zippy-kat
06-10-2003, 04:50 PM
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the
Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli and
cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
Jerry's and Krispy Creme Doughnuts.
And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And
Man said "Yea," and woman said, "and another one with
sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that woman
might keep the figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat,
and sugar from the cane, and combined them.
And woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and
garlic toast on the side.
And man and woman un fastened their belts following
the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.
And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went
through the roof.
God then brought running shoes so that his children
might loose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man
would not have to toil changing the channels.
And man and woman laughed and cried before the
flickering light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And
man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that man might consume
fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?"
And man replied, "Yea! And super size 'em."
And Satan said "It is good." And man went into
cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli and
cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
Jerry's and Krispy Creme Doughnuts.
And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And
Man said "Yea," and woman said, "and another one with
sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that woman
might keep the figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat,
and sugar from the cane, and combined them.
And woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and
garlic toast on the side.
And man and woman un fastened their belts following
the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.
And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went
through the roof.
God then brought running shoes so that his children
might loose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man
would not have to toil changing the channels.
And man and woman laughed and cried before the
flickering light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And
man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that man might consume
fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?"
And man replied, "Yea! And super size 'em."
And Satan said "It is good." And man went into
cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.