I'm in a real funk today

[moosmom]

I guess it started on Saturday. I'm homesick and want to go to CT to see my daughter and friends.

Saturday was the 30th anniversary of my Mom's passing. Sunday would have been my Dad's 76th birthday. :(

Every year I go through somewhat of a funk beginning on October 10th through Christmas. (One week before Christmas after my mom passed away in 1973, we had a fire in our house in which my grandfather was killed). Last year was when my Casey Bubba Dude went to the RB. But it's never really been this bad. :( :(

My daughter called me last night asking me to PLEASE come home for Christmas. I explained to her that I can't because Christmas is on a Thursday and I have to work Friday or I don't get paid. Besides, the airfares are outrageous. She laid a real guilt trip on me, hanging up abruptly when the conversation was finished.

I can probably drive home for Thanksgiving (12 hours each way) providing there's no traffic and the weather is clear. I'll have 4 days to visit.

I'd prefer to fly so I can spend more time with everyone.

*sigh* I hope this passes. I hate feeling this way. :( :( :(

[catland]

I can see why you are in such a funk. Maybe you could try to visit your daughter the weekend of the 20-21st or even the 13th-14th? Airfares might not be so expensive then and you could still exchange presents and have a holiday meal together.

That was pretty unfair of your daughter however. Why can't she fly out to visit you? Airplanes fly both ways.

Either way, I hope you can start feeling better soon and find a way to enjoy the holidays again.

[micki76]

Originally posted by catland
That was pretty unfair of your daughter however. Why can't she fly out to visit you? Airplanes fly both ways.


I was sorta thinkng the same thing.

Anyway, I hope you feel better soon. I know it's a long drive, but perhaps it would make you feel better to be there? 4 days is a pretty good visit.

Sorry you're feeling so down. :( I understand how it is when you get in a funk like that. And I hate it when people tell me to cheer up, so I won’t do you that way. :)

[jenluckenbach]

Donna, I sure hope you can feel better soon. Don't let your daughter make you feel guilty for having to do what you have to do (work after christmas.....for example). You can certainly visit earlier or later. Christmas does not need to be celebrated on the 25th in order to make it special. When my mom was still alive she always had our family christmas dinner on a Sunday NEAR, but not on, the 25th so that her grown children with spouses and families of their own did not have to FIGHT as to where they would spend Christmas day. Now go do something special for yourself so you can cheer up a bit. OK?

[moosmom]

Last night when I hung up from her, I SWORE I wasn't going to let her get to me. She has a way of doing that ALOT!! When I was living in CT, she was so co-dependent on me. That is one of the reasons I moved to MI. She's 27 and needed to be more independent. But it seems that she can still find a way to push my buttons, even if she IS 663 miles away :mad:

As Eleanor Roosevelt quoted "No one can take advantage of you without your consent".

Thanks for the words of support. I don't mean to have a "pity party". Just needed to vent.

[emily_the_spoiled]

Donna, I hate to be the one to tell you that it doesn't matter how many miles are between you and the "button pusher". The buttons will always go off if you let them ... there are 3,000 miles between me and my family and they can still manage to do it!

Over the years we have learned not to celebrate holidays together as a family. They are just too emotionally charged and never end well. We try and celebrate either earlier or later but definitely never on the "day"... it just creates to many problems.

[Albea]

Originally posted by moosmom
As Eleanor Roosevelt quoted "No one can take advantage of you without your consent".


And I'll add to that: "Nobody can make you feel guilty without your consent."
I hope you can get over this funk soon. The kitties and all the pets you help need your smiles to be happy. And we are also here with our funny stories and pictures to lift your spirits.

[anna_66]

Donna,
I'm so sorry to hear your in such a *Funk*. I do hope you can get over it soon (like by this Sunday, can't go to the park being in a funk can you;) ).

sidenote~family always know how to push the right buttons:p

[ramanth]

A funk? Is that anything lke the funky smell coming from the litter box!? ;) :D

I hope you feel better soon Donna. *HUGS*

[moosmom]

I just e-mailed Amy and said "How about YOU flying out HERE for Christmas???" Now let's see what she says.

Emily,

If you looked in the dictionary under "Disfunctional Families" you'd see MY family portrait there. Has been that way since I was a kid. Now that I only have my daughter, friends and 3 cousins left, it's not as bad.

Anna,

I'm sure by Sunday I'll be feeling alot better. Afterall, I'll be with all my NEW friends :D.

Kimmy,

Thanks for putting a smile on my face ;).

[RobiLee]

Awww...Donna. I'm so sorry to hear you are in a funk and feeling blue. I wish I was there to give you a great big ol hug! I'm hoping I get to do that this sunday. Hang in there, girl!

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}........Robin:)

[Fox-Gal]

I'm sorry your feeling down, I know that feeling, all to well and I wish that you didn't have to go through it.

My Mother passed on Memorial Day and I too get in that "Funk". It's been 27 years and still every year it hits me, that mood or funk as you say. I'm sure the last thing you needed was for your daughter to be so unfair about things on top of it. I hope you funk has passed and hope that you can work something out with your family for the holidays.

Holidays should be shared with loved ones if possable but that doesn't mean your buttons should be the only one pushed. Start pushing some buttons yourself.:D

Next year do what I do, I know that the "Funk" is going to happen. It always happens. So ever years now I have a group of friends over for a Bar-Q. It does helps.

Feel better.

[moosmom]

Oh RobiLee,

After what YOU'VE been through, I feel SO foolish having a personal pity party, whining about the funk I'M in :rolleyes:. I'm glad you're going to be there on Sunday. I need a hug and I think you do too ;)

Fox-Gal,

I'm sorry about your Mom. It doesn't matter how much time has passed, it still hurts. My Mom died when she was 44 years old from lung/brain cancer. I was young when she died.

I always seem to get through this funk, one way or another. But you have the right idea! Having a barbeque with all your friends. Maybe that's why I'm also homesick. All my old friends are in CT. I'm just greatful I have such wonderful friends here on PT. They let me vent, rant and rave and like me anyways :D.

[dukedogsmom]

I read this in the morning but couldn't comment on it then. I know it's hard not to be angry about your daughter. That was my first reaction, too. Do you think she was lashing out at you because she was really upset that you couldn't come and she was very disappointed? I agree that the planes fly both ways.

[RobiLee]

Hey Girl! Don't even be talking like that. No such thing as being foolish when it comes to a funk!...lol. We all go into funks once in awhile and sometimes they can be hard to get through. If you need to talk and vent and have a pity party feel free to. I'm listening! Don't let that pity party go on too long though or I just might have to drive up there and kick you in the butt!! Its starting to look like I might definitely be coming to the dog park. I'm hoping to know for sure tomorrow. I can't wait to give you that big ol hug!

Hugs....Robin:)

[moosmom]

I've asked my SIL, who owns a travel agency, if she has any frequent flyer miles she can loan me so I can go to CT for Thanksgiving. I've decided not to tell my daughter I'm in town. I know it sounds cruel, but I'd rather spend a quiet 4 days with my cousins then 4 days of arguing with my kid. It always ends up that way. I'm going to see if I can stay at my cousin Jean's house (if my friend Susie decides to take the train to PA to spend it with her daughter at Drexel).

I talked to my daughter last night about her "tude" when I said I couldn't come home for Christmas. She denied having an attitude (as she ALWAYS does). I asked her if she got my e-mail about coming HERE for the holiday. She said "No Ma, I don't want to come to Michigan for Christmas." So I shot back, "Well I don't want to come to Connecticut for Christmas either, so there!" I also told her I was pissed that she could be so selfish. She finally apologized for making me feel bad.

This yo-yo mood of mine is really getting on the last nerve I've got left. I've also been having WEIRD dreams. Last night it was about an old boyfriend and a former fiance who died of a massive coronary at the age of 41. Very strange. Maybe that's why I'm so tired, because even though I'm sleeping, the dreams are VERY active and vivid, so it's like I haven't slept.

Who knows. *sighs* *shakes head* :rolleyes:

[emily_the_spoiled]

Donna,

I am so sorry that you are still having problems. I can understand you reasons for not wanting to stay with your daughter over the holiday weekend. I know I am going to see my family in about a month and I will not stay with them (I am staying with friends). There comes a time in everyone's life when you just don't need the stress that goes along with family and holidays!!!

Go enjoy some turkey and friendship with your cousins and have a good time on the holiday!

[slick]

Sorry to hear this Donna. Family troubles are never easy to deal with. Fortunately, my family lives 20 min from me so I really have no choice but to spend the holidays with them and there are times I'd rather just spend them with Max and Speckles. Sounds like you need a change of scenery so I hope you get away at some point and have a relaxing time. As for your dreams, stress can do that. I've experienced that firsthand.

If all else fails, you can come visit me ;) ;)

[shais_mom]

Oh Donna, I am so sorry for your 'funk'
I don't blame you for not wanting to go to Conn when the airfare is so high and when you have to work. Your daughter should understand that. :(
We are here for you to vent whenever. And I don't think you are having a pity party either.
We are all entitled to our own troubles and tribulations. I remember when Shaianne died (my RB greyhound) I was such a mess at work, I told one of the girls I work with I felt kinda stupid for crying like that in front of her b/c she had almost lost her husband recently, and even tho at the time I wasn't one of her favorite people, she said to me "Don't feel bad about that at all, we are all entitled to our own little tragedies, and I am very sorry to hear about your dog." I think that pretty much sums it up.
Email/PM me if you need to talk, Donna.
{{{Hugs to you}}}
Staci