*** Please Help! My Friend Cuts Herself***

[Jessica12345]

thats right. She cuts herself when she is stressed!:( :eek: :( :(
Im very scared.... she told me and only me, but i ended up telling her parents.

I cant beleive i told them! now she hates me. o my.:(

[NoahsMommy]

Jessica,

Cutting is a way to transfer emotional pain into physical pain. It is a very serious issue and your friend REALLY needs to seek help. You did the RIGHT thing by telling her parents...she may never understand why you did it, but I do. If that helps at all. You were worried about her and care, and that's all the matters, OK?

You should look on the internet for more information...maybe even give it to your friend if you can.

If you need to chat, I'm here.

~Kelly :)

[Jessica12345]

thank you so much:( Ill work on getting info for her at least.:(

[NoahsMommy]

No problem...you would be surprised how common this is. :( Its very sad.

Does your friend have a hard life? Is her family intact? Does she have someone to turn to that is "safe"?

[Jessica12345]

her mother and father are divorced. She will ussualy turn to me or her sister in 10th grade:( I didnt really think her life was so hard, but maybe i was wrong.

[tatsxxx11]

This is a very serious condition that requires attention immediately! It is a cry for help. You did a GREAT thing! So many fear to intervene for fear of retribution, but you did the right thing. You're a true friend! Even if she is angry with you now/when she finds out, she will thank you in the end!

[NoahsMommy]

Jessica,

Here's what I would do. I know she's mad at you, but I bet if you explained yourself and how you felt, she would understand. Do some research online about the causes of "cutting" and show her what you found. Tell her that you were scared, you didn't know what to do and all you wanted to do was protect her because you love her as a friend.

Hopefully she'll see that you really do care and that you want to be there for her.

It sounds like she needs a good friend like you.

Take care,
Kelly

[NoahsMommy]

I forgot to ask...what did her parents do after you told them?

[iwuvsmypuppy]

that is serious and you did the right thing you were scared for you and you friend she can be mad and she has a right to be you told her secrect>>>but you did it for rher own good i agree with whoever said look up info and give it to her that condition is more common than one thinks it is you did the right thing keep that in your head and dont forget it

[catland]

You did the right thing. It doesn't matter that she is mad at you right now.

Don't carry this burden alone. Have you talked to your parents, or to a trusted adult friend or relative?

Take care - you know you can always talk to people here.

[RockyRoad]

Jessica - YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. Your friend will end up realising why you did what you did, and she will be grateful. I agree with anyone who has posted here. :) I am so happy you took action, instead of just sitting there watching this happen like most people I know would have done because they don't want their friends to be mad at them. :( Keep in mind that you did what was best for your friend, and that you did absoloutely nothing wrong.

I am hearing talk that one of my best friends is throwing up her food. I'm not sure if it is true, but once I find out I am going to alert somene immediately.
Another time, one of the people I used to be friends with attempted suicide. We told the guidance counselor and the assistant principal what she was doing. Then she tried to "pop" (stab) herself with a knife, and the police came to her house. She was then put in an "institustion" and vowed she would kill us (because we told the A.P. and the G.C.). When she was realeased this year, am I dead? No. She realised what we did was for her own good, and therefore, did not even attempt to kill any of us.

[Jessica12345]

thank you so much everyone! and thanks for your support.


I am very happy right now because after reading your posts i got the courage to talk to her and i read a little about it to her. I said i was sorry i told her parents but i was scared for her and it was for her own good. She still seemed mad, but a few minutes l8er she called back and said thank you. then hung up.

I feel very good right now. I also found out that she is going to a counsler. I really hope everything turns out ok. i dont want anything bad to happen to her.

thank you again you guys. It means a lot to me that you support me.



~ Jess ~

[iceyshiver21]

Im glad you told her parents, i was in the same postion once.

[NoahsMommy]

That is wonderful news Jess. I'm very proud of what you did, you are a very caring girl.

Let us know how she's doing, OK?

[Jessica12345]

sure thing.:)

[Steffi N]

Jessica, thank you for helping your friend.

Here is a link to 4 Girls Health, a website for girls sponsored by The National Women's Health Information Center at the US Department of Health and Human Services.

4 Girls Health (http://www.4girls.gov/index2.htm)

To their page on self-injury (http://www.4girls.gov/mind/self-injury.htm)

I hope these will be helpful.

[primabella]

oh congrats to you! you should be proud for what you did. i hope everything works out well. :)

[Logan]

Jessica,
I can only hope that my daughter will choose friends as good as you throughout her life. I would certainly want to know if my daughter was hurting herself this way, or doing something harmful to her body. It was a cry for help, and you answered.
Logan

[KYS]

You were very brave and did such a wonderful act,
and it was the right thing to do.
I wish everyone would be lucky enough to have
a good friend like you. Glad she is going to a counsler and is
getting help.

[zippy-kat]

Originally posted by NoahsMommy
Do some research ... and show her what you found.

I'm going to have to disagree here. Be *VERY* careful which materials you show your friend; certain things can trigger a 'cutting' episode.

[babolaypo65]

first, you did the right thing. and remember often people tell someone *because* they want help and dont know how to get it.
second, yes, i agree that you should be careful what you show her. as with sites designed to help girls with anorexia they sometimes backfire and become a "how to do it better" lesson. how to do it and not let it show, not get caught... but for her to know that MANY other girls do the same thing is probably a good thing... so she wont feel so alone.
again, you did the RIGHT thing and she knows it.


Originally posted by zippy-kat


I'm going to have to disagree here. Be *VERY* careful which materials you show your friend; certain things can trigger a 'cutting' episode.

[Ann]

Kudos to you. I've known a lot of cutters in the past, and in most cases it helps them to get attention and help, which seems to apply for your friend.

Good luck to you both, keep us posted :)

[Jessica12345]

thank you so much you guys. im so lucky to have you! ok well i have to go to school right now but ill tell you how it goes when i get back. :) thanks again.

I just saw this thread !

Oh jessica , I am proud of you !! You are the best friend someone can have !! Your friend is so lucky to have you !!
Cutting is a very serious psychological problem , so it is really necessary to seek professional help for that!! There was a girl like that in my class in high school . She did it sveral times , and one time they had to rush her to the emergency room real fast ! She survived and took counceling . She is a normal woman now .

Jessica , you're one in a million !! (know that song from The movie "Ms Congeneality" ?)

[gini]

Jessica, I want to jump in here and give you a big hug! It took a great deal of courage for you to tell her parents. You knew that you would be putting your friendship with your friend in jeopardy!

But just look what your actions put into motion. She is getting counseling! Exactly what she needs, because she is crying out for help!

You should be so proud of yourself for being the best friend a girl could have. It was a very selfless act. You thought only of your friend.

I can tell by all of the posts that every Mother here wishes that their children could be just like you! Very courageous!

God bless you!

[NoahsMommy]

Originally posted by zippy-kat
I'm going to have to disagree here. Be *VERY* careful which materials you show your friend; certain things can trigger a 'cutting' episode.
Doh, I'm sorry. I should have clarified this...show her "why" not the "how" information. You are correct, I guess I just assumed Jess lived in my brain. ;) Sorry about that.

[lynnestankard]

Jessica {{{{{Hugs}}}} flying across the miles - what you did was a really caring and loving thing.
Someone had to be told and her parents needed to know what their daughter was doing. As Logan said - I'd have wanted to know if either of my daughters was in so much trauma they were harming themselves.
I think when she's thought this through she'll realise what a really good friend she has in you.

Lynne

[Jessica12345]

Originally posted by lut

Jessica , you're one in a million !! (know that song from The movie "Ms Congeneality" ?)

yes! i love that song! and movie! :D


thanks again you guys. audrey is doing good.... she isnt cutting herself anymore and we are friends again. her parents are watching her a lot more and she goes to councling. she also seems quite a bit more happy than normal.:) im so glad. she scared me so much!:eek: i hope this will never happen again!

:D :) :D ;) :D :)

[popcornbird]

Jessica, you're a hero for telling her mom. I can tell you're a wonderful girl just from PT, but this incident convinces me that's you're great even more! Good job! I would do the same. She will realize what a great friend you are for telling later in her life.