I'm so upset. Tell me I did the right thing. [Archive]

Tanya&Fritz

11-28-2002, 11:44 AM

I just went to PetSmart to pick up a few things and as I was leaving there was a mother standing beside her truck. I looked a little closer and she was hitting her 2 kids who were inside the truck. Not once, but beating them up. The kids were screaming. It was the worst thing I've ever seen. The kids were about 3 and 4. I left there shaking and didn't know what to do. As I got on the highway I called 911 and told them what I saw.

I told my husband about it and now he's worried about me. He says you shouldn't get involved with domestice disputes.

But if I didn't do anything, how could I live with myself???

11-28-2002, 12:09 PM

Did you see why she was doing this Tanya ?
And , did you give the license plate to 911 ?

Then you did all you could ! Your husband is right when he warns you not to get involved into domestic problems ; but if that was child abuse , it is not tolerarated , NEVER !!! No matter what those kids did , their mom had NO right to beat them like she did !!:mad:

Tanya&Fritz

11-28-2002, 12:14 PM

In the store, the kids were just being normal kids. Asking for a cat, a fish, etc. The mother would tell them to shut the ^&% up.

COCatMama

11-28-2002, 12:14 PM

He's wrong to say you shouldn't get involved, what if she had ended up killing one of them or badly hurting them. Nobody has any business beating on a child like that, altho i do agree some kids need a right good spanking sometimes, but NEVER out of anger and not in a public place and on the bum nowhere else.

Cataholic

11-28-2002, 12:56 PM

I think you did the right thing. Too many of us turn away from this sort of situation because we don't want to get involved.

ChrisH

11-28-2002, 01:11 PM

Tanya, I wholeheartedly agree with Cataholic
I think you did the right thing. Too many of us turn away from this sort of situation because we don't want to get involved.
You did a good thing, the best you could do.

aly

11-28-2002, 01:21 PM

Tanya,

You did exactly the right thing. It was smart to call the police and not try to confront the woman yourself. You never know what someone like that might do!

I think its wrong to spank a child for any reason, but downright beating them up is horrendous. I would freak out if I saw that happening in person.

You did the right thing. I think your husband just doesn't want you to get hurt is why he told you to stay out of it. But I dont think that woman could find out it was you who called.

***HUGS***

COCatMama

11-28-2002, 01:21 PM

I agree with them :) children don't deserve to be abused, and more people should do something when they see it happening.

mugsy

11-28-2002, 01:22 PM

I third it!! I probably wouldn't have driven away, so your husband should be glad that you did what you did. Remember the woman in Elkhart, IN who was beating her kid on camera?? She got arrested. I hope they got the wench. She should be beaten the way she beat her kids. Stupid woman. I applaude you for doing what you did!

Aspen and Misty

11-28-2002, 02:33 PM

i think you did the right thing. I am 14 and know I would be terrigfied if my parents hit me in any way. I don't think I would tell because I would be to scared so I difinitly think you did a great thing. I'm so glad you called the police, no child deserves to be treated that way.

Ash

Nomilynn

11-28-2002, 02:50 PM

I really think you did the right thing as well. It seems really strange that she would be doing that EXACT thing, especially when it's been in the news so much with that young mother who was arrested. I think that shows how she was being selfish in taking her frustration out on her children. I think you should be very proud that you did what you could for those young kids.

lynnestankard

11-28-2002, 04:21 PM

You really did the right think Tanya - don't worry about it. I bet there are many kids who wish someone would stop their parents hitting them. Good work!

Lynne xxx

lizbud

11-28-2002, 05:33 PM

I think you did exactly the right thing !!! I would have done
the same, only I probably would have said something to the
woman. She should be ashamed of herself.... Poor kids...
What kind of future will they have with a Mother like that?
If she could "lose it" like that in a public place, what must she
be capable of in her own home? Poor kids...

ramanth

11-28-2002, 06:36 PM

*HUGS*

I think you did the right thing. Hopefully the police look into the incident.

luckies4me

11-28-2002, 08:13 PM

My mother used to beat me and my brother when we were younger and I wish someone would have done something about it. I was very young tand therefor did nothing about the matter. One day my mother went to Mexico with my younger borther and sisters father and left us with her bfs mother who didn't feed us for two weeks. Well all we had was rice and beans once a day and finally someone took us away and we lived at a choldrens center for a year. I loved it there. We had a huige arcade, it snowed and we always had food. Now my mother is fine. I don't blame her for what she did but Iused to. My younger brother and sisters dad was very abusive and beat her everyday. He broke her arm while she was pregnant and so much other stuff. It took her 8 years to leave him! We eventually got help and now she is a great mommy, but I do wish someone would have done something about her behavior sooner so that she would have lefthim sooner.

I think whatthis mother did was ridiculous. I could never imagine hitting my son, EVER! I AM NOT going to be like my mother and the amazing thing is that I controle mytemper very well around myson. I thought for sure I would get angry with him but how could you when they are so sweet and innoccent. The mother needs help and someone needs to speak up for those children. They do not deserve to be beat, no matter what they did wrong! :mad: You did the right thing and be proud for yourself. :)

moosmom

11-28-2002, 09:20 PM

Tanya,

I have to echo what everyone else has said. You definitely did the right thing. I was also beaten by my father. Not alot but enough to cause bad memories.

No child should fear their parents. Edward James Almos put it perfectly..."Abuse is learned, it is not something you are born with."

I feel terrible for those two kids. And that mother needs to be slapped around herself. You have nothing to feel bad about. And I'm sure your husband was just worried about your safety. I hope they nail the dumb #$%@#*. She probably abused animals as a kid. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

BTW, I can bet you that yours was not the only call the police got either.

Karen

11-28-2002, 11:11 PM

You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.

I might have confronted her myself, but I think I am much bigger than I actually am. I do not expect anyone else to do that, but I would have gotten between her and the children. Yeah, I bruise easily, but I'm not gonna have emotional scars like those kids are.

You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.

Now, that said ...

I know many of you want the mother to be beaten like she was doing to the kids, but guess what. She was probably beaten as a child, and taught that behavior. I hope she is caught, given extensive counceling, and that her children are given help to understand this is NOT normal, nor is it right.

You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.

What you did was smarter and safer than what I might have done!

You did the right thing. From any perspective, You did the right thing.

moosmom

11-29-2002, 12:09 AM

Karen,

Very well said.

All Creatures Great And Small

11-29-2002, 12:14 AM

The fact that she (the mother) was shopping at PetSmart scares me, because that would mean there are animals in her house - imagine how they must be treated too:( :mad: :(

Miss Meow

11-29-2002, 04:50 AM

If what you saw alarmed you enough to call 911, then it was definitely the right thing for you to do. I hope the authorities are able to provide assistance to this family so the children have a chance of growing up into well-balanced adults. Good on you for taking a stand.

Pam

11-29-2002, 06:43 AM

Tanya I totally agree with everyone else. Your call may have been the one that could change the future for those children. She has probably been doing this all through their short little lives and now maybe, as a result of your call, she will get the professional help she needs. This would be the best possible outcome and of course we will never know how it turns out but you can be proud that you acted responsibly to try and be of help. I agree with Lizbud - what must go on in the privacy of their home **shuddering here** I will say a little prayer for those children. I know there is a great debate about spanking children, but I never spanked my children. It seemed hypocritical to me to teach a child not to hit another child and then hit them yourself! The world has enough violence without having it at home from those who are supposed to love you.

Tanya&Fritz

11-29-2002, 07:35 AM

Thank you so much everyone! I feel much better about it all now.

Cincy'sMom

11-29-2002, 08:32 AM

As eeryone else has said, you did the right thing. you got involved, and in the right way...by calling the police once you were away fromt he situation. you probally helped those kids out tremendously, and the parent does not know who you are. As tempting as it is to sy something to her yourself, letting the authorities handle it is the safest way for you.

shais_mom

11-29-2002, 11:48 PM

definatley did the right thing!!!!
You could have saved those kids from alot worse!

kohala

11-30-2002, 03:43 AM

As much as I believe children should be spanked (not hard, and only on their padded little bottoms) when they are inappropriately physically agressive (better to learn that bad behavior can get you "hurt" from mom or dad, than not know it until you get nearly beaten to death in fights when older), I do not belive for one minute that seeing blatant child abuse should go unreported and untreated!

Now if we could only itercede for the young victims of emotional abuse - ah, what a world!!!

HoRsELUvR

11-30-2002, 09:55 AM

of course you did the right thing,and its good that you did,because you prevented something from happening to those kids.

Kfamr

11-30-2002, 12:35 PM

You did the right thing. My parents get pissed at me alot.... But never once have the touched me. I think they're afraid i might hit them back. I mean, if i've done somthing bad, i'll take the punishment... but hitting is not a punishment. Ok so it might hurt, but what does that teach the child? Violence, and is that right? No. There's no doubt in my mind if my parents where to ever come at me, and beat me, that i'd fight back and do everything in my strength to make them stop, no matter how disrespecting or whatever that sounded, it's how it is. once again, you did the right thing.

COCatMama

11-30-2002, 07:46 PM

floppsy : use a payphone and make an anonymous call, say something like a friend told me his/her neighbours are abusing their cat by hitting it, throwing things at it, etc etc'

shais_mom

12-02-2002, 01:41 AM

Originally posted by FloppsyLadySally89
PS-my mom never hits me because if she does I threaten to call the police. Aren't I a wonderful daughter:rolleyes: .

Britt,
this isn't even funny to joke about. I can't believe this. If I ever said that to my parents I definately would still have gotten spanked. The times I did get spanked I deserved it. As I think you do too....

kohala

12-02-2002, 02:19 AM

Originally posted by FloppsyLadySally89

PS-my mom never hits me because if she does I threaten to call the police. Aren't I a wonderful daughter:rolleyes: .

Do you know the difference between "beat", "hit" and "spank"?
I heard three different perspectives from young people here:
I totally agree with Popcornbird, and I know because I was one of those kids who was never spanked. What I found later in life is that when you are an adult, if you never had heard "no", or been "spanked" when you were wrong as a kid, you would have a hard time learning that people have personal limitations, and your way isn't always the only way. You can't always have eveything your way, as you might think when you're a child. A hard lesson to learn, at the cost of friendships, all too often.
Threatening to call the cops when your parents are disciplining (not abusing) you is the most cowardly thing, because it abuses the true purpose of the law. It also makes it that much harder for the people who really need those laws to benefit from them, as they begin to lose their credibilty. Remember the boy who cried wolf story, and if you haven't heard it, ask someone.
As for fighting back, yes, if you are being beaten, fight back, but mostly get away. Fighting back when you are wrong will just put you in the same place later in life as the ones who never learned to respect other people's spaces and limitations.

Aspen and Misty

12-02-2002, 04:05 AM

Originally posted by popcornbird
If I'm going to grow up to have kids like this, I would rather not have them to start with. :rolleyes:

Kids these days. I try so ahrd no to be like a "normal" teenager. I don't want to have kids. But if I did, I disagree with spanking or hitting, or anything. My dad used to spank us and those, seriously are the only memorys I have of him when I was little. My dad got deathly ill and was never around exept to punish us and it was always a spanking and thats all I rember of him as a child. And now, when were all sitting around the table we haev stories about something funny each one of us kids did when we were ltitle and to many stories about my mom, there are no stories about my father because all of us only rember the times he did those things to us, spanking and the other things he has done. I know its not even half as bad as being beat, don't get me wrong, I'm just sending in my thoughts on spanking.

Ash

kohala

12-02-2002, 06:00 AM

Originally posted by Aspen and Misty

Kids these days. I try so ahrd no to be like a "normal" teenager. I don't want to have kids. But if I did, I disagree with spanking or hitting, or anything. My dad used to spank us and those, seriously are the only memorys I have of him when I was little. My dad got deathly ill and was never around exept to punish us and it was always a spanking and thats all I rember of him as a child. And now, when were all sitting around the table we haev stories about something funny each one of us kids did when we were ltitle and to many stories about my mom, there are no stories about my father because all of us only rember the times he did those things to us, spanking and the other things he has done. I know its not even half as bad as being beat, don't get me wrong, I'm just sending in my thoughts on spanking.

Ash

That's too bad, Ash. My heart goes out to you. But do consider what I said above and what Popcornbird said, too. Spanking, when truly deserved, is a healthy way to let a child know that their bad behavior will have bad results. It is a lesson that children should learn from their parents. But the only time and the only reason a child should be spanked is to teach them that if they act badly, they can get hurt. And the spanking should be just that - a swat on the bottom. That's why God pads them!!!:) (bottoms)

ramanth

12-02-2002, 09:35 AM

Well, I know I was spanked as a child as was my sisters but I can barely recall those times. And when I was spanked, I know I deserved it. I feel I have grown into a well adjusted young woman.

Heck, my sister are both over 21 and I sometimes think they still deserve spankings!! They take my parents giving nature for granted and it's very sad.

Once, I mentioned to a group of friends in passing at camp about how I got spanked for something. I actually thought it was funny.. more so that I got caught. :p ;)

Well... some days later a social worker was at our door step. Someone called the police and told them that my parents abused us!!!!! :mad: I was so scared that we were going to be taken away. My mom cried so hard and for so many nights after that.

Don't ever joke about that Britt. If you love your parents at all you would never do or say that. It's not funny.

NoahsMommy

12-02-2002, 12:12 PM

You did the right thing...I'm so glad you were there to do something about it. Just reading this post send my blood pressure up! I have a huge problem with ANY mean treatment towards kids...I actually spoke up to some people that were fighting and using horrible language around their children at Universal Studios. Jerks.

I most definitely would have rushed up to that "woman" and yanked her away from those children, while I dialed 911 on my cell phone. What a horrible excuse for a human being! :mad: Maybe even restaining her with my car!! ;) What a terrible, terrible person. Especially in public...I don't care what those children did, they didn't deserve that.

Can you tell this makes me mad? :) I'm so proud of what you did...very good.

Britt, honey, you need to educate yourself as well as learning some respect for your parents.

luckies4me

12-02-2002, 12:40 PM

Sometimes threatening your parents is a "GOOD" thing, but I feel in Britts situation her parents do not beat her. There is a difference between slapping/spanking than beating. Anytime my mother would try to hit me I would try to call the police but she would always hide the phone or something else. But....my mom beat the heeby geebys out of me! I only wish I would have been able to talk to the police and let them know what was going on.

There were a few times the social services were called. I prayed each time that they would take us away but at the same time I was so scared to be seperated from my family I always lied and said things were fine. I wanted to stay with my younger brother and sister and DID NOT want them to go into a foster home. My mother never hit them when they were babies or toddlers but when they turned around 3 or 4 she started spanking them and HARD! She still slaps us (and I'm 23 tomorrow mind you) if we accidently step on her toes , even though it is her fault that she isn't wearing shoes. :mad: But that's just the way she is. Thank god she doesn't beat anymore. I do not blame her though because my brother and sisters father beat her everyday, sending her to the hospital while pregnant wth my sister. My older brother and I would always try to stop him but we were so young and weak. In return she would take it out on us. She finally sought help and now I love her lots! :D She does have her moments (like the toes inccidents) but she is now a great mom. She doesn't slap unless my younger brother and sister need it, which is rarely ever. Thank god for my stepfather! He turned her life around.

But please do not joke unless you are really in trouble like I was. You would not believe the sort of mess you can cause.

Slapping and spanking are NOT being beaten. If your mother punches you, throws you in the shower (long story) or something else then DO report it. Talk to someone like a teacher or friends mom and let them know you and YOUR MOTHER/FATHER need help.

luckies4me

12-02-2002, 12:52 PM

Oh and just to let everyone know, kids who parents beat them do not all turn out bad! :D

I am a very loving mother to my son and would never even imagine doing things to him like my mother did to me. I slapped him once on his leg when he wouldn't sit still to change his diaper and he got poop EVERYWHERE ON MY MOTHERS NEW WHITE CARPET:eek: and I felt horrible. That was when he was 7 months old and I would NEVER DO IT AGAIN! ever. It wasn't hard but the thought of hurting my child even for a little spank scares me. I want him to grow up and know his mommy loves him and to teach him love and not to be afriad of me. I cried that night so long and told him I loved him a gazillion times. Now when he stresses me out and doesn't cooperate I take a deep breathe, count to ten and try again, and if that doesn't work I walk away. And guess what? I haven't done it sense. :D Which is good for me because I grew up that way and that was the main scary thought during my pregnancy, that I was going to turn out like my mother and I didn't....thank god. Plus you can't expect a 7 month old to sit still for a diaper change either. :rolleyes:

But for those who feel stressed please take a beathe first and know there is another way to discipline without beating.

I have seen those kids who are not disciplined at all and are wild children! However, my bfs sister, who's son is 2 years is spanked constantly and hard! Now guess what he does to momma? He hits her when he gets mad. It's starting all over again. There are limits that must be set and she just spanks spanks spanks to no end. Once when my son was was 3 months old, her son grabbed Dylan in the face and pinched it making him bleed. She immdiately grabbed her son by the arm, took him to the couch and hit him really hard about 12 timess, on the back, butt and arms. I was amazed!:eek: :( Then poor guy, when he was crying he came to his mom for comfort and she hit him again. It was so sad. But now he is mimicing her. It's too bad.

NoahsMommy

12-02-2002, 01:08 PM

luckies4me,
Please don't take this the wrong way...please. I am coming from a place were I've seen this type of behavior as a child advocate. I was there when "my" child was taken from her home and put into a children's home. I know the behavior your mom exhibited was out of frustration and her past....but, you may want to consider not leaving your son in her care alone...that frustration can easily come back if she's evoked.

Just be careful. And please, don't take this the wrong way, I know people can change, but your child depends soley on you for his safety.

luckies4me

12-02-2002, 01:22 PM

Originally posted by NoahsMommy
luckies4me,
Please don't take this the wrong way...please. I am coming from a place were I've seen this type of behavior as a child advocate. I was there when "my" child was taken from her home and put into a children's home. I know the behavior your mom exhibited was out of frustration and her past....but, you may want to consider not leaving your son in her care alone...that frustration can easily come back if she's evoked.

Just be careful. And please, don't take this the wrong way, I know people can change, but your child depends soley on you for his safety.

Yes I know this and I totally understand. He has been left in her care many times and I willnever second guess it. She always baby sits my nephew all the time and is perfect! She is a great mom now and a great grandmother as well. But thanks for the concern. :)

All Creatures Great And Small

12-02-2002, 07:29 PM

Uh oh, Britt, time to delete your posts I guess, since you can't delete the whole thread this time :rolleyes: . Your parents have probably never even raised a hand toward you, because I don't think they know or care what you're doing all day long, especially on the Internet. OR, they are so sick of your BS that maybe they have wanted to give you a good smack. You obviously think you are a grown-up, an equal to your parents, and they give you way too much freedom for someone your age (including posting on Pet Talk, where you are supposed to be 13 to do so!) Or, my 3rd theory, that you are just talking nonsense again to get attention, which is lame and sad. First you say they "go to" hit you, then you say they never laid a hand on you, then you say your life is twisted (I guessed that MONTHS ago) but we shouldn't think that? Whatever. I suggest you do a search on the Internet (since you're on there all night anyway) and look for a chat group for children of dysfunctional families, because they would enjoy these stories a lot more than loving pet owners do. By the way, the description of the cat abuse sounds very familiar......oh, that's right, that was your SISTER that was abusing a cat, not the neighbors..........why don't you fix what's wrong in your own house before you start in on someone else's.

Desert Arabian

12-02-2002, 08:04 PM

Originally posted by FloppsyLadySally89
I just get really scared when she goes to hit me because I think she really will beat me.
I wonder why your mom would do such a thing? I'm stumped!
You know Britt, I know how you feel a little bit since I am only 15, and I gave gone through similar things (along with most of the people on Pet Talk), and I wish I could give my sympathy but you are ridiculous and you popped my last nerve. If I were your mother I would be in a mental institution or in prison. My mom and dad have taught me some lessons, that were not taught to my likings. Let's see, would you like some examples? When I was around 4 years old, I refused to put my seatbelt on in the car, and I told my mom "I don't need to put it on because we are just going up the block, and not on the highway." Do you know what my mom did? She drove down the road, and slammed on the brakes- I wacked my head on the dashboard. And she said "That's why you need your seatbelt on." Do I HATE my mom, do I threaten to call the police on her? No! I love her very much, she is one of my closest friends. Oh, and another time I was mad at my mom and I wrote my friend a nasty e-mail about her, well, my mom walked in and saw it before I could close it. What happened? She SCREAMED at me, and chased me around the house, and I ran out the frontdoor, she followed me and I yelled "Get away from me you psychotic b****." That taught me a lesson. Did I threaten to call the police? No. Did I make posts on Pet Talk all the time saying how horrible my parents are? No, because they did the right thing. I was acting VERY immature, and I needed to be corrected. You really need to stop making attention getting posts that are 99.5%b.s and lies. I also I love it when I read posts about neighbors abusing their animals, and how horrible and mean they are. Why, isn't that what is happening in your house? Why, yes! It is. Cat's getting swung around by their back legs, getting hot noodles dropped on their backs. Forcing a cat into a rabbit cage, and I don't even want to go on, because I don't feel like throwing up tonight, my dinner was quite tasty and I would like to keep it down. Before you go around pointing fingers at other people, make sure you're not yelling at them for the same things you do. Oh yea, didn't you know that you have to be 13 or older to be on here in the first place? Oh by the way, if my parents beat me i.e. punched, kicked, threw,EXTREMELY hard slap, or anything that would leave horrible marks or scars- I would call the police. But, I have never been beaten before, so I have never had to worry about that. And to tell you the honest truth, I really don't think my parents COULD beat me (you don't know me that good :p ), and I think my mom can second that. Ok....I need to stop now, I am wasting too much time on a useless cause. :mad: :rolleyes: :mad: :rolleyes:

luckies4me

12-02-2002, 08:41 PM

Ok I know everyone is entitled to their opinions and I do believe that Brit is over reacting BUT..... please no name calling or flaming. It is not apropriate for us to be doing this on a nice forum. Please keep it friendly and let others express themselves freely without being targeted.

Thank you. :)

Cookiebaker

12-02-2002, 08:51 PM

Originally posted by FloppsyLadySally89
I didn't say I was joking. I get scared if my mom comes at me. I would never actually do it, but I needed to get my mom off my back. If I did one little thing wrong, she'd hit me. Dad, same. So did I ever KID around about that? I'm not saying she abuses me, I just get really scared when she goes to hit me because I think she really will beat me. Maybe I am abusing that law or stretching it out a bit, but oh well that is how I feel. I also never said they did beat me, infact they have never laid a hand on me as I recall. I hear all these stories, including these threads, and it scares me. I will never trust anyone ever in this world not even my own mother and father. It's just the way I am. I'm like my bunny-if one thing happens, I will never trust them again. Now please do not think I am weird or have a twisted life, even if it is true. OK? :(

PS(Lalaina)- I would do that, but my mom knows I am the only one who suspects this and then they would kill me. :(

Britt, if you want people to view you as grown up or mature, you really have to act it. It doesn't work any other way. I know you are going to think that these posts are hurting your feelings, but the truth hurts only if it should. So start by respecting your parents...you never know, they just might start respecting you in return. And stick to talking about your pets, OK? Stop with the attention getting soap operas. Thanks.

luckies4me

12-02-2002, 08:54 PM

That is exactly what I was saying. If you have a problem with a person or their actions/posts etc. please take it to PM or say it nicely. ;)

All Creatures Great And Small

12-02-2002, 08:58 PM

please no name calling or flaming.
I re-read my post, and I don't see any name that I called. This thread got no more out of hand than some others I've seen (like the one about signing the card for the persons in the military - that one got downright ugly!).

let others express themselves freely
Exactly, and I am expressing myself freely. Any "flaming" comes from being flaming mad at Britt. She wants to know what everyone thinks about her home situation, which she herself admits is "twisted". I told her. I get angry when I am manipulated, which is what she does when she visits a PET LOVERS website and starts talking about less than loving things that have happened to her animals in her house.

Please keep it friendly I'm sorry, I can't be cordial when animals are being mistreated. I just can't.

Soledad

12-02-2002, 08:58 PM

I actually think Britt seems to have a rather messy home life. How can we expect a 12 year old in a seemingly strange household to act like a 25 year old? Maybe she has genuine reasons to fear her mother. I've seen other posts where she has expressed this.

I guess I don't mind a 12 year old acting like a 12 year old nearly as much as I mind 15 year olds saying things like "kids these days" (as though they know any other days) or trying extra hard to appear mature.

She's a kid, let's back off.

All Creatures Great And Small

12-02-2002, 09:07 PM

Originally posted by popcornbird
I feel sorry for your mom. If I'm going to grow up to have kids like this, I would rather not have them to start with. :rolleyes: Wow, that was a little harsh for someone who doesn't want to be mean.........
We should be expressing our feelings, but not rudely, or by saying mean things, or insulting anyone or anyone's families.

All Creatures Great And Small

12-02-2002, 09:15 PM

Originally posted by Soledad
I actually think Britt seems to have a rather messy home life. How can we expect a 12 year old in a seemingly strange household to act like a 25 year old? Maybe she has genuine reasons to fear her mother. I've seen other posts where she has expressed this.

I guess I don't mind a 12 year old acting like a 12 year old nearly as much as I mind 15 year olds saying things like "kids these days" (as though they know any other days) or trying extra hard to appear mature.

She's a kid, let's back off.

I don't expect her to act like a 25 year old - if she's 12, she should be acting like a 12 year old, by respecting her parents, being decent to her animals, and not sitting unattended for hours on the Internet. I agree that her home life is messed up, but apparently I wasn't supposed to say that on a post. I guess the only way to really find out what goes on there would be to have SallysSlave62 join this discussion:eek:

Soledad

12-02-2002, 09:18 PM

You can't expect a certain personality or attitude out of someone based simply on age.

The girl obviously needs attention and has posted some disturbing things about her family members on here. People from different backgrounds react differently. I defend your right to be annoyed with her, but you can't expect everyone to adhere to your views on maturity.

Sounds to me like Britt really needs friends.

All Creatures Great And Small

12-02-2002, 09:27 PM

Originally posted by Soledad
You can't expect a certain personality or attitude out of someone based simply on age. I guess I don't mind a 12 year old acting like a 12 year old nearly as much as I mind 15 year olds saying things like "kids these days" (as though they know any other days) or trying extra hard to appear mature.

You've contradicted yourself here - if you can't base a personality on age, then how can you judge 15 year olds acting a certain way or 12 year olds acting "like 12 year olds"? If age isn't an issue, then why should we "give her a break?" Shouldn't everyone be held accountable for their actions, especially toward animals? Also, if you think a 15 year old is "trying extra hard to appear mature", then aren't you giving your views on maturity?

Soledad

12-02-2002, 09:31 PM

My reference was to fifteen year olds who say things like "sigh...kids these days..." as though they know kids from any other age. Saying things like that is deceptive in that it attempts to project a level of age and experience they do not have. That is a fact, not a subjective opinion on maturity (which cannot be universally defined).

But, good try.

All Creatures Great And Small

12-02-2002, 09:40 PM

Originally posted by Soledad
My reference was to fifteen year olds who say things like "sigh...kids these days..." as though they know kids from any other age. Saying things like that is deceptive in that it attempts to project a level of age and experience they do not have. That is a fact, not a subjective opinion on maturity (which cannot be universally defined).

But, good try.

No, it's not a fact. It is your subjective opinion on 15-year-olds, which cannot be universally defined. You haven't had her experiences, so it can't be a fact. It is your subjective opinion on her level of experience. It is your subjective opinion that she is being deceptive. A 15 year old has had 3 more years of life experiences than a 12 year old, although your subjective opinion is that these are to be totally discounted. I suggest you look into getting a sense of humor, then, as obviously the 15 year old was trying to be funny. (In my subjective opinion)

All Creatures Great And Small

12-02-2002, 09:44 PM

Originally posted by Soledad
But, good try.

Incidentally, this was very patronizing - and that's a FACT.

Soledad

12-02-2002, 09:45 PM

Wow, sounds like you've got more problems than lil' ole Britt.

I'll get a sense of humor, if you get a Valium and perhaps some anger management.

I think it's a FACT that a 15 year old does not have a generation beneath her to say such a thing.

Aspen and Misty

12-02-2002, 09:47 PM

I would have to say, and many also say, that I am a little bit mature for a 14 year old, but I would never, ever, think I am above my parents. Its like in a wolf pack, your parents are the alpha and you are the new pup who needs to be put in its place now and then. Sometimes I think its hard to forgive people for what they have done, but you need to. I think, Britt, you areh aveing trouble forgiving either your parents, or the world for something it has done to you. I also think Britt is at the stage at life where you get real depressed, that happned to me last year and I think it has become a part of growing up now, sadly. Its just something she needs to get through. She obviously has alot of issues with her family and I beleave she should seek family counciling.

Ash

All Creatures Great And Small

12-02-2002, 09:48 PM

Did you just flame me? Did you just insult me by implying that I'm mentally unstable? The reference to getting a sense of humor was from one of YOUR previous posts to someone else, that they should get one. I am not at all angry, I just think it's funny the way you pontificate. It must feel so good to know you have all the answers in life.

Soledad

12-02-2002, 09:52 PM

It really does feel great, thanks for acknowledging it.

P.S. Am I improving on that sense of humor thing?

All Creatures Great And Small

12-02-2002, 09:55 PM

Hmmmm.... I don't know, but I think I'll go recharge mine by watching some MST3K - don't need the Valium as I am already on prescribed medications (bwaaaaahhhhhahahaaaaaa!!!!) :D :D :D

lizbud

12-02-2002, 10:22 PM

We're so far off topic it's not even funny .

Bet FloppsyLady is busting a gut laughing at all these
older folks comments & all the stir she's created. So sad.:(

Soledad

12-02-2002, 10:25 PM

How can she be busting a gut laughing if it's "not even funny"?

:)

Must go home, long work day.

luckies4me

12-02-2002, 10:27 PM

Originally posted by All Creatures Great And Small
I'm sorry, I can't be cordial when animals are being mistreated. I just can't.

Well I totally agree with you on that one!!!!!!

I do however agree with everyones opionions in a way. I do however feel that we as ADULTS should be hear to guide children and to teach them right from wrong and perhaps help Brit understand some things. I think she needs friends to guide her and teach her how to properly care for pets etc.

ramanth

12-03-2002, 08:44 AM

The fact of the matter is she contradicted herself in just this one post....

Originally posted by FloppsyLadySally89
I didn't say I was joking. I get scared if my mom comes at me. I would never actually do it, but I needed to get my mom off my back. If I did one little thing wrong, she'd hit me. Dad, same. So did I ever KID around about that? I'm not saying she abuses me, I just get really scared when she goes to hit me because I think she really will beat me. Maybe I am abusing that law or stretching it out a bit, but oh well that is how I feel. I also never said they did beat me, infact they have never laid a hand on me as I recall. I hear all these stories, including these threads, and it scares me. I will never trust anyone ever in this world not even my own mother and father. It's just the way I am. I'm like my bunny-if one thing happens, I will never trust them again. Now please do not think I am weird or have a twisted life, even if it is true. OK? :(
Last time I checked in order to "hit" someone you have to "lay a hand on them".

How can any of us take her claims seriously if she doesn't even have her facts straight?

Which is why I'm guessing many are angry here and accusing her of just trying to get attention.

Is she afraid of her mom? Perhaps. But I'm 25 years old and I still feel afraid if my mom is upset at me. Afraid that she'll hit me? No. Afraid that she'll be dissapointed with me. My mom's trust and respect mean the world to me.

my 2 cents.....

Tanya&Fritz

12-03-2002, 09:08 AM

I think someone should PM her mom. I would, but I don't know her. She's only 12, why is she on this site???

All Creatures Great And Small

12-03-2002, 09:15 AM

Originally posted by popcornbird

A middle age adult with a full life experience yelling at a 12 year old kid is not nice at all.

No, but that's what parenting is - it's not always about warm fuzzies. I'm not Mother Teresa; if a kid (even my own) grates on my nerves that much, I might impart some of my "life experience" in a crabby way, especially if the kid in question has been told NUMEROUS times that her behavior is unacceptable and still persists. I start out asking my daughter nicely, to do something. After several hours, several "nice" requests, and nothing but disrepect and inaction in return, I blow a verbal fuse. Several people have tried nicely with Britt, but she's not getting the message. (Notice that I did not use foul language or character assasination, just some theories on what the problem might be, and suggestions on where to find sites where her stories might be better appreciated.) I wouldn't care if it were just about her, but this is a pet forum, and she has animals that aren't being treated well. Life is not always nice; parents who coddle their children aren't doing them any favors, although I must say, Popcornbird, that your parents seem to have done a good job with you - you're very intelligent and literate. Unfortunately, some of us parents weren't blessed with cooperative, respectful kids like you, so our job of molding their little personalities is sometimes beyond our ability. And yes, my daughter is sometimes VERY rude, and that's been her basic personality since birth, pretty much, although in her teen years it has really exploded. I do read ALL of her posts on here, and I don't agree with a lot of them or the way they are imparted, so she and I discuss it, but she usually decides to express herself the way she wants to. She needs to experience the results from her actions, like the scoldings she gets on Pet Talk - if she hears it from more people than just me, she might get it. (Kind of like when I let her smack her head on the dashboard - she needs to have things demonstrated graphically because she is EXTREMELY bull-headed and argumentative.) Oh, and by the way, YLL - I LOVE YOU - ALWAYS HAVE, ALWAYS WILL even though you don't make it easy at times;) :p.

Oh, and this is from the registration page on Pet Talk - You must be over the age of 13 to register. If you agree to the terms, and are over 13, please press the Agree button at the end of the page.

Nomilynn

12-03-2002, 09:54 AM

Originally posted by popcornbird
A middle age adult with a full life experience yelling at a 12 year old kid is not nice at all.

My parents didn't think they could have children, so when they stopped trying I showed up :D They were in their mid thirties when the had me. I think I respect my parents more that they are older, because I don't feel like they ever tried to me my friends. They were my parents. Now that I am an adult my mom and dad are my best friends, but never when I was younger and I still needed parenting. I still rely on them for help and guidance, and I always will, but I think that our relationship is what it is today because of the experience they brought with them when they became parents. I don't want to have any kids until I'm in my thirties either. I'm 22 now and I know I'm not mature enough to have kids, nor am I financially stable or finished my education! I am glad that it worked out the way it did, because I think being older made my parents that much greater at it! :D

luckies4me

12-03-2002, 10:36 AM

Ok I know this has nothing to do with the topic, but I want to have all my kids by the time I am thirty! :D

Got one so far, two more wouldn't hurt. ;) A womens child bearing years are being cut shorter every year and i alreadyhad enough trouble with this pregnancy and lost a baby a few months ago. I think it is great that when my son is 14 I will still be able to romp around and play tag with him.

zippy-kat

12-03-2002, 12:02 PM

Originally posted by All Creatures Great And Small
Oh, and this is from the registration page on Pet Talk - You must be over the age of 13 to register. If you agree to the terms, and are over 13, please press the Agree button at the end of the page.

The implicit rule is you have to have parental permission if under 13.

And, *I think*, Britt's mother did give her approval via email along time ago. It seems like that was either in a post somewhere or in one of my past PM's.

I do know FOR SURE that Britt had the "OK" to participate in the Christmas Card exchange.
I wasn't certain if Britt was telling the truth about havin' her Mom's ok. To make a long story short, I asked Karen to become involved. She found out that it was against the law to send mass mailings to anyone under the age of 13 (15? I forgot now) unless there was parental permission. I do know that Karen spoke over the phone to Britt's mother and approval was given.

zippy-kat

12-03-2002, 12:04 PM

Originally posted by kingrattus
Lips Died lastnight.

My sympathy for the passing of Lips. :(

NoahsMommy

12-03-2002, 12:09 PM

I think we need to see Britt for what she is and what she's doing. I agree she's young and just needs attention. For whatever reason that may be...

So, Britt....if you feel you are truley, deathly afraid of your parents, seek help. 9-1-1 or your local police station can be of great help. If you chose to go that route, you and your sister will be taken away from your family and most likely be placed in a foster home. You will be safe and away from an abusive situation.

If you DON'T feel afraid of your parents, then you need to realize how the world works. Our parents have power over us until we are 18 years old. We respect their authority...no matter what, even if they make choices and decisions that we don't like. Of course its hard to accept this, even at 24 (and married), I struggle with what my mom says and does...but I've heard that will happen as long as we are both alive. :)

So, if you need help...ask. If not, please don't sound false alarms. It is very cruel to children that DO need this help...and a total waste of time.

NoahsMommy

12-03-2002, 12:11 PM

Originally posted by kingrattus
Lips Died lastnight.
:( :( :( I'm very sorry... :( :( :(

Logan

12-03-2002, 01:05 PM

Kingrattus, I am sorry about your "lips". I don't even know what kind of pet it is, but it is always hard to lose one. :(

As for the whole FloppsySallyLady issue........I think we need to let it die, folks. Karen and Paul can handle it as they see fit. I have my opinion, but I think I will keep it to myself. :(

Logan
A mother of one human child, who hopes her child never has reason to rant about her on the internet. :(

lizbud

12-03-2002, 07:31 PM

FLS,

" Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?"--Fanny Brice

kingrattus

12-03-2002, 10:54 PM

Thanks for noticine that Lips died. Lips was my pet goldfish. He was the biggest I have ever ownedhe was about 8" long & about 4-5 " tall, he was fat & had a huge hump on his back... I name him lips cause he has big lips & he made loud sounds when he was eating his food. It was horrible to see ur pet riped to shreds, all that was left were his guts & nothing more :( :( :(

luckies4me

12-03-2002, 10:58 PM

Originally posted by kingrattus
Thanks for noticine that Lips died. Lips was my pet goldfish. He was the biggest I have ever ownedhe was about 8" long & about 4-5 " tall, he was fat & had a huge hump on his back... I name him lips cause he has big lips & he made loud sounds when he was eating his food. It was horrible to see ur pet riped to shreds, all that was left were his guts & nothing more :( :( :(

Oh My! What happened to poor lips? I send my best regards your way and know that your beloved fishie is swimming the clear blue sees of heaven. :)

kohala

12-03-2002, 11:13 PM

Was he a goldfish or an oscar? Who shredded him? Poor baby -

Karen

12-03-2002, 11:27 PM

Poor Lips, he must be in fishy heaven now, poor Lips.

As for "Why FLS is allowed on the site, even though she is 12 ..."

In case anyone is wondering, the law states that a child CAN be allowed on a site like this if they have parental permission. I did, indeed, speak to Britt's mother on the telephone, we had quite a long conversation, and she promised me several things, and said, Yes, she gave official permission for her daughter to both participate in this site, and participate in the Christmas Card list.

When you register, if you hit the "after such and such a date" for your birthday, it tells you to get parental permission, and emails us, the administrators, to alert us to look for it, before the person is approved.

kohala

12-03-2002, 11:42 PM

Originally posted by Karen
Poor Lips, he must be in fishy heaven now, poor Lips.

As for "Why FLS is allowed on the site, even though she is 12 ..."

In case anyone is wondering, the law states that a child CAN be allowed on a site like this if they have parental permission. I did, indeed, speak to Britt's mother on the telephone, we had quite a long conversation, and she promised me several things, and said, Yes, she gave official permission for her daughter to both participate in this site, and participate in the Christmas Card list.

When you register, if you hit the "after such and such a date" for your birthday, it tells you to get parental permission, and emails us, the administrators, to alert us to look for it, before the person is approved.

Considering "It takes a village to raise a child", isn't it interesting to see the postivie side of technology at work right here. And FLS, that was a very thoughtful post you did earlier.