RICHARD
05-21-2003, 10:58 AM
a story.
when i heard the story about the two jays that set up house between the houses, i laughed. as all good animal stories begin,
"well, one day they just showed up.." seems my brother's dog was the first victim of these 'stuka jays'. the military saying says the that "when you own the sky, you own the war".
it was a sunny day, but little did i know the clouds of war were amassing to blot out the light.
the next morning i was pulling the truck out of the driveway when i hear mr. jay yakking at me a mile a minute, since i don't understand "JAY", i moved a little closer, trying to figure out
exactly what was being said. i informed him i wasn't afraid and laughed right at his beak.
wrong move.
since then, i was dive bombed as i walked the driveway. my car was splattered with bird feces, that includes a one shot that i
can't believe. on the rear window just behind driver, this bird
dropped a doody that stuck to vertical window, no splat, no spread.......just one, perfectly round, doody right where my head would be...
after you get 'revenged' you think that it's over,
well, it's not.
that night, and everynight since then, i have been serenaded
by this bird that decides, "12:30 a.m., time for a song...."
now that my sleep patterns have been tweaked, we are even,
aren't we??
on saturday i once again ventured out to grab some breakfast,
i decided that some fast food would do. as i pull up to the drive thru i notice that my stereo is making funny sounds.....it's the speaker......well, a new speaker will cost...?????
i can't think with rock and roll blasting from the radio and to save the speaker, i lower the volume and .......THAT DAMN NOISE IS STILL THERE.
after i few seconds it hits me, birds don't like rock. not wanting to break the 'specialness' of the moment, i reach over and open the passenger door hoping that Mr jay, or who ever it is will exit the
vehicle.......then the obvious hits me-what if it is Mr. jay????
if i let him out here will he find his way home???? after 30 seconds i close the door. I ordered, payed and picked up my food.....pulling out to the fast food joint i was pleased to hear the
chirping, i was not going to break up the Jay family!
(deep in my heart of hearts i knew that playing the stereo, loudly, on the way home was a little pay back for keeping me up the other night and maybe, just maybe, our little war would be over......)
i made it home, parked the car and left to door open so my little
carpooling friend could escape and be reunited with his family.
that afternoon i went back out to the car, inspected the general
vicinity and found that my friend found his was out of MY CAR.
the war was over, until yesterday.
driving home from an errand i happened to look over my shoulder to check traffic..and to my surprise i end up face to face with.............................................. .................................................. .
.................................................. .................................................. .....
.................................................. .................................................. .....
.................................................a bird doody between the headrests of the seat. after our little trip it seem Mr. Jay or one of his bird buddies thought enough of our trip to leave me a 'tip'.
i got the message. never mess with a jay.
there is no moral of the story execpt that when you own the sky,
you can pretty much crap where you want.:(
when i heard the story about the two jays that set up house between the houses, i laughed. as all good animal stories begin,
"well, one day they just showed up.." seems my brother's dog was the first victim of these 'stuka jays'. the military saying says the that "when you own the sky, you own the war".
it was a sunny day, but little did i know the clouds of war were amassing to blot out the light.
the next morning i was pulling the truck out of the driveway when i hear mr. jay yakking at me a mile a minute, since i don't understand "JAY", i moved a little closer, trying to figure out
exactly what was being said. i informed him i wasn't afraid and laughed right at his beak.
wrong move.
since then, i was dive bombed as i walked the driveway. my car was splattered with bird feces, that includes a one shot that i
can't believe. on the rear window just behind driver, this bird
dropped a doody that stuck to vertical window, no splat, no spread.......just one, perfectly round, doody right where my head would be...
after you get 'revenged' you think that it's over,
well, it's not.
that night, and everynight since then, i have been serenaded
by this bird that decides, "12:30 a.m., time for a song...."
now that my sleep patterns have been tweaked, we are even,
aren't we??
on saturday i once again ventured out to grab some breakfast,
i decided that some fast food would do. as i pull up to the drive thru i notice that my stereo is making funny sounds.....it's the speaker......well, a new speaker will cost...?????
i can't think with rock and roll blasting from the radio and to save the speaker, i lower the volume and .......THAT DAMN NOISE IS STILL THERE.
after i few seconds it hits me, birds don't like rock. not wanting to break the 'specialness' of the moment, i reach over and open the passenger door hoping that Mr jay, or who ever it is will exit the
vehicle.......then the obvious hits me-what if it is Mr. jay????
if i let him out here will he find his way home???? after 30 seconds i close the door. I ordered, payed and picked up my food.....pulling out to the fast food joint i was pleased to hear the
chirping, i was not going to break up the Jay family!
(deep in my heart of hearts i knew that playing the stereo, loudly, on the way home was a little pay back for keeping me up the other night and maybe, just maybe, our little war would be over......)
i made it home, parked the car and left to door open so my little
carpooling friend could escape and be reunited with his family.
that afternoon i went back out to the car, inspected the general
vicinity and found that my friend found his was out of MY CAR.
the war was over, until yesterday.
driving home from an errand i happened to look over my shoulder to check traffic..and to my surprise i end up face to face with.............................................. .................................................. .
.................................................. .................................................. .....
.................................................. .................................................. .....
.................................................a bird doody between the headrests of the seat. after our little trip it seem Mr. Jay or one of his bird buddies thought enough of our trip to leave me a 'tip'.
i got the message. never mess with a jay.
there is no moral of the story execpt that when you own the sky,
you can pretty much crap where you want.:(