Daisy the NON-Service Dog!

[Daisy's Mom]

Okay as I posted under Pet Poll, "Do you take your pets on vacation with you," I mentioned that my family is unable to take Daisy to my grandparents' beach house because my grandfather is anti-dog. However, Dad and I conjured a plan to make Daisy into a "service dog", helping him out in some way. That way she'd have to be allowed up to NH with us! My father has Lou Gherig's disease and is in a wheelchair. He can't speak anymore either so we can't use commands. What I think would be easiest would be teaching her how to pick stuff up for Dad when he drops it. But she won't pick anything up! I don't know how to teach her it either. If anyone has any advice on something else I could teach her or how to teach her to pick stuff up, I am desperate! We leave June 23... I have arrangements for Daisy to stay with a dear friend, but 2 weeks without her just doesn't sound like a very fun vacation to me http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif

[Karen]

What does Daisy LIKE to do in general? And no, sleeping is not usually regarded as being of service.

[Logan]

Bridget...have your dad drop some trash. Daisy loves trash, doesn't she???? I think you need to snuggle up to Grandpa, frankly. How could he resist you? Maybe you could cry a little bit??? LOL!! I surely wish you could work it out. We beg my dad constantly to buy a beach house that would welcome our dogs since we rent and they aren't allowed http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif . His answer to that request is that if we would all "help" him buy it, we could make it a family beach house!!

I leave for vacation the same day you do, and I absolutely hate to leave all my furry kids as well. But, that's not a good enough excuse to skip a whole week's vacation at the beach! Helen and I are especially excited this year as we will get to meet one of our new internet friends, who has 2 Goldens also. And we're going to volunteer at her shelter for a day while we're there.

Good luck, and let us know what happens.
Logan http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

[aly]

Can you teach her hand signals for things that your dad can use instead of commands?

Hmm, just put a harness on her and tell everyone she's doing her job even though she might not be doing much, hehe.

[RachelJ]

Just tell your gramps the truth. Your dad needs Daisy for emotional support. He has this very devastating illness that can make a person living with it very depressed at times. Interaction with Daisy can bring him out of that depression. He needs her there just as he would need his medication to take as needed. Tell your gramps that this isn't something that you all like to talk about alot, but out of consideration for your dad and all that he is going through, you know that he wouldn't want to deny your dad the little relief that is available to him during these times. Also ask your gramps what are his specific concerns about having a dog there. Then depending on what they are, explain how you will be attuned to doing everything possible so that those concerns don't impact on him and explain how his concerns are either unfounded or can be alleviated with your attention.



[This message has been edited by RachelJ (edited June 14, 2001).]

[Karen]

And there was the woman whose pet pig got to fly with her for emotional comfort, so you have national precedent for such "service."

[Freckles]

Bridget, is he your maternal grandfather?

[ilovehounds]

I have taught Hannah some things you could teach Daisy.

I have taught her hand signals, just repeat the word you want her to learn over and over using the hand signal at the same time then after so many times she will learn the signal. Hannah knows sit, stay, come, laydown, open, and shut. I have also tied rags around the door handles of some doors, and the fridge door and have taught her to open them well she basiclly taught herself I just put a toy our a snack on the other side of the door and put the rag in her mouth and gently pulled her back, I did this a couple times and then left her to do it herself, it took her a couple of minutes to get it. I then taught her to put stuff away like her toys and things, and the last and hardest was getting mail from the mail box and putting mail into the mail box.

The getting her to pick up garbage is a great idea, just always use the command pick up or bring it here as she is getting it and then move on to a toy then a brush or things your dad uses. If you work with her for about 15-20 minutes a night she should know some commands and be able to pick things up, just don't push her and don't work for more then 20 minutes at a time or she will get bored and not want to do anything then you will get mad and that will set her back. A hound dog should do just about anything for a treat http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif I know mine do

My father was going in for a back operation that had a good chance of leaving him paralized (spelling???) so I thought if Hannah knew these things then if there was a time when we needed to leave him for a little while Hannah could help him out. But thank fully the operation went well and he is fine and back to work, these things are still good for Hannah to know because this was his secind operation and may not be his last.

If you need more help. I will find the website I found these teachings on and pass it on.

Good luck, if this doesn't work I know my papa can never say no to tears http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

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~~ My House Is Not A Home Without A Hound ~~

[This message has been edited by ilovehounds (edited June 14, 2001).]

[Rottie]

Originally posted by Karen:
What does Daisy LIKE to do in general? And no, sleeping is not usually regarded as being of service.

I disagree, she could be a lap warmer, right? Or maybe she's too big. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif

I've taught Carl to pick things up on command, (part of the obedience retrieve), but that was very complicated and it took 4 months of hard work. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif Sorry to sound discouraging. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif You'll think of something! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif


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-Rottie
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[Daisy's Mom]

Thanks for your help everyone! Ok to answer everyone's questions...

Karen, Daisy likes to sleep and eat but I doubt those count... she likes to walk, howl, and play chase... I can't see how that will help though.

Freckles, yes he is my maternal grandfather. But... you all don't know him... crying won't help. I honestly can say that I can't stand him. I am respectful to him but he shows me none back. He doesn't really care what I say and talking about it sends him into a rage!

Rachel your idea is a good one, I think I may try writing a letter... wish me luck!

And in the meanwhile I will be trying your ideas, Aly. I hope they work on my lazy Daisy!

Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate this!

[RachelJ]

Bridget, Writing a letter is an excellent idea. You are so articulate and it will give you an opportunity to say exactly what you want to say without getting angry by any feedback he may give, as might happen if you talk to him on the phone. This is a good thing to do, even if it doesn't accomplish your purpose. It is good because it is a wonderful thing for you to do for your dad. It is good because it will help you become a little more experienced in the strategy of dealing with difficult people, something dear sweet person that you will find you will have to do frequently in life. It is good because it is giving your grandfather an opportunity to reflect upon his own decisions and how they affect other people and provide him with a chance to do something puts someone else's needs ahead of his own. Whether or not he takes advantage of this opportunity is not my point, but that in this moment in time, for the specific people involved, he had a chance.

Yes, Bridget, good luck.

[This message has been edited by RachelJ (edited June 15, 2001).]

[jackiesdaisy1935]

Bridget, I completely agree with Rachel, I think the letter might give him pause to reflect the unhappiness he is creating for you and your Dad.

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[Iditarodfan]

RACHEL ONCE AGAIN U COME THROUGH WITH SOUND, WISE ADVISE FOR DAISY'S MOM. I AGREE IF YOU CAN GET GRANDPA TO UNDERSTAND THE BENEFITS OF A WARM, FUZZY, HUG, MAYBE, JUST MAYBE HE'LL ALLOW YOU TO BRING HER. GOOD LUCK, PRAYERS, AND WHATEVER ELSE IS NEEDED. POOR GRANDPA, GETTING OLD OR SICK TAKES GREAT STRENGTH IN LEARNING HOW TO LET GO. MAYBE DAISY CAN TEACH GRANDPA. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/biggrin.gif SHALOM

[Daisy's Mom]

Okay I am starting the letter right now! I'm nervous! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

Thanks for all your advice Rachel! He really is quite hard to understand. He says he loves Daisy; he is just incredibly strict and doesn't have much of a sense of humor. We don't get along very well no matter how hard I try. I hope this letter doesn't get him mad! But Dad really does need Daisy with her. Rachel you are exactly right; she is just another medicine that he NEEDS. And I need my daily dose of hound dog too! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

If anyone has any information about the affects of animals on the terminally ill, please tell me so I can add it in my letter! If it turns out good I will post it before I send it so I can get some feedback! Hehe this is so great, it's like 50 people on my side against Grandpa http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif I think it would do him good to spend 2 weeks with a little mellow love bug!

Well I am going to go ask Jeeves for some information http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/wink.gif Hehe wish me luck! I'll keep ya posted!

Once again - thank you very very much for your great ideas and concerns. You guys really are like another big family to me http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

[jackiesdaisy1935]

Bridget, the page I found about what therapy dogs do for the terminally ill is at http://www.tdi-dog.org
maybe you can find some information on this page to help you write that letter. Look under what tdi dogs do.
Hope so
Jackie

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[This message has been edited by jackiesdaisy1935 (edited June 15, 2001).]

[Daisy's Mom]

Thanks for the site Jackie!!!

Okay, I wrote the letter... the whole time I was typing it I just felt so discouraged and frustrated because I really don't think it's going to work... but hey it's worth a try right? If she can't come with us for two weeks I will be a sobbing mess leaving her! Well here's my letter... any advice/criticism will be very much appreciated! And just in case you think it's weird that I call him by his first name, that's what I was told to call him. Told you he's weird http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

Dear Arthur,
Hello! It’s Bridget. I have a very important question to ask you. It’s actually more of a favor that, if granted, would be greatly appreciated by my entire family. I’m sure you can guess it by now: yes, we would like to bring Daisy with us to the beach house. I know, I know! No dogs allowed, right? Well that’s why I am writing you this letter. I hope you will read it and not get angry with me, as I am only trying to show you our point of view.
I bet you think she would make messes, peeing or pooping everywhere, right? Well Daisy is 2 years old. She never has any accidents anymore inside, so you wouldn’t have to worry about that. She would always go outside and as soon as she goes, I would scoop it right up and dispose of it. You would hardly know there was a dog living downstairs!
Daisy is also a very quiet dog. She won’t bark or howl and keep you up at night. She’s actually kind of like you in a way: she loves her naps and sleep is very important! You guys could nap together on the porch! Come on, you know you love her http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif And guess what I learned: petting a dog can actually lower a person’s blood pressure! Oh, and listen to this: if any little kid drops any food on the floor (I know you hate when that happens), Daisy will be right there within seconds and the floor will be cleaned. She is like a vacuum, only cuter!
You may think my family consists of five. Well it doesn’t. You forgot one. There are six in my family. Mom, Dad, me, Mackenzie, Rachael, and Daisy. Yes, Daisy is a large part of our lives, and an important and beloved member of our family. I don’t want to go on a vacation without one of our family members! I think of her as my baby. It would be hard to leave baby for two weeks, don’t you think?
If I haven’t changed your mind yet because you don’t want to do this for me, would you please do it for my dad? I know you love and care about him. My family does too. You don’t understand how important Daisy is to him, Arthur. She isn’t just a dog to him. Actually, she isnt even just another family member. She is like a medicine to him. He needs her every day, just like he needs all his pills. A daily dose of Daisy is just as helpful as the medicine we give Dad every morning and night through his feeding tube.
It’s been scientifically proven in many studies that dogs can benefit your health! I already told you about the blood pressure being loweed by stroking a dog, but did you know that petting a dog is a great muscle workout for arms, hands, and wrists? Dad needs to work his muscles so that if... I mean when he gets cured, he doesn’t have any atrophy. Dogs have also been known to ease stress and help pull people put of depressions. For someone with an illness like Dad’s, depression is almost guaranteed. But somehow Dad does great. People wonder what Dad’s secret is for keeping so upbeat. Well I beleive it’s a combination of good family and friends, an incredibly strong spirit, and Daisy. Have you ever watched his face when he sees her? His eyes light up, just like a child’s on Christmas morning! His whole face starts to glow with happiness as she sits patiently next to his wheelchair, and he flops an arm down the pat her head. They sit like that for hours.
Daisy knows that she has to be more gentle with Dad than she does with the rest of us. We tried an experiment the other day. I took a treat and held it up in the air. She jumped uo against me to grab it. Then we gave Dad a treat. We put it on his lap and watched Daisy’s reaction. She just reached up slowly and daintily plucked it from him, briong very careful and gentle. She just knows, and we never had to explain anything to her.
Seabrook is one of my favorite places in the whole world and I fully realize that I am extremely lucky to have great grandparents like you and Gram who let me and my family stay with you there in the summer. How many other kids get to go to the beach every summer and stay with wonderful family? Not too many! That’s why I really hope this letter doesn’t get you mad. Don’t get me wrong; we want to come to the beach! But we want to go as a family, a family of six.
I sincerely promise you that if you let Daisy come to the beach house, she will not bother you once. As I said before, you will hardly know there is a dog in the house. I will keep her quiet and clean up after her. I really think this could be a positive experience for everyone. I could have my beloved pup with me on vacation, Dad could have his “medicine” with him, and you know what? Maybe you could learn some things from her. I have learned a lot from my dog. I think people could take quite a few pages out of dogs’ books. If we were all as caring, loyal, fun-loving, sweet, compassionate, and as full of undying love for theit families as dogs are, I think the world would be a much better place.
Please think about this long and hard. I don’t even think you know how much your areeing to this would be appreciated by my family. We love Daisy so much, and she helps Dad deal with life. Please don’t get mad at me. Just understand I want what is best for Dad, above all. His life obviously isn’t the easiest; not many things can make him as happy as Daisy does. Why should we deny him of this happiness for two weeks? We love you and know you will do what you think is best. Thanks for listening, and please consider allowing Daisy to come to the beach house.

Love,
Bridget

[aly]

Bridget, that's a great letter your wrote. It sounds very well thought out and sophisticated. I know if I was your grandfather I would say yes in a second after reading that. We'll be keeping our paws crossed over here that Daisy gets to go to the beach http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

[Sudilar]

Wonderful letter! Good luck!

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[Freckles]

Bridget, you have a lot of wonderful, positive points in the letter, but is there some way to eliminate or rephrase the parts about not making him mad, or angry? Those would only be red flags. For example:
"I hope you read it carefully as I am only trying to show you our point of view." Also, you can delete "you forgot one" because it's redundant. I think you really need to get to the point quick with this guy.

Good luck!

[jackiesdaisy1935]

Bridget, I can only say you can come to my house anytime with Daisy, if that doesn't move Arthur to let you bring Daisy, I don't know what will. This is a letter from the heart and hopefully he will see that. I'm wishing you the best of luck.
Jackie

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[RachelJ]

Excellent, excellent, excellent....you've covered all the bases. I told you that you were articulate! I'm so proud of you. Wish you were my granddaughter! The letter could go as is, but there is only one sentence you might want to take a look at.

"If I haven’t changed your mind yet because you don’t want to do this for me, would you please do it for my dad? "

I think instead I would say something like:

"There is even a more important reason, however that I am making this request. It's my dad."

I also agree with the suggestion Freckles had. These are all minor points; however, and no two people are ever going to say the same thing the same way. You have done it Bridget! Whether you win him over or not, you have made the effort to do a good thing. Yes you are taking a risk, a risk of more rejection, doing a good thing is not often easy, but it is something you can feel proud of.

[Daisy's Mom]

Thanks for your advice everyone! I changed everything you all told me to. I'm going to give the letter to him the next time I see him (and since he lives in this field, I'm sure that will be soon). Keep your paws and fingers crossed, and thanks again for your help! As always, I'll keep you updated.

[Pam]

Bridget your letter is wonderful. I really am impressed with the way you wrote this letter. I sincerely hope that it works and the six of you can vacation together this year. Daisy sounds absolutely wonderful. I love the line about her being so gentle with your dad. Dogs just know! We have fingers and paws crossed here too. I hope some day I have a granddaughter as thoughtful as you are. Your dad is a lucky man! Hope his Father's Day is just wonderful! Tell him your friends at Pet Talk wish him a great day!

[Daisy's Mom]

Oh thank you for all your compliments! You guys are so sweet!

[RachelJ]

Originally posted by Pam:
Your dad is a lucky man! Hope his Father's Day is just wonderful! Tell him your friends at Pet Talk wish him a great day!

You are so right, Pam, and that goes for me as well.

[Stenograsaurus]

Oh, Bridget, if your letter doesn't change his mind, nothing will. It brought tears to my eyes. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!

[Daisy's Mom]

Okay I have bad news. I was going to give him the letter today but I told my mother what I was going to do... big mistake. She begged me not to and said it would only make matters worse because nothing will ever chaneg his mind. He's old and stubborn (and quite horrible if you ask my opinion), and giving him that letter would only make matters worse, according to my mother. So I was forced not to give it to him. I thought it was at least worth a try but I guess she is right... he flips out over everything and takes it out on my grandmother, who is the sweetest woman alive. I don't want her getting in trouble... but I don't want to be 4 weeks without my baby this summer (we are going up there 2 weeks starting Saturday and another 2 weeks in August). This is so hard! I spent a half hour crying over it today, hugging Daisy and apologizing to her. I caught Dad with tears in his eyes as he pet her today too. This whole situation just shouldn't even be going on; it just seems wrong to deny him of what he wants. Maybe it's just me...

Anyway, on a lighter note, thank you for your happy Father's Day wishes http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif My father was very happy when I told him all my "Pet Talk Friends" said hi. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif He has heard so much about you all! Hehe.

So thank you for all your advice on my letter but I'm afraid all my work was in vain. http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/frown.gif

[aly]

Bridget, I know you will be so upset without your baby girl but at least she will be staying with a friend. I'm sure Daisy will do just fine and be well taken care of. I cry all the time if I have to take a trip without my animals (which isn't too often) so I know how you feel. The only thing you can do now is make the best of the situation and try to have a good time. I'm so sorry it didn't work out.

[Sudilar]

So sorry Bridget!

[Logan]

Bridget,
I have read the whole message thread tonight. I am so sorry for your disappointment. But you know what, Daisy will be fine, and she will be SO happy to see you. I left Honey and Lilly, plus Butter and Mimi, for four days....a long time for me, over the weekend. And they couldn't have been happier to see me.

The best part was that the petsitter called me on my cell phone the first night to let me know that everyone was ok. And when Helen and I got home tonight, around 10 pm, they were indoors, and overjoyed to see us! In fact, Kim, the petsitter, left me a diary of every visit. So I knew exactly what happened with all 6 (including the hamsters) at every visit. It was wonderful and I wish I could give you a complete update of the diary.

I leave next Saturday for a week away. And the best thing that will happen is that when I arrive at home, all my babies will be right here waiting for me. If I had to board Honey and Lilly, I would have to wait a whole extra day to pick them up!! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/eek.gif And that just won't do! They did beautifully with Kim, and I feel much more comfortable leaving them now, although it is never easy.

I think when you head to the beach for this trip, you will just have to pay extra attention to your dad, yourself. And know that Daisy will be ok while you are gone. Maybe you could get your grandfather to yourself while you're there, tell him about the letter you wrote, and lobby to have Daisy come in August. By the way, your letter was absolutely beautiful, straight from your heart, as I knew it would be.

I hope you will have a wonderful trip, in spite of the fact that Daisy can't come. Just know that a lot of us vacation in places that our dogs aren't welcome. And we just have to make the most of it. They still love us when we get home!!! http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/smile.gif

Logan

[Gio]

Bridget, I am so sorry for you.

It's so sad that some people don't understand that pets can be beneficial to someone who is ill. Both my parents have been seriously ill and both have no trouble admitting that what pulled them through was the pets.

I am sure Daisy will be well looked after.

You and your Dad take care and try to make the best out of your holiday anyhow.

[Freckles]

Bridget, did your mother at least read the letter before saying no?

I'm also curious if your mom read the letter. I always think writing a letter is a good idea. Growing up in our family, if we ever had a problem with each other, we'd write a letter. Sorry to hear you can't bring your dog but at least she'll be in good hands.

[jackiesdaisy1935]

Bridget, I am so sorry it didn't work out for you but as the others said at least Daisy will be with friends and not in a kennel and will have personal attention and there will a be a big reunion when you get back. Just treasure the days you have with your Dad at the beach and before you know it you will be home with your sweet Daisy.

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[Daisy's Mom]

Thanks for all your kind words! No, Mom didn't read the letter, but she's still right; he'd have gotten mad.

Yes, Daisy will be in wonderful hands and I know she will have a great time. The family she is going to is dogless and they absolutely love her. It's my best guy friend and she adores him. So I am not worried about her having a good time; I know she will. I am sure Dad and I will too... but we will miss her anyway.