1 year ago today

[neko1]

It's one year ago today that my grandmother passed away. It has gotten a lot better as the months progressed, but all in all, it's still hard to deal with. I can't believe how the time has flew by. The hardest part is not seeing her again. You get so used to going into PA to visit and now when we go down there, it's to visit a grave, I hate it. And my friend's grandfather just passed away yesterday and she found out while we were at work, just like I did, so of course there's her and me in the back room crying. Sorry I didn't mean to depress anyone, I just had talk.

Don't say "sorry" , you are most welcome to talk about this here ! I was also very much attached to my grandparents ; in fact after so many years , I still miss them a lot . MY mom's father was my favorite grandpa !!
It is always hard to deal with the loss of a loved one ... . The best thing you can do is cherish the happy memories , and also talking about how you feel ! So if you like , you may always pm me !! There is a Dutch quote that says :"Gedeelde smart is halve smart" ; which means : when you share your sorrow with others , it is only half as strong ! Chear up Neko!!

[moosmom]

Neko1,

Don't ever apologize for needing to vent. We're your friends and are here for you, 24/7! If you ever need to vent, this is the place :).

No one can put a time limit on the grief process. Everyone is different and does it at their own pace. My Dad has been gone 6 and 1/2 years and I still have this "ache" in my heart everytime I think of him.

Your heart will tell you. Listen to it. And hang in there.

[Vio&Juni]

It's 6 years and a month since my grandma died, it's still painfull and I still miss her. I haven't made it to the funerals and she is still for me like alive. I was thinking about her the last few days a lot and I realized I will never get over this.

[Ann]

Yeah, I know how you feel. Sorry...

[COCatMama]

I am closer to my grandpa than my gramma, last I saw him he looked very frail and suddenly 'old'. He is only 75 years old. My mom is very close with him, and I worry about what it will do to her when he does die :( .

[slick]

Originally posted by moosmom

Don't ever apologize for needing to vent. We're your friends and are here for you, 24/7! If you ever need to vent, this is the place :).


Ditto!!

My Mom and I were with my grandmother in 1997 when she passed away. As she was passing she did look up to each of us and whisper "Good-bye". It was a very peaceful passing. She was 98 yrs old. I've always been OK with this.

My father is a different story. He passed in 1995 at the age of 90 and I was always his "baby". The night he died, I missed him by 15 min. I was at work talking to a friend on the telephone about him and when I raced to the hospital, he was gone. I've always felt bad about that and am still having a hard time forgiving myself for letting him die alone. It's still really hard to talk about.

But Neko1 your grandmother is still with you and watches over you daily. Talk to her and let her know how you are feeling. I do believe they can hear us.

[Russian Blue]

Originally posted by moosmom
Neko1,

Don't ever apologize for needing to vent. We're your friends and are here for you, 24/7! If you ever need to vent, this is the place :).


I totally agree. Even though I'm a newer addition to the site, it's a great place!

The anniversary of the death of a family member is always hard. Both my grandmother and father passed away within 6 months of each other when I was 17. It hit our family really hard since we have a very small family and my father was the sole breadwinner.

The best thing I did for myself was to start a journal. It helped me express what needed to be said, but I didn't have to worry about anyone's reaction to my words. Plus, the pain and anger I had inside me had to be released and the writing helped me do this.

Take it one day at a time.

[shais_mom]

I understand how you feel. It has been 2 years since my grandpa died. Up until then I had all 4 of them, very lucky. I will be devastated when then next time.......
Please don't apologize, we know how you feel and are all here if you need us.
Hugs to you

[jenluckenbach]

You have not depressed any one, we all have someone that we lost. It was years before I came to grips with my mom's death and it will be equally as long for my friend who died in Nov. Some days are harder than others. period. that is how it is and how it will be. But feel free to let us know how you feel. How can we be there for each other if we do not know what you are feeling. I bet just typing it was somewhat of a relief. Take care, OK?

[RICHARD]

i always hated having my b-day so close to my dad's.
the family talk was 'what are we doing on DAD'S birthday?'

well he got his 'revenge'..
he passed away on halloween 2001 and we buried him the day before my birthday!....I'll never complain again.

my GF passed away 5 months later....and as we were leaving the
service a woman with an armfull of flowers bumps her shoulder into my chest.

It's the same funeral director who 'did' my dad's funeral..i told her that i was burning my suit because everytime she sees me in it someone has passed away.....

having loved ones pass on is very tough....but when i think about the fun we had and the little 'coincidences' it makes me laugh and think about how much fun they are having playing those little tricks on me...:)


they really aren't gone as long as they hold a place in your heart.

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Originally posted by Russian Blue


The best thing I did for myself was to start a journal. It helped me express what needed to be said, but I didn't have to worry about anyone's reaction to my words. Plus, the pain and anger I had inside me had to be released and the writing helped me do this.

Take it one day at a time.
A journal is a wonderful idea. I started one when my Mom died in 1964 and still keep one. One thing that may help is write down stories and special memories of your grandmother. Years from now you will smile when you reread them and who knows, future family members may love reading them someday. One of my aunts has one her mother (one of my grandmothers) wrote and to our family it's priceless.

The 27th of this month is the 4th anniversary of my Dad's passing. In some ways it seems like just yesterday, in others it seems millions of years ago.
I found scrapbooking helped a lot after his death. I wanted to make sure the pictures of him I had were preserved. There's been some tears while looking at them but mostly I remember the good times. One of his sisters has given me pictures way back when he was a kid. So fun to see him so young.
Hang on. It does get better.

[neko1]

I am feeling much better now. I have been out with my mom all day (we both took the day off of work). We did some wedding stuff to fill up the day and then we went out to lunch.

Thank you everyone for all of your kind words. I really appreciate it and I know my grandmother would be so happy to know that you all care.:)