Devastated! :o(((((((

[kimlovescats]

I don't feel like talking much about this ... it all happened so suddenly. Just wanted my PT friends to know that my baby kitten, Autumn passed away this morning. I don't think I can take in any more babies after losing two in such a short period. I am devastated. :( :( :(

For those who don't remember Autumn.... here is an attached pic of her. She was a precious tiny girl, and seemed so full of life.

[catland]

I'm so sorry that you lost Autumn.:( :(

[slick]

Oh Kim I'm crying with you :( :( and I'm sending hugs to you. Autumn was sweetheart and she knew how much you loved her. When you feel like it, please give us more details. Was she sick?? RIP sweet Autumn and enjoy the sunshine up there.

[shais_mom]

so sorry to hear this.
Godspeed to the bridge sweet Autumn.

[Nomilynn]

:eek: OMG I'm so sorry!!!!!! You will be in my thoughts :( :(

[PayItForward]

Goodbye sweet Autumn enjoy your new life on the bridge. :(

{{{Hugs}}} and positive thoughts to you Kim.

Life is so cruel sometimes :(

[catlover4ever]

Kim, I am so very sorry for your loss. It is never fair when they are taken away from us so early. {{{{hugs}}}} to you.

[K & L]

OMG! Do you know what happened? Oh poor Kim, this has got to be so hard. I'm so sorry.

[Bari_d]

You really have been through a lot of late...she just wasn't strong enough, Kim. You did everything you could. And its the loss of the little ones that always seems so devostating and hard to understand. Don't let it overpower you...think of the successes - that's the only way to go on in kitty rescue. I pray God will comfort you and free your heart. Bless you, my friend.

Bari

[2kitties]

I'm so sorry Autumn had to leave. It is awful when they have to go so quickly. But you rescued her from somewhere awful, right? You gave her a chance, but her beginnings were just to tough on her. She was lucky to have known someone like you who loved her.
Autumn, I hope you're doing well at the bridge.

[Prairie Purrs]

I'm so very sorry. :(

[kitten645]

I'm so sorry for your lose. This world was never meant for one as beautiful as this angel. :(

[Cataholic]

Oh, Kim, I am so sorry to hear about Autumn. Sometimes our best just isn't enough, and God needed her with him, instead, for a bigger plan. Today, we can't see it, we can't know it. I am just so sorry for you and Autumn, that your time together couldn't have been longer. Hugs and special thoughts to you, Kim.:(

[Samantha Puppy]

I'm so sorry to hear that, Kim... I'm sure Cataholic is right though - God had bigger, better plans for her elsewhere. :( If you need to talk/vent/cry/scream, we're all here for you. (((((((((kimlovescats)))))))))

[Barbara]

I am so sorry. You do so much for these kitties.

[ramanth]

*HUGS* :( :( RIP sweet Autumn.

[jenluckenbach]

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of Autumn. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[RedHedd]

:( OMG I'm SO sorry. I guess God needed another pretty kitten at the Rainbow Bridge. So sad. :(

[Denyce]

I am so sorry. I remember when I First saw her pic...I just wanted to be able to smoozle that little face...she looked to be a very special kitten. At least she had you to love her.

Denyce

[Randi]

I'm so sorry to hear you've lost little Autumn. :( She has been lucky to be with you and you did what you could. May she find some friends on the RB to play with.

Rest in peace Autumn.

[Killearn Kitties]

Oh I am so so sorry for you and baby Autumn. What happned to our darling?

I'm sorry I just can't say any more, I am too upset.

[ChrisH]

Kim, I am so, so, sorry. :(

Rest in Peace sweet baby Autumn.

{{Hugs}}

[lizbud]

I'm so very sorry to hear about sweet Autumn. Such a precious
little babe & such a short time on earth.:( :(

[NoahsMommy]

I'm so sorry, Kim. :(

She was too good for this world...that little angel.

[jazzcat]

Oh Kim, I'm so sorry!!

Hugs from your TN neighbor!

[bluekat]

oh no Kim, I'm so sorry:(:(:(
{{{hugs}}}
RIP sweet Autumn:(

[Miss Meow]

Oh no, Kim, I'm so sorry {{{hugs}}} How awful for you :(

[Lorraine]

Kim, I am very sorry.:( {{{{hugs}}}}

[popcornbird]

Oh no! :( :( :(

Autumn was such a beautiful kitty, and I know you did all you could for her. God had planned this to be her time to leave this world, and maybe God has some other plans for her that we humans cannot comprehend. I'm so very sorry for your loss. :(

{{{hugs}}}

:(

[Soledad]

Oh Kim! I hope you do not give up, you are such an amazing friend to animals. Bless you and little Autumn. Neither one of you deserved this. :(

[carole]

OMG Kim I was also devastated to hear of little Autumn going to RB, I was so in love with her too, I showed all her pics to everyone, she was so beautiful, I cant believe this, this is so awful, I am crying with you too Kim, please when you feel up to it, let us know what happened, this is such a shock.

HUGS TO YOU KIM.

[captain]

Kim

{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}] across the miles. You do soooo much ..... at least Autumn's time, even though short, was filled with LOVE.

[Steffi N]

Kim, I'm so sorry {{HUGS}}
Rest in peace, dear little Autumn.
She was such a darling kitten.
Please let Tucker and your other kitties comfort you.

[Felicia's Mom]

I am so sorry for you.:(

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

I am so sorry to hear about sweet little Autumn. :( Unfortunately for us, she must have been badly needed at RB. :( :(

She was such precious little girl and I can only imagine your grief right now. It's amazing how fast we fall totally in love with these sweet kitties.

Kim, take time to grieve for the two precious babies you've lost, but please don't give up. There are soooo many that wouldn't have made it without you, and I'm sure there are many, many more that need you.

Warm healing {{{hugs}}} to you. I'm so, so sorry. :(

RIP sweet Autumn.

[luckies4me]

I'm sorry for your loss. She looked so healthy and was a very beautiful kitten. :(

[auggie]

Kim, I'm so very sorry.
She was such a precious little doll baby.
I fell in love with her when you first posted her picture.
My RB Tazzy will be waiting for her.
Hugs

[krazyaboutkatz]

Kim, I'm so sorry to hear about Autumn's passing. :( She was such a sweetheart. You're in my thoughts and prayers. RIP baby Autumn. Please take care. {{{{HUGS}}}}

[catcrazylady]

I know I am fairly new here but I saw the pictures when you introduced little adorable Autumn! I know from just the short amount of time that I have been here that everyone understands your pain. It's such a sad time. I'm so sorry for you, but I know Autumn is in a wonderful place. Never give up because these lost furry babies need all the help they can get from loving and kind people like you. May God send you peace.

[Kater]

Kim ~
I'm so sorry about darling Autumn.
Now she is happily playing at the Rainbow Bridge.
(((((BIG HUGS)))))
Please don't blame yourself, sometimes things just happen.

[rg_girlca]

Kim, words cannot express how deeply sorry I am over the loss of precious little Autumn. My heart goes out to you.

((((((HUGS)))))

Rest in Peace dear sweet Autumn.

[kimlovescats]

Thanks so much for the kind and loving words. I will now explain the course of events. Autumn seemed to be fine one day, and was dying the next. The only "sign" I had that anything might have been wrong, is that she was sleeping more .... but she still was eating and drinking and would follow me through the house. However, I told my husband to keep an eye on her .... as I am now working full-time on second shift. When I got home that night (last night) my hubby was sleeping on the couch with Autumn wrapped in a towel. I knew right then it was bad, because he usually is in bed before I get home at midnight. Anyway, she was dying right then .... only taking breaths every minute or two ...... and getting cold. (This is hard to write :( )
Anway, she was gone within a few hours. Of course, I tried in vain to force fluids, broth, nutri-cal ... anything I could think of on her, but it was clearly too late.

I know many of you are thinking .... "why didn't you go to an emergency vet"..... well, to be quite honest, we do not have the money right now, or the available credit ....... and our emergency vet charges $75.00 up front just for entering the clinic. Yes, I have "beat myself up" over this, but I really do know in my heart, that there wouldn't have been anything a vet could have done for her at that point.

I operate on "donation only" ...... and place so few of the cats / kittens I take in, that I am always running "in the red"..... this is why my credit cards are all maxed out and now even overdue! :( :(
I am not looking for pity, I would do it again in a heartbeat .... if my credit companies would raise my limit :rolleyes: but I know that I have to quit taking in more than I can financially support. The thing that really messed me up right now is that my husband's payroll was changed from weekly to monthly.... so we won't get a paycheck until the 30th of this month. Also, my new job won't pay until then as well. If this had all happened in about 2 weeks, things would have been handled much differently .... but I still have to believe that all the money in the world wouldn't have made a difference in Autumn's outcome. I just have to believe this, or else I could never forgive myself. :(

[captain]

Quoted by kimlovecats
I still have to believe that all the money in the world wouldn't have made a difference in Autumn's outcome. I just have to believe this, or else I could never forgive myself. ...

.... Oh Kim, I believe in my heart that Autumn would have moved onto the Rainbow Bridge ...... even if this had occurred 2 weeks from now. Unfortunately, when it is time, it is time ..... :(

You are absolutely not to blame ...... you took her in, cared for her, and I believe if she had appeared to be in such a bad way, you would never, ever have hesitated ....... as you said, she was sleeping more .... but still eating and following you .....


{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

[popcornbird]

Originally posted by kimlovescats
If this had all happened in about 2 weeks, things would have been handled much differently .... but I still have to believe that all the money in the world wouldn't have made a difference in Autumn's outcome. I just have to believe this, or else I could never forgive myself. :(

You know, God had set this time for Autumn to leave your loving arms and go to His. No matter what you did, no matter how much money you could have spent, Autumn's time was fixed, and God would've taken her nonetheless. Every living thing in this world has a fixed time to stay and a fixed time to depart, and nothing can change that. Its just that WE human beings don't know when that fixed time is, until it passes. We don't know when the time for a loved one to leave is, and that's why its so very hard on us to accept it. :( It was Autumn's time and there is absolutely no blame on you, whatsoever. Autumn only had a short life in this world, and that is because it was meant to be. Even if you spent a million dollars at the vets, if it was still her time, she would still have gone. There's no blame on you, so PLEASE don't feel guilty for ANYTHING. Maybe that's why her name was Autumn........because autumn was to be the last season she would ever see. :( I'm sure Autumn will be telling God how much you loved and cared for her in this world, wherever she is now.

{{{hugs}}}

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

Kim, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know this is very hard for you. Autumn will be waiting at the RB, and at least she was blessed with the love of one of the most caring people I know (YOU), in her short life.

It was her time to go, but whilst she was here, you made such a difference in her life, and I hope you can gain strength from that.

(((HUGS))))

[Lerah021399]

Kim,

I'm so sorry to hear about Autumn. Thank you for taking her in and giving her a good home until she went to the RB. (((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Tonya]

I am so sorry to hear that. Don't give up. Think about how many kitties have had good lives because of you.

[Karen]

Sweet Autumn, season fleeting
Like the echo of a kitten's footfalls
Dear kitten, swift you came and went
No hard frost to signal, but still
As leaves turned gold and fell
You left your earthly home
But you will linger
In peoples' hearts
Long after the season has fled
Sweet Autumn
We love you
Woodsmoke and big eyes
Newest kitten angel
Watch over us

[Logan]

Karen, your words are perfect, as always.

Kim, I am terribly sorry to read this news. Please don't blame yourself. I'm just so sorry that she is gone. She was a beautiful little girl. :(

Rest in Peace, sweet Autumn.

[sqwelch]

Poor Autumn, she was such a cutie aswell. Kim you did everything you could for her, gave her loads of love and attention and as you say I doubt that a vet could of helped her. You need to stop beating yourself up, you did everything possible and your kindness would of been appreciated loads by Autumn and all other rescues you've helped !!! The world needs more people like you !!!

[amoore]

im so sorry about your little autumn . that is the hard part about love is loosing these sweet little creatures . atleast autumn got to experience your sweet love and care , befor she went to kitty heaven .

[rosethecopycat]

Oh Kim-

I'm so sorry that Autumn needed to go so soon to the RB.

I know you do what you can, and the kitties really need you.

As a fellow foster, upon reading your last post about finances, I am pleading with you to hook up with an organized rescue organization. They handle the financial element. You don't have to bear that burden. I'm not saying that she could have been saved with emergency care, we lose them too.:(

But, I hope you find it in you to stay strong and keep on the path. for her and the others, who don't make it, there are those who do.

I know we've spoken before, but PM me if you wish.

Siameserescue.org

Godspeed to the bridge, little Autumn.

[catmandu]

Please accept the Condolences of all of us at the Lost Cats Hotel. And dont cry , Autumnis now with the Cat Angels in Cat Heaven, and please know that he loves you very much , and appreciates what you did for him.

[catcrazylady]

My heart breaks for you. I experienced something similar with a little lost soul who needed my help. Because my husband looked at me and sadly said that there was no way we could take in any more, and because I knew that I could not financially care for the cat I turned him away from my door. I offered him a box with warm blankets and food but not my love and shelter. The night that I closed the door on that face will haunt me for the rest of my life because my neighbor found him frozen to death in her front yard the next morning. He was sick and needed help and I turned him away. That was a few years ago and I can still see his face to this day. I cry when I think about it and this is hard to write and to admit that I could even do such a thing. I vowed it would never again happen and I still pray for God to forgive me for what I did. The reason I tell you this is because you need to have the peace in your heart and the knowledge of how wonderful you made her short time here. You will be blessed and I know God will ease your pain. You showed her love and kindness and I truly believe in my heart that a vet could not have saved her. She got the chance to die peacefully in loving arms and not in some cold sterile place being poked and prodded. Take comfort in knowing what you gave her because I will never know that peace concerning one lost needy baby. God bless you and don't give up. I haven't.


The one that I gave up on will haunt me until it is my time to leave this earth.

[kimlovescats]

Thank you everyone!

Thank you for the beautiful poem, Karen!

Rosethecopycat.... I have been unable to locate a truly responsible "organized" rescue in my area. The only one I know of in my hometown will not deal with other rescues as my own, and they charge for each take-in!? They don't recognize any other rescue program as being "official". They really NEED to deal more closely with others, as their phones are always unavailable .... you can't even reach them! :confused:

Catcrazylady.... thank you SO much for sharing your very innermost feelings and experience. I know it was very difficult for you to share, and I truly appreciate your having done so! It does help to know that others have "been there"!


;)

[wolfsoul]

Oh my gosh, that's so sad. :( Autumn was adorable.

[shais_mom]

I have to agree with you Kim. There was no way you could have prevented it. I don't think bad of you nor did I automatically assume you should have taken her to the E-vet. Sometimes God has other plans for them and for us. Little Autumn knew she was loved and she died knowing love. That is the most important gift you could have given her. If love kept us alive, none of us would ever die.
{{hugs to you!}}

[carole]

Can someone please tell me what was wrong with Autumn, why she died so suddenly? I seemed to have missed this, hope no-one minds me asking?

[Cookiebaker]

I am so sorry for your loss, Kim. What a beautiful angel-kitty she is, and now running and jumping at the rainbow bridge with all the other kittens.

Please don't blame yourself!! She looking down right now with a heart full of thanks for all the good care she got while she was with you.

Rest in peace sweet Autumn!!

[Uabassoon]

Kim I'm so sorry to hear about what happened, I know you must be feeling horrible. But please don't blame yourself, I know you did everything you can. You are such a wonderful person and you have helped to save the lives of so many cats. I'm always amazed at all the things you have done to help animals, I know that sometimes it can be heartbreaking when something like this happens. But you should always be proud of yourself for everything you have done.

[moosmom]

Kim,

I am so SO sorry about little Autumn. But being in rescue, you KNOW how fragile they are at that stage in their little lives.

The thought NEVER, EVER crossed my mind about why you did or did not take her to the emergency vet. You did everything you possibly could for her in her short little life. And you NEVER, EVER beat yourself up over this. Animal Rescue is a crap shoot, girlfriend. You need to take a step back, take a deep breathe and grieve. I had to not take in anymore cats for a short time too. But it was burn out after what the shelter did to Carrie.

Carole,

I don't think they will ever know WHY Autumn went to the RB unless they do a necropsy, and THOSE are very expensive. It could've been a failure to thrive or Distemper which is VERY common in young kittens. We'll never know.

Now Kim needs our support and needs to grieve for her little girl. Hang in there Kim. We're here for you.

[carole]

Gosh I am real sorry if I appeared to be insensitive, I honestly thought I had missed a thread, Kim has my deepest sympathy, and support..

[moosmom]

Carole,

No apology necessary. I didn't mean to sound like I was chastizing you, believe me! I'm sorry if I made you feel that way
:(

[moosmom]

Kim,

Did the vet give any indication that it MIGHT be Distemper or FIP?? With FIP you can't tell unless you order a necropsy. But Distemper has very specific symptoms. I had an outbreak of it when I was in CT. I had 3 foster kittens who I was bottle feeding. They all died from it within days of each other. My vet told me that it can stay airborne for up to one year and to bring in any young kittens not vaccinated for it till the room was crubbed from ceiling to floor with Chlorox (and ONLY Chlorox) Bleach.

Hang in there, okay. You are doing a great thing by taking in orphan cats and finding them homes. Don't let it get you down. And if you need to talk, you've got my number.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Donna

[HayleyRosie]

I am so sorry to hear of Autumn passing. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[IttyBittyKitty]

Words really are insufficient at times like these ...

Kim - there is no one on this entire board who would ever accuse you of not doing everything you could for little Autumn. Or any of your other kitties.

Rest assured that somewhere up in heaven there is a special place on the RB being built by all those kitties whom you have loved who have since passed on. They are waiting to meet you again, enjoying the sunshine, warmth and love in the meantime.

You have a special place in all of our hearts, Kim, please remember that we love you and admire what you have done for all those helpless and abused kitties.

[moosmom]

IBK,

RIGHT ON!!!

[sasha the cat]

:( :( Mew, Kim, KatMa and I are crying. Autumn was a sweet little one and so lucky she had you on her side. At RB all the pets are loving & caring for her now.

Mew, mew, Kim -- that is the hard part of rescue; sometimes we lose the battle.

The great thing about you, Kim is that you give animals a chance. Being a rescued cat myself I know Autumn loves you, always will and will be waiting for you when you cross RB.

[kimlovescats]

PT friends are the BEST friends!!!!!!! ;)

Love and Hugs,
Kim