What's your opinion?

[puppygrrl4eva7]

what do you guys think about people with significant age differences dating, or being married?

My dad is 5 years older than my mom.(they are divorced now though) But I remember on the Maury show, a while ago they had a show called "Odd couples". There would be some 70 year old dating a 20 year old or whatever. I think that's just insane, but it would be different if they were just 10 years apart.

But, Where do you think the Line is drawn when it comes to age difference?

P.s. If this thread is pointless tell me and I'll delete it........

[babolaypo65]

It's not pointless. In my opinion as long as both people are legal adults, and there is no power difference between them (ie like teacher/student, boss/employee, coach/athlete) then I have no objections to an age difference.

[GoldenRetrLuver]

My parents are 3 years apart, and that's fine. :)
I find it insane/sick for an 80 year old man to date a 30 year old. I don't think it's right....

JMHO.

[2kitties]

When you're 15 and your boyfriend is 25, that's sick (and illegal). When you're 35 and your boyfriend is 45, that's perfectly normal.

As far as May/December relationships... I think it depends on the individuals. I do believe that love CAN BE ageless. I just don't always believe it is...

[slick]

My Dad was 20 yrs older than my Mom and they had a happy marriage for over 40 yrs. My dad died in 1995. I have a friend in England who has been with his girfriend for 8 years now and there is 16 yrs difference. Love has no boundaries and if they are committed to each other, why not.

[Kfamr]

If a 12 year old is dating a 20 year old, that's gross.
If a 20 year old is dating a 70 year old, that's gross.

Dating anyone old enough to be your grandparents is sickening. Especially if it's just an old perverted person lookinbg for someone young. :eek: :rolleyes:


In some cases, I guess just as long as it's legal.

[primabella]

I do believe that love CAN BE ageless. I just don't always believe it is...
Exactly. I see it as one of those "If you're lucky" things. My grandparents were over 10 years apart and were married until my grandfather passed away. But then I hear of some people who are like 17 tears old and dating 40 year old men, breaking up families and everything. That's just wrong.

I heard on TV that when Catherine Zeta Jones was born, Michael Douglas was winning Oscars. Whether it was a joke or not, EW! lol :p

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

I agree with slick.

If you love each other, that's what's important. Same with homosexuals. Their choice, and it's not our job to ridicule them about it.

[tikeyas_mom]

my dad is one year older then my mom, but I have a friend whos mom is 40 and dad is 80, I think it is kinda disturbing!! her husband could be her own father..!!!! :eek:

[Dogz]

My opinion is kind of confusing, in a way.;)
Well, I don't think a 70 yr old should date a 20 yr. old.
I don't think a 11 yr. old should date a 20 yr old.
BUT, I don't think that a 30 yr old and a 40 yr. old is wrong. If you know what I am saying.:)

[Cataholic]

I don't think age is nearly as significant as life experiences. There are some same aged people that just shouldn't be together, and there are some differently aged people that simply belong together! That is the reason a 15 year old and a 25 year old is so appalling to me(despite the legal issues), but, not a 30 year old and a 45 year old....

[Tonya]

A friend of mine is 45 and her boyfriend is 23. :rolleyes: I think it's horrible. People stare at them all the time, and often mistake her as his mother. I think it is totally uncool and unfair that her sons have to worry about their mother stealing their friends. I am sure that they are embarrassed by the fact that some of the guys she has dated are their age.

[babolaypo65]

When I was 25, I dated a man who was 45. He and I didn't have a problem with it at all, nor did his son. I guess it all depends on the specific situation.

[carole]

They say age is but a number, but I think it does matter in the examples put forward like a 15 yr old dating a 25yr old, no way, but a 30 yr old and 45 yr old is ok, there comes a time in life where maturity hits, and the age difference does not seem to matter, but it depends on each individual, their personality and maturity, I feel.
I was once dating a man 13 yrs my senior but I was 30 at the time, and it did not make much difference to our relationship,except because he was older, he thought he knew better, hence we did not stay together, however he was an american with spanish background, so kinda victorian in his ways, so perhaps it was not the age thing at all, just his up-bringing.

I do find it hard to see what a 40 yr old could possibly find attractive in an 80 yr old myself!

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by babolaypo65
When I was 25, I dated a man who was 45. He and I didn't have a problem with it at all, nor did his son. I guess it all depends on the specific situation.


I was in a similar situation. I was 23, he was 37....THEN, I saw nothing wrong with it. NOW, I think I was taken advantage of....what about you?

[babolaypo65]

Nah, I don't think I was taken advantage of. I learned an important lesson really, I had always assumed that ALL older people knew more, had all the answers, had it all figured out... and in the past had probably done some dumb things because of it. But being with him I realized that he DIDNT have all the answers, and really was no wiser than I was in some ways. He was really rather...stunted. It taught me that not all older people are wise...
I dunno, does that make sense?

Sorry to hear you were left feeling taken advantage of. Hope it wasnt anything too bad.


Originally posted by Cataholic
I was in a similar situation. I was 23, he was 37....THEN, I saw nothing wrong with it. NOW, I think I was taken advantage of....what about you?

[Twisterdog]

In my opinion as long as both people are legal adults, and there is no power difference between them (ie like teacher/student, boss/employee, coach/athlete) then I have no objections to an age difference.

I agree. I think who someone dates/marries is no ones business but their own. Who are we to say what is/is not correct, appropriate, right or wrong for two adults? It's really none of anyone's business who someone else loves.

Life is short. If one is lucky enough to find that special person that they can love forever, why should it matter to anyone else if that person is 10, 20, 30 years older or younger?

My grandmother was 11 years younger than my grandfather. They were happily married for almost seventy years, madly in love until the end. They had four kids, twenty some grandkids, almost 100 great-grandkids. They were the sweetest, most loving couple I have ever seen, seriously, still crazy about each other until the day my grandfather died. So, why should anyone care that he was eleven years older than she?

My brother in law is 15 years older than my sister, they've been married for almost 26 years. Again, whose business is it that they aren't nearly the same age.

[cali]

well my parents are 10 years apart, it doesnt seem bad now, but when you think about it my dad was 16 when my mom was 6!:eek:

[Fox-Gal]

What's my opinion? lol

Well I'm 45 and my husband is 27....So I guess you know my opinion on it. :D

Honstly, before I meet him I didn't think I could ever see my self with a younger man. Thought it was a little sick. But after a few years of dating men more my age, I just got tired of some of their ways. I'm not a typical 45 year old woman so most men my age bored me.

Then I meet my now husband and after a long time of him convincing me to give him a chance...I did. I'm gald now I did, He a wonderful man and not a typical 27 year old. So we match well toghter.

Age doesn't matter, it's what the combination of two people toghter makes and as long as that combination makes you a better person, happier person, stronger person, then that all that matters in the long run.

I am a better person because of him as is he because of me.

So for those that think it sick or odd, remember that use to be what I said. But things can change real quick when you meet that special someone. :D :D ;)

[iceyshiver21]

I guess if your in love go for it!! UNLESS OF COURSE...your too young to know what love is...

[Pam]

Wow Fox-Gal that is a different slant on the topic! Usually it is the older man/younger woman thing that makes it to the papers, etc. Do we dare mention Anna Nicole? :p I am wondering what your in-laws feel about your marriage. Looking at your situation I believe if you and your hubby are both happy then so am I, but if I was an in-law I might feel differently. My son is 29 and I think if he began dating a woman 18 years his senior I would not be real happy. (No insult intended! I am just being honest!) Have there been any problems?

[jenluckenbach]

Just so you know, My husband of 20 years is 18 years older than I am. Proof that it can work and be true love depending on the individuals involved.

(my huband graduated high school in the year I wasn born :eek: )

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by babolaypo65
Nah, I don't think I was taken advantage of. I learned an important lesson really, I had always assumed that ALL older people knew more, had all the answers, had it all figured out... and in the past had probably done some dumb things because of it. But being with him I realized that he DIDNT have all the answers, and really was no wiser than I was in some ways. He was really rather...stunted. It taught me that not all older people are wise...
I dunno, does that make sense?

Sorry to hear you were left feeling taken advantage of. Hope it wasnt anything too bad.


And, maybe it is because of how you explained it, but, I think that is what I was referring to. In my situation, I think he was stunted. I was 23, one year out of college...what did I have to offer to someone 37 yo? Nothing, in my opinion. But, I kept him from having to deal with people his own age...and that, I am sure, was alot easier for him.

[Cataholic]

And, so that it is clear I am not being offensive to Jen and Fox-gal, this was MY situation, he was a troubled man, and still is! So, I believe it can work, and should work.....

[Tonya]

Nah, I don't think I was taken advantage of. I learned an important lesson really, I had always assumed that ALL older people knew more, had all the answers, had it all figured out... and in the past had probably done some dumb things because of it. But being with him I realized that he DIDNT have all the answers, and really was no wiser than I was in some ways. He was really rather...stunted. It taught me that not all older people are wise...

My first husband was 32 and I was 19 when we got married. That is exactly what I learned. Just because they are older doesn't mean they are wiser! lol.

[Fox-Gal]

Originally posted by Pam
Wow Fox-Gal that is a different slant on the topic! Usually it is the older man/younger woman thing that makes it to the papers, etc. Do we dare mention Anna Nicole? :p I am wondering what your in-laws feel about your marriage. Looking at your situation I believe if you and your hubby are both happy then so am I, but if I was an in-law I might feel differently. My son is 29 and I think if he began dating a woman 18 years his senior I would not be real happy. (No insult intended! I am just being honest!) Have there been any problems?

His mother amazed me when it came to us. From the first day I meet her till the day she passed, she loved me and made me promise to always be a part of her family. I've never had a problem with any of his family, honestly I was expecting some problems.....but none ever came up.

Now my Father was taken back at first, till he meet him. He question was "What does that boy see in you?" I still not sure how to take that question...:rolleyes: He's ok with it now. He's only problem now is, he just wants Paul to learn to play golf, if he going to be a part of this family. LOL

I understand your honety about if it was your son dating a older woman. I went months before I would even meet Paul's mother because of that reason. I just knew she would have a problem with it and I could not blame her. I too thought the same thing, if it was my child, how would I feel? The day I first met her she greeted me at the door with, "Oh you are beautiful" and huged/kissed me. So all my worrys were for nothing.

I think what is came down too is once they saw their child happier then ever before, they set aside their frears and finally realize that the only thing that matters is thier happiness. Before Paul I had gone through a terrible marriage and a nasty divorce, that lasted years and years. My X did some horrible things towards the end, so I belive that my family was just gald to see me smile for a change.

[mugsy]

Mike and I are 7.5 years apart (I'm older) and it means nothing. I guess I don't think it really matters if you care about each other and have something in common.

[2kitties]

Originally posted by Fox-Gal
What's my opinion? lol

Well I'm 45 and my husband is 27....So I guess you know my opinion on it.

stands up and cheers! YOU GO GIRL!

[Karen]

I think that once you are adults, it doesn't matter much. There's so much involved in marriage besides physical attraction or "consumating" it. Love and friendship, trust and interests in common ... All those things should factor in before age, and for some people, age doesn't matter!

I read when I was a teenager that, because women live longer than men, women should marry someone 8 years younger than themselves ... but those 3rd-graders didn't really appeal to me! (For the record, Paul and I are within a month of each other agewise (I'm older!).)

[mugsy]

I forgot....my parents are 9.5 years (to the day) apart. My dad is older. He is 85 and my mom is 75 and they have now been married for 54 years.....I guess that answered that eh?? lol

[G.P.girl]

i think when you are young age matters alot because people are

maturing then , and the difference between a 16 and 19 year old

is so much greater than the difference between a 32 and 35

year old. but when you get to be in your mid-late twenteis age

does nnot matter so much, but then when you get to be in your

sixties age starts to make a difference because if you are 20

years younger than your partner chances are he/she will die long


before you even start to think about death. that is what i think

anyway...there is also the fact that it is ok for a woman to go out

with a younger man, but if an older man goes out with a younger

woman he is called a freak and a sick person and a pervert. why?
:confused:

[PayItForward]

IMO as longer as the youngest person in the relationship is 18 years old (or older) than any age gap is acceptable.

But children under 18 need to be protected.

[mugsy]

there is also the fact that it is ok for a woman to go out

with a younger man, but if an older man goes out with a younger

woman he is called a freak and a sick person and a pervert. why?



I find it just the opposite.

Also, my mother said that age didn't matter when they were young, but it makes a big difference as they age.

[Glacier]

My husband is six years older than I am. I don't find it makes any difference. He's actually the youngest man I've ever been with. I once dated a man 25 years older than me. Although the relationship didn't work out, for reasons other than the age difference, I have nothing but wonderful memories of him. Of all my ex's (not that many!) he's the only one I have any continuing contact with. He's happily married now to another younger woman!

[Fox-Gal]

Originally posted by G.P.girl

...there is also the fact that it is ok for a woman to go out

with a younger man, but if an older man goes out with a younger

woman he is called a freak and a sick person and a pervert. why?
:confused:

I never found that to be true, it is just the opposite. When a man dates/marries a younger woman people say things like, You still got it, way to go, what a lucky guy, etc.

With woman they get, what's wrong with you, are you sick, thats just wrong, etc. I know, I have heard a few of them before.

When it comes to woman there is always that neg. side put on it. With a man there always the positive side put on it. :confused:

There is a postive side to being married to a younger man. :D :D ;) ;)

[Fox-Gal]

Originally posted by 2kitties
stands up and cheers! YOU GO GIRL!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[CathyBogart]

Some of the judgements being made here (Mostly early on in this thread) really disgust me! Two of my friends are in relationships with BIG age differences. (One pair is ten years apart, the other is fourteen.)

How can you pass judgement on them without having seen or known them together. Seeing one friend who was discontent with life in general up until about a year ago so happy now has really changed the way I feel about these situations. Who cares if he is in his thirties, he makes her HAPPY! (They're planning their wedding now BTW! ^.^)

Don't judge someone else's happiness. :)

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by WolfChan
Some of the judgements being made here (Mostly early on in this thread) really disgust me!


:eek:

I must have misread them, then. I didn't see anything in this thread beyond people expressing their opinion. Nicely. Politely.
:confused:

[catland]

Cataholic - your comment about your relationship is valid. I do think that there are some people who only want to date younger people. They can't deal with the maturity. Then when that person matures, they dump them for another young person. We know someone just like that. She's now in her 40's, but only dates/marries young men. I always feel sorry for these guys because I know she'll grow tired of them and find another young man.

For those of you in long-term relationships with people much younger or older than you - that's great - it can happen.

My husband is four years younger than me - good thing we didn't meet when I was 17.:eek:

[mugsy]

Ok, now here's a scary thought. I did not meet Mike until I was 36 years old, so it was no big deal, but, I started subbing in December of 1988. He graduated from high school in 1988. I was 27 years old when I did my student teaching, so, that means that if I had gone into teaching right out of high school I would have done my student teaching in 1984. Thus, I could have been teaching my husband when he was a freshman! Scary eh?? He always reminds me of this too! hehehehe

[luckies4me]

Originally posted by G.P.girl
i think when you are young age matters alot because people are maturing then , and the difference between a 16 and 19 year old is so much greater than the difference between a 32 and 35
year old.


When I was 16, my first love and my first boyfriend was 19. There was not much of a difference. We were very honest with the love we felt for eachother, and to this day I can truly say we were in love. We are still the best of friends. My family just adored him. He was always there for me, for everything, and I was always there for him. We were supposed to be together.

Guys my age were simply not appealing. They were too immature and stupid for me to even glance at them for more than a second at a time. When I was 19, right before I met Dan, I dated a man 19 years older than me, and it was fun, for both of us! :D

I don't think I need "protecting" from anything, and neither did my parents. He would sleep over with us all the time, he was part of our family. Unfortuntely he needed to move away to Alabama to care for his father and I ended the relationship a year after he left. We learned a lot from eachother, and one thing was that you can love someone when you are 16, and you can learn so much from that experience. It taught me that age did not matter so much. If I was 14 and he was 20, I would think that a little odd, but we were made for eachother and so we dated and fell in love, the same as any other person would.

He still converses with my family reguarly as well. My mom always told me, that she was glad I lost my virginity to such a sweet young man. :) If it were to be with someone, she wanted it to be with him. Of course, that was before I met Dan. ;)

Now that being said, my fiance and the father of my son whom I have been with for 3 and a half years is 6 yrs older than me. I am 23 going on 24, and he is 29 going on 30. We met when I was 20. I can't stand the way guys my age act, talk, dress and just everything about most of them buggs me.

My parents are ten years apart, with my father being the oldest.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by mugsy
Ok, now here's a scary thought. I did not meet Mike until I was 36 years old, so it was no big deal, but, I started subbing in December of 1988. He graduated from high school in 1988. I was 27 years old when I did my student teaching, so, that means that if I had gone into teaching right out of high school I would have done my student teaching in 1984. Thus, I could have been teaching my husband when he was a freshman! Scary eh?? He always reminds me of this too! hehehehe


It figures.....

Mugs is the only one that could turn love into a
word/math problem...;)

Two people meet at school......

let's see,

carry the one..........divide this by........
subtract..........OH HELL, JUST BE HAPPY!


Quite a few kids have problems with their parents should they date someone younger than they are.
My GF's daughter HATED me.....She told her mom that she should find someone 'her own age'-

Why drive a Model T, when you can drive a Dodge
Dart?


My revenge??

I dated her mom for 13 years......

Her revenge?

When my GF was too sick to care for herself she took over her house. I wasn't allowed to call or visit. On the day she passed I didn't get a call-I found out from a ex-co-worker.............two days later.

Bitch!

Kids,
DO NOT BEGRUDGE either of your parents the happiness they may find with someone younger then themselves.

Parents,
Don't force your BF's or GF's on your kids. Talk to them and explain the situation - don't just bring the 'flavor of the week' home and expect your kids to be happy with that.

Use your head.

[slick]

Richard, that's really sad and it breaks my heart to hear that. I do hope you are happy with someone right now. That's the one thing that really scares me - D-A-T-I-N-G!! It's hard enough to find a single guy my age but since I prefer "no children" what are my chances?? And what if his kids don't like me?? What if I don't like them?? As far as dating someone younger than me, well, I'm 51 now so I suppose I could go as low as 48, but any younger and I would feel like I'm rocking the cradle. And dating someone 60?? I think NOT.

But as I've said before love has no boundaries and if the chemistry is there, go with it.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by slick
but any younger and I would feel like I'm rocking the cradle.



;)

I hear you, stinky diapers aren't my cup of tea either.


LOL,

Dating? what's that?

I had a conversation with a gal and asked if she'd like to take in a movie or a ball game...she deftly sidestepped the question. Later on she told me that she was looking for someone to, 'help her pay her bills so she could quit her job'.

An all too common thought these days..

And isn't it funny how the 'age of consent' goes down as we grow more mature???

:eek:

[slick]

Sounds like quite the gold-digger. I'm in the process of writing down my ulitmate date from hell so if you're interested in a long read, PM me and I'll email to you. Believe me, it will be worth it. Then maybe you can understand why I've stuck with 4 paws and fur up until now. And to top it all off, it happened on April 1st. :D As for other singles, we should share dating stories for a laugh.

[G.P.girl]

i guess i did not word it right because i think some people think i

am saying that a 16 yearold sould date a 16 year old and a 29

yearolod sould date a 29 yearold and so on...but what i am trying

to say is that the age differece that is "accepted" in todays

society changes as you get older...i am sure there are plenty of

couples who are decades older/younger than the other that are

prefectly happy togrther but i think that the mojority of couples

(in young people) that are waaaay apart in age dont work out.

maybe i am wrong....sorry if i am




ps.......i think Wrinkles is soooooooooooooo cute!!

[shais_mom]

I always used to say that I wouldn't date anyone Older than my sister. ( 6 years) The older I get the less that number seems to not look quite so important. Maybe b/c I haven't dated anyone for like EVER!
My parent's are 2 1/2 weeks apart! Been married for 35 years.
My grandparents are just a few months to been married for about 65 years and to this DAY my grandma tells my dad she wants to kick grandpa's ass!!! I am not sure if it has been pleasant or not!! :( But I wouldn't change a thing!

[CathyBogart]

Originally posted by Cataholic
:eek:

I must have misread them, then. I didn't see anything in this thread beyond people expressing their opinion. Nicely. Politely.
:confused:

You're right, re-reading the thread I must have been reading something into the posts that wasn't meant to be there. Sorry! :)

[Logan]

You have all made some very good points. It really depends on the individual. Now that I am a mom, with a daughter who is only a few years away from dating age, I will probably be quite opinionated when it comes to her choice of dates!! :p I wouldn't want my high school girl dating a college boy, most likely. :o But when she is out on her own and if she chooses to date someone older, and falls in love, then I will support her.

Heck, my husband is five years younger than I am. I worried about that for about one day when we first started dating!!!! Then, I was fine!!! He still loves to joke about his "older woman", but it is all in fun.

Logan