hmm...cosmo girl...eh?

[iceyshiver21]

Ok, Last year for Christmas one of my friends ordered Cosmo Girl for me..and all though it is a very informational magazine and I do enjoy laughing at the girls telling their embarrassing story, I found something that struck a nerve, well enough for me to post about it.

In there was an article that somebody sent in about a time when she went to a late night movie with her friends, the theater was pretty much empty and she left by herself to go and use the restrooms. As she was washing her hands a guy with a gun came in and raped her. =S He called her a piece of s*** and left. She started to cry and her friends came in to find her crying on the floor. She never told her parents. She never got a Rape test.

This is what bugs me..."She never told her Parents and she never got a rape test" If she would have done either of these he could have been stopped. He might not have had another chance to do it to somebody else. She could have put him where he belongs. I understand how scary and life reckoning this can be, I've had first hand accounts. I just makes me so angry that she could have stopped him and she didn’t.

So what other thoughts does anyone have?

[Kfamr]

I'm wondering if this is a true story.
How could she send it into a magazine for millions to read, yet not tell her parents or the police?

[Soledad]

It's sad. And I think it would have been better had she reported it, but I can understand her feelings at the time.

Imagine the confusion, anger, sadness you would feel afterwards? Not to mention the shame.

There have been a lot of cases of women being put on trial themselves after filing a rape case. They're sexual history is questioned and they've been made to feel responsible. So, until we make the process more friendly to defendents we can't expect this to stop.

[iceyshiver21]

Originally posted by Kfamr
I'm wondering if this is a true story.
How could she send it into a magazine for millions to read, yet not tell her parents or the police?

I too wondered if it was true. But it is easier to send an anonymous email in then it is to tell your parents, I soppose.

[Dogz]

Originally posted by Kfamr
I'm wondering if this is a true story.
How could she send it into a magazine for millions to read, yet not tell her parents or the police?

That's the first thing that crossed my mind. Wouldn't somebody find out if she put it in a magazine? I think she should have told someone, but like Soledad said, you wouldn't just go around telling people that you got raped. I know I wouldn't want to tell anyone either.

[Kfamr]

I'd atleast want to tell my parents, or someone to help me. I mean, what if I was to get pregnant, or got a STD?

[KYS]

posted by Soledad: There have been a lot of cases of women being put on trial themselves after filing a rape case. They're sexual history is questioned and they've been made to feel responsible. >>>>>>.

Not sure if the article is true,
but some woman are raped twice,
once by the rapist and than by the system.

Do you remember the harrasment case with Anita Hill (a lawyer,) and a Judge C. Thomas who was going to be appointed, I believe to the Supreme Court?
Her name was dragged into the mud and the judge
in question was still appointed, if I re-call.

[iceyshiver21]

Originally posted by KYS

Not sure if the article is true,
but some woman are raped twice,
once by the rapist and than by the system.

Do you remember the harrasment case with Anita Hill (a lawyer,) and a Judge C. Thomas who was going to be appointed, I believe to the Supreme Court?
Her name was dragged into the mud and the judge
in question was still appointed, if I re-call.

Anita Hill, Is that the case where the judge said it was her own fault that it happened to her?

Kay- Thats another thought. I mean wouldn't it be better to tell them right away to were they can do somthing about it and prove that that happend. Instead of when she starts gettting morning sickness. Then how much are her parents going to belive her?

[momofcats]

It is sad that she didn't have the kind of relationship with her parents that she could feel comfortable going to them in an emergency like this.

Originally posted by Kfamr
I'm wondering if this is a true story.
How could she send it into a magazine for millions to read, yet not tell her parents or the police?

Adult women who are raped have a difficult time handling the emotions and feedback ("what was she wearing, why was she there, look at her past, she asked for it") so how can we expect a teenager to know how to handle it initially.

Yes it would have been in her interest to tell her parents and police, but after being emotionally and physically violated thinking straight and making the right decisions may not be forth coming anytime soon. Not only does she need to be checked out physically by a doctor, she probably needs someone (therapist, counselor) to talk to about some psychological side effects.[

[Cheshirekatt]

It's very easy for us to sit back and say "she should have told someone".

Rape is not about sex, it's about power and control. He raped her not only physically, but emotionally as well and there will be issues she will have to deal with for the rest of her life.

When you're in this situation, you do whatever it takes to survive. Some people emotionally cannot handle the ordeal of a rape kit, questioning and trial.

As was said before, often the vicitm is raped twice.....by the offender and by the system.

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Originally posted by Kfamr
How could she send it into a magazine for millions to read, yet not tell her parents or the police?

YES!! I say that about the people who ask embarassing questions like:

My periods late but I don't want to tell anyone.

I had sex with my boyfriend and I don't want my parents to know, what should I do?

Answer: Tell the whole fricken world in a magazine because you don't want anyone to know.

How idiotic.

[PepperRSM]

true, but those ppl don't usually put their names, they put: from, really scared, or from: please help..or something like taht, not even names. or they could just make up a name and location if they didn't want anyone to know but still wanted to send it in.

[primabella]

Originally posted by PepperRSM
true, but those ppl don't usually put their names, they put: from, really scared, or from: please help..or something like taht, not even names. or they could just make up a name and location if they didn't want anyone to know but still wanted to send it in.

She's right. If I had an embarassing personal question and I was to scared to ask my parents or friends I would write to a magazine. Why not? It would be anonymous and I would get my answer.

However I would NOT ask to have a whole article made out to me.

[Cataholic]

Don't you see that we are doing a similar injustice now, by questioning, "did it REALLY happen"...why didn't she tell, etc? I don't have any problem seeing someone not telling.....for whatever reason...it is too hard to face society.


(and, btw, ALOT of those stories are published with names either changed, or not printed. Maybe she was hoping she could help someone with her story.)

[primabella]

(and, btw, ALOT of those stories are published with names either changed, or not printed. Maybe she was hoping she could help someone with her story.)

That's true. Actually a lot of these articles I would read affect me one way or another. I may learn something. Actually I still remember most of the stories I have read and let's say the topic of drinking and driving comes up, an article I read about someone killing someone because they drove drunk will come back to me.

Anyways, hopefully this article will show people they need to react in order to catch them or maybe just teach them something. Yes she should have told somebody though.

[Tonya]

I don't want to get all into it. But that did happen to me and I didn't tell anyone for years. It's hard to explain, but it really damages your self esteem so much that you blame yourself. You don't want to tell others because you are afraid that they won't believe you or that they'll blame you.

It really upsets my husband that I won't do anything about it. He wants me to give this guy's name so he could find him and I won't. He doesn't understand that pressing charges or getting even will just relive the memory. I'd rather put it behind me.