IF enough of us complain......

[gini]

This may not make me popular here on Pet Talk, but I finally feel as though I need to say something.

Why is it necessary for some of you to turn threads into sniping, bickering posts? They start out being fun and then simply fall apart.

This isn't your personal chat room. If you don't like someone, put them on your ignore list. There is the personal message feature - vent there - in private. Who wants to read all of this garbage that you post.

The thread about the new Addition to the family is a case in point.

I don't know about you - but I am tired of wading through a bunch of trashy posts to see if there is something fun to read. I just give up and exit the thread.

There are so many of you out there that need attention and it breaks my heart that you do.

But I have learned that many of you "cry wolf" - so I don't take your attention getting posts too seriously anymore.

God forbid that someone REALLY needs some help and we could give it - but don't because a few have spoiled it for everyone else.

SO - IF ENOUGH OF US COMPLAIN..............

[catland]

I have sent a PM to city hall, agreeing with your position.

[mugsy]

I looked at the thread....I chose to ignore the stupidity and just posted about how much I liked the cone. Perhaps if there were more ignoring and less reaction the stupidity would burn itself out.

[Logan]

Ignoring is the only way that it will happen, Molly, you're right. But the problem is that some people keep on coming back at them and can't just "ignore". Do you know that I finally turned the "ignore this person" feature on today, for the first time. I had never done that before, but probably should have. It's a great tool, only you can see all the posts where people "quote" the one I'm ignoring, so I still have to endure them.

I don't have much tolerance, so it is probably a good thing that I have no managing powers here because I'd be deleting and/or banning every time I saw a troublemaker. It is hard for me to believe that there are so many unhappy people in this world that they would and do cause trouble on a pet site, of all places!!! :confused:

And Gini, I agree. We probably miss some pretty funny and good threads by leaving them when they erupt into arguments, but my patience grows weary, quickly, like yours. Surprised at that comment? Hehehe!!! :D

[Tonya]

I agree. It is frustrating to have to weed through the garbage on the posts. I feel bad when I see people get slaughtered in here. We are all entirely different people from different places on the planet. We are also a huge variety in ages. We have everything from 10 years old to 70 years old here. We are all going to have different ways and beliefs. I don't want to put anyone on ignore because I don't have any problems with anyone in specific. Our love for pets is what brought us all together, and we should keep that in mind.

[anna_66]

Like you Logan, I've thought very hard and I am for the first time using the ignore. I really didn't want to, I just get so tired of all the bs:(

[Randi]

Gini, I too agree with you. It it so time consuming to sift though all of that garbage people could send to each other in a PM. Most of it is fit for a chatroom, not PT! Many threads are going right off track within the first few pages with all this BS!

[Nomilynn]

I TOTALLY agree! I just recently started using the ignore too, something I've never felt I had to do before. It was disheartening, but I too, don't want to have to wade through all the trash.

I also think it's just as annoying when a thread is taken over by a conversation that ISN'T trashy or insulting.. it's just something that should be handled via PM's or an internet chat program. People - if you want to have a private conversation, or one that involves only two of you, PLEASE take it off the public forum! It's just common courtesy!

[Cinder & Smoke]

Originally posted by Logan
Ignoring is the only way that it will happen...

But the problem is that some people
keep on coming back at them and
can't just "ignore"!! :(


As for "City Hall"...

Trust me, the Mayor IS aware of this *problem* :mad: ...

and is just as frustrated :( as most of us are!

But if you've followed along over the years;
whenever "disciplinary actions" HAVE been taken in the past...
There IS /(has) always been a hue & cry raised by *some* that ...
> the Offender was "singled out"...
> "others" do it without punishment...
> it wasn't "that" bad...
> WHY was so-and-so tossed off...
> etc, etc, etc...

It's NOT easy to be "Mom" (or "Dad") to
this huge collection of Very Diverse individuals!
(Just ask da Head Bunnie! :rolleyes: )

[mugsy]

I have used the "Ignore" option quite frequently. :D I just figure if I put them on ignore I can make them go away in my mind. I have been hurt enough on here and been so mad I want to spit nails, so, when it didn't stop, I put them on ignore. Some have been removed and some have stayed on and will remain on forever, but, I am allowed to enjoy myself again.

[Pam]

Thank you for this thread Gini. Count me in as "one of the frustrated." I have used the Ignore feature many times in the past, and it's funny because some of those that I had on "Ignore" have gone. I guess they burned themselves out as I don't believe their purpose for being here was really pets at all. Somehow, though, I always have at least one person on my list, as I do right now.

posted by Mugsy: I just figure if I put them on ignore I can make them go away in my mind.

:D :D

[Kfamr]

I'm not sure if you're talking about me at all (please PM me Gini, and tell me if you are?? :( ) But, I'm not sure ignoring will work. I KNOW Banning will though, which with some, should have been done LONG ago. ;)

[RICHARD]

Being a HUGE fan of corny puns and wordplay I have often wondered about how many people I cheese off by hijacking and
thread and taking it into a totally different direction.

I apologize to you all for that, but I'd like to say that some of the interaction in and direction of threads are really fun to follow....

Yeppers,
I can do without the animosity and snippy remarks, but why let it ruin your fun????

Consider it a pothole and steer around it. Sometimes we hit a vein, nerve or bad day and EVERYTHING is gonna bother us.

There are times I have been in heated discussions with people, but, I think I try to see where people are coming from- when that doesn't work I do not bother with the rolley eyes icon, I do it myself and save the keystroke for a something worth my while.

There are people that I truly like, admire and love to read their posts-especially when i can lure them into thinking, laughing and a really silly state of mind.

The bottom line is respect- I HATE THE TERM "DIS"- You earn a person's respect by 'talking' to them, listening to what they have to say and in the end you can say to each other, "o.k. i see your point-let's agree to disagree.."


The first rules about posting should be-

How stupid and childish will I LOOK if I post this.

If you are looking for trouble and want to 'dis' someone
people will have no problem seeing that....you'll look like a moron and people will lose resepct for you-

what's more important?

getting back at one person? or losing the respect of ALL THE PEOPLE reading your post?

[Edwina's Secretary]

Anybody remember in the movie (or play) Fiddler on the Roof when the people of Anitevya go to the Rabbi and say...."Rabbi, you say there is a blessing for everything. Is there a blessing for the Czar?" And the Rabbi responds...."God bless and keep the Czar...far away from us!"

So, I don't engage with those who enjoy angry, mean exchanges. I use the ignore in my head. I'm sorry though that they mess up some fun threads!

[popcornbird]

Gini, I don't always have enough tolerance to ignore annoying people, but I can tell you that I vow to ignore the person from now on. From now on, let's all pretend annoying people didn't say a word when they say something annoying or disrespectful. If we do it together, I'm sure they'll give up and forget about it.

I know I did answer her back, but I've seen that its not worth it and only makes things worse. No more of that from me. :)

[babolaypo65]

What a great idea. I had forgotten about IGNORE on here. On another board I frequent I have had to use it more mainly because of vulgarity.

As a teacher in a program where students do a lot of group work, teamwork, and the like, I developed what I jokingly refer to as the Zen approach to dialogue and feedback (giving feedback is a required element of our program. Peer to peer feedback). ANYWAY... when I introduce it I always ask students to stop and count to ten before they respond to another student. And during that ten seconds to consider why you are responding:

I ask them to consider, "am I responding:

1. because *I* need to say it? Because it would make ME feel better to say it?

or

2. because the person would benefit from hearing it. It will improve their work, and their interaction with the group. Or it will contribute to the group's sense of community...something like that. "

If the answer is 1. because I need to say it... I ask them to consider it a second time before the make their comment.

I try to use the same approach here... seems to work (most of the time anyway)...
I'll wait a day or so, then put a couple of folks on ignore til my bloodpressure goes down... :(

[lovemyshiba]

I agree with you completely, but something else that bothers me is the profanity. This is a "family" board, and I don't know how many people want to log on and see the nasty names that are being called--that's why I notified Karen about the last thread that got out of hand--every other response was profanity or insults to someone. PM's, AOL, ICQ, telephone--these are all great ways to have a conversation--with one other person--not on a message board that so many people read.

I hope the thread doesn't get deleted, because the pictures are adorable. But I think all of the bickering should stop. I have only started using the ignore feature, but it works wonders.


Maybe it could be made so a post couldn't be posted with only an icon?? At least it would cut down on the rolled eyes posts??!!

[slick]

I do the same as Richard. For the New Addition thread I just kept scrolling down past all the bickering to see if there was anything further to read. And I must admit that I take amusement in following some of twist and turns a thread can take. I shake my head at those people who can take a thread about traffic cones and find something in it that they take personal and then turn it into WWIII.

I used to be like that when I was younger, but then I grew up!!

[Pam]

I was just talking to my daughter about the problem with profanity on the boards. She said she used to belong to a pregnancy board when she was expecting. They had special software on there that converted profanity into simply ****. Cool, huh? I bet those people left when they saw that their hostile words wouldn't show. :p

[Karen]

Complaining should be done privately, not publicly.

Some did. Thank you.

If EVER you have a problem with a user's posts or statements, PM me - that's why we exists as moderators - to moderate!

[mugsy]

Originally posted by Karen
If EVER you have a problem with a user's posts or statements, PM me - that's why we exists as moderators - to moderate!

Aren't you glad for that job? lol ;) As usual, you are the voice of reason!

[Randi]

I feel lucky in a way. :) When I joined PT, I lurked for a few days before I joined and what I saw was appealing. The posts were fun, informative and helpful. The members seemed very friendly and caring towards each other and I didn’t hesitate to start posting myself, to tell about Fister and ask advise.

Unfortunately, some of these members seem to have left. A few that comes to mind are C.C.’s mom, Sirocco, Gio, Purley, Pepper636 – I’m sure there are more.

Seeing threads like the above mentioned when you look for the first time, I wonder how a newcomer would react. He/she may not want to join at all. :(

Let’s try to keep the good spirit here and stop the bickering!

[mugsy]

I have heard from Gio occasionally. She has had a lot of problems with older relatives and her job is nuts. She does miss everyone.

[jonza]

I am not a chat person by nature, and I ignorantly presumed that most of these Internet forums were full of self centered immature people just venting off. I wasn’t particularly thrilled when Randi started spending quite a lot of time on Pet Talk either, but after a while it dawned on my aged brain that here was a relevant, positive site, and I got hooked too. That was over a year and a half ago. A really mature, nice site where people could meet and talk about their common interest, their pets. I started to post fairly regularly.
But, as I mentioned in a post a while back, from my point of view Pet Talk just doesn’t seem to be what it used to be. Perhaps, like any other forum, it’s just reflecting the insecurity and lack of common respect that is becoming more and more widespread nowadays.

Everybody was so proud when the membership started to increase dramatically, but I for one didn’t think it was necessarily a good thing at all, and I’m not trying to be elitist. We really must be careful, and not equate quantity with quality. The larger a “family” becomes, the more different types of person we have to deal with. Just as in the “real world”, this can lead to increased tension and misunderstanding. The world is going “global”, but I sometimes wonder if we really do understand the long term implications of this.

I don’t care one iota how old people are, or their gender or their race or their religion, and have never had any problem communicating with anybody, from Haitian washerwoman to nuclear physicist. I do prefer to have some information though (age especially), as it definitely cuts down on the number of misunderstandings that can arise from simple ignorance of the person you are communicating with.
I find chatting on the Internet a new and slightly unfamiliar form of communication due to the above, and I don’t think we are aware of the ramifications of this new communication form yet. But then again, I can easily understand that I can be regarded as old-fashioned in this respect. That’s fair enough, I’m too old to loose sleep worrying about other peoples view of me, but can still respect their viewpoint.

One thing is certain, we may be sitting in our own private parlour, but we are in a public place when on Pet Talk and we must behave reasonably and politely, just as we would in any other public gathering. One problem is that here we can’t use winks and nudges to “tone down” our views, and they can easily be misinterpreted.

So to all the kids and others wasting our time on personal intrigue etc. - PM or email all your hostility, grudges and bitterness, then all the other Pet Talkers don’t have to get bored and irritated by it. Please stop all this pointless bitching and quarreling and just enjoy the forum.

Let’s all start by trying to show a bit more respect for our fellow Pet Talkers and especially for Karen & Paul, who have invested so much time and energy into it!

john

[dukedogsmom]

I have gone back and read the comments on that entry. I didn't find it particularly funny so when I saw what it was about, I just left. All of us have different ideas of what is funny and what isn't. If you don't like a particular entry, then just leave. That's what I did and it's a lot less stressful, as well.

[IttyBittyKitty]

I find it mildly annoying also ... not enough to bother with the ignore feature as that is extra effort, but enough to skim past the annoying posts! I think that no one should let it ruin their enjoyment of this forum!!

[Cincy'sMom]

Since I joined PT a year and half ago, I have gotten much more selective in the threads I read. Part of this is time, part of it is to aviod the bickering. The threads I read, I often read the orignal post, skim through responses, picking out some to read ignoring others, and looking for updates from the original author. I admit I miss things that way, and I may duplicate a response, but, at the same time, a lot of what I miss is the bickering and nastiness.

I'm going to add to Jonza's statement...
I don’t care one iota how old people are, or their gender or their race or their religion


Not only does this not matter, but I don't care if I agree with your opinion, IF ( and of course there is always an exception), but IF you are able to maturly state your opinion, explain your resoning behind it, and accept the fact that mine is different.

I'm not even sure if that applies to the original point of this thread...what maybe fits better is, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. If you think a thread is pointless, move on! Simple as that.

I have made some good friends on PT and had the pleasure of meeting many, many wonderful members. I hope to meet more.

At the same time, there is too much going on my my life to get involved in all the "attention grabbers" the "drama" and the flat our lies. I'm not saying if you have a bad day, don't share...please do. We all need an outlet.

Does my rambling have a point? Who knows :D

Think before you post, keep the arguements in private and respect each other...Keep Pet Talk friendly :)

[Dogz]

I hope you are not talking about me either.:( I know that I have had a few arguments, and even though I did argue, I still think it is stupid that I did that. I am sorry if I made anyone feel like that, and next time when I am mad, I will wait until I am not mad before I post. *pets doggies and Nelly* Thank you for making this thread gini.

[Twisterdog]

Whew! An argument that I wasn't involved in! ;)

What is the "ignore feature" that you all are talking about? I've never heard of this, is it a real board feature? Or are you just saying to ignore nasty people ... i.e., not read their posts?

[mugsy]

It's a real feature. Go to your profile and you should be able to find it.