Loss Of a Pet

[Winterskiss]

Hi all - i'm new here and don't know how much I can "drop by" per se - however I've read about everyone's great dedication to their cats -

I lost my cat "Taffy" of 17 years (old cat) - Calico/Persian/American bobtail mix it looked like...On elvis's birthday Jan 08,02 I'm a firm believer that in some senses, a pet is brought to us for a much deeper reason than to be a household ornament.

My cat died twice that night. (No kidding).. The night she died - she came up to me and started to meow unmercilessly until I picked her up and held her where she quit breathing several times, drooling and just got the "glazed" look... She was lifeless - gasping for air every so often and wouldn't respond to my petting her. Out of nowhere......she started to breath again - at first irratically, then it regulated and she came back. She seemed ok for quite awhile after the incident - I stayed up late to pet her, love on her and she even ate some chicken.

About 4 am the same thing happened where she came looking for me again - meowing like crazy........going through the same fit, only this time growling and crying .........*sigh* I petted her and cared for her and as corny as it sounds to some I whispered in her ear as I cried "If you have to go now, i'll understand..."

she died....never in my life had I experienced a pet death at this magnitude....fish don't count for me................

I'm not ready for another cat - I still have one whose now seemingly starting to notice taffy missing, because she's sure a lot more friendly than she used to be....and meow's a lot more and seemed to be more lonely now, than before - understandingly so --------------------------- I'm used to "loss" in life, however anyone have suggestions for being supportive to my other cat? She's 10/11 y.o and I don't want her to get into bad habits from TOO much support.

Regards
Winterskiss
RIP Taffy 4/1985 - 01/08/02

What a touching story , Winterkiss ...:( ! I am so sorry for your loss; you must feel so heartbroken now ... ! I kow what I am talking about , as i lost my beloved Sydney last summer ...:(

Please tell us more about her ; it will help you to deal with your sorrow !

[Winterskiss]

Hmmmm lut...let me see

We used to cuddle at night for many years. She loved popcorn, cheese doritos, tuna, chocolate ice cream (very small doses), tuna and all meats. For some odd reason Carrot bags got her going....it was like catnip to her.

She was unique because of her vocal capability. She held cat conversations with me and even if she didn't understand "Hi, how are ya?!" she meowed back like she did understand. She would meow back when you spoke to her....she didn't want to be rude im sure. She was just a very alert cat and i've never seen a cat that would sit at a table while you're playing cards with friends and sit there for at least 30 minutes as if she were "one of the crowd".....

I donno how to cover 17 years in one post.......sigh

thanks for the ear lending ;) or shall i say EYE? :D

[Karen]

Just pay a little more attention to your current cat, reassure her you still love her, and she's not going away. Maybe buy her a stuffed animal to pal around with for now ...

[Barbara]

Bari_d posted this poem:

~ I Remember ~

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying. You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear, "It's me,
I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, you
were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today. Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair. I tried so hard
to let you know, that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you everyday. To say to you
with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning and say
"Good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you
to see. Be patient, live your journey out...
then come home to be with me.

-----from our Rainbow Bridge page: http://www.cathappy.com/rainbow.htm

I found it very touching. I did not lose a cat recently but more than 20 years ago and there are still moments when it hurts.

Come more often, you will like it here and people really understand.

[All Creatures Great And Small]

There is really not much that can heal your heart other than time and personal strength. As far as your other kitty, though, I was not aware that a kitty could develop bad habits from being loved too much. Actually, I was not aware that you could love a kitty too much! ;) I think you should do whatever feels right as far as supporting your other kitty - she probably needs a lot of attention now too. Enjoy her totally for her remaining years. You don't necessarily need to get a second kitty to fill the space in your heart, unless you feel it would be beneficial for your other kitty to have some feline company after all these years. I think you'll know when/if the time is right. And there's nothing corny about your parting words to your kitty; I think it's wonderful. I've done the same thing with lesser creatures (my daughter's rats).

[Winterskiss]

Wow...i didn't expect such a turnout on my post...this is nice - thanks...

I've had a cat die on me "sam"- while I lived in california - I lived in 29 palms and one night she got out - she never returned.....my guess is that the coyotes got her.. :o( Taffy either never went outside or she got back in safely....

That was a beautiful poem....awghhhhhhhh don't make me cry at work it's hard not too........

thanks again ladies.

[Winterskiss]

I love her to pieces.... This was taken a few days before she passed on...........


ugh...

[moosmom]

Winterskiss,

I am so sorry for the loss of your Taffy. She was beautiful. I recently lost my beloved Casey. He was the love of my life who knew when I was sad, happy, needed head butts or moochies. It hurts when I look at my pillow and know that Casey won't be there to lull me to sleep with his diesel-like purr.

Lut's poem was wonderful. I've made a copy of it and will frame it.

I wish you lots of love in your grieving process. Anyone who has lost a pet knows exactly what you're going through. Just know that all of us here at Pet Talk are here for you. The members here are the best group of friends I have ever met. Very warm, caring and compassionate. Anytime you need us, we will be here for you.

God bless.

[Winterskiss]

Yea, i've really come to like this site a lot in such a short period of time....:)

I've enjoyed getting my emails "Reply to post".... YAY! I had a call today from a friend whose already trying to get me to take on another kitty, however no thanks...not now... My other cat is 10/11 yrs old and I'm thinking that maybe my next pet will be a ferret (?) Not sure, because they can really stink even if descented and neutered. However, they're so cute!

I'm glad you thought taffy was beautiful....she looked ragged in her "last days"....i kept her brushed and unmatted as much as I could, but i do notice how much less they care as cats age.


Regards

[Cataholic]

Hi Winterskiss,
Welcome to PT, though I am sorry it is under these circumstances that I meet you. I am sorry for the loss of your beloved calico, Taffy. She is at RB with all of our pets, playing, waiting for you, in full health! Take care of yourself, and visit us often.
Johanna

[Winterskiss]

How did "Rainbow bridge" come about?

[Soledad]

Winterskiss -

It sounds like your cat had a very dignified death. You were there, and who wants to die alone in this world, pet or not?

As for Rainbow Bridge I do not know of its origins, but I'm not really into that as it seems like some sort of fairy tale. Might be helpful for some, but not me.

[NoahsMommy]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Calico girl, Taffy. She sounds like she was a beloved kitty.

Here is a link to what Rainbow Bridge is...hope this helps:
http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2536&highlight=rainbow+bridge

How did you come to meet your sweet Taffy?

[Winterskiss]

My mom and dad took me in 1985 to someones house to pick one out...

If i can recall well, we had to pull her out from under the couch, because she just "Wasn't having it" lol....I've been through everything with her in life from the first "real" heartaches to a cross country move (twice) ......

boyfriends, divorces, heartbreaks, bad days - good days...she was there..and when i was sad she'd cuddle under my arm - as if we were spooning.

and often she'd lay on my chest on her side with her head rested upon mine..........

[lynnestankard]

Welcome to Pet Talk Winterskiss - although it's under such sad circumstances. Your Taffy girl was one beautiful lady and at least she had you with her at the end. I'm sure it gave her much comfort and eased her passing. I think most of us here have lost beloved pets and realise what your going through. Don't mind the tears - soon the wonderful memories will come flooding back.
{{Hugs}} across the miles.

Lynne

[Winterskiss]

Hi there, thanks for the kind words. I've somehow maintained a stiff upper lip 95% of the time, but when i read some stuff it makes me want to cry and i just have to suck it up you know?

This one got to me today:
If It Should Be



If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep
Then you must do what must be done
For this last battle can't be won.

You will be sad, I understand
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than the rest
Your love and friendship stands the test.

We've had so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears
Would you want me to suffer?
So when that time comes please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend
But stay beside me to the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you do for me
Although my tail its last has waved
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Do not grieve, it must be you
Who must decide this thing to do
We've been so close, we two, these years
Remember joy among your tears.


Thanks so much for all of you.............. *tearing up* again..AWGH!
take care

[NoahsMommy]

That poem is beautiful...but very touching as well.

Does it make you feel a bit better?

I went back and re-read about your special little girl, she must have had a wondeful personality. Thank you for sharing us with her. They really are precious angels, I believe, sent when we need them most. Its horribly sad to let them go, but then, maybe a new angel is on his/her way to you, be it human or furry.

[iceyshiver21]

Hello- Welcome to pettalk, im very sad to hear about your little kitty, I have lost 5 myself, and i still start to cry every time i think of one or there little playful gestures or how they used to sit on the pumpkins, and play in the flowerbeds, (4 were kittens at the time of there death, there mother had got hit by a car and we tried to raise them, they were brought out side to enjoy the sun only under our watch, also theres a fence around the garden) and reading the poem, and some of the loving replies, i started to cry and every one started to look at me. (Im in my Intro to Business Class)

[Winterskiss]

I had written before, but my browser timed out and here I am again....

Nothing, necessarily has made me feel "Better" however this chatboard seems to leave a good feeling in me. :o)

I'm sorry for your losses too....per chance would you happen to have an idea of why my cat would be growling, crying/meowing as she passed away? is that typical? to me it felt like she was 'Fighting" to stay - I don't know? but thats what i think since she died once that night and came back...this is what i hate. the wondering and the burning tears.

[Miss Meow]

Hi Winterskiss, I'm sorry to hear about Taffy. It must've been a long and sad night for you, losing a companion of 17 years. Maybe she was fighting to stay with you a bit longer to say goodbye. I think cats know when their time is up, and she put in an extra effort for you.

Rest in peace Taffy

[Winterskiss]

Thanks :) I'd like to think she was fighting to stay because it sure felt that way. *sigh*

I have friends around me that encourage me to get other pets - and the timing just isn't right yanno? School at night and working a minimum of a 48 hour week - i just dont have the time to give a new pet. I think it'd be a distraction....and i've still got 1 pet - a cat -

I thought about ferrets. They're supposedly ok with cats...however when things settle down - i think that'd be a better time to introduce the animals....so i can be more supervisory.

take care

[toughCookie]

winterskiss

so sorry about your beautiful Taffy, and I believe that she is in RB now. you were there for her when she needed you, you did all you could do.
welcome to pettalk, though like someone else said, sorry it is under these circumstances. I joined pettalk almost a year ago, about a month after I lost my sweet Cookie. I think in pet general somewhere there is a post with pet loss links. if you can't find it let me know, I will send it to you.

[Winterskiss]

How did RB come about? Things like the death of my pet really put "Spirtuality" to play. I wonder ...............

however i pray that i am united with my lost loves.