For some reason, this got me a bit upset...

[RockyRoad]

Well, lemme see how to put this so it doesn't sound completely moronic...
Well, I tried.

OK, the other night I was at a sleepover with a few friends. We started talking about guys & boyfriends (which they all had boyfriends before), and one of my friends mentioned I hadn't ever had a boyfriend. I got really weird looks from all of them, and one person was even giggling. Then they started to get involved; why I hadn't gone out with a guy before, if my mom would let me, etc. It was hurtful & annoying at the same time.

Well today my friend asked this guy out, and he said yes. For some reason, I'm kinda upset. Not upset that she got a new boyfriend, don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her, but that if it was me that went up to him and asked him out, it would have been a flat-out NO. It is annoying when I talk to my friends they are all sitting on the laps of their boyfriends hugging and cuddling, with me, alone. I've been asked so many times why I hadn't gone out with a guy. Well, because nobody's ever asked me. :( I know I sound selfish, but I can't help it. It hurts to be "ugly" in the eyes of the guys in my school.

I'm sorry for getting all mushy and lovey, I just don't know who to talk to except my PT friends, everyone else has boyfriends and would take offence, or would just not care. I bet I sound really dumb talking about being sad because I've never had a boyfriend, or even a date. If you haven't had one, you're like such a loser in my school.
I remember creating a thread like this while back, and rambled on and on about me annoying everyone with my "on-going soap opera" about me being made fun of. But more importantly, I remember lots of PMs and posts supporting me and giving me the strength I lacked to have confidence in myself. That's why I turned to you (not to get attention and a lot of replies, but because I can trust you)

Anyways, needed to vent... It felt good too.

Britt

[primabella]

Don't feel bad, Britt. I feel the same way. I have a lot of guy friends but no one has really asked me out. The one year someone did, I wasn't interested and so I am still boyfriend-less.:p Ahhh it dosen't matter. It hurts to be the only one but don't let it get to you. Your what now - 13? Don't let something so grown up as dating get to you now. They usually don't work out when your this young anyway. They don't last too long at 16 either :rolleyes:

Sorry I'm not too much help. Just don't let it bother you. And no one is ugly. Don't go telling yourself that that's the excuse for the boys in your grade. It's their loss.

[cali]

awwww, dont worry about it. I have naver been on a date either, I have been asked out, several times, but I dont trust people, I have always been the "loser" and the one who gets picked on, so I always say no, cuz its probly a joke:( but then I dont care about my looks, most of the kids at my school are really nice, and even the populare girls include me in their stuff:p I only know of 2 guys that have liked me in the passed, I could tell my the way they acted. one kid I really hated, liked me, this was obviose when I pushed him and he told everyone I had asked him out:confused: lol, and last year, another guy, but he transfered to another school, after the firts semester:( and this year, all the guys are going out with someone already, either that or they smoke, or do drugs ect.... now I would not mind the smoking if I was not allergic to ciggerette smoke:cool: anyway dont worry about it, it just means we will end up with a guy who truly likes us, instead of one that only considers looks:)

[slick]

I was in the same boat when I was in high school. My parents did not allow me to date until I graduated. At the time it did not seem to bother me too much because I considered myself to be the uglyduckling type and I was used to always being alone.

When I was 24 I met my boyfriend Al. We were together until 1987 when I found him sleeping with my ex best girlfriend. That ended quickly.

So now, I'm 50 and have been "boyfriend-less" since 1994 and I'm proud of it. I know now that in high school I was not ugly and neither are you. Don't let anyone try to convince you that having a boyfriend in life is a necessity. You are still young. Be independent and march to your own beat! When the time is right, someone will come along. In the meantime, be happy with your family and friends and good health!

[Andie]

Britt, honey, you are only 14 (i think... sorry I'm bad with ages) you have your whole life in front of you for guys. So what if you don't have a boyfriend (I know that's easy for me to say) singles have way more fun. Take it from me, I didn't have my first boyfriend til I was 16, I never felt like I would ever be good enough for a guy. I jumped at the first guy who asked me out and let him just be terrible to me because I thought he was the best that I could ever get. After we broke up (for the second time) I figured I would be alone forever becuase nobody would want someone like me. I moped for awhile then figure "screw it, it's the guys' loss" and went on with my life. I found a great guy when I least expected it.

I know how your feeling, Britt. I was there. The only thing I know to say is hang in there, life gets better, be careful who you give your heart to, and never forget what a great person you are. God knows when to send you your prince,knight-in-shining- armor.

[ramanth]

I was 18 before I started dating.

At 14 I had other things on my mind other than boys. Don't worry about not having a boyfriend. Most boys only have one thing on their mind at that age and it leads to babies.

Just be content with having friends and what you do have. If certain people tease you about not having a boyfriend then they don't sound like very good friends.

*hugs*

[4 Dog Mother]

You are probably not going to appreciate this advice from an old lady but you are only 13 and that is really young to start dating. Those girls that are kissing and cuddling with guys at your age could be on there way to getting more than they want. Have fun with other girls your age - don't waste your time worrying about how this guy or that guy feels about you. When you are older, you won't even remember those boys.

Some of those girls who are so "pretty" will be the last ones to get married. A guy at 13 may think they want the prettiest girl but an older guy wants someone who knows how to care about others. Since you have pets, you are showing responbility that will only add to your personality.

You said your friend asked a guy out - how many of your friends have done the asking - boys that age can be just as shy as the girls so it is not necessarily that no boys like you. They may be the boys who are as afraid of rejection as you are.

Start some self talk about the good person you are. Self esteem is important and you are a very special young woman or you would not be sharing yourself with others as you do here at Pet Talk.

[Cataholic]

Britt,
I am sorry you feel bad about this. Prolly nothing we say will change that, but I hope it helps a little bit. Think of ALL the things in this world that you have going for you. Take them ALL away, and in that HUGE empty space, put a boyfriend. Take away your family, your schooling, your pets, your girlfriends, the fun things you like to do, your health, your faith, take it all away. Now, put a boyfriend right there in the middle of it. I don't think you would find yourself very happy or satisfied with the trade, would you? It only 'hurts' now because it is ONE of the things you don't have right now....and really, it is a blessing in disguise.

Ramanth is right. MOST boys have one thing on their minds right now, and it is NOT your best interest, your happiness, your life, your goals/dreams. It is a pretty rare 'relationship' that makes it longer than 3 months at the age you are right now. Figure you are just sparing yourself the heartache, drama, gossip, etc.

Smile when your girlfriends make comments, ignore them, leave the topic alone. IF they are serious, and not just teasing you, you need to find new girlfriends. Be there when their life turns upside down because some immature 14 year old little boy breaks their heart cause he thought so and so was 'cuter'....find other things to focus on..cause no matter whatelse you find to focus on, I KNOW it will be more important, meaningful, worthwhile, better for you than a boy friend right now can ever be.
Hugs...

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Britt-
Hey girl! Well- DONT FEEL BAD!!!!! I feel the same way.

It hurts to be "ugly" in the eyes of the guys in my school.

I feel the same way... I do have an online boyfriend, and it makes things a little better, but not much because I like the feeling of someone I like being around me. <Maybe you should go out with Mike... lol>

But anyway, please please don't feel bad. I feel the exact same way cuz at our school, we have "preps" or the popular kids. I swear to god this one girl has had over five boyfriends THIS TRIMESTER!!! It drives me insane!!!!

Your so smart, it's okay to not have a boyfriend yet, and most parents would probably say the same... *You don't need a boyfriend yet you need to focus on school...* Blah blah blah... the usual.

Your so much prettier than me. Someday it will come.. Don't WoRrY!!!!

[Jesus Freak!!!!]

dont worry britt!!! i have never been asked out, i dont want to be. i dont want to do that because i just am not ready. i think i would totally blow it. sure, sometimes i feel like you, but dont let it get to you. at this age the boys are too imature to take anything seriously!!! :D dont wish so hard, before you know it, your life will be gone!!! i am with you all the way!!! you sound like a nice person, dating is only one part of you life. and it is not a race to see who gets the boyfriend, i bet you want to marry, so wait to you meet a nice guy and YOU make the move, it is not against the law for the girl to make the move. hope this helps!!!! :D

[RockyRoad]

Thanks everyone. :)
I'm definetly considering my friends carefully. I have met more friends this year, who I would like to be closer with and hang out with more.
I guess you're all right, it's not important. I'm just upset that my best friend now is going out with a guy, and if it goes well I may not see her as often, or when I do, wth her b/f.
Thanks for the help everyone.

[Jesus Freak!!!!]

welcome!!!!! :D

[HoRsELUvR]

dont worry about it.i know how you feel.im not exactly the most popular girl in school,but guys have liked me.they just dont tend to ask me out.

[bluekat]

Awww, don't feel bad, I feel the same way. Nobody asked me out before either. I still think that we're still to young( I'm 13 too). The grade eights in my school all have boyfriends, well, some of them. In my school, I think its pretty hard to get into a relationship, people are too shy to ask and stuff. Even at school dances, only the older kids dance. ONLY.
Anyways, I sill think we're too young. I'm going to wait until at least I'm 14 or 15 to start dating, if I get a boyfriend. But now, it doesn't matter, because we're still young, and I'm positive that there are some guys out there that like you. But I know how you feel, when all your friends ask you why you haven't dated before. I know it must be very embarrassing. I don't know why, but I hate when people ask me if I had a boyfriend before, it just annoys me. Just ignore them if they ask why, like how do you tell them exactly why.
I'm glad that you decided to tell us your problems, just remember, we're always here for you:)
*hugs*

[primabella]

Originally posted by FloppsyLadySally89

Thanks everyone. :)
I'm definetly considering my friends carefully. I have met more friends this year, who I would like to be closer with and hang out with more.
I guess you're all right, it's not important. I'm just upset that my best friend now is going out with a guy, and if it goes well I may not see her as often, or when I do, wth her b/f.
Thanks for the help everyone.

I know kinda how you feel. For about ten years my best friend and I have known eachother and people have asked us out (well mostly her) but we're not interested or whatever. But now its like, I hear her talking about a guy asking he rout and I feel a bit worried that I might not see her anymore. lol :p I know it's silly but I just do ;)

[RockyRoad]

I was just talking to my friend on the phone. It turn out that he asked her out, she didn't ask him. Also, she can't go out with him unless her friends come, so she wants to invite my other friend and her b/f, and me. I may not want to go, I mean who wants to sit alone while your friends are with their b/fs. OK, I'll stop now. ;)

On the bright side, a lot of the guys in my school are jerks with a capital J. (Geeky phrase, I know), and I would hate to go out with them. A lot of them make fun of my favorite teacher because she's Jewish. How cruel. I'm at least glad that my friend (hopefully) found a nice guy that will appreciate her. Those kind of guys are getting rarer and rarer. :)

[Kfamr]

You're too young anyways, guys are dumb, forget them.

[popcornbird]

I have to admit, I was shocked to read this thread. Britt, you only JUST turned 13. You aren't even in high school! You're a child, and so are those immature girls in your class that are showing off about something they don't have a clue to what it could lead to.

At 13, I never had anything in my mind but animals, my *dream* pet (didn't have one then), computer games, my friends (ALL girls), and nothing else. The thought of boys never even hit my head (not like it has till today). Although most girls have reached puberty by 13, most boys have not. They are still WAY to young and immature for such things. Although its an American and western culture to have boyfriends, that doesn't mean its a good thing. At this age, hormones are raging, and kids would basically do anything without thinking. The thought of girls as young as 13 cuddling with guys disgusts me. Once, children of this age were so innocent and sweet. Today they think they are *grown up* and sadly, do things which are not meant to be for their age. I have never had a boyfriend, never will, and I'm proud of that. God did not make us girls to be *used* by guys according to their wishes, only to be disposed of months or years later. Why get a boyfriend? When you get married, you are old enough to make decisions, and ready to live your life with a lifetime partner and start a family. I will never understand the concept of getting a boyfriend though. Why? Only to satisfy your hormone triggered desires, leading to a most commonly sad result later on. It is sad that this is part of the American culture, and that girls feel singled out and sorry for themselves if they don't have one. God did not make us to be used by men. If women are free, then why should we feel like this when we see other girls doing something. Why do we want to be the same? It doesn't make sense to go out with a guy at such a young age, when your life is supposed to have other priorities. We were not made to go around fooling with people of the opposite sex. A marriage is a life contract. Boyfriends mean nothing. Don't worry about them guys. Those little boys are worthless anyway. ;) They just want to use girls. Forget them. ;) I don't have a single friend with a boyfriend. I just don't hang out with such people. :) I think I can get off my soapbox now. :)

Ps. I don't mean any offense. I just believe having boyfriends is senseless and disgusting, especially at such a young age when you are not mature enough to know what you're doing, plus, personally, I believe its immoral to be going out with any guy out of marriage...... ;)

[jenluckenbach]

OK, just one more "old lady's" opinion.
1) you are young! Too young to worry about NEVER having had a BF, what? did you expect to start dating at 7 years old?this is a funny, sarcastic remark meant to make you laugh
2) I am the perfect example of someone who did not date early, did not date often, always felt like an unwanted outcast.....BUT.....I am the only person that I know from both high school and college combined that has been able to actually STAY married. I attribute it to learning how to appreciate a relationship, where I think they learned "when the going gets tough...move on to the next person"

I am sure there is more, but one of the most important things to remember is that we know it hurts and we know you can't just automatically stop it from hurting, but we want you to know that it will get better and you will probably end up (in the long run) MUCH better than they are. Besides, we like you the way you are.

[RockyRoad]

PCB, you are so right. God didn't make us all to make out with guys and to be used by them. :) You have very good points. :) Thanks for that post.

Thanks for the replies everyone. You all helped me realize that it is nothing to be angry or upset about. Plus, I don't get a broken heart! :)

[wolfsoul]

I'm glad you're feeling better about this now :)

Weeell, I'd just like to say that you aren't even close to ugly :) When I saw some of your pics I was jealous lol :o Ahhh...You are sooo pretty, and you don't want to go out with someone who can't see that anyways ;)

Trust me though, unless you find yourself emotioanlly stable, not nervous or anxious, or unless you can be truly confident in yourself, you don't even want a bf..Believe me, last year I got asked out by a really popular guy (flirting pays off ;) ) but I wasn't quite ready for someone so above my social status, and I practically broke under the pressure. I couldn't handle it, I was a nervous wreck. Finally I had to dump him. :o

Also, you would probably be surprised how many guys would go out with a girl who just asked :) I tried that this year, but the guy wanted to "get to know me better first." (I thought that was a stupid answer, what's a better way to get to know somebody than to go out with them?!)

Anywhos, I don't believe that you are too young at all, 13 is the beginning stage of the teen years! :D But, if I were you, I'd focus on my pets, and enjoy the time I have left with them :) One day there will be somebody who notices your passion for them, and will sweep you off your feet! :p

[Rottieluver45]

Don`t worry! I`m one year older than you and that has happened to me.


Once I went up to this guy and I asked him out,then the girl that HE liked walked by us,he looked at her for a couple seconds then he said no. It was hgorrible But I got over it. Now I don`t ask out guys guys ask me out. I haven`t had a boyfriend for one year and a couple months I`m doing just fine!

BTW: You are NOT AT ALL Ugly!

[captain]

Britt,

I am "older" than you, but I was not allowed to date until I finished high school!! My Dad said NO WAY!!

All my friends had boyfriends, went out, kissing and cuddling, etc. I was not allowed to go out on my own alot (I am an ONLY child), and instead found some other things to entertain me - I was out training (I do a form of Martial Arts), and made so many friends there - Male and female.

Even so, even with all the male friends I had, not one of them EVER asked me out, they always asked my FRIENDS out instead. They thought of me as a great FRIEND. That hurts too - as if they cannot "see" you!

BUT, I still have them as friends, and now have a wonderful husband who loved my personality and not my looks.
Lets face it, my personality will last a hell of a lot longer than my looks !!! :D :D

You are still young (YUK, I didn't want to say THAT), and you have so many other interests. Enjoy them, enjoy YOU, and be friends with everyone.

Believe me, one day, someone will notice you for what you ARE, not how many boyfriends you had from age 13!!! You do not need a boyfriend to feel special, or included or important - only YOU can do that (and of cours your parents, and US at Pet Talk!!!)

Hope you feel better :D :D

[Cookiebaker]

Hey Britt, glad you're feeling a mite bit better. I didn't have a b/f until I was 20, and in hindsight am so glad that I didn't give myself up until I met that special someone. Yea, it hurt some days, and yea, I felt blue a lot. But it was worth it. So hang in there, and don't worry. You have a *long* ways to go until you can give up. And don't let anyone tell you that you are ugly or anything close to that. You are a beautiful person, and especially on the inside.

[RockyRoad]

Thanks guys. :)

You're right captain, my personality will last longer than my looks as well.

I'm glad you all don't think I'm ugly either...lol :)

Thanks again,
Britt

[Miss Meow]

You have probably another 70 or more years of life before you leave this planet, plenty of time to meet boys and have relationship/s :) No need to cram all your life's experiences into the first 13 years. Girls who go carousing at 13 get called awful things like 'town bike' anyway, and the stigma of that lasts a lot longer than what you're going through now :)

PS you're a beautiful girl, maybe your friends are envious that you're lovely and don't NEED boys like they do ...

[Karen]

I have met you in person, and can say you aren't ugly. At your age, I wouldn't worry about having a "boyfriend," in fact, I wouldn't ever worry about it. I know, you are a "worrier," aren't you? Like mother like ....

Anyway, there's lots of life ahead of you. Use the ebergy you might spend on a "relationship" to better use - study something you enjoy! You were pretty shy at Pet Talk, PA, but that's okay! Paul was kind of shy when I first met him, and we "outgoing" folks think shy people are a challenge! Work on your own self, smile, build up your confidence, and friends (of any sort) will find you! :)

(Besides, you don't want to be like a girl in my school, who left school pregnant at 13 ... you want a better future! :) )

[shellonabeach]

FLS,

Your friends going off with guys over their other grilfriends (including you) are doing themselves no favours. You see at your age and for a lot of our lives even in marriage sometimes boys come and go whereas friends are always there for you. If your friends continually choose boys over their friends one day the boy will dump them and they will find that their friends have moved on and that they are the ones who are left on their own.

I also know when I was at school and we girls had wised up to the fact boys used us because we were pretty, had the biggest boobs, would do this would do that they moved onto the younger girls in the years below. The sad thing was they just used these girls and then dropped them. These girls were then branded "easy" and "slags" (british term) and the boys chose to respect and date the girls who were not "easy" and that they could have more than a physical relationship with.

To date a guy is more than just asking him out and cuddling it is about being friends.

And I know in those groups of boys there is a "loser" boy who has never had a girlf and if he chose someone he liked I'm sure it wouldn't be one of your friends who everyone else had dated before him.

[RubyMutt]

Don't worry about it :) I didn't date until I was 17 (I'm 19 now and I'm still with that same guy :D), and I'm honestly glad I waited. I remember when I was younger - between 13 & 15 - some of my friends had boyfriends. It seemed so weird because their parents would be driving them around on dates... It just seemed so strange to me... Wouldn't that be awkward??? I liked waiting until an age when I could drive myself around, stay out past 9pm, and be able to spend some alone time with my boyfriend. You have your whole life ahead of you! :D I hope you're feeling better about it, I know, it really can suck being the "third wheel" :(

[Corinna]

Another advice from a "mom" You have plans for yourself . A boy freind gets in the way, I know I married at 17 thinking I could purse my career of training search dogs. Wrong hubbys things can first. I don't regert my life 25 years of happy and sad times. I now am working on a search dog now for me and for fun.
My daughter has fallen in to the same trap as your friends and now at 21 is tring to get out of a BAD relationship. They started living to geather and buying a house now she wanis out and keep the house . She coesn't make enough to keep it alone.
Just keep your eye on YOUR future and the right person will be there and ready to accept you as yourself. Not what you make yourself to be just for a guy.
Keep your chin up and just have lots of freinds to do different things with.
You are a very pretty girl.

[wolfsoul]

Another thing - Statistics show that girls who date do much worse in school than girls who wait ;)

[Christiansmommy]

I have to say, since i met you in person at the PA pet talk meeting...i know for sure you are a very pretty girl and if the guys arent asking you out right now...they are missing out. I'm serious...you are very pretty and have nothing to worry about...you will have a boyfriend, and if you dont have one right now...it just b/c God hasnt led you 2 together yet...someday you will and it will be the right time for he both of you. You are still young and have plenty of years ahead of you...but if you ever need to tlak about it, feel free to post away :)

Robyn

[RockyRoad]

Thanks for the support & replies everyone. :)

Today, once again, everyone was talking to my friend about her new b/f, but I wasn't upset because I have something all those people who have b/fs don't have...Pet Talk! And no guy could replace that EVER!

And yes, I was very shy at the Pet Talk PA! I guess I should work on that a lot, for next year! ;)

I think that at my age, most boys (and some girls as well) are not mature enough to cherish a relationship the way it is supposed to be, not a petting zoo of some sort. :rolleyes:

Anyway, thanks for the support everyone!
{{{Hugs}}}

[jenluckenbach]

Well, as long as every one else is embarrassing Britt ;) , I can too. I can honestly say, meeting her in person, that she is a lovely girl. One that will probably end up being "the girl TOO PRETTY for the guys to ask out, for fear of rejection".

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by FloppsyLadySally89


... cherish a relationship the way it is supposed to be, not a petting zoo of some sort. :rolleyes:



That is about the funniest thing said on this thred! I am going to incorporate the 'petting zoo' phrase into my vocabulary!!!!!:D


So, when I see two teens mauling each other in public, I will say, "what do you think this is, some petting zoo?"!!! Isn't that funny?

[RockyRoad]

LOL :D What a good idea :D

[RubyMutt]

this is a little off the subject, but I just wanted to say that I LOVE your new signature FLS! :D

[RockyRoad]

Thanks! Popcornbird made it for me. :)

[Pam]

Well here is another 'old lady' with a comment or two. :) I met you at Pet Talk and know for a fact that you are very pretty. Yes you were shy but so was I at your age. Over time as you feel more comfortable with yourself you will outgrow that. I think the circle of friends you have now may be contributing to that by making you feel that you are in some way inferior to them because of this boyfriend stuff. Nothing could be further from the truth!

You have gotten so much good advice that there's really not too much for me to add. Back when I was in school (back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth) we dated at a much later age. I think the media today, advertisers, sitcoms, etc. have all pushed girls into dating much too early. They make it seem like 'the thing to do.' When a girl has been 'kissing and cuddling' since 13, what's left to do but you know what. What kind of life is that? Lasting relationships are built on a mature respect for each other. Yes there is kidding and cuddling of course but that should come later. Today kids are pushed into being adults before they are ready. My advice is simple - concentrate on school, pets, family, etc. Some day these ditzy girls who kissed and cuddled all through school will be envious of you when you are a successful veterinarian. ;)

[Vio&Juni]

Britt, I can add only that the things you will miss when you'll be my age (28) or older is being a kid, just a kid. I remember my colleagues at school, same age as you, eager to date and cuddle and kiss. I was too, maybe a little, but I remember what my mom told me - when you'll be older and (believe me) wiser, you'll understand how DEEP a relation should be. A guy your age cannot give you that, nor you to him.
I am glad I listened and studied and found other interests. Now, I am a successful woman, and I can say men like me, from what I can say ;) because I have much more to give than my former friends, which are UNHAPPILY married (because they were too young to know what marriage really means), interested only in cooking dinner.

And anyway, the only one whom you owe explanations to re why you're not dating, is you :)

[Logan]

What great motherly and friendly advice you have gotten, Britt! :) I had one boyfriend in my life, and that was Helen's dad. We started dating when we were 15. We never really saw anyone else. I think we both can look back and see how we limited ourselves and wish maybe that we had followed a different path. Half my life was spent with that boy/man, and what a rude awakening to be out there "available" again at 30 years old!!! I was scared to death.

So, I learned my lesson at an older age, than most, and I had a two year old, so my focus was on her. My point is that I have spent the last ten years of my life, "catching up" on the things I should have been doing when I was younger, focusing on the things I enjoyed and the things my daughter enjoyed. It took ten years to find the perfect person to fill a missing gap, that I didn't even know I was missing!

You follow your heart. You are a beautiful, strong girl. And one day, when the time is right, then the right guy will probably sweep you off your feet! But I'm telling you now, that waiting is NOT a big deal, and I can say that easily, because my daughter is now 12 years old, and if she got "asked out", I would adimately be saying NO!!!! :)

Logan

[tikeyas_mom]

I went out with my first REAL boyfriend when I was in grade 8.

then we broke up around 3 months later.

Then I found anohter guy i liked more then the first, and went out with him in grade 9, that relationship lasted almost 6 months.

then we broke up because I was going to a different school and all this other crud..

Dont worrie about guys, they are all immature at your age.

I am in grade 11 and I have only had 2 boyfriends.

[RockyRoad]

Wow, thanks everyone. :)

I decided I'm not gunna go to the movies with my friends. I was talking to my other friends, and they said it was mean for her to invite me to the movies on her double-date. And then the best friend of her b/f asked her if she wanted to "make out" at the movies...gross! I really think that's disgusting. Yuck yuck yuck! 13??? OK I'll quit my panic attack.

Anyways, thanks again for all the help. I think I have chosen the friends I will still hang out with, and those aren't the ones hugging & kissing in front of me. :)

{{{Hugs}}}

[Aspen and Misty]

Hey Britt :D Hope my advice aint to late! But I just wanted to tell you, and I may not be the best person to tell you this since I'm probly the "ugliest" person in the school (j/k) I'm telling you, thinking yourself as pretty helps alot. I know that most people think of me as over weight and ugly. Now me, I think I'm pretty and I could do much better then those guys at my school who are to shallow to date me because I'm not skinny enough or because of what there friends think. Look for a guy who is goign to date you ebcause of you, not because of your pretty Brown hair or your other good features.

I just hope that you see how pretty you really are and I have seen you in person and I know how pretty you are. you just keep telling yourself how pretty you are and soon everyone else will think so to.

Ash

ps: Britt, don't date till your 16, guys are age are...well...we won't go into it...but wait.

[carole]

Hi there Britt,
Another one with motherly advice here, but first i want to say after reading your threads i think u have something those others probably dont MATURITY, honestly for a girl of is it 14 u sound like you have a good sensible head on your shoulders.
I can understand at 14 , if all your friends are dating, u would feel left out, but as everyone else has said there is plenty time in your life for that.
I had my first boyfriend at 16, he was a red headed Canadian actually and he dumped me because i would not sleep with him, he was at least three years older than me, but i stuck to my guns, it hurt like hell because i thought i really loved him, wow did i have lots to learn.
I have a daughter who is going on 11 and she has formed a friendship with a boy of 14 who lives about 2 hrs away from us, he is my neices , husbands brother and was at their wedding, both my daughter and he were in the wedding party, i let them be friends, they text message each other and talk online, and they will c each other this weekend as we are going there, and play ps2 together, but no way will they ever date, besides she is more interested in playing Barbie dolls with her friends, maybe when they are older if they like each other still we shall see. i think its ok to nuture the friendship, but dating not even a thought.
We in nz always thought americans started dating far too young, and were so grown up looking for their ages, but now it seems its the same here in nz.
Now i have not seen your pics, but from what everyone says u are a looker, no matter what always believe you are beautiful inside and out ok.
Now take care and have FUN FUN FUN without those boys ok cheers

[RockyRoad]

Thanks Ash, it's never too late for advice. :) I probably won't date until 16 or later, cause nobody's mature enough in my grade to handle a relationship the way I think it should be cherished as.

Carole, thanks for the advice. :) Maybe I am a *bit* mature for my age... ;)

[wolfsoul]

Since everyone is already saying how pretty you are, lol, I'll say again that you are pretty, and tell you how I finally stopped seeing myself as ugly :)

Well, when I look around, I see alot of people who are prettier than me. But I think about how lucky I am that atleast I'm healthy, I'm at a good weight, other people like my hair even if I hate it.. , and I pick certain features that I like about myself :)

Try it, you are so pretty, I'm sure if you just think about how lucky you are, and that others think you are good looking, that you will see yourself as pretty too! :D You aren't overweight, you have great hair, a very pretty face; try and think of more things; You'll see ;)

And although I don't think you are too young to date, I believe that you are very right that a relationship can't be cherished until someone is more mature. I mean the guys of course ;)

[kingrattus]

I use to get teased alot when I was in high school & back in elementary school. Everyone use to call me gay & ugly, & alot more mean things because I only hung ot with guys, but never dated one.

Then I turned 16 & met a really nice guy that didn't know my past & liked me for who I was. I'm now 20 & will be 21 on aug 23 & I'm still with him.

So doen't rush into it no matter how mean the other kids r, mr right will pop up in the future.

[cheetahgirl]

Over here, no one has a bf. Its considered VERY bad to have one. Only few girls have one and everyone knows them as bad girls, and street girls. Its not encouraged culture here. Only some people have them, but very few. If someone saw someone hugging a boy here in public, that would be SOOOOOOOOOO gross and I think everyone would be disgusted and make fun of them. Ewwww Ewwww Ewwww Like you feel sad and left out not to have one, here, its the opposite. You would feel strange and left out if you did have one. :eek:

And if you are only 13, well, I can't even believe girls in America that are 13 think they are so grown up like your friends. Over here, even 18 is just a little girl. :eek: My little sister is almost 12 and she is just my little baby sister still. ;)

[carole]

GOSH isn't interesting to read about different cultures, maybe we could learn a valuable lesson here to let children be just that children, they are growing up way too fast these days.

[Nomilynn]

I am now 22 years old, and I have had 3 serious relationships and 2 guys that I dated a couple times. My first boyfriend I had when I was just 14, and I was with him for over a year. Despite some feelings on here, there was nothing "disgusting" or immoral or hormonal about it. He was my first love (I always will consider him to be my first love - I loved him with all the knowledge and experience I had at the time, and just because I was young it DOES NOT mean it wasn't real) and we had a very sweet relationship. Just because a 14 year old has a boyfriend it doesn't automatically mean that they are being irresponsible and having sex any time an adult isn't looking. I had other friends at the time who also had boyfriends. None of the relationships at that age were sexual. Yes, we were young, but we weren't stupid. I don't think it's right to say that *just* because you are a certain age, that makes you too young to date. It totally depends on maturity level and on the maturity level of the guy/girl you go out with.

Britt, if you don't feel like you are ready to date, don't let yourself be pressured into it. It sounds like you know that your self worth comes from within and not from how many guys find you "hot" so I think you have a good head on your shoulders. Good for you for standing up for what you believe :)

[carole]

Nomilyn u raised some very good points, and i totally agree with u, depends on the teenager,as a mum of a young daughter, i will remember your words when she reaches that age and take everything into account if she should want to start dating at that age.

[Nomilynn]

Originally posted by carole
Nomilyn u raised some very good points, and i totally agree with u, depends on the teenager,as a mum of a young daughter, i will remember your words when she reaches that age and take everything into account if she should want to start dating at that age.

Thanks :)