Are "thank you" notes a thing of the past

[sasvermont]

I can't tell you how many gifts I have given in the past couple of years, only to get no note from the receipents. (SP) One would think an email, text, mass posting etc. would be okay, but even that doesn't seem to be on their agendas. What do you guys think? Am I just old fashioned?:eek:

[Freedom]

I always send thank you notes, or at least an email. Have done all my life; even when a friend has me stay with them for a weekend, I send one once home.

Yes, I do think you and I are old fashioned, no one else seems to do this at all any more.

[Taz_Zoee]

While I do not usually send formal thank you notes, I will at least send a text, message on FB or email to the person. Especially if they mailed it, so then they know I received it.
I have several friends (we are in our early 40s) that send the formal thank you notes for gifts all the time.

[gini]

I think that we are all becoming very lazy and rude. I have always sent thank you notes - it is just the way that I was raised. But I do know that people appreciate hearing that you did get their gift (mail, UPS, FedX)
and that you liked it. I hope we don't stop a very nice habit.

[pomtzu]

Unfortunately it seems to be a dying tradition. I always did send thank you notes - driven home to me as a kid by my mother - and I still do. Even now if it's only in the form of an email, I still do it. However, on the recipient side, I almost never get any kind of response. Rude and sad, all wrapped into one! Definitely, change is not always for the good! :(

I do believe that the posters ages here are showing too! :p

[gini]

I have been thinking about this thread and I started to laugh. When I was married, my husband and I used to send what I considered to be a goodly amount to his nieces and nephews that lived a distance away from us. We did it on their birthdays and Christmas. We never heard one word - not a peep - no mention ever.

I got tired of not hearing anything because it was a goodly sum which obviously didn't mean anything to them. So I stopped sending checks.

And I never heard a word - not a peep - no mention ever.

[Randi]

Sas, it's gotta be a thing of the past - sadly! If I receive a gift or e-mail or a card, I always send a thank-you note. It may not be right away, but I certainly keep the people in mind and get back eventually. I like to keep in touch with people who think of me and I enjoy keeping in touch with them. :)

Gini, I think it's extremely rude not to send at least an e-mail to say thank you, when you have given someone a gift.

That said, I haven't replied to everyone yet, who sent me a Christmas card.

[sasvermont]

I have been thinking about this thread and I started to laugh. When I was married, my husband and I used to send what I considered to be a goodly amount to his nieces and nephews that lived a distance away from us. We did it on their birthdays and Christmas. We never heard one word - not a peep - no mention ever.

I got tired of not hearing anything because it was a goodly sum which obviously didn't mean anything to them. So I stopped sending checks.

And I never heard a word - not a peep - no mention ever.

I have a friend who has told her G-kids "no thank you- no more gifts"..... so I decided to DO but not say the same to my niece and nephew and guess what, they don't care one way or the other. So now I send nothing but cards.

On the other hand, my niece's daughter has sent me thank you notes/letters for the dresses I have made for her. My niece's son has not sent a note for the socks I made for him. So, guess what. I am taking the hard line and maybe the younger ones will figure it out.

I think it should be taught in school, as an English lesson. Or writing skills.

Amen. and maybe goodbye to thank you notes.
:confused:

[cassiesmom]

Goodness, I hope not... I like sending them! Follow up to Taz-Zoee's post: I don't mind receiving them by e-mail or message on FB, not one bit.

I received two Jacquie Lawson e-cards for Christmas and I sent back a thank you e-mail for those. They were both so sweet and thoughtful.

My siblings' children (ages 21 to 30) will sometimes send a one- or two-line thank you e-mail. That's fine with me. They are super busy and I am grateful that they take the time to do that.

I guess my age is showing! ;)

[sallyandsnowx]

My mom has always drilled the whole thank you note thing into my head. Every birthday or graduation party, I sat down that following day writing out personal thank you notes to every guest that came. I always told my mom- and still do- that I'm the only teenager I know that seems to write these. Sadly, she agrees.

Even if I can't find the time or the money for the cards, I will always call to thank the person.

[caseysmom]

My daughter sends thank you's for the babies shower gifts and their birthday gifts she even sent me a hand written card thanking me for having their party at my house. She is very gracious and appreciates everything everyone does for her twins.

[caseysmom]

Have to add i donated for something on here one time for a gift for someone and never got a thank you, sure made me feel unappreciated.

[pomtzu]

Have to add i donated for something on here one time for a gift for someone and never got a thank you, sure made me feel unappreciated.

Similar situation here - but this was for a cause and not a gift. Never got a simple thank you, so I just don't do it anymore. Sorry to have to be that way, but..................:(

[Randi]

Have to add i donated for something on here one time for a gift for someone and never got a thank you, sure made me feel unappreciated.
I did too and also never heard back. That's the last time for that person.

[happylabs]

I still send Thank You notes and I taught my daughter to also do the same. I have nieces that never sent Thank You notes from wedding gifts and shower gifts. It bugs me. I think people are getting lazy. I even send Thank You notes to my parents when they do something nice for me.

Any ideas how we could turn this around?

[catnapper]

I think Thank you notes are still being sent. I know my daughter sent them for her baby shower. Iwrote all my thank you's for my wedding and people kept asking me why they didn't get one... I kept saying "but I maled them!" only to find them YEARS later stamped and rubber-banded together in a stroage box. oops.

I would epxect a Thank You note for a formal occasion (wedding gift, shower gift, graduation, etc.) but I have a coworker who sends a thank you note for EVERYTHING. It gets embarassing actually.... last week I gave a coworker lunch. I had a coupon for buy-one-get-one free. I gave her the free item. A few days later I got a Thank You note in the mail. Seriously? I don't expect a formal thank you for an impromptu gesture.

[Asiel]

I always send thank you notes or cards for gifts or any act of kindness received. My gr.children are always here for the holidays so they thank us in person but if we mail birthday gifts we get a phone call or at east an e-mail thanking us...the day I don't get a thank you will be the day I stop the gifts and they know it . My kids have never forgotten to thank us for any gift or favour we do for them..

[Scooter's Mom]

I still try to send Thank You cards... I may not always remember, my brain isn't always successful, but I try.

[Lady's Human]

My children are required to send thank-you cards for presents, so no, they're not a thing of the past.

[gini]

Just an idea............:D Maybe if we sent out "thank you cards - you know, they sell them 10 or 20 to a box"

as the gift they might get the hint. Or is that being too obvious?:D:D

[Lady's Human]

That strikes me of just the subtle gesture a relative or two would make....

[Alysser]

I've always sent thank you notes or made it a point to call the person if I received money in the mail or something for my birthday or christmas. I've never had any huge party or something, so I've never sent thank you notes for that. I do believe it's a nice thoughtful gesture and there is a need for it, guess some people don't feel that way.

[sasvermont]

I've always sent thank you notes or made it a point to call the person if I received money in the mail or something for my birthday or christmas. I've never had any huge party or something, so I've never sent thank you notes for that. I do believe it's a nice thoughtful gesture and there is a need for it, guess some people don't feel that way.

You hit the nail on the head, thoughtful gesture. I don't understand why some people, old and young, have decided to stop being thoughtful and in many cases, respectful.

I have a niece who at some point earlier in life had a baby girl. Everyone was thrilled. A girl. I bought that child many, many outfits. Expensive ones, cute ones, sweet ones, trendy nice ones, but not ones sold in Walmart (Disney characters etc.)... and the clothes were on hangers, tags attached, when I went to visit her a few years later. It broke my heart. In one case, I had bought the same outfit in two different sizes. It was a little pink and white striped OshGosh overall dress. I suppose her taste was different, but gosh, not only did I not get thank you notes, the clothes were never put on the child's back. I wish she had just given them away. I am not the only person has happened to. Her own mother had the same problem. Gifts, no notes, never used. Both of us finally stopped buying things for her children, clothes wise. Now I just send cards.

There is much to be said about ungrateful people. To me, they have a personality flaw that will come back to bite them in the butt eventually. It won't just show up when it comes time to send a thank you note. They seem to be self-centered and will probably be that way for the rest of their lives.:eek:

I am going to give this a rest now. As you can tell, my feelings have been hurt and I won't be changing my mind about thank you notes any time soon! :)

[redbird]

I don't think saying 'thank you' in some way is old fashioned at all. I would never ignore something that was given to me or said something nice to me. If I couldn't thank them in person, I would find a different way to do it. That's not being old fashioned, it's being a normal human being.

[Craftlady]

I always send a "thank you note" it's rude/bad manners not to. IMO
I hate when you give a wedding/shower gift and even baby gifts and dont get a thank you note.
I was raised to send a note and I also include some personal conversation in the note.

[Bonny]

Sometimes I get thank you's & sometimes not. Myself a lot of times I am a month late in sending a thank you out but get it done eventually. I like sending a personal message along with the thank you & I like receiving them too. :)

[Kirsten]

That is sad not even to hear the words "thank you" after you have given a gift to someone!

We usually don't send "thank you" notes over here (with the exception of special events, like weddings, etc.), I figure it's because the postal charges are really expensive in Germany, compared to other countries, but of course we give the person a call and say thank you. E-Mail and text messages are also an option, but I find a telephone call more personal in such a case.