Wise Words To Live By...

[ChloeLove]

I was reading a book (Chicken Soup series...) and I found this in here and I thought that it was cute and just wanted to share. :p The person who wrote this has been adding things to her list for a very long time, and decided to send it in. She also got help from a lot of her friends with this list.

What I Wish I'd Known Sooner by Meredith Rowe

-Don't drink grape juice while wearing a white shirt and driving to school!

-Dropping a cellular phone into a bathtub kinda kills it...

-Your mother WILL find out if you dye your hair purple!

-You haven't lived until you've gotten a 48 on an Advanced Placement U.S. history calss

-Don't fall in love with someone who is more than one thousand miles away from you. It usually doesn't work out.

-Milk crates make boring pets.

-If it hurts...DON'T DO IT AGAIN!!!!

-Don't sprint around a pool if you're trying to impersonate Jim from Huck Finn.

-Zits always pop up when you seriously can't afford for them to pop up.

-Always stay after class. That's when connections are made.

-When in doubt, duck. When certain, don't bother 'cuz you're already screwed.

-While driving your car through a gate, always ALWAYS make sure the gate is open!

-Never pierce your bellybutton in the dark.

-Just because someone flirts with you incessantly does not mean he or she likes you.

-If your calculus teacher tells you to quit talking after a test or he'll give you a zero for your test grade, he means it. Really.

-If you like a girl her roomate will immediately start liking you.

-Don't take the SAT twice if you already have a good score in the first place.

-Learn to play the electrical guitar. Young women really dig it.

-Don't juggle knives unless you're really, really good at it.

-If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then give up. No sense in being ridiculous about it.

-Sticking things up your nose isn't the smartest idea in the world.

-You can't light fireworks in the basement and not get caught!

-Hair is flammable. VERY flammable.

-Dyeing hair strawberry blonde when it already IS strawberry blonde turns it strawberry pink.

-White dogs and black pants don't mix.



That's it. :) If you wanna add something to the list...Do so!! :D

[slick]

Ok here's my addition (and things that I've learned):

- don't fry bacon naked
- don't wear bike shorts if you're in the doghouse
- if you see your Ex, run as fast as you can. Nothing good can come out of it.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by slick
Ok here's my addition (and things that I've learned):

- if you see your Ex, run as fast as you can. Nothing good came come out it.

If you see FEDEX hang around.....it may be for you!

[slick]

Nothing good came come out it.


Ouch....where did I learn to write......

[lovemyshiba]

lolololol!!!!!

Slick, your additions cracked me up:D

[Cataholic]

Slick,
Your mistake was nearly hysterical...he he he...

[slick]

Another lesson I've learned recently:

- when riding your bike for the first time in 6 years, make it a short ride.

Ouch, can you say "chafe"????

and

- before starting any strenuous exercise, go to the bathroom.

[Airedalekisses]

never wear patterned undies under white pants.

Doors: what dogs are always on the wrong side of.

[Twisterdog]

Never pass up an opportunity to pee on a road trip ... even if you think you don't have to go. Thirty miles down the road, you will.

Don't put eggs in a pan to boil and forget about them. They explode when all the water boils away, and it's really hard to clean hard boiled eggs off the ceiling. (True story.)

Don't put beans in a pan to cook and forget about them. They will boil dry, and catch on fire. (Another true story. See why we eat a lot of delivery pizza?!)

[cloverfdx]

lmao too funny.


-Dropping a cellular phone into a bathtub kinda kills it...
lol, yes i found out the hard way. but mine eventually dried out and is now working again ~cheers~


-Don't fall in love with someone who is more than one thousand miles away from you. It usually doesn't work out.
mine: Dont fall in love at all ~nods n sighs~

pay attention when large/giant sized dogs are playing, jarred knee's are NOT funny (not so funny story) lol

[Airedalekisses]

Dog slobber does not make a good hair gel.

Never feed an Airedale corned beef! (Wind for days!!)

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Originally posted by Airedalekisses
Never feed an Airedale corned beef! (Wind for days!!)


AHHHH LOL

[apcrs5122]

LOL too funny!!!!!!!!!:D :D I'll have to try to think of some:)

[iceyshiver21]

-Never attempt to walk down a non grass covered hill after it rains...LAND SLIDE!!!

-Never leave oatmeal in your room for long periods of time.

-Burnt hair stinks...watch where you lean.

-Never stept foot in the Dog House unless you are pepared to clean your shorts afterwards.

-Bomb Shelters are deep.

-The kiddy pool is never as deep as it may look.

-An Aloe Plant looks cool...but is raunchy when it dies.

[slick]

- When washing dogs, take plenty of dry clothing.
- When washing dogs "back there", be gentle.
- Burnt toast creates backwash.

[kitten645]

-Don't fall in love with someone who is more than one thousand miles away from you. It usually doesn't work out.


Oh man where was this two years ago?:( EVERYONE should know this...

[Chinadoll]

Before leaving the house, always check your clothes. Even if you are wearing a dark colored material, your black thong will show through if the material is thin enough.

Same goes for light colored material. If it's thin enough..(darn silk skirts), it will become see through when standing in direct sunlight.

Always use a pot holder when pulling something out of the oven.

Accept the fact that if your cat is ill or even has a hairball, it will be thrown up on the carpet, even if the tile floor was one paw away.

If your pet is extra wiggly during nail clipping, try letting them down to go potty....before you get pottied on.

Moving: Just because it can all fit into the box, doesn't neccasarrily mean it should. Heavy items will cause the bottom of the box to break.

If you haven't used it it 6 months, pitch it.

Cutting your bangs because you find instructions in a magazine for a new stylish way to do it is NEVER a good idea.

Sometimes babies just cry. They can be fed, changed etc.. and still cry. All you can do is accept it and hold them until they're done.

Learn to say No.

Always turn on the fan over the stove when searing or frying anything. Anything that causes a lot of smoke will set off the smoke alarm that is located over the fridge right next to the stove if the fan is not on.

Wax paper and toaster ovens do not mix.

Stop arguing with your mother. It would take a miracle to change her mind once it's set on an issue. Arguing is futile. Just accept her opinion and agree to disagree. (This is a work in progress for me. We're two stubborn people and it's so hard to resist the urge to prove her wrong)

I'll try to think of more of life's warped little lessons by Tiff.
:p

[iceyshiver21]

7 year old boy. Batman outfit, towel Cape, Dog leashed and ceiling fan.

[Chinadoll]

Originally posted by iceyshiver21
7 year old boy. Batman outfit, towel Cape, Dog leashed and ceiling fan.

LMAO!!! The image that invokes is just too funny. I think I remember a similar story...the fan broke.

Good way to splatter paint a room...coat the fan blades with a lot of paint and turn on high.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Chinadoll

Stop arguing with your mother. It would take a miracle to change her mind once it's set on an issue. Arguing is futile. Just accept her opinion and agree to disagree. (This is a work in progress for me. We're two stubborn people and it's so hard to resist the urge to prove her wrong)





here's a twist on that piece of advice.

see her point of view, amazing how things look from the other side of the arguement.

don't be afraid to knuckle under. losing an arguement isn't the end of the world. sometimes sticking to your guns just shows how stubborn and unwilling to 'see the other side' a person can be.

DO NOT BE afraid to come back to mom and tell her she was right.
better yet, don't talk to her about it, mope and just be a silly snot about the whole thing. I GUARANTEE there will be a day when mom is not around to argue with. you'll sit by the phone crying and carrying on-and thinking about all the times you wanted to be right so badly- and thinking about how it would be nice to share it with her.

the fastest way to disarm a person is to say,
Hey, maybe you are right!
I'm wrong.
I'm sorry.

age and experience will always overwhelm
youth and exuberance.

arguing takes two people......one, when you refuse to participate...
it become a conversation again....

[slick]

Originally posted by RICHARD
Hey, maybe you are right!
I'm wrong.
I'm sorry.
Well, this is truly a Oscar moment! I've never heard it from man until now......

[Chinadoll]

Originally posted by RICHARD
here's a twist on that piece of advice.

see her point of view, amazing how things look from the other side of the arguement.

don't be afraid to knuckle under. losing an arguement isn't the end of the world. sometimes sticking to your guns just shows how stubborn and unwilling to 'see the other side' a person can be.

DO NOT BE afraid to come back to mom and tell her she was right.
better yet, don't talk to her about it, mope and just be a silly snot about the whole thing. I GUARANTEE there will be a day when mom is not around to argue with. you'll sit by the phone crying and carrying on-and thinking about all the times you wanted to be right so badly- and thinking about how it would be nice to share it with her.

the fastest way to disarm a person is to say,
Hey, maybe you are right!
I'm wrong.
I'm sorry.

age and experience will always overwhelm
youth and exuberance.

arguing takes two people......one, when you refuse to participate...
it become a conversation again....

You have a very valid point. With our situation, it was more one sided. I'd always give in to her. Always put what she wanted and thought was best first and ignored what was right for me. It would be so nice if she would for once listen to my side without just dismissing it as foolishness and that I don't know any better because I'm young.

Not that I'm saying I'm always right. And yes, I have swallowed my pride quite a few times when I've gotten past the anger and conceded. Just that after awhile it's tiring of always being open to other person's point of view when they are never open to yours. Hard to compromise when the other person refuses to ever compromise. The only time my Mother ever conceded a point was after a year of not talking to each other because I did the unthinkable and moved out at 19. We were finally starting to repair our relationship and she told me that moving out was probably the best thing I could have ever done for myself.

I love my mother dearly, she's one of my best friends. But most times we have to agree to disagree.

More about me than you probably wanted to know. Don't know what possessed me to spill all that other than work is slow right now.

[iceyshiver21]

I might be on the wrong track or a completly different subject...but it seemed useless to start a thread about it.
Are Parents soppose to treat their kids as equals and listen to them, turning an argument in to a debate instead and and the parents AND kids accept when they are wrong or Treat them lower and completly block out what they are saying, even thuogh you have made a good point, they always come back with "Don't talk back to me!" or "Stop yelling at me! I am your parent I can yell at you, but not you at me!"

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Chinadoll

I love my mother dearly, she's one of my best friends. But most times we have to agree to disagree.

More about me than you probably wanted to know. Don't know what possessed me to spill all that other than work is slow right now.



spill what?

don't worry about things....

i forgot to mention......

when you feel the heat going up, change the subject...

"Mom, let's not discuss this right now, let's talk about something else......it can wait."

be firm, be nice and go on to the next.....

the key is to make the other person see that you will not engage them in BS.... as you keep doing that the person HAS to take it down a notch because you

won't take them on
argue with them
get them ticked off

they will learn that you have a 'cutoff point' and may just try to be nice in order to get their point of view heard. what you are doing is making that person know that when the conversation
gets heated you won't play.

some people live to argue.....the point is to converse-not let a subject turn into an 'i hate you fest'

one other point.....we all know 'what is good for us'...and won't take any kind of advice from people....

rule one: When someone gives you advice, DO NOT CHALLENGE them, say, "gee i never thought about it that way" and go on your way.....

rule two: when you go on your own way and things blow up, be prepared to do two things, go back and say, 'hey you were right!'
or don't ever mention what you did, how it went wrong or call them for help..

you'll get it tossed back in your face...be prepared to fail....
and be prepared to eat crow. think long and hard about 'what's good for you'....if life is kind you'll get a second chance!

and remember-SMILE.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by iceyshiver21
I might be on the wrong track or a completly different subject...but it seemed useless to start a thread about it.
Are Parents soppose to treat their kids as equals and listen to them, turning an argument in to a debate instead and and the parents AND kids accept when they are wrong or Treat them lower and completly block out what they are saying, even thuogh you have made a good point, they always come back with "Don't talk back to me!" or "Stop yelling at me! I am your parent I can yell at you, but not you at me!"

oh boy,

1st, i do not have kids....

parents should remain parents- kids, kids.

remember your parents have a little bit of experience in life and
need to set the rules up for their kids.

when they talk to their kids it means they listen, they may not agree or accept what you say, but they are listening.

when they listen that means they respect you as a person, but are responsible for you as a parent should be...

the key is to, talk and take what your parent say as wisdom.

a good point made is always a sign that you are thinking, but remember that, the parents have the final say.

one way to surprise them is to listen to them, pay attention and learn why they argue their point of view..

even if it KILLS you go along with them- make their job easier...
you will be surprised at how they react to you when you listen, respect and follow their directions....

they'll see your responsibility, respect and obedience as a sign of maturity.......you'll find that doors will open for you and life is a bit easier.....


i may be wrong.......

[iceyshiver21]

I listen..but at times they are wrong and they know it but won't accept it, well I should say my dad dont accept when I have the truth, I do when he is right. My mom always knows when I have a point and gives me credit for it.
I have gotten more respect by the people around me for knowing when to give in. I'm not one to bite my tounge (that would be my downfall) but I give in and tell them when my points are wrong. Im honest, and am not a sore loser. I just think its unfair that they can yell, but I have to sit there and take it wether i have something to say or not. I can't smile or cry with out them getting angrier. I have to sit there and take it. They send so many different messages to my head. Maybe I'm making this worse than it is, or maybe im just really, really confused...

Thanks once again Rich for giving me a Glance into adulthood.

[RICHARD]

i was sent this in the form of a chain letter....i don't do chain letters but thought that the advice is pretty neat.
--------------------------


THE FOLLOWING IS A CHINESE GOOD LUCK TANTRA TOTEM.




You may not believe in this but the advice is great!
Read all the way down, you might discover something new!!!

================================================== ==

ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.


TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE.
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR.
When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE.
When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who
don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt
but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.

ELEVEN.
Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don't want
to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great
achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN.
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others;
Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN.
When you realize you've made a mistake,
take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone.
The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE.
Spend some time alone.

[cubby31682]

With my parents they would listen we were brought up to debate what we thought was right or wrong. And yes my parents always had the final word.

One day at the dinner table my mother told my brother and me that she was going into have surgery the next day. I was about 15 at the time. I told them that I wanted to go and sit in the hospital and wait with my dad. They of course told me no! Then I told them that they taught us to tell them why we think we should be able to do things. And they both got quiet and listened as I explained that if it was me that was going in to have surgery then they would both want to be there to make sure every thing went ok. Then I went on to tell them, I know I am not the parent but I know you both are, and I don't think it is fair if I can not sit and wait at the hospital to make sure my mom is ok after her surgery. They both agreed that I had a very valid point and they took me out of school the next day and off to the hospital we went. Sitting in a hospital for 12 hours just isn't fun but at least I knew my mom was ok and didn't have to sit through my classes worried about it, and not being able to do my best at my school work. That was the best bedate that I ever made agaisnt my parents and my mother still talks about it to this day!

Katie

[iceyshiver21]

I have never had a debate such as that. For the most part mind start like this one-

It was tuesday and the Youth leaders where soppose to teach because the instuctor was gone on her honeymoon and trusted us to teach. I had to be there on time and was telling my dad that constintly through out the day, so he would remeber. After sleeping for almost two days in a row now I went to wake him up and ask him to give us a ride to dog training, because I had to be there on time. He got up ten minutes later. My and my Brother Dallas went out to get our dogs, and dad come out and asks for cloths pins, I said "I dont know, are you ready to go?" he said "yah hold on" he went back in and continued to look for cloths pins. Me and Dallas are waiting. He comes out really mad, yells about the cat and asks me and dallas to help him look. We did. Now its 6:30 the time I should have just been arriving...I called mommy and asked her where they where she said that they all broke. I told my dad yet and he spazed, saying he just say them yesterday, and yells to keep looking. Mom comes home from work and tells him that we dont have any, and he finelly gets ready to go. Now we are ten minutes late. :( Nobdy talks on the way over.
As we get ready to leave we tie niffer on his little dog tie thing in the back, but I can't get a hold of his harness to pull him back. So I shorten his lead. Dad is yelling at carlee my little sister to get in her carseat. we finelly get carlee in her seat and niffer in the back. I hardly have my seat belt on and he slams on the excelerator, knocking some stuff that was under the seat back by niff and making poor little niffer slam on his harness. I told him that, making sure I kept my voice flat. He said" If you wouldn't have shortend his leash it would have happened." Now I yelled "Im not the one who's driving knocked everyone out of their seats!" He hit the brakes once again knocking everyone around. Turned around, and put his fist in my face. I leaned back and didn't say anything beings my 2 cent were already said. I don't know if he would of hit me or not..I may have deserved it, but I kept quite for the most part. I know if he would have hit me, he would have regreted it immeaditly. Im his little girl, all grown up, becoming alittle more independent, or so my mom says. I just usally keep my mouth shut, only speaking when I have somthing to say.
Later on the way home from vacation we talked it out. He said he admired the fact that I stood up for what I had to say. But wasnt smart about it..and I know he's right.

Now Thanks to someone, I've learned how to act and not respond the way I did.

[Andie]

Now for mine.....


You know how in cartoons they step on rakes and it comes up and hits 'em smack in the face......... that really happens! (Don't ask I was a stupid child but Dad has it on video if anyone is interested)

Just cuz 4 people 2 dogs and a cat can fit on a queen size bed doesn't mean that it's comfortable.

Just because duct tape fixes everything doesn't mean You have to use it on everything.




There's more I just can't think

[ChloeLove]

Originally posted by Andie

Just because duct tape fixes everything doesn't mean You have to use it on everything.






LMAO! I love duct tape! :o :o

[Tonya]

I have a few personal lessons I've learned in life. I hope you all can save some grief from them!


When everyone is whistling at school, check to see if your skirt is stuck in your backpack.

Don't ever laugh hysterically at your work partner for falling chest deep in the mud. You'll fall into the same hole the next day.

If the front desk calls and asks you to close the door in a Cancun hotel, don't walk naked to the door to see if it's open. They may be referring to your room door, not the building door. And there might be five employees standing there trying to close your door since you told them it wasn't your responsibility. (Damn Corona's!)

Always make sure your voice chat is turned off before you start talking smack about your cousin's kid and her parenting abilities.

[Tonya]

One more from my son Jaden:

Don't try to show off on your motorcycle by doing the "closed eye" trick. You might run into a wall at full speed and it hurts.

[iceyshiver21]

Tonya, I think we want to hear some of the stories behind these ;)

[ChloeLove]

Originally posted by iceyshiver21
Tonya, I think we want to hear some of the stories behind these ;)

Definately agreed! ;)

[slick]

Originally posted by ChloeLove
LMAO! I love duct tape! :o :o
Me too!! Me thinks we should start another thread called "Duct Tape 101-How to use and abuse it" :D :D

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by slick
Me too!! Me thinks we should start another thread called "Duct Tape 101-How to use and abuse it" :D :D


http://www.ducttapefashion.com/

[Soledad]

I saw a wedding dress made out of duct tape online somewhere. It was actually pretty cute. :)

[slick]

ROFLMAO!!!:D :D :D :D :D Thanks for the laugh Richard. Interesting fashions but did not see any undergarments....ouch....
Perhaps we could make some duct tape T-shirts for the next PT meeting!

[Soledad]

Check out this duct tape suit - pretty snazzy!!

Duct tape suit (http://www.fancydeluxe.com/info/product.cfm?categoryID=4&productID=27&mainCatID=1 )

And here's the wedding dress...

Duct tape wedding gown (http://www.octanecreative.com/ducttape/fashion/weddingdress.jpg)

[slick]

Every woman's dream date, I'm sure.

"Oh baby, stick with me honey..."

[Soledad]

Their first dance could be to "Stuck on you..."

*snort*

[slick]

cough cough, choke choke, snort snort.....good one...
If he had stones in his pocket they could dance to "good old rock n roll".....

sorry, late in the day.

[Tonya]

They're all true...which story and I'll elaborate! :D

[slick]

Originally posted by Tonya
When everyone is whistling at school, check to see if your skirt is stuck in your backpack.

Don't ever laugh hysterically at your work partner for falling chest deep in the mud. You'll fall into the same hole the next day.

If the front desk calls and asks you to close the door in a Cancun hotel, don't walk naked to the door to see if it's open. They may be referring to your room door, not the building door. And there might be five employees standing there trying to close your door since you told them it wasn't your responsibility. (Damn Corona's!)

Always make sure your voice chat is turned off before you start talking smack about your cousin's kid and her parenting abilities.

I very intrigued by these ones. Any details to share????

[lbaker]

Try walking a mile in someone's shoes before you criticize them. Then when you do you will be a mile away and wearing their shoes

[Tonya]

When everyone is whistling at school, check to see if your skirt is stuck in your backpack.

The middle of my senior year, I transferred from a school of about 300 to a new school that had 3,000 students. I was really upset about it because I thought I'd never make friends in such a large school. Well, of course, I wore my best outfit to school. These black knee high boots, this short black skirt, and silver shirt. I got my schedule from the office and walked all the way across campus to my first class. The whole time, I was hearing hoots and whistles. In my head I was thinking "Damn, I must be looking good." I was late to class, so everyone was seated. I walked up to the front of the class, handed the teacher my schedule and walked to my seat. Still, more hoots and hollers. I was feeling hotter then ever by then. Then this guy, John who was seated next to me, leans over and goes, "Hey, pull your skirt out of your backpack." I was humiliated. The good part is that I couldn't have gotten known any quicker at such a big school. I made friends quick. By the way, that was in 1995, and John is still one of my bestest friends.

Don't ever laugh hysterically at your work partner for falling chest deep in the mud. You'll fall into the same hole the next day.

I work for the phone company, and my partner is this guy about 50 years old. Well, construction sites can get pretty muddy. We were walking up to a telephone pole, and the ground simply looked damp. Tony stepped on the mud and literally sunk up to above his waist in mud. I fell on the ground laughing hysterically. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't even find the strength to help him out. He was so muddy he had to go home and change. The next day, we had to go back to test the phonelines we'd built. Tony and I always take turns climbing poles, so it was my turn. Tony kind of hung back and didn't say anything. I stepped in the same darn mud, totally forgetting and sunk to my thighs. Luckily it'd dried up a bit, so I didn't sink as deep. Tony wasn't as mean, he helped me out alot quicker then I helped him. hehe. My work boots are $300 boots, I actually lost one! We searched and searched and couldn't find it.

If the front desk calls and asks you to close the door in a Cancun hotel, don't walk naked to the door to see if it's open. They may be referring to your room door, not the building door. And there might be five employees standing there trying to close your door since you told them it wasn't your responsibility. (Damn Corona's!)

In Cancun, my husband and I came back to the hotel really drunk. Our hotel room was in a separate building from the front lobby building. Mike was in the shower and I was undressing to take a shower when the phone rang. It was the front desk. In broken English, they asked me to close the door. I was like "What door, the building door, or the hotel room door?" I went in circles with them because of the language barrier. I finally decided that they were talking about the building door downstairs, so I go "Look, I'm not dressed, it's not my responsibility, you guys close the door." and I hung up. Mike's all "Who was that?" I'm all "Oh, just the front desk, I guess the door downstairs is open." There was kind of a hallway to our room door, so I couldn't see it. I walk over there to make sure it is locked, and there are 5 employees standing there trying to close my door. I am totally naked. The next day, we get a knock on the door. I look through the peephole and it's 5 more employees standing there snickering. I open the door and with a straight face, they are all "You air conditioner is broken, we need to look at it." I am like "No it isn't" They are all "Yes it is" So I let them in, they saw Mike and go "No, it's ok!" and left.

Always make sure your voice chat is turned off before you start talking smack about your cousin's kid and her parenting abilities.

This one speaks for itself. My cousin has bratty kids. I was chatting with the kids and cousin on msn chat. My mom calls. I tell my mom who I am chatting with. My mom hasn't seen them in years, so she asks how they are doing. I go on and on about how horrible they are and how my cousin never disciplines them. The whole time they heard me!

[Andie]

Originally posted by slick
Interesting fashions but did not see any undergarments....ouch....


HMMMMMMMM... a duct tape thong? And I thought camo was the only way to turn on a redneck! LOL:D

[ChloeLove]

Originally posted by Tonya
When everyone is whistling at school, check to see if your skirt is stuck in your backpack.

The middle of my senior year, I transferred from a school of about 300 to a new school that had 3,000 students. I was really upset about it because I thought I'd never make friends in such a large school. Well, of course, I wore my best outfit to school. These black knee high boots, this short black skirt, and silver shirt. I got my schedule from the office and walked all the way across campus to my first class. The whole time, I was hearing hoots and whistles. In my head I was thinking "Damn, I must be looking good." I was late to class, so everyone was seated. I walked up to the front of the class, handed the teacher my schedule and walked to my seat. Still, more hoots and hollers. I was feeling hotter then ever by then. Then this guy, John who was seated next to me, leans over and goes, "Hey, pull your skirt out of your backpack." I was humiliated. The good part is that I couldn't have gotten known any quicker at such a big school. I made friends quick. By the way, that was in 1995, and John is still one of my bestest friends.

Don't ever laugh hysterically at your work partner for falling chest deep in the mud. You'll fall into the same hole the next day.

I work for the phone company, and my partner is this guy about 50 years old. Well, construction sites can get pretty muddy. We were walking up to a telephone pole, and the ground simply looked damp. Tony stepped on the mud and literally sunk up to above his waist in mud. I fell on the ground laughing hysterically. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't even find the strength to help him out. He was so muddy he had to go home and change. The next day, we had to go back to test the phonelines we'd built. Tony and I always take turns climbing poles, so it was my turn. Tony kind of hung back and didn't say anything. I stepped in the same darn mud, totally forgetting and sunk to my thighs. Luckily it'd dried up a bit, so I didn't sink as deep. Tony wasn't as mean, he helped me out alot quicker then I helped him. hehe. My work boots are $300 boots, I actually lost one! We searched and searched and couldn't find it.

If the front desk calls and asks you to close the door in a Cancun hotel, don't walk naked to the door to see if it's open. They may be referring to your room door, not the building door. And there might be five employees standing there trying to close your door since you told them it wasn't your responsibility. (Damn Corona's!)

In Cancun, my husband and I came back to the hotel really drunk. Our hotel room was in a separate building from the front lobby building. Mike was in the shower and I was undressing to take a shower when the phone rang. It was the front desk. In broken English, they asked me to close the door. I was like "What door, the building door, or the hotel room door?" I went in circles with them because of the language barrier. I finally decided that they were talking about the building door downstairs, so I go "Look, I'm not dressed, it's not my responsibility, you guys close the door." and I hung up. Mike's all "Who was that?" I'm all "Oh, just the front desk, I guess the door downstairs is open." There was kind of a hallway to our room door, so I couldn't see it. I walk over there to make sure it is locked, and there are 5 employees standing there trying to close my door. I am totally naked. The next day, we get a knock on the door. I look through the peephole and it's 5 more employees standing there snickering. I open the door and with a straight face, they are all "You air conditioner is broken, we need to look at it." I am like "No it isn't" They are all "Yes it is" So I let them in, they saw Mike and go "No, it's ok!" and left.

Always make sure your voice chat is turned off before you start talking smack about your cousin's kid and her parenting abilities.

This one speaks for itself. My cousin has bratty kids. I was chatting with the kids and cousin on msn chat. My mom calls. I tell my mom who I am chatting with. My mom hasn't seen them in years, so she asks how they are doing. I go on and on about how horrible they are and how my cousin never disciplines them. The whole time they heard me!

ROFLMAO! Goodness, these are too funny! :D :D :D

[apcrs5122]

LMAO Tonya!!:D
Ok here's some I thought of (most from experience)


Things CAN and WILL explode in the microwave.

Don't try to get the cat to ride on the dog's back; you will have one very scratched up dog and one pi$$ed cat.

Don't try to "dance in the rain" on a plastic picnic table, it will break.

When someone uses the expresion "grab the bull by the horns" they don't mean it literally.