venting

[stacwase]

I'm so mad right now.

Of all the things in the world, there's nothing that makes me happier than my dog. He means everything to me! And twice in the last week, my husband has nearly caused me to lose him.

First, I have to explain that when Max is outside and sees a cat, if he's not wearing his Halti, I am 100% unable to hold on to him. In fact the last time I tried I ended having surgery and missed several days work. This is something we're going to work on but for now I just make sure he's always wearing his Halti.

So two days ago it was dark and rainy when we got back from a football game, and I thought my husband was helping me take the dogs out. But instead he handed me Max's leash just as Max was bounding out the door. He didn't bother telling me that he hadn't hooked the leash to the Halti, but to his regular collar. Of course, Max saw a cat and took off. I was unable to hold him and he ran off, and it was over an hour before the police found him for us. He could have been hit by a car or shot by some redneck.

I was beside myself. I was so upset - I thought my husband understood after that how important Max is to me.

But no. Early this morning, while we were still in bed, we got a phone call from a girl telling us Max was in her yard! We hadn't even been up to take the dogs out yet, so I was confused. But I went downstairs and saw that Max had jumped out the window. My husband had left a window open with a fan in it. He knows that Max will knock the fan out and run outside to play, because he's done it before! We had an agreement that he wouldn't leave any windows open more than a couple of inches while Max was out of his crate! So why did he do that??????

I think Max was out all night long. We could have lost him. Anything could have happened during that time! Plus it was a Saturday night - all sorts of teenagers are out all night long, and drunk drivers etc. etc. etc.

And now - Max isn't eating. I gave him his food and he has barely touched it. Max has never taken more than a minute to gulp down his breakfast. I hope he's not sick. He probably ate garbage all night.

[anna_66]

I hope that Max feels better soon.

Vent, that's what we're here for! Sometimes men are just men, they just don't think. Maybe now he will remember (just gotta guilt him a little;) ).

[Kater]

How scary! You are very lucky that Max came home safe both times. Does your husband not realize how easy it is for a dog to get hit by a car? It can take just a minute. I hope your husband starts to be more careful. You have a right to be angry--- these things you are asking him to do are not very hard at all. (but they are really important!!!!)

*HUGS* I can totally understand why you're upset.

I hope Max's tummy settles down so he can eat again soon.

[stacwase]

Thanks!

I guess it was stupid for me to get so upset - but I just don't want anything to happen to him. He still hasn't eaten. That is so unlike him. It was cold and rainy all night, too! :(

[ChrisH]

I don`t think you were stupid for being mad and upset, if it were me, I would have been too.
I hope Max is feeling better soon, please keep us posted.

Hugs
Chris

[isis]

Aw,poor Max.:( I hope that he feels better!:) If he isn't better by the next couple of days,You should take him to the vet.Hopefully its not anything bad.

[stacwase]

He finally ate, and now he's just laying around. I think he's exhausted.

I told my husband that if we don't keep him from getting out we won't have him very long, and that I would never forgive him if he let anything happen to Max. You know what he said? He said that Max is too smart to get hit by a car. Can you think of anything dummer somebody could say? Jeez.

But he did promise to be more careful.

We used to have a little poodle mix who was really sweet. She kept getting out of the fence when we took her out and, before we could figure out where she was getting out, somebody put a bug in animal control's ear and they started harassing us. The animal control guy started driving by our house many times a day, trying to catch Pepper out of the fence. We fixed the fence, but they still kept driving by. We only have one animal control guy, and he is very wierd and scary. I think he has psychological problems.

One morning my son was bringing her out and he got careless and she got away. I drove around looking for her and couldn't find her. About 1/2 hour later the animal control guy called and told me she had been "fatally injured". He said it was by a car, but I think he killed her.

I told my son we had found her a new home, because I didn't want him to know. I still tell some people that because I don't want my son to find out.

So I'm very concerned about what would happen to Max if he got out again. I haven't seen the animal control guy around yet, but if Max is seen anywhere near a certain lady's house we're going to be in trouble.

[Kater]

Originally posted by stacwase
I told my husband that if we don't keep him from getting out we won't have him very long, and that I would never forgive him if he let anything happen to Max. You know what he said? He said that Max is too smart to get hit by a car.

But he did promise to be more careful.
TOO SMART? :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Anyway, I'm glad he will be more careful from now on.
I'm also glad Max is eating again and settling down.

[ChrisH]

So glad to hear Max is eating again.:)

[stacwase]

Thanks, Chris.

I'm still a little worried, though. Max is a very physically fit dog and his belly usually doesn't reach down nearly as far as his chest does. Now it's just straight across - but it's not so swollen that you can see it sticking out when you look down at him from the top.

I don't know what he might have eaten, and I know big dogs are prone to gastric torsion. He ate, and he hasn't vomited or tried to vomit, so I'm not freaking out. Maybe it's just full of a lot of gas. He's been passing unusual amounts of it today!

[ChrisH]

Poor Max, I hope he isn`t in too much discomfort. I think you are right to be a bit worried about his stomach being swollen, you never know what he has in there! Gastric torsion is the same as Bloat right? I don`t know much about it but I think that it is if he is not passing the gas he is in trouble. Please don`t take my word for it though, like I said, I know very little about it. Anyway, I found bloat at the Pet Symptom Solver site and that may help, here is the link if you want to check it out.
http://www.ivillage.com/pets/petsymptomsolver/digestive/pages/0,,413227_437741,00.html

Sure hope there is nothing seriously wrong. Will be keeping him, and you, in my thoughts.

Chris

[Uabassoon]

Poor Max I hope his tummy gets better soon. I'm glad to hear that you got him back safely.

[dukedogsmom]

I would have been a nervous wreck! And, if I were you, wouldn't be speaking to my husband. I don't know what to tell you except it's much easier with just a dog :)

[Tonya]

I'm sorry, Stac! I feel your frustration. My husband isn't as much of an animal lover as I am. He is nice to MY dogs, but they are probably the biggest thing that we argue about. When they ruin something, I love them enough to not get mad. My husband, on the other hand, gets so mad that he threatens to get rid of them. He mainly says it out of anger, he would never do that to me. But, he doesn't care for them and love them the way that I do. :mad:

[stacwase]

Fortunately, Max is passing gas and looks like he's going to be OK. Who knows what he ate.

My husband just doesn't understand. He doesn't feel the same way as I do about dogs, at all. He acts like they're toys - to enjoy while they're around but not to get too upset about if anything happens to them. If a dog gets out his attitude is "Oh, well - he'll find his way home. If he doesn't we'll get a new one."

He really loves cats, especially kittens, but he doesn't care for dogs.

Thanks for the link, Chris - and sometimes I agree with you, Dukesdogsmom!

[carole]

Some MEN can be so THOUGHTLESS sometimes, it must be very hard when your partner is not quite so much an animal lover as you, GEEZ I would not be talking to him either.

I hope Max is ok and that he does not get away again, poor doggie!!!!

[cali]

oh I know what you mean about men no understanding though, my dad has kicked the dogs, and hit the dogs, and threatend to kill them for digging a hole in the middle of there yard. then of coarse he wonders why they wont come to him when he calls them :rolleyes: they arent stupid, I mean really, the number of times my dad losing his temper I stay away from him too;)

[tikeyas_mom]

I am glad max is alright :).

[micki76]

Originally posted by stacwase
My husband just doesn't understand. He doesn't feel the same way as I do about dogs, at all. He acts like they're toys - to enjoy while they're around but not to get too upset about if anything happens to them. If a dog gets out his attitude is "Oh, well - he'll find his way home. If he doesn't we'll get a new one."

He really loves cats, especially kittens, but he doesn't care for dogs.

Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I'd have to leave him. :mad: My husband shares my love for animals, and if he didn't it just wouldn't work out.

[dukedogsmom]

I think I might have to agree with you, Micki. That's one of the reasons I haven't found anyone else. If they're not really animal lovers like me, they're not good enough.

[carole]

My husband was an animal lover when I met him, thank goodness, however I think I was a bit more so than he, having grown up on a farm, alway's being around animals, (mind you, I learn't some hard thing's on the farm, like how the adorable bobby calves had to go to the meatwork's etc etc), but I have to say my husband adores his kitty-kats, I think living with me for over 12 yrs had rubbed off on him, he is a real softie when it come's down to it,both Ash and Lexie alway's choose to sit on him or near him rather than me, even though I am their prime care-giver sob sob, but yes I could not live with a man who doe's not share my affection for animal's.

Just last night he was telling me one of the girl's at work has two furkids, so I ask what are their colours, names, sex etc OH I DUNNO typical male, never finds anything out!!!!

[shotzi]

hiya - hope you don't mind me butting in - but you said "he" - uhem - are there any pretty lil female pooches out there that he could have fallen for? And is now missing? Just a thought.....

[stacwase]

Well, Shotzi - he's neutered. But whenever he gets out, the first place we check is his little "girlfriends" house down the street. All the neighborhood dogs seem to use her house as a meeting place, so I can usually find him there with her and 2-3 other dogs on the loose. If she's not outside he's a little more difficult to find.

You know - I myself have just learned to love animals over the past few years. My husband has always been nutso for cats, but I never really caught on to animals until Jake was about 3 years old and suddenly he became calm and trainable and sweet. It suddenly hit me, like a ton of bricks, that he had real thoughts and feelings and was a real 'person'! So I have to be somewhat tolerant of my husband's lack of understanding. BUT - knowing they're important to me should be enough to keep him from being irresponsible with them.

Don't you think?

[ramanth]

:eek: What a scary experience. I'm glad Max is home safe and I hope he feels better soon.

Hopefully your husband will get the hint. :)

[shotzi]

ha a social guy! that's cute -
Maybe he is just burnt out from a tough night out!
he's so beautiful - probably a real ladies man - haha look out!

[luckies4me]

Have you tried taking Max in for obedience training? It sounds like he could really benefit from training, and then perhaps they can teach you and your husband how to better control Max, without having to worry about him running away. I do understand how frustrating it could be, but have you thought of it from your husbands perspective? I am sure he must feel pretty awkward not being able to leave the window open for fear that your dog may get loose. I know if it were me, I would tell my boyfriend to get his dog some training, because I should be free to leave the window open as I please, without having to worry about some animal escaping. Just my point of view, and I am sure it would give you more peace of mind!

However, sometimes it is the men that need the training! :p It sounds like your husband doesn't care, therefor it is up to you to train your dog to be safe, if your husband should leave the window open etc. Perhaps an invisible fence would work well, so that he would not leave the yard even if he did get out? I would hate for something to happen to him.


Glad to hear Max is safe and sound, hopefully he will feel better soon. :)

[shotzi]

here is my picture of my beloved Niki forever and ever

[stacwase]

Luckies4me, Max definitely could use some obedience - but we live in a very remote area. There's only one place we can go for obedience training, and they're usually booked solid. Their schedule doesn't match mine, unfortunately. So - I'm trying to do everything I can to train him on my own. I got the book Good Dogs, Great Owners. I've been trying techniques from there, and they're working pretty well. In general he's a really good dog. There are just two areas we need work on - his reaction to cats while he's on the leash and his determination to go outside and play at all costs! The other day he actually completed a two-mile walk in a perfect heal, with a loose lead. That was impressive, I think. However we didn't happen to run into any cats! ;)

Bob understands now that there are just some sacrifices we're going to have to make, and being able to leave windows open is one of them. It's inconvenient, but I've made a lot of sacrifices for him, too.

Shotzi - Niki is BEAUTIFUL!