PayItForward
05-03-2003, 03:48 PM
I just found this on another forum, I thought it was funny.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces,
nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that even
God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!"
God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having
an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God
asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did to!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's
punishment was that Adam and Eve should
have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children
wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and
shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing
your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat
their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they
usually repeat word for word what you
shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children more
awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still
getting in.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ADVICE FOR THE DAY!
Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your nursing home.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
TAKE THE ADVICE ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces,
nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that even
God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!"
God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having
an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God
asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did to!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's
punishment was that Adam and Eve should
have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children
wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and
shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing
your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat
their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they
usually repeat word for word what you
shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children more
awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still
getting in.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ADVICE FOR THE DAY!
Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your nursing home.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
TAKE THE ADVICE ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"