Did we do the right thing?

[alexnell]

A warning to those with weak stomachs--this will be a graphic post. Also long, sorry.

I recently heard some disturbing things about my vet. I won't go into details, but it is making me question some of the decisions I made based on his advice. The most worrysome is the decision to put Toby to sleep. Please let me know what you would do in this situation.

Toby was a 14 yr old black lab. He belonged to my husband's uncle. The uncle was moving off his farm in May and couldn't take Toby with. My husband and I volunteered. Toby hadn't been eating well over the winter, and was very thin. He was deaf and had severe arthritis. Uncle hadn't taken him to the vet in at least 5 years, and he hadn't had a bath or been brushed since the previous fall because uncle thought it would be too painful for him due to the arthritis. Toby had laid on his side alot, creating a sore. I found the sore when I brushed him the Saturday night I got Toby. I think the type of sore is called a hot spot--it was red and oozing underneath all the fur. It stretched over his hip and around to his rear. And it was covered in hundreds (literally) of maggots. I removed as many as I could and washed the sore. We took Toby in to the vet Monday. He hadn't eaten anything except 2 treats and 2 peanut butter sandwiches (not the greatest diet, I know, but they were his favorite, and we were desperate to get something in him). The vet told us that the best we could do for Toby was put him out of his misery--the few days he had left would be not worth living in his condition.

I agreed at the time, but now I wonder if there wasn't something we could have done--maybe the vet just didn't want to have to bother with such an old dog. Please advise.

[delidog]

this is a very tough call...but i do not like your vets' advise!!! though poor toby was neglected to begin with...a sore can be cleaned and healed...the arthritis can be eased with bute...or aspirin...the dog needed i.v. fluids from the vet....with vitamins to bring him back to where he might want to eat...you said he ate peanut butter sandwiches, ergo he had an appetite....sorry,you asked for an opinion...its' not what you want to hear....but i do not like your vet one bit...i would have seeked another opinion...deli dog

[jackiesdaisy1935]

alexnell, I'm so sorry you had to be put in that position. I don't know for sure but it seems that 14 years is pretty old for a Lab.
We don't always agree with our Vet, but maybe he felt Toby was in so much pain and he didn't see any hope with the arthritis, being deaf, no appetite and the terrible sore. Maybe it would just prolong the suffering by keeping him alive. That is such a difficult decision to make, we had to do that last October with our 15 year old Schnauzer who had terrible arthritis, going blind, lost all control, and in terrible pain. I feel that you did what you thought was the best thing for all of you including Toby.
Jackie

[Logan]

I think you should not second guess that decision. First of all, if this was your normal veterinarian, who you trust with your own pets, then you should trust him now, with this decision about Toby. I guess if I were to be angry or second guessing anyone, it would be the uncle who let him get into such a terrible situation in the first place. What a terrible situation to let the dog get into...maggots, no veterinary attention for 5 years?

You did a very noble thing, trying to help him, and gave him love and dignity in his final days. Do not beat yourself up about this, or blame your vet. I'm sure he did what was in the best interest of Toby, who is happy, healthy, hearing, seeing and running now. Of all his 14 years, I'll bet his best days were the ones he was with you.

Logan

[aly]

I agree with everyone. 14 years is a great age for a lab. Mine lived to 15, but her last year or two were pretty tough :( The healthiest thing for you to do is trust you did the right thing. You can't doubt yourself or the vet right now because you can't take the decision back. You had only the best intentions for the dog, and I know he is in a better place with no pain now. Try to accept that he is resting in peace and you did the right thing.

[Daisy's Mom]

Ditto for me. You should not feel bad at all. You made that dog's last few days happy. And now that she is in a better place, she thanks you with all her heart.

[MHMama]

It is always hard to make a decision like that and second guessing it won't help. The poor thing was 14 years old, had been suffering for some time and although it hasn't been mentioned yet, along with all that, he lost his human (your husband's uncle), he lost his home, (the farm) and he had a lot of medical problems. He had too many counts against him and your Vet must have figured that out too. I don't know any Vets that enjoy putting an animal down and if he was a "bad" Vet, he would have kept him around and taken you to the cleaners financially with the same result.
You did the best you could and you gave him the best care you could under the circumstances. My hats is off to you and my prayers are with you and your family. You did your best and that is all any of us can do.

[TheAntiPam]

Alexnell, I'm very sorry to hear about Toby and all his difficult times. You used both your head and your heart to help him!

Don't forget, you CAN go back to the vet and ask them for an explanation. Not accusing them, but wanting to be sure you understand why they recommended what they did. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, not every detail of a medical condition gets discussed thoroughly.

My cat died from a tumor, and even though we had a 2nd and 3rd opinion, I still wished and wondered about other things I could have done. I did go back to the first vet and talk about the case 9 months later. He used his files and memory to help, but the answer came back the same.

Sometimes just because we CAN do something doesn't mean we SHOULD do it. This caring is tough work sometimes...making choices for pets can be heartbreaking!

P.S. Good point about the vet fees, MHMama.

[Karen]

It was a terrible situation that neither you nor Toby should ever have been put in.


From Toby

A life so long I lived so well,
Happy and strong up on my farm
So many jobs had I, so hard
I worked to keep my friend from harm

Then age crept up
Made us both too sad
My hurts just lingered
And we both felt pretty bad

The day came, and with it kind folks
Who gave me sandwiches and care
Though I missed my farm, my master
And the carefree days I ran out there

So many hurts, so sad was I
The white-coated man
Made my close my eyes
And finally, again, I could run, could fly

Here at the Rainbow Brige I wait
For him whose life I shared so long
And peanut-butter sandwiches abound
And all the farm animals I knew who passed on

But when thosee kind people come through, I'll greet them, too
Whose kindness made the pain go away
But for now, I'll wait, pain-free and strong
For my master, dear master to come through that gate

[alexnell]

Thank you all for your kind words and advice.
And the poem--its so beautiful.

I hope we made the right decision. If we did make a mistake, I think Toby will forgive us. He was such a loving soul that maybe he'll see that we tried and that we loved him. I really hope so.

[ September 10, 2001: Message edited by: alexnell ]

[Dixieland Dancer]

Karen,
The poem was sooooo beautiful. Thanks for sharing it with us.

I think you responded with a loving heart for Toby. I personally think that second guessing the point now will only bring your kind heart anguish and pain. If you question the vet still, then maybe you need to find another vet you feel more comfortable with for the future.