Stenograsaurus
05-04-2001, 01:36 PM
I got this in an e-mail today and figured I'd pass it along.
An old man and his dog were walking along a country road, enjoying the
scenery, when it suddenly occurred to the man that he had died.
He remembered dying and realized, too, that the dog had been dead for
many years. He wondered where the road would lead them, and continued
onward.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of
the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was
broken by a tall, white arch that gleamed in the sunlight. When he was
standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked
like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like
gold. He was pleased that he had finally arrived at heaven, and the man
and his dog walked toward the gate. As he got closer, he saw a fine
gentleman sitting at a beautifully carved desk off to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, but is this
heaven?"
"Yes, it is, sir," the man answered.
"Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked. "Of course, sir.
Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought up." The gatekeeper
gestured to his rear, and the huge gate began to open. "I assume my
friend can come in..." the man said, gesturing toward his dog.
But the reply was "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought about it, then thanked the gatekeeper, turned back
toward the road, and continued in the direction he had been going.
After another long walk, he reached the top of another hill, and came to
a dirt road which led through a farm gate. There was no fence, and it
looked as if the gate had never been closed, as grass had grown up
around it. As he approached the gate, he saw an old man just inside,
sitting in the shade of a tree in a rickety old chair, reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there," the man said, pointing to a
place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate.
"Come on in and make yourself at home."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog. "He's
welcome too, and there's a bowl by the pump," he said.
They walked through the gate and, sure enough, there was an
old-fashioned hand pump with a dipper hanging on it and a bowl next to
it on the ground.
The man filled the bowl for his dog, and then took a long drink himself.
When both were satisfied, he and the dog walked back toward the man, who
was sitting under the tree waiting for them, and the traveler asked,
"What do you call this place?"
"This is heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "It certainly doesn't look
like heaven, and there's another man down the road who said that place
was heaven."
Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?"
"Yes, it was very beautiful."
"Nope," the old man said, "that's hell."
"Doesn't it upset you that they are using the name of heaven?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but it actually saves us a lot of
time. You see...They screen out the people who are willing to leave
their best friends behind."
An old man and his dog were walking along a country road, enjoying the
scenery, when it suddenly occurred to the man that he had died.
He remembered dying and realized, too, that the dog had been dead for
many years. He wondered where the road would lead them, and continued
onward.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of
the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was
broken by a tall, white arch that gleamed in the sunlight. When he was
standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked
like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like
gold. He was pleased that he had finally arrived at heaven, and the man
and his dog walked toward the gate. As he got closer, he saw a fine
gentleman sitting at a beautifully carved desk off to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, but is this
heaven?"
"Yes, it is, sir," the man answered.
"Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked. "Of course, sir.
Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought up." The gatekeeper
gestured to his rear, and the huge gate began to open. "I assume my
friend can come in..." the man said, gesturing toward his dog.
But the reply was "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought about it, then thanked the gatekeeper, turned back
toward the road, and continued in the direction he had been going.
After another long walk, he reached the top of another hill, and came to
a dirt road which led through a farm gate. There was no fence, and it
looked as if the gate had never been closed, as grass had grown up
around it. As he approached the gate, he saw an old man just inside,
sitting in the shade of a tree in a rickety old chair, reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there," the man said, pointing to a
place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate.
"Come on in and make yourself at home."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog. "He's
welcome too, and there's a bowl by the pump," he said.
They walked through the gate and, sure enough, there was an
old-fashioned hand pump with a dipper hanging on it and a bowl next to
it on the ground.
The man filled the bowl for his dog, and then took a long drink himself.
When both were satisfied, he and the dog walked back toward the man, who
was sitting under the tree waiting for them, and the traveler asked,
"What do you call this place?"
"This is heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "It certainly doesn't look
like heaven, and there's another man down the road who said that place
was heaven."
Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?"
"Yes, it was very beautiful."
"Nope," the old man said, "that's hell."
"Doesn't it upset you that they are using the name of heaven?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but it actually saves us a lot of
time. You see...They screen out the people who are willing to leave
their best friends behind."