rock is a good one too.

Even tho you are able to get her a new birdie, I think the engraved rock would be a nice touch of rememberance.

[popcornbird]

I'm glad she decided that getting another bird will help her heal and fill the hole in her heart. Of course the new bird will never ever replace her previous pet, but hopefully, it will help her heal, and help her feel better! I'm glad you can do something to lift her spirits a bit.

[RobiLee]

Oh, Anna, I'm so sorry to hear about all this. Please don't feel guilty about what happened. I know that is easy to say. It really was a terrible accident and not your fault at all. I'm so glad that your mother in law has decided to get another bird. I hope the bird brings her tons of happiness. Let us know its name and how things are working out. Post some pics if you can.

Hugs....Robin :)

[carole]

Oh Anna, I am so glad to hear she decided to accept your offer, this will help ease the grief she feels for Baldy somewhat.

I certainly did not envey the awful position you were put in, and everyone else has said it all, try not to continue to beat yourself up over this, it was just an awful tragic accident.

Her acceptance of the new bird, will indeed help you to feel a little better too, I agree with the stone for Baldy, I did this for my RB Sooti, infact I chose a heart shaped one and personally my daughter and I decorated it, maybe you could do the same for Baldy, I am sure the owner would appreciate your effort.
:)

[anna_66]

Well, I've finally remembered to post a couple pictures of my MIL's new bird Joey. He's not really wanted to be handled much so the pictures are in his cage.
She really loves him and is sooo happy to have him!

I think Roxey might have even felt bad. When she came over the first time after the incident, Roxey just walked up to her, put her ears back and put her head in my MIL's lap. After that look...all was forgiven:D

[anna_66]

And here's one more.

[mugsy]

What a cutie. I hope he comes out of his "shell" (pardon the pun:p )

[Cookiebaker]

Oh what a cutie! Welcome home, Joey! :)

[Cataholic]

Hi Joey! Nice to see your smiling beak..

[lbaker]

RIP Baldy but a HUGE welcome to you dear Joey!

[luckies4me]

Cute! He looks like a baby still in those pics. :D

[tatsxxx11]

Aww, Joey, what a cutie!:D And Roxey, I'm sure all was forgiven long ago!:) Welcome to your new home, Joey!:D

[ChrisH]

Aww, he's a real cutie!:D