Ally Cat's Mommy
07-21-2003, 02:04 AM
One of my work-mates sent me this. As the mother of both a 14 year-old Son and a 2 year-old cat, I can relate!!!
For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, you
may want to know why they really have a lot in common with
cats:
1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call
them by name.
2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed,
all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the
privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an
adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager
in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or
her parents.
4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat
nor your teen will ever crack a smile.
5. No cat or teenager shares you taste in music.
6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours
on end without moving, barely breathing.
7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner,
communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of
complete and utter boredom.
9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been
known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead
animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of
behavior.
Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice
are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good
idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And
remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any
sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds,
they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort,
and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.
For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, you
may want to know why they really have a lot in common with
cats:
1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call
them by name.
2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed,
all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the
privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an
adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager
in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or
her parents.
4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat
nor your teen will ever crack a smile.
5. No cat or teenager shares you taste in music.
6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours
on end without moving, barely breathing.
7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner,
communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of
complete and utter boredom.
9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been
known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead
animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of
behavior.
Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice
are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good
idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And
remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any
sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds,
they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort,
and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.