RobiLee
10-04-2003, 10:03 AM
Hello All
I haven't posted here for awhile so I don't even know if anyone remembers me. I do check in once in awhile to see what is being said but I just feel to tired to do any responding. I'm feeling a bit blue today so I thought I would post on here and do some whining. I feel like I am in a fog just trying to type this out. The cancer group calls it attentional fatigue..lol...yep...they have a name for everything that is ailing you. I've had 2 surgeries and am now doing radiation treatments. I started out with 28 treatments and I am now down to 10. Two weeks to go! Trust me...we count down every time we go. Can't wait til I am in single digits! Can't wait til it is over!!! The radiation is making me extremely tired, lots of bathroom problems and nausea. The nausea comes in waves and come and goes. We radiation patients love the weekends cause that means no zapping treatments and our bodies get a chance to heal and rest but as always Monday rolls back around and we have to start over again. AWWW!!!.....I'm so tired of it all!!!! The week before I had radiation everyday plus 3 doctor appts. I'm tired of docs, nurses and hospitals. And Needles!! Hubby knew it was a rough week for me (hard on him too) so last friday before he left for work he woke me up and told me he had made a reservation at one of the riverboat casino hotels and that he was getting off work early and we were packing a bag and taking off for the weekend. It was great!! We didn't really do much but we had a great room with a great view that overlooked the riverboat and the Ohio river and it was beautiful and relaxing. It was just so nice to get away from the house and the hospital. On the way home we stopped at Ceaser's Creek flea market and I even found an Akita tshirt and that just made my day. I love that hubby of mine. He always knows how to make me laugh and make me feel better. Yesterday I woke up feeling pretty decent knowing that it was friday and I would have the weekend off but right before I left for my treatment the doctor's office called to tell me that my pap smear was abnormal and that they had sent it back for a culture and I immediately went into panic mode. I get so scared and then hyper that I don't fully understand what is going on because 50 million things are running through my head..like mostly...oh my god the cancer is back..Then I get mad cause I know that this is something I am always going to have to deal with. They say that it will always be in the back of your mind but that it will ease up and be easier to deal with. Anyway....I freak out and talk to my radiologist doc about it he tells me to relax and talk to my gyn again and have her explain it to me again. By the time I get back home I am still scared about it and have worked myself all up again and as hubby describes it he says I came in like a big thunderstorm and he couldn't even make sense of what I was trying to tell him. He calmed me down and we called the doc back and she talked to me and explained it all really well to me. This time I was able to pay attention and it turns out that is was abnormal , so they sent it back, its not anything bad and its due to the fact that my body has been through some trauma and because of the radiation. I will be having lots of check ups to make sure that everything is still all clear. Woo....I am really rambling here and I don't even know if anyone cares or is reading this...all I know is that it sure has helped to sit here and talk about it...lol. Ok...the cancer is gone and I just have to finish up treatments and hopefully life can get back to normal...lol..what is normal! Oh yeah....I'm starting back to work tomorrow. Thought I would give it a try. Just 2 days a week and they are just half days. I'm hoping it will help fight off the fatigue. Being home everyday makes it too easy to just curl up on the couch and sleep away the day. Not that thats a bad thing....lol. Well, this sure has helped me out today. I think I'll even try to respond to some of the posts today. Thanks for letting me whine. I hope everyone else is doing well.
Take care all and have a great day....Robin
P.S....Katie the Akita is doing well. She keeps me busy and happy. While I was typing all this I heard some noise and had to go check on her...of course she has been into making mischief again. She has gotten a hold of some toilet paper and has papered the living room with it. I also have noticed that the book I am reading is in the middle of the floor and has been chewed on. I think I will be able to finish reading it....lol. I have filled up her kong and put her in her crate for a time out. She is growing so fast. I need to get some pics of her and post them on here.
I haven't posted here for awhile so I don't even know if anyone remembers me. I do check in once in awhile to see what is being said but I just feel to tired to do any responding. I'm feeling a bit blue today so I thought I would post on here and do some whining. I feel like I am in a fog just trying to type this out. The cancer group calls it attentional fatigue..lol...yep...they have a name for everything that is ailing you. I've had 2 surgeries and am now doing radiation treatments. I started out with 28 treatments and I am now down to 10. Two weeks to go! Trust me...we count down every time we go. Can't wait til I am in single digits! Can't wait til it is over!!! The radiation is making me extremely tired, lots of bathroom problems and nausea. The nausea comes in waves and come and goes. We radiation patients love the weekends cause that means no zapping treatments and our bodies get a chance to heal and rest but as always Monday rolls back around and we have to start over again. AWWW!!!.....I'm so tired of it all!!!! The week before I had radiation everyday plus 3 doctor appts. I'm tired of docs, nurses and hospitals. And Needles!! Hubby knew it was a rough week for me (hard on him too) so last friday before he left for work he woke me up and told me he had made a reservation at one of the riverboat casino hotels and that he was getting off work early and we were packing a bag and taking off for the weekend. It was great!! We didn't really do much but we had a great room with a great view that overlooked the riverboat and the Ohio river and it was beautiful and relaxing. It was just so nice to get away from the house and the hospital. On the way home we stopped at Ceaser's Creek flea market and I even found an Akita tshirt and that just made my day. I love that hubby of mine. He always knows how to make me laugh and make me feel better. Yesterday I woke up feeling pretty decent knowing that it was friday and I would have the weekend off but right before I left for my treatment the doctor's office called to tell me that my pap smear was abnormal and that they had sent it back for a culture and I immediately went into panic mode. I get so scared and then hyper that I don't fully understand what is going on because 50 million things are running through my head..like mostly...oh my god the cancer is back..Then I get mad cause I know that this is something I am always going to have to deal with. They say that it will always be in the back of your mind but that it will ease up and be easier to deal with. Anyway....I freak out and talk to my radiologist doc about it he tells me to relax and talk to my gyn again and have her explain it to me again. By the time I get back home I am still scared about it and have worked myself all up again and as hubby describes it he says I came in like a big thunderstorm and he couldn't even make sense of what I was trying to tell him. He calmed me down and we called the doc back and she talked to me and explained it all really well to me. This time I was able to pay attention and it turns out that is was abnormal , so they sent it back, its not anything bad and its due to the fact that my body has been through some trauma and because of the radiation. I will be having lots of check ups to make sure that everything is still all clear. Woo....I am really rambling here and I don't even know if anyone cares or is reading this...all I know is that it sure has helped to sit here and talk about it...lol. Ok...the cancer is gone and I just have to finish up treatments and hopefully life can get back to normal...lol..what is normal! Oh yeah....I'm starting back to work tomorrow. Thought I would give it a try. Just 2 days a week and they are just half days. I'm hoping it will help fight off the fatigue. Being home everyday makes it too easy to just curl up on the couch and sleep away the day. Not that thats a bad thing....lol. Well, this sure has helped me out today. I think I'll even try to respond to some of the posts today. Thanks for letting me whine. I hope everyone else is doing well.
Take care all and have a great day....Robin
P.S....Katie the Akita is doing well. She keeps me busy and happy. While I was typing all this I heard some noise and had to go check on her...of course she has been into making mischief again. She has gotten a hold of some toilet paper and has papered the living room with it. I also have noticed that the book I am reading is in the middle of the floor and has been chewed on. I think I will be able to finish reading it....lol. I have filled up her kong and put her in her crate for a time out. She is growing so fast. I need to get some pics of her and post them on here.