An Answering Machine With an Attitude

[RICHARD]

This was the actual answering machine message for the Pacific Palisades
High School in California. The school and it's teachers were being sued
by parents who wanted their children's failing grades changed to
passing grades, even though those children were absent from school 15 - 30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work
to pass their classes. This was voted unanimously by the office
staff as the answering machine message for the school :

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of Pacific
Palisades High School. In order to assist you in connecting to the
right staff member, please listen to all of your options before
making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent -- Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his or her work -- Press 2

To complain about what we do -- Press 3

To swear at staff members --Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your
newsletter and several flyers that were mailed to you --Press 5

If you want us to raise your child -- Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone -- Press 7

To request another teacher for the third time this year -- Press 8

To complain about bus transportation-- Press 9

To complain about school lunches -- Press 0


If you realize this is the real world and your child must be
accountable and responsible for his or her own behavior, class work,
homework, and that it's not the teacher's fault for your child's lack
of effort, just hang up and have a nice day!"

[ramanth]

SWEET!!!

Some people can be so STUPID! :mad:

[tomkatzid]

I love it. With a few word changes it could work at my job too:D

[HayleyRosie]

I love it! My father, who is a school principal, would love it as well.

[ILoveReptiles]

AWESOME! I love it.

Now if only that could be a REAL answering machine message - maybe we wouldn't feel the need to nail these stupid entitlement-minded breeders upside the head with a Clue-By-Four.

;)

[catland]

That's great.

Some parents are so unbelievable. I feel sorry for the kids of these parents because sooner or later they will have to learn the harsh lesson that their actions have consequences.

[Kfamr]

I think it is stupid, especially the first one.

Not everyone lies about being absent.

[GoldenRetrLuver]

Originally posted by Kfamr
I think it is stupid, especially the first one.

Not everyone lies about being absent.

DITTO.

[RICHARD]

no excuse for being absent? then you should have been in class that day.

the message is meant as a tongue-in-cheek response
(take your tongue and place it on/near/in the immediate proximity of your cheek)to the PARENTS
of those kids who are wasting the school district's time by suing on behalf of their lazy children.

The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree....and those are the 'apples' being sent to teachers all across the nation, the rotten to the core kids who
have no parental guidance what-so-ever.....

If your child is a stellar student, with perfect attendance--press 01 or pat yourself on the back for being part of the solution.

If your child is a precocious kid with no sense of humor--press 02 or pray that your kid finds one.

[catland]

Originally posted by popcornbird
What in the world is so great about it? I think its one of the stupidest things I've ever heard of! :rolleyes:

That's ok. In twenty years it will make much more sense.:D

[ILoveReptiles]

Boy I must be aging before my time, because I'm only 29 and I think it's totally accurate and funny as heck.

But then again I've gained some insight on life that most people my age just don't have yet. Call me cynical, but I have a strict policy when it comes to people:

GUILTY until proven INNOCENT.

[Kfamr]

Sorry, But I will not go to school throwing up, with bronchitis, strep throat or any other cold or illness that makes me completely miserable. I would NOT lie about missing school If I did, I wouldn't even bother wasting my school's time, calling or having my parents do so.


If your child is a precocious kid with no sense of humor--press 02 or pray that your kid finds one.

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Kfamr]

Sadly, I think I'm coming down with Bronchitis like I do every year. I always miss atleast a week or two because of it. Some times it even turns into strep throat. The only time I will call is to get the work I will be missing.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Kfamr
Sorry, But I will not go to school throwing up, with bronchitis, strep throat or any other cold or illness that makes me completely miserable. I would NOT lie about missing school If I did, I wouldn't even bother wasting my school's time, calling or having my parents do so.




If you attend a private school you are pretty much assured sainthood for that:eek:

I should think that no one asks you to go to school when you are sick.

Soon enough you'll be out of school and working and YOU WILL GO TO WORK- throwing up, having strep throat, a cold, flu, or any other illness...right now mommy and daddy pay the rent, buy food, and supply you with some of the things you need to go to school.. wait until the bills come with your name on them.

what offends you more, parents lying for their kids or kids lying to their parents so they can stay at home?

[Kater]

I don't think you guys should take this so personally (Kay & PCB)! I guess I don't know about you, but I know plenty of kids who lie or get their parents to lie because they don't want to go to school/didn't finish their homework...whatever. Of course, this doesn't apply to all students! At my private school of overachievers it seemed that kids never faced the consequences of their actions in that when they didn't finish their homework, their conspirator parents would lie for them and allow them to stay home and work on it.

My friends older brother used to be famous for pulling this stunt and after his graduation one of the ladies from the attendance office went up to him and said something along the lines of ... "Well, in college your Mommy can't lie and call in sick for you whenever you don't do your homework!" Haha, OUCH! :eek:

[Kfamr]

Originally posted by RICHARD
If you attend a private school you are pretty much assured sainthood for that:eek:


That's why I will NEVER would NEVER go to a private school.



Soon enough you'll be out of school and working and YOU WILL GO TO WORK- throwing up, having strep throat, a cold, flu, or any other illness...right now mommy and daddy pay the rent, buy food, and supply you with some of the things you need to go to school.. wait until the bills come with your name on them.

I will not go to work throwing up or completely miserable with a bad cold. There would be no point in me going if I'm not able to work because I have a cold. I would call in sick or advise my boss of my sickness once I feel it coming.

Right now, I give "mommy and daddy" every extra that I do not spend on my dogs. Mommy and Daddy supply me with things I need for school, "Mommy and Daddy" also made the choice of having a child, three of them at that. I can't wait until the bills come with my name on them. When that time comes, I'm sure mommy and daddy will supply me with any extra money I need to keep my financial things sturdy, as they have for my brother and sister.



what offends you more, parents lying for their kids or kids lying to their parents so they can stay at home?

That's a hard question. Probably the parents lying, since children learn alot from what their parents do.

[Chinadoll]

I guess it's inconceivable to some that there are actually parents out there that do lie for their children whether it's calling in so they can stay home or calling about an incomplete assignment. To someone whose parents would never find that kind of behavior acceptable I guess I understand why they find no humor in the message and don't understand it.

I thought it was hysterical. I used to work in the attendance office in high school. Those girls with affluent parents had the most absenteeism. Did the hypocritical school care? No, because those parents pumped a lot of $$ into the school.

Did I ever not attend school because I simply didn't feel like it? Yes. I knew exactly how many days I could miss and still graduate. Irresponsible? Maybe. Did I graduate with honors? Yes

I would so love if my Mom could call in to my work and say I'm sick and still get paid for it. Even sick you still find a way to drag yourself work, even if you spend half the day with your head lying on the desk. Amazing what a motivator having the rent due is.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Kfamr
That's why I will NEVER would NEVER go to a private school.



afraid of being a saint??? lol.

i went to a private school and i thank god and my parents that i had the chance to go...

I worked my rear off and a learned to spell, write, add and subtract, i learned to respect people, pull out a chair for a woman, say 'Yes, Sir' and 'Yes, Ma'am'- when i went to public school i was two grades ahead of all my other classmates.

you'd "advise your boss of your sickness"?

ask anyone that works (Chinadoll? a word or two, please???) what a boss will do with your advisement????? he's have your last paycheck ready for you to pick up when you show up to clean out your desk.....

And i am sure that Chinadoll knows about missing work and having to eat Top Ramen-boiled, fried, poached and baked, being thrilled that Jack-in-the-Box sell two tacos for 99 cents, taking PB and J's, the potato chip crumbs at the bottom of the bag for lunch while your co-workers head out to Denny's for a nice sit down feast and looking for loose change in the cushions of your sofa or car so you can fill the tank of your car.

if you don't push yourself now, the world will push you later on!!

[Kfamr]

No, I just simply do not like the rules at private schools.


Yes, I'd advise my boss of my sickness. If he or she would not accept that I am too sick to come in, I will find another job. I am not going to force my body to work while drugged with cough medicine. I can barely move when I get bronchitis it hurts so much.



I'm fine with Ramen noodles, PB J's and so on. I've lived with them my whole life and if that's what it takes to get me by, then that's what I will eat.

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by popcornbird
Personally, I don't know any students that are absent just because they didn't want to go to school.

Pippy, we MUST know the same people!!! I don't know ANY parents that have BRATTY kids, kids that DRINK before they are of age, kids that LIE, ever, kids that aren't ever prepared for SCHOOL (always the teacher's fault)....

[Chinadoll]

Depends on where you work. I have a great boss and nice bunch of co-workers that are great about being flexible with the schedule. I've gone to work sick because I knew there was work to be done sick or not sick.

I've heard horror stories of friends that tried to take off for different things well in advance or were truly sick and being told that if you don't show up you don't have a job. And sometimes you're not in a position to be picky about where you work. That's why parents so stress the importance of school. Heck, even with a college degree it's still hard to get a good job. I lucked into mine...it's not even in the field I got my degree in.

Yes, Richard I can relate to the digging down to the bottom of my purse for change to grab a sandwich because work didn't direct deposit my check until late. It was awful when I had to cut back from working full time so I could go to school full time to finish my degree. Mac & Cheese and PB & J were my friends so I could pay the rent. :p



Originally posted by RICHARD
i went to a private school and i thank god and my parents that i had the chance to go...

I worked my rear off and a learned to spell, write, add and subtract, i learned to respect people, pull out a chair for a woman, say 'Yes, Sir' and 'Yes, Ma'am'- when i went to public school i was two grades ahead of all my other classmates.

you'd "advise your boss of your sickness"?

ask anyone that works (Chinadoll? a word or two, please???) what a boss will do with your advisement????? he's have your last paycheck ready for you to pick up when you show up to clean out your desk.....

And i am sure that Chinadoll knows about missing work and having to eat Top Ramen-boiled, fried, poached and baked, being thrilled that Jack-in-the-Box sell two tacos for 99 cents, taking PB and J's, the potato chip crumbs at the bottom of the bag for lunch while your co-workers head out to Denny's for a nice sit down feast and looking for loose change in the cushions of your sofa or car so you can fill the tank of your car.

if you don't push yourself now, the world will push you later on!!

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Kfamr
No, I just simply do not like the rules at private schools.



cool, you'll find the rules of LIFE (the real thing, not the Milton Bradley offering) abso-fricking-lutley outrageous. Get a good chiropractor because LIFE will have your head spinning so fast you'll pray to be back in school.

the next time you go look for a job check out the application and look for the section that says,
"reason for leaving" (your last job)..

THAT'S THE AREA where you shouldn't lie-
just put down, "I advised my boss I was ill and he fired me"- Repeat as needed.

the person that sees that may-

figure that you are a sickly person and not hire you because the company is looking for a dependable person.

may not even want to do an interview with you, why waste my time on someone who will call in sick at the mere hint of an illness?

Rules.....you don't like rules???

good luck kiddo,

i'm going to try that next time someone tries to jerk me around, i'm gonna say- I DON'T LIKE YOUR RULES- that will teach them!

[Chinadoll]

Originally posted by RICHARD

...having to eat Top Ramen-boiled, fried, poached and baked, <snip>

lol Are you speaking from experience? :D

[Kfamr]

LOl, Whatever Richard. You live your life, I'll live mine. Thanks. :rolleyes: :D

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Chinadoll


Yes, Richard I can relate to the digging down to the bottom of my purse for change to grab a sandwich because work didn't direct deposit my check until late. It was awful when I had to cut back from working full time so I could go to school full time to finish my degree. Mac & Cheese and PB & J were my friends so I could pay the rent. :p

Sorry about making you look in the cushions for change....i don't carry a purse so i wouldn't find anything there;)

You are a far braver person than I, the mere thought of eating M&C makes me ill, so ill I may have to miss work.....lol

Yes, it makes a huge difference where you work,
I too, work for a great company....i have sick leave, vacation and my health insurance taken care of for the rest of my life! As a matter of fact i
called in sick a few weeks ago and didn't have to bring in a note from the doctor because i hardly ever take a sick day...

but hey, what do i know?

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Kfamr
LOl, Whatever Richard. You live your life, I'll live mine. Thanks. :rolleyes: :D

and never the twain shall meet!!:)
-----------------

China,

Top Ramen??
what can I say??? I know every flavor, every way to cook it and where you can pick up 10 packages for one dollar.

there is the cold ramen noodle salad
the warm noodle salad
the spicy tuna ramen soup.
the top ramen sandwich (go figure!)
the noodle-less ramen soup
the Hobo-style ramen soup
the left over chicken ramen soup.
baked ramen-lasagna
there is the Ramen chocolate shake (just kidding!)
left over beef ramen soup
ramen vegetable soup- my favorite....


recipe-
one package of Top Ramen 10 cents
one can of Veg-All 60 cents
one loaf of day old bread 75 cents

prepare Ramen, empty veggies into soup.
season with packets of salt and pepper from
KFC. Heat until boiling

Toast bread (if you can afford a toaster!)trim crusts from bread, set aside.
butter with the pats of margarine left over from your breakfast at McDonald's.

To Serve-
Put soup into bowl and garnish with trimmed crusts
cut into Crouton sized pieces

Cut bread diagonally and arrange on your Taco Bell napkins.

Serve with Lime Kool Aid, if desired.

Prep time- 10 minutes

Serves- Two grateful people.


(the only real problem with this meal is opening up all the sugar packets so you can get one cup of the stuff for the Kool Aid eek:))


lol, it reminds me of the old joke about growing up 'poor'...


When we grew up, we grew up PO........

we couldn't afford the 'OR'....

[Chinadoll]

LOL!! When I moved, I found about 5 packages of Top Ramen in the back cabinet. ahhh, the memories ;) :p

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Chinadoll
LOL!! When I moved, I found about 5 packages of Top Ramen in the back cabinet. ahhh, the memories ;) :p

and what about the drawer with all the chopsticks,
plastic forks, spoons, and knifes, Wet Nap packets, salt, sugar, sweet and low, soy sauce and ketchup below the counter?

lololololol

[delidog]

Love It!!!!

I could change the words a little, and set it to Retail!!!;) :) :D

[PapillonCrazie!]

In the "Real World," Richard......you respect kids. Even if they do not agree with you.

[Chinadoll]

Originally posted by RICHARD
and what about the drawer with all the chopsticks,
plastic forks, spoons, and knifes, Wet Nap packets, salt, sugar, sweet and low, soy sauce and ketchup below the counter?

lololololol

How did you know?! lol :D

[I Love Brian, Forever <3]

I found it hilarious. :) :D

[Corinna]

Loved the message, and anyone need the recipe for potato tacos? A 50lb bag only cost $5 afew years ago and taco mix 5 for a dollar. Aww the memories

[LoudLou]

I found it funny.
I have to admit my parents were like that... they lied for me all the time until High School, then I wrote my own excuses... and wow! Did I excel at Creative Writing!!! ;)


Amazing how parents/gaurdians are "Dumb" when you are 15 but "Geniuses" when you are 30!

[krazyaboutkatz]

I also found it quite funny. :) Luckily I was a very good student all through high school. I never skipped school. In college, however, I did skip my share of classes and paid the price for it with poor grades. Now I live in the real world, the working world, and luckily I have a very understanding and generous boss.

When my Pepper passed away and I called in to tell him that I wouldn't be in to work, he understood. Since I've been working with him for so long I also get 3 weeks of vacation each year and I can use my sick time towards vacation time too. :) In fact since we're so slow at work right now, I've been using some of my sick time and staying at home while getting paid. :)

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by PapillonCrazie!
In the "Real World," Richard......you respect kids. Even if they do not agree with you.


i have seen the "real world" on MTV...
those kids DO NOT RESPECT each other......does that mean I have to????:eek:


come on Corrina,
sounds like a winner for the next office pot luck.......

taco potatos!!!

i like it!

CD,
but did you carefully pack all those packet and take them with you???;)


Lou,

those geniuses become your idols as you get older!
(10 points for being honest....)


KAK,

thanks, i'll think about you on vacation as I fight my way to work on the freeways!:eek:

[CathyBogart]

LOL! Oh, it's GREAT! I'm only 19 and I find it HILARIOUS! We need a laughing smiley! *GRIN*

My sister has on our answering machine a message something like this:

"Hello?.....Oh HI!! How are you? Uh huh....Why are you calling? Oh, well if I'd really wanted to talk to you I would have picked up the phone!" *BEEP*

*chuckles*

I'm printing it out and bringing it to school with me when school starts up!