Eli

[moosmom]

I took Eli for his rabies vaccine today at Petco. It went very well and he did great.

I mentioned it to my sister-in-law and she asked me if the guy I worked with was going to adopt him. I told her that he backed out of it. Her response was "I knew you were going to keep him, I just knew it!!" I explained to her that I have been trying to find him a home. She told me to contact HEADS, the animal rescue group in our town and turn him over to them for placement. The only problem with that is, they want me to pay for him to get neutered before they'll take him. And he'll them be placed in a cage at PetSmart until he's adopted.

She said "You can't afford another cat! I've got a $350 vet bill to prove it!! (she allowed me to put Casey's final treatment on her credit card and make payments on it) That really pissed me off. I make payments on that bill every time I get paid.

I am going to be 50 in a month and really don't appreciate being treated like a child. I just said I had things to do and left. At least I take care of my cats. She's got a dog who looks like a pot-bellied pig that she never walks (she lets her out on their deck outside to pee and poop :eek: ) And the dog has a sore on her leg that she had neglected for months!!!

I told her that if I'm going to have to spend the $50 to have him fixed, I might as well keep him seeing as I've already spent $100 between vet visits and vaccinations.

I had 6 cats before Casey died so what the hell is the difference????

I'm sorry, I guess I'm just having a little pity party tonight. Forgive me, but I needed to vent again.

Oh, and another thing...she, in front of a whole bunch of people said that I have absolutely no life or friends because I'm always on my computer. I told her that I have alot of friends on this site and it's about the only thing that is keeping me sane since moving out here to Michigan, leaving my friends and daughter behind.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Donna, I agree that you should keep Eli. I actually thought that he was already yours. As far as friends go, you have 100's of friends here on Pet Talk and I'm very proud to say that I'm one of them. I'm sorry that your sister-in-law is treating you like you're a child but I guess she'll never understand that animals are more than just pets to some people like us here at Pet Talk. BTW feel free to vent on here any time. This is also a great site for emotional support. Please take care. :)

[lizbud]

MoosMom,

I'm sorry that your sister-in-law said such unkind things to
you. Try to forget about it & her nasty comments. It's your life
and your pets & she should keep her comments to herself.
You are know here at PT as a kind & very caring companion
to your very lucky kitties. Tell her to buzz off.:p :D :D :D

[All Creatures Great And Small]

It sucks, doesn't it, being indebted to this person so you have to listen to her "advice" and scolding. First of all, it's not a definite thing that Eli will need expensive medical treatment down the road. I've had 2 cats now that have never needed anything beyond the annual physical and shots, so who is she to decide whether you can "afford" your cats? Secondly, I am sick of defending my interest in my computer / Internet as well. It's no worse than people who watch TV all night (like those stupid reality shows), people who have a hobby that consumes all their waking moments, etc. There are websites that discuss Internet addiction, and so far I am exhibiting NONE of the symptoms and I'm sure you aren't either. Just because you haven't seen some of us in the flesh doesn't make us any less your friends, and in fact, we're a pretty low-maintenance bunch here - just pop on once in a while and type to us! You don't even have to get dressed! :D You have a life, you have a job, you see people all day long, so you're not some weird hermit. You had friends in Connecticut, so obviously you know how to make and keep friends. Just ignore her, and hopefully when your debt to her is paid you can spend less time in her company.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Donna, I'm sorry your sister-in-law went off on you like that. She had no right to do that, even if you do owe her money. You certainly haven't been having an easy time of it since you moved, and she isn't helping the matter any. When is the last time she moved away from everything she knew to start over again in a new town? So she has no idea what you've been going through, and probably has no idea how deeply you care for your kitties and how much your Casey Dude meant to you.

I know it's hard, and her words and attitude still hurt, but you do have many, many friends here at PT. Invite her to check this site out and let her see that you do have friends - real friends - and that you are a well respected member of this community. I mean really, does she expect you to just move into town and instantly have hoards of friends? Sheesh. :rolleyes:

And I guess I should apologize right away if it seems I'm a little biased. I have one sister-in-law who I have no use for, so I'm sure some of that attitude is coming through here.

I'm glad you did vent because I'm sure you'll feel better after reading our responses, and spending some time with your kitties. And I do know that spending time on PT is very therepeutic (sp?), so I hope you forget her harsh words and smile a little at all the kitty antics here on PT.

{{hugs}}

[rosethecopycat]

Donna,
In my opinion you already have 5 or 6 great friends, and you get to live with them.
It will be my pleasure meeting you in person, and your Moo.
You sound like fun. And we have the same interest in cats.

:p

Rose

[Cataholic]

Donna,
I would ignore your sister in law as much as you can. She apparently doesn't have your heart interest in mind when she speaks. Imagine the unhappiness she has in her life..., then be glad you don't have it in yours! As to one more cat...that isn't going to make or break you. I would see to it that you pay her off quickly, cause then she is out of your financial hair. Tell her she is lucky, cause she is married into your family...he he he...

Be good to yourself, and only someone that 'lets' herself be treated as a child can be treated as a child. You are an adult, so, just ignore her...or do what I do...secretely roll your eyes or dance around the room when you speak to her (works best if you are on the phone, seems kinda obvious if she is there in person).

{{{{{{MEAN PEOPLE PROTECTOR HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Johanna

http://www.uselessgraphics.com/foryou.gif

dear Donna , don't let that comment of your sister-in-law get you down !! You are a very much loved person here at PT !! We all know you care very much for all your fur-babies (we ALL do , he he )! It is okay to vent here , you know : that's what friends are for ,hey !! http://www.uselessgraphics.com/ilove_you.gif

[Barbara]

Donna, just ignore her. I also thought little Eli was yours. I could never bear to put a kitten that has lived me in a cage for adoption. Starting in a new city gets more difficult when you are not 20 anymore. But I am sure that the same purrsonality that made friends here at PT will make them in RL (real life) too.:) :)

[kimlovescats]

Donna ....

I'm sorry that your sister-in-law upset you .... just try to pay her back as soon as you can, and stop telling her any of your personal business! ;)

If there is one harsh lessen I have learned and am still learning over and over again, it is to live my own life, keep the details to myself (haha) and do the best that I can! I have always been bad about giving TMI (too much information) ... and it always hits me smack dab in the face! Where there is room for an opinion, there will be an opinion!!!! (my own quote..hehe) We are all human here, and do the best that each of us can do with what we have .... it is no one's place to judge anyone else .... although we may have done things differently, we don't have right to say our way would be better!

I think it is safe to say that all of us here at Pet Talk have a sincere, and deep love for cats, dogs, pets .... and none of us would do anything less than our best for them!!!!

[NoahsMommy]

Oh Donna, I'm so sorry about the cruel comments your sister-in-law made. She really has no idea, and I agree with Johanna, imagine how unhappy she is in her life to be able to despense criticism so easily.

Know that you are a huge asset here and have a ton of friends that not only look forward to your posts and conversation, but who truely care about you. We really do.

Moving to a new place is so scary and hard, especially leaving your family and established friends. But, just think, you have us, in any state or town that you are in. :)

Take care and kiss that sweet Eli for me. You'll make him a good forever mommy if you choose to keep him.

[moosmom]

Wow! You guys just blew me away. I love each and every one of you. You have been my rock, my support and have been there for me through everything since I got here. I am forever greatful. And so very proud to call you my best friends.

I got alot of wonderful advice and realize that my life is MY life. Eli IS part of my fur family - PERIOD. And I am going to do what I want to do no matter what.

I realize that I do owe Marge the money for Casey's treatment and have paid her $25 every pay period. But for her to throw that in my face just really irked me. I would never THINK of doing that to anyone.

Kimlovescats hit the nail on the head. TMI. Well from now on, I'm telling her nothing. I'm keeping my distance (she and her husband live next door to me) and going about my own life.

As far as having her check this site out, she wouldn't know a mouse if it smacked her in the face, that's how computer illiterate she is. She's miserable in her own life because her husband (who I adore) is in the early stages of Alzheimers at the age of 68. Her way of dealing with it is to go off and do her own thing leaving him at home to watch tv and eat toast. It disgusts me. I try to get him out by going out to eat, go to the movies, etc. She's in major league denial.

I guess I had great expectations when I moved here. Expectations of doing things together, meeting new people, etc. Hopefully it will happen with time.

Anyway, thank you all so much for your love and support. It means the world to me to know that I have such wonderful, caring friends on this site. I truly don't know what I'd do without you.

((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

Donna and her furbabies INCLUDING ELI!!!!!

[Cataholic]

Donna,
I can tell you from first hand experience- it is incredibly difficult to move to another area (even if it is one you are originally from). It takes such time to find a new support system, set of friends, habits, memories, etc.

I moved from Cinti, Oh to Seattle, Wa, in 1989 (I was 23). Then, two years later, I moved from Seattle to Worcester, Ma. Five years later, I moved from Worc to Cinti. EACH time, it took me a minimum of 9 months to feel even close to 'at home'. AND, I had a job packed full of young people like myself each time. IT IS HARD. So, be easy on yourself- and that might mean distancing yourself from bad energy. Last I checked, we only get to do this one time- make it as good as you can FOR YOU.

And, with the little bit you shared about your SIL, well, it isn't any wonder she has some meanies in her...she DOES have a rough boat to row, and probably isn't feeling very good about things. I don't excuse her behaviour, but it does explain her frame of reference.

Hang in there....it only gets better with more cats.
Johanna

[Miss Meow]

Originally posted by NoahsMommy
Oh Donna, I'm so sorry about the cruel comments your sister-in-law made. She really has no idea, and I agree with Johanna, imagine how unhappy she is in her life to be able to despense criticism so easily.

Bingo. When people are unhappy about their lot in life and can't/won't do anything about it, it's a defence mechanism to put other people down.

She's treating you like a child; I'll be celebrating with you the day that debt is paid and you can cut those ties that she's hanging onto!

As everyone else is said, you are a very much valued person in this community. It would be a sad day if you started posting less (OK, I'm being selfish here :)) so do what the h*ll you want and start easing out of her life until she feels able to have an adult-adult relationship with you. You could be a great form of support for her with her husband's health issues but it's up to her to reach out.

[Nomilynn]

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with your SIL. Her comments about PT don't make any sense either, as you have met PTers in person and have made lots of friends both in person and on line. Besides that, you have to have a more open mind because communication on a message board like this is like branching out and meeting people of all ages, races, religions, and even people from all over the globe! In realising that, I can't understand why anyone would call being on the internet a lonely experience.

I'm very happy that you are able to keep Eli and care for him. I don't think he could have picked a better mom!

You have lots of friends here, don't forget that and don't hesitate to lean on every one of us!!

((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) from Naomi, Bassett, Tilly and Nutmeg.

[moosmom]

I have only one thing to say to everyone here that has been such great friends and support to me

YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!!!

[jenluckenbach]

Boy, I am a little late here, but add me to that list of people that say "Who the blazes cares WHAT she thinks!!". People like that need a life a whole lot more than you or I do (I have 13 cats, not only 6, and people would say I don't get out much, but hey....I'm not comdemning other people's ways of life, either). If I were you, I'd pay her back as fast as humanly possible and dump that relationship all together.
You've got US !!!!

[emily_the_spoiled]

Donna, please ignore what your sister-in-law says. Even though she is having difficulties in her life she has NO right to say anything to anyone else about how they lead their life. People are correct, pay her off ASAP and then make sure to keep future informaiton on a need to know basis only.

You are too valuable a person to feel less than important.

Like Johanna I move regularily across the continent and between countries. I know how difficult it can be to re-establish a network of friends. But please remember that "strangers are just friends you haven't met yet".

Cheryl

[hellostranger]

Moosmom,

I'm late posting here but once I found the thread I had to throw my two cents in.....

I'm so sorry your SIL said those things to you. Even if she was trying to make herself feel better by putting you down, that's no excuse. Eli is a lucky little guy to have found you, and the love and companionship you get from furfriends is well worth the money you may (or may not) end up spending on him.

As for friends, I haven't been around PT very long, but I remember seeing your posts in reply to my questions about getting Gus out of the sewer. You were very supportive and helped me through a very stressful time. You're a big part of the PT community here - friendship is also about what you give to others and your presence here gives us a lot!

PS I always wonder about people who know nothing about computers or the net but don't hesitate to give you advice about them anyway..... :rolleyes:

Laura

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by moosmom
She's miserable in her own life because her husband (who I adore) is in the early stages of Alzheimers at the age of 68. Her way of dealing with it is to go off and do her own thing leaving him at home to watch tv and eat toast. It disgusts me


your 'pity party' moved me to write....
in a nutshell..I lost my dad to diabetes and AD a bit more than a year ago, I lost my G-friend 5 months later to cancer..I took my
GF's cat because her family were a bunch of A-holes and they 'couldn't take' him. Taking eddie has made my life more
bearable because he has softened the loss of two of the people I
admired most. As for you, You should be commended for your
time and the effort you have put into keeping your BIL active and
in to life. There will be days ahead where you'll look back at the time you spent with him and it will put a smile on your face.


At the end of the Wizard of Oz, where Dorothy and the others were getting their 'wishes' filled-the wizard gave the tin man a
heart and said something like "it's not how you love with your heart-it's how much you are loved in return" (i paraphrased there but you get the idea....). The love your pets and BIL show you will get you through the tough times.

p.s. after my dad's death I'd call my mom and ask her what she was doing- She'd answer 'having a pity party!' I told her that she should make sure that she put away the hats and the rest of the
cake when she was done-I said that it's o.k. to have one, but not
to get into the habit-it's no fun having a party alone!

keep your chin up!

[moosmom]

I'll say it again - you guys are wonderful! You are my extended family and give me the support and love that I don't get from my own family.

I have made it a point since Sunday to keep my distance. I go over there when I know she's not there just to chat with Cliff and see if there's anything he'd like to do (i.e., go to Sam's Club, movies, etc.)

Richard, I know exactly the quote you're thinking. It took me a while, but I found it.

"A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others."